up
by valerieclikowsky
Summary: upupup
1. Chapter 1

uesday 11:02 pm – Somewhere on the M4

Harry fished his I-phone out of his pocket, accidentally nudging Niall with his elbow, and read his new text. "Ha, that's funny, my mum's just bought the new and improved Nokia. I told you she would."  
"How can something be 'new' and 'improved' if it is _new_? What was it improving on?" Louis sing-songed back absently as he typed away on his laptop. Louis was obsessed with Twitter. "Hey," he said suddenly, "do you think it is legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as your follow the direction of the traffic?"  
"What?" Harry snorted as he elbowed his friend in the ribs and laughed, "Stop talking crazy, mate."  
"I'm just saying…" Louis shrugged and then grinned, "like, if you managed to dig a hole to China, and you fell in, would you stop in the middle because of gravity?"  
"Dig a hole and I'll push you in so you can find out," Harry threw back automatically.  
"Aww, you would do that for me? _Really_? You say the sweetest things." Louis batted his eyelashes and then playfully squeezed Harry's thigh. Harry fidgeted and glanced across the car at Liam, who was watching them both in amusement. Liam had twisted in his seat to lean back against the car door and had his legs curled up on the middle seat with Zayn's. It was a familiar sight – Zayn and Liam had a habit of letting their limbs naturally gravitate together in close spaces. Harry thought it was hilarious because although Liam and Zayn were the best of friends they were also as heterosexual as you can possibly be without being an arsehole. But around each other, as well as Harry, Louis and Niall, they let themselves go completely. The closeness and affection they all had with each other was almost more liberal than which they shared with girlfriends – and sometimes a lot less awkward too! Harry had long ago stopped trying to rationalise their bond in his head. Now he just accepted it and went with the flow – especially when it came to Louis and his crazy antics.  
As per usual, Zayn was already asleep, arms crossed against his chest and chin lolling with every gentle roll of the car. Anything longer than a twenty-minute journey Zayn, without fail, would be asleep before the timer hit the 21 minutes. Liam wasn't much better either and his eyes were already hooded. Harry wished he could fall asleep with such ease but, generally, he had to be lying in a proper bed to get any decent shut-eye. Niall didn't tend to drop off in public like Zayn and Liam did either unless he was incredibly tired. Harry glanced to his right, at his Irish friend, and smiled to see Niall's eyes blinking and drooping as he played with his phone. Like the effect of yawning, Harry felt his own eyes starting to droop – maybe he could go for a little nap after all.  
Louis was the only one of them who seemed to remain perky every second of the waking hours - no matter what. Harry had never even seen Louis resting his eyes - except in a joking manner when he was playing it up for the camera. Therefore, Louis could always be counted on to be a source of entertainment during travel and down time (whenever he wasn't playing with his inferno laptop) and Harry adored his friend for that.  
Meeting Liam's eyes again, he smiled sleepily at his best friend. Liam was like a big brother to him, always looking out for his well-being, always being the straight, serious one even though he wasn't the oldest in the band. Louis was actually the oldest - although you wouldn't know it by the way he acted. Always bouncing around and goofing off, yeah, Louis was definitely the excitable one. Niall was the sweet one. Zayn was the charming one and Harry was… well Harry – the baby.  
Liam instantly smiled back and looked ready to say something when his smile froze, his gaze suddenly on Louis. "Hey, are you alright?"  
Harry turned in his seat and frowned too as he saw Louis massaging his head with a grimace.  
"Yeah," Louis replied brightly, his grimace turning into a smile almost instantly, "just had a bit of a headache all day." It was no surprise that this was news to them. Louis didn't like to complain. It had taken them two days to find out that he had pulled a muscle in his back during rehearsal on Saturday. It was only because he couldn't help but limp on Monday that they had cottoned on to the injury.  
"Why don't you try to catch some sleep then?" Liam suggested, knowing Louis would just brush off the idea with a laugh but he wanted to put the idea out there anyway – being a concerned friend and all. "We've still got another hour and half until we get to Birmingham".  
To Harry and Liam's surprise Louis actually nodded. "Maybe I will."  
Harry and Liam shared puzzled looks but didn't say anything as they watched their friend shut down his laptop and tuck it into the pouch behind Zayn's seat. "Wish I had a pillow," Louis yawned, "I bet this door's harder than it looks."  
Harry smiled and slid an arm around Louis's neck, tugging the lad towards him. "Come here you fool."  
Louis grinned and snuggled into the crook of Harry's neck with a sigh, his breath tickling his skin. "Best pillow ever…" he murmured, making Harry laugh. However, the moment Louis actually started to fall asleep, his head slipped forward - so Harry urged him to lay down and rest his head on his lap instead. Doing so, Louis instinctively curled up - tucking his hand under Harry's knee, and Harry, in return, draped his own arm protectively around his friend's back, holding him close. Louis's warm weight on his thigh was actually kind of nice, he thought distractedly. Then he grinned at what the fans would say when he told them Louis was a total cuddler with no shame at all.  
"Aww," Liam cooed, breaking Harry's musings as he lifted his phone up and snapped a picture, "Smile for Twitter!" Harry just stuck his tongue out and settled back into his seat, letting himself doze against the warm weight of his friend. If Zayn and Liam could get away with it, so could he and Louis. He had to take advantage. It wasn't everyday that Louis went quiet so easily, which probably meant his headache was pretty bad. Not that that was surprising; his friend had looked dead exhausted these past few days and the dark circles seemed to be even more prominent now without the stage make-up covering them over. True, they all had circles and bags but Louis's pale, delicate skin showed them up something awful. But… he _was_ still one of the cutest guys ever – and that list was including Joe McElderry! Nobody with seeing eyes could serious deny what a gorgeous smile Louis had – it was disarming and crafty and wicked and sometimes way too charming. Although, Harry must stress he didn't swing _that_ way. He liked girls – a little too much according to Simon. That didn't mean he couldn't appreciate from a distance.

~*~

LG Arena, Wednesday, 10.29pm

The concert was beyond awesome. In fact it was explosive in it's epic spectacular-ness! They got pressured for encore after encore and deafened by the never-ending screams, which seemed to hit a whole new decibel with 14,000 fans in the room. They had never performed their songs so well and even Louis managed to forget his strained back muscle enough to totally rock out. He even got the chance to perform his new solo as an encore and Harry swore the roof nearly blew off by the roar of cheering from the audience. Louis didn't get enough credit for his voice. He was a fantastic singer - just too happy to sit in the background than fight for the lead. They all tackled him with hugs at the end of the song, which raised the screaming decibel even higher. Louis beamed, stupidly cute and bashfully pleased and Harry couldn't help but hug him again. There was something special about a happy Louis, which Harry found irresistible. Sure, he loved all his band mates like siblings but with Louis in particular… Harry had never felt so comfortable and close to anyone before. They were true partners in crime, daring each other to be more and more outrageous with their pranks and goofs. They also lived in each others pockets – sometimes quite literally when they got into one of their handsy moods. But they were also each others confidante too and the one they sought comfort and affection from first. Neither had a problem being all over each other, physically and emotionally, and their lack of boundaries often raised eyebrows of onlookers. Their fans called their relationship an 'epic bromance' and, sure, they did play it up for the cameras quite a lot, but all their antics and affection were completely genuine. In fact, they were even more handsy and demonstrative behind closed doors where there was no call for public decorum.  
They finished the concert that night with a highly energetic rendition of Forever Young and their last notes were punctured with a fantastic display of indoor fireworks.  
"Woohoo!" Niall yelled, bouncing onto Harry's shoulders as they started to leave the stage. Zayn bounded beside them, whooping – and even straight-laced Liam was laughing as he skipped backstage. "That was amazing!"  
"So awesome!" Harry agreed, high-fiving him.  
"Hey Louis, wait up!" Niall yelled. Louis was almost at the stairs, way in front of them and Harry could tell he was limping quite badly – obviously having used up all his energy for the show. At Niall's shout, Louis stumbled as he started to turn around and gripped his side - his face screwed up in agony. Then his legs started to buckle. He reached out to grab the banister but missed and disappeared down the stairs.  
Whenever Harry relived the moment, and he did many times, time seemed to slow right down. All of their screams and cries sounded warped, like a broken tape and their legs wanted to go nowhere fast as they tried to run. In reality, they were at their friend's side within seconds. The backstage crew and their bodyguards had instantly raced forward too – blocking the stairs in their haste. Niall was the first of the band to reach the edge of the platform and vaulted over the metal railings, dropping the 3ft to the ground. Without a thought, Harry followed – the impact jarring his back and knees, no that he cared. People had already crowded around their fallen band mate, blocking him from view. The boys tried to find a gap big enough to squeeze through and, over the shouting, Harry dimly heard someone calling for an ambulance. The only thought in his mind was that he needed to get to Louis right _now_.  
"Excuse me!" he yelled, trying to shove through the throng. However, he was pushed away firmly. "Stay back, boys." one of their bodyguards told them, putting an arm out as a barrier. "No, let us through! He's hurt." Harry cried, trying to duck under Steve's arm, panic welling up inside him like hysteria. "Louis?" He yelled out but Steve held him back forcibly. "Boys, please stand back for the time being." Harry wouldn't hear any of it though and kept pulling at people as he frantically tried to get through. Suddenly he was yanked backwards into a firm embrace, "Calm down, Harry," Zayn soothed in his ear, "the first aiders are there checking him over. Give them a few minutes."  
Liam tried to peer over the heads, "Is he okay?" he demanded of their bodyguard. Steve didn't reply but the look on his face said more than enough.  
Without another thought, Harry ripped himself out of Zayn's hold and shoved himself forcibly through the crowd before anyone could stop him. What he saw had him skidding to his knees next to his best friend with an anguished cry.  
"Careful," said the first-aider sharply, "Don't jostle him." Louis was clearly unconscious; he had obviously not been moved from where he had crumpled to the ground and lay there pale and eerily still. There was no sign of that impish smile. The first-aider was pressing a dressing to the top of Louis's head but a trickle of blood had managed to seep out and was slowly flowing down his cheek. "Louis?" Harry said urgently, wiping away the blood with his sleeve before taking his friend's limp hand in his and squeezing it. "_Louis_." He hissed, "This isn't funny. Stop messing around. Come on, open your eyes." He pressed a palm gently to Louis's exposed cheek and it felt unnaturally hot and sweaty. God, he was burning up! But before he could panic any further, Louis twitched and Harry sighed in relief. Jesus, he was going to kill his friend for this – kiss him first for being okay and then kill him for giving him an insanely scary fright. Louis twitched again and then suddenly arched and started to shake violently. Harry fell backwards in shock.  
"He's taking a seizure!" cried the first-aider, "everyone, step back and give him some room!"  
Harry was helpless to do anything but shuffle backwards and watch on in absolute horror as Louis contorted painfully and his lips slowly started to turn blue.

~*~

Thursday 06:03

"Good morning, this is the BBC breakfast news. I'm Sian Williams. David Cameron has signed an agreement with Barack Obama to remove all troops from Afghanistan by 2015. The move, although heavily criticised as being unrealistic by army chiefs, was instigated after UN officials condemned the lack of progress in outlining a military retreat agenda. Cameron and Obama are currently in talks as to the actual staging of the handover to Afghanistan authorities but many herald the agreement as a hasty reaction doomed to fail. More on this story later when MP Stuart Jenkins will join us in the studio."  
Sian changed camera as she moved onto the next story and plastered on her gravest expression – it wasn't hard. "Also in the news, Lewis Tomlinson, of the hugely successful boy band _One Direction_, was rushed to hospital last night after collapsing at the end of their concert at the LG Arena in Birmingham. A spokesman for the band released a statement, in the early hours, stating that Tomlinson's condition was critical but stable."  
The screen switched to show a clip of Mark making the announcement on the hospital steps, "As of now, doctors are still conducting tests to determine the cause of Louis' illness. We ask the fans to remain calm and not congregate around the hospital - as easy access is required for other patients. We will release updates on Louis's condition periodically on the band's official website. Thank you for your concern."

~*~  
Thursday 10.17am  
This Morning - with Holly and Phil

"Now," said Holly, her laugh fading, "I'm sure you've all heard the heart-breaking news about Louis Tomlinson - one of the lads from the hugely successful X-Factor boy-band, _One Direction_. Last night he was rushed to hospital after collapsing backstage at the LG Arena. Since then he has remained in a critical condition."  
"Yes," Phil nodded, "the poor lad. One Direction were actually scheduled to stop by our studio this morning for a chat but, under the circumstances, it is understandable why they have had to cancel. However, we received a phone call from them earlier to say they would be willing to talk to us for a few minutes live from the hospital."  
"Which is really decent of them considering the circumstances," said Holly.  
"Indeed," Phil agreed, "So we're going to link up to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham right now, where Harry, Liam, Niall and Zayn have been sitting with Louis all night in the ICU. Good morning boys."  
"Good morning," the boys murmured from where they sat in a private waiting room. Harry was curled up protectively under Liam's arm, shuddering and hiding his face into the older boy's arm, while Niall and Zayn sat quietly beside them, both looking shattered. "We appreciate you talking to us," said Phil soothingly. "You're obviously very upset and worried sick over Louis so, firstly, are there any updates as to his condition? Have the doctors made a diagnosis yet?"  
Liam was the one who spoke, his voice rough and he tightened his grip around Harry when the younger lad hid let out a small hitch. "We've actually just spoken to the doctor – I think our manager is updating our website as we speak. They're treating Louis for septicaemia as a complication of a major kidney infection."  
Holly and Phil gasped: Holly with a hand over her mouth and Phil shaking his head in anguish.  
"He's still in intensive care and will be for the next few days," Liam added, "there have been some touch and go moments… but the doctors now seem positive that he should respond well to treatment. They've started him on a course of antibiotics, oxygen therapy and fluids."  
"Has he regained consciousness at all?" Phil asked.  
"No," Zayn replied mulishly, "He's been unconscious since he collapsed."  
"And how are you all coping?" Holly asked kindly, "You look exhausted."  
"It's hard…" Niall replied before looking away, unable to continue. Liam touched his knee soothing and said,  
"It's hard to see Louis so sick. He's like a brother to us, the glue that holds us all together," he swallowed, "I don't think any of us have slept at all – I don't think any of us can until he wakes up. We've sort of camped out in his room… driving the nurses crazy."  
"It's wonderful that you're all there to support him," said Holly with a small smile, "it's obvious to see how much you've bonded since X-Factor. I take it you will be cancelling the rest of the Birmingham concert dates? Most people seem to be assuming that the weekend will definitely be cancelled."  
Liam, Niall and Zayn all looked at each other.  
"We haven't cancelled anything yet," Zayn replied slowly. "we don't want to let the fans down. Louis would hurt us if we did and he's got a very hard punch. But… obviously he won't be there and fans will have to wait a bit longer to hear his solo. But… the four of us will just try our best to make sure the fans still enjoy the show."  
"That's great," Holly replied, "and thank you for taking the time to talk to us. You are obviously very upset so we won't keep you from Louis's side any longer. All the best to your friend, we hope he has a speedy recovery."  
"Yeah, all the best boys," Phil echoed.  
As the link disappeared, Holly dabbed her eyes, "oh that was just heart-breaking. Did you see their little faces?"  
"Clearly devastated about their band mate," Phil nodded, "it's nice to see that they genuinely care about each other."  
Holly shook her head, "and poor Harry couldn't stop crying, bless him."

Wednesday morning – a week before his collapse

Louis awoke to the sound of Niall's alarm bleeping incessantly. It was the kind of ghastly sound that grated your ears and made your teeth rattle. Groaning, he blindly reached out for a pillow and lobbed it in his friend's direction. The muffled whine told him he had managed to make contact. "Switch it off!" He whined at his friend, burrowing his head under the covers to try to block out the insane noise.

It took a few long seconds but Niall eventually rolled out of bed and switched the alarm off. Louis sighed in relief at the blessed ensuing silence and closed his eyes. So… another day of craziness… woohoo! Mind you, there had yet to be a day since getting through to the live shows on X Factor that hadn't been utterly brilliant. However, that didn't mean he didn't still love his bed… He shifted to try to get a more comfortable position. The mattress was making his left side feel weird. The feeling didn't go away though and Louis sighed again, flopping onto his back. He absently rubbed the area just above his hip and mused over getting old. At 19 he was fast approaching the age of supposed maturity but surely he shouldn't be getting muscle aches this quickly? His side wasn't exactly sore but it felt… strange, kind of full and achy – like a stitch. It was probably just a side effect of the sore stomach he'd had these past few days – not that he'd told the boys about it. They had enough on their plates, what with these big concerts, without making them worry any further about a stupid little tummy upset. He hadn't even been physically sick… just had a niggling pain low in his abdomen and some rather unpleasant trips to the bathroom. It was easy to cover up so long as he remained calm and cheerful and as crazy as he normally appeared. Anyway, the pain had lessened somewhat with taking regular paracetamol. Talking of which…

He sat up and at once the world started to spin. Gasping, he shut his eyes and counted to ten before opening them again. The room didn't spin this time and he carefully lifted the covers and slid out of bed. Man, he must really be getting old if he was getting the dizzy sensation of sitting up too quickly. He was definitely not going to share that one with the boys – they'd never let him live it down.  
It was quite cold this morning; the hotel carpet felt rough under his bare feet and his bare arms sprung out in goosebumps as he crossed to the bathroom. Even though the dizzy spell was over, he still felt a little unsteady on his feet but he told himself firmly to get a grip as they had a lot of rehearsing to do today.  
He made a beeline straight for the sink and set about gathering up his shaving stuff. The door bounced open again and Harry stumbled in, eyes still half shut. He hip-checked Louis at the sink as he reached for his toothbrush, making Louis laugh.  
"Morning curly."  
"Nuh…" Harry met his eyes in the mirror and Louis winked at him. Harry slowly grinned and then elbowed him teasingly, "hey… what you shaving for? You have like nothing growing."

"Don't be spreading your jealousy over me," Louis retorted, running his fingers under his own chin with a very quiet rasp – yeah, he was no Robbie Coltrane yet but at least he had something. "Just because you haven't got a manly hair yet..."  
Harry took in a deep wounded breath and then flicked him hard on the forehead. Louis chuckled and retaliated by spraying foam on Harry's cheek. That was it; it was on – a fight to the death. Harry got him in a headlock while Louis pushed them both against the wall as they tussled for the upper-hand.

"What are you two giggling about so early?" asked Niall grouchily, as he stomped into the bathroom with a towel. He stared at them, still tussling in play fight, "Man, you guys are touched in the head."  
"Aww," Harry cooed, practically strangling Louis with the arm around his neck, "did ickle Niall get up on the wrong side today?"  
"I don't know what's more unsettling. The fact that you can be so cheerful in the morning or the fact that you're grabbing each other when you've both only got boxers on."  
"Well, I could tell you about the dream I had-" Louis started, grinning manically but Niall cut him off with a wave of his hand.  
"Please don't. I need coffee before that over-share."

~*~

Wednesday Night (post collapse) 10:16 pm

The automatic doors whooshed open and the paramedics sped the trolley through to the awaiting team of doctors and nurses. The front paramedic passed over the clipboard to the nearest doctor in blue scrubs and announced as they walked,  
"We have a 19 year old white male showing symptoms of medical and septic shock. Blood pressure is 80/50 and falling, respiratory rate 8/60 and slowing, body temperature 36.1 and decreasing rapidly. Although, he has no history of epilepsy, the patient suffered a seizure on-site lasting approximately two minutes and then again during transit, lasting 3.5 minutes. The patient has also sustained a minor head trauma from falling 3 feet off a platform but due to his unconscious state we cannot ascertain any symptoms of a spinal injury. The fall does not seem to be the cause of the patient's condition either. Eyewitnesses claim he passed out first and fell off the platform as a result."  
"Blood pressure is dipping," one of the nurses announced, as the heart monitor she'd just attached started to beep, "down to 30 beats a minute… 25… 20…"  
"Patient's going into cardiac arrest," the doctor announced loudly to her team, "prepare a vasopressor and the defibrillator."  
"Down to 15… 10…" the nurse advised.  
The heart monitor's alarm started to ring and the doctor lifted up the paddles, "Push 1 mg of Epinephrine and charge to 200 joules please." The nurses scrambled to do so. The doctor placed the paddles on the boy's chest, "Clear!" Everyone stepped back and she discharged the shock. The boy's back lifted off the bed and the alarm evened out.  
"Rhythm is back up to 60 beats a minute," said the nurse after a moment.  
"Okay, let's get this patient to the trauma room. I want blood cultures taken for immediate examination and a full biochemical analysis. Schedule an emergency MRI once we have the patient stable…"

~*~

Saturday – 4 days before collapse

"Liam, you're still missing the beat on the second verse. Remember the bar runs twice before your cue," Ron shouted from the stand.  
Liam frowned and tapped the rhythm out against his leg, trying to get it right. Ron turned to Louis, "And Louis, you're going to have to walk faster, you're four paces behind the others."  
Louis nodded but grimaced inside. The weird feeling he'd awoken with on Wednesday had slowly morphed into a dull throbbing pain – that got worse whenever he walked or moved too sharply. Obviously, he'd pulled a muscle at some point but there was little he could do about it. The show must go on as the saying went.  
He still wasn't feeling all that well either and the cold air of the arena had him shivering under his hoody.  
Liam turned to him and Louis could see the stress etched all over his friend's face, "You okay?" Liam asked.  
"I'm fine," Louis shrugged; no sense in adding to the pressure when there was little anyone could actually do to help him. Time and rest and maybe some ice were all he needed – and maybe a few more hours sleep and some vitamins.

Only he didn't get the time to rest and by Monday's rehearsal he was in such agony that he could barely walk let alone walk in way as to avoid suspicion. The throbbing pain from his side was also starting to make him feel sick so he took a cocktail of Ibuprofen and Paracetamol before taking to the stage – just so he could concentrate on singing rather than trying not to throw-up mid verse. He rationalised that once their big gig on Wednesday at the LG Arena was over, if he were still in pain then he would see a doctor. That way he could take Thursday and Friday as rest days before the smaller gigs on the weekend. Nobody would stress so much about that. All he had to do was put up with the pain until Thursday morning and then, if need be, he could get some proper pain killers.  
Unfortunately, that didn't help him right now. As the music started he began to walk forward towards his mark. The pain in his side increased until it was pulsating sickeningly and, combined with the dodgy feeling in his stomach from taking Ibuprofen without food, he had to put a hand to his mouth to stop himself being violently sick. Unlucky for him, Ron had seen.  
"Stop!" Ron called out and the music shut off. The others stopped mid-step in surprise, half a note hanging in the air. Ron jogged over and made an impressive jump up onto the stage. "Louis? Are you alright? What's wrong son?" He asked as he made his way over.  
The urge to throw-up had passed now that he was standing still but the pain remained. He could see Harry and the others making their way over out the corner of his eye and he pasted on his bravest smile – hoping he could charm the director away before the boys heard.  
"Sorry, it's nothing really," he apologised, "I'm okay. Honestly."  
"Doesn't look like nothing, son," Ron replied, "you're chalk white. Come on, sit down."  
Louis had no choice but to follow where Ron guided him and he sat down on the stage's band platform with internal relief.  
"What's wrong?" Harry asked as he approached.  
"Just finding out," Ron replied over his shoulder, "are you feeling sick Louis?"  
Harry reached Ron's side and his face morphed into genuine concern as he pressed a hand to Louis' cheek, "Are you ill LouLou?"  
Louis had a choice here; he could tell the truth about how much pain he was in and create a nightmare of panic and fuss or… he could brush it off as something a lot more trivial. One look into Harry's worried eyes and Liam's anxious face he knew he had to go with the latter – this was what being part of team was all about. Not letting the side down when they needed him.  
"I just pulled a muscle in my side and it's a little sore when I walk," he replied.  
Harry stepped back and crossed his arms, staring him down, his green eyes boring right into his own blue ones. Louis felt his cheeks heat up under the scrutiny. "Just how sore?" Harry asked evenly, "and don't lie." Louis had discovered it was hard to lie to Harry anyway. It was probably those curls – they judged him.  
"Um… quite sore but," he winced as the others groaned, "I'm okay, I just need to let the painkillers kick in."  
"Painkillers?" Ron asked sharply.  
"Just some Ibuprofen."  
Ron crossed his arms too, "When did this start? Was it on Saturday, when you were running behind the others?"  
"Uh…" he winced again, "yeah."  
"Jesus Christ Tomlinson! Why didn't you tell us?" Ron roared.  
"It's only a pulled muscle!" Louis protested, "I'm fine. It just hurts when I dance and it's already better than it was on Saturday!" He jumped defiantly to his feet, somehow able to prevent himself passing-out at the sickening feeling the movement sent to his stomach. "Don't make a mountain out a molehill. Let's stop wasting time and get back to rehearsing – I can handle a little pain."  
"But Louis, how are you going to-" Liam started but Louis cut across him, rather more sharply than he was expecting.  
"Why don't you worry about yourself Liam and those second verse timings. Leave me to worry about myself."  
There was a stunned moment as everyone stared at him in surprise. Yeah, maybe that had been rather harsh and out of character for him but he didn't want them to worry.  
"Okay," Ron said slowly after a few awkward moments, "Uh… let's take it from the beginning, yeah?"

~*~

Wednesday Night 11.29pm

The moment Bill slowed down in the hospital car park all four of them unlatched their seatbelts and jumped out – even though the car was still moving.  
"Boys!" Bill yelled, swearing, "Don't…" but it was pointless. He hit the brakes and Mark jumped out the passenger seat, following them at a run. As worried as they were about their friend, it was dangerous for them to be without a bodyguard in public. Harry and Niall raced into the Emergency Department, followed closely by Liam and Zayn. They skidded to a halt at the reception desk, panting hard, "Louis Tomlinson!" Harry shouted, "where is he?"  
The woman blinked at him, not amused by his tone but Harry didn't care and he growled again, "where is he!"  
"Boys!" Julie called out from the stairwell. They all whipped around and ran over to her.  
"What's going on?" "Is he okay?" "What happened?" "Is he going to be alright?" "What did the doctor say?" "Can we see him?" They asked all at once.  
Julie held her hands up, "Calm down. Look, they're trying to stabilise him at the moment. A doctor will talk to us in a few minutes when they're ready. Come on up to the ICU and wait with me."  
Harry felt the blood drain from his face in horror, "He's in the _ICU_?" That was bad – that was _beyond_ bad. People _died_ in the ICU – his cousin had died in the ICU!  
"Yeah honey," Julie nodded, with a soft sympathetic smile, "he's in intensive care."  
Harry felt his legs give out.  
"Whoa," Liam cried in alarm, catching him under the arms and holding him up, "steady Harry. It's alright – _he'll_ be alright."

The waiting room of the ICU was a modern bright space that wouldn't look out of place in a cyber cafe. Except it smelled like a hospital and had the feel of a funeral parlour. Harry hated it on sight. Unlike the others, he did not take a seat on the plush chairs but, instead, paced up and down on the fake wooden floor. He felt sick. And scared – so scared he was trembling uncontrollably. Louis couldn't die – he couldn't. Harry would never get over it. He couldn't live without Louis now… the guy was like a part of him… Louis and his ADHD tendencies… his easy laughter and endless positivity. They were brothers, a team, partners in crime… Louis and his silly hats and his effortless, amazingly warm hugs, his silly voices and very gay dress sense.  
He didn't know he was crying until Niall suddenly wrapped his arms around him and tucked him into his shoulder. Sobbing, Harry gripped his friend tight and whispered a prayer to any God not to take his friend away.

It was half an hour before a doctor came to talk to them. The moment she approached the four boys swarmed around her, asking questions in rapid fire. Julie had to whistle loudly to get them to be quiet so the doctor could actually speak.  
"Hello," said the woman calmly, "I'm Dr Howard." She then looked at Julie. "You're Julie Somerville?" Julie nodded and the doctor checked her clipboard, "I've been made aware that you have authority over Louis' welfare in his parents' absence?"  
"Yes," she nodded, "His parents are on their way but it'll take them a few hours to get here. What's the situation?"  
The doctor pursed her lips and Harry held his breath, gripping Niall's wrist painfully hard. "We're still in the process of running tests at the moment but our initial treatment is for septic shock."  
"_Septicaemia_?" Julie gasped.  
"Yes." The doctor nodded, gravely. "He is displaying all the symptoms of severe sepsis." She chewed her lip for a moment, almost like she was psyching herself up, "I have to warn you that this is extremely serious. Louis is very sick and not responding well to our treatments so far. What we really need to find out is the cause of the sepsis. Any information you can give us could help us pinpoint the origin of infection."  
Harry's heart was pounding in his throat and he had to sit down. He had heard of septicaemia – it was something you could get from meningitis and meningitis could kill… very quickly.  
"Tell me," said the doctor, "has Louis been complaining of feeling ill recently?"  
Julie looked at the boys and Liam nodded, "Not so much ill but… he pulled a muscle in his side during rehearsal last week and it's been causing him a lot of pain."  
"Which side?" asked the doctor sharply – a little too sharply, making them all start.  
"His left," Liam stuttered.  
"And has he been acting differently? Has he been sick or had diarrhoea?"  
"Um…" Harry thought hard, "he's been really tired but we've had a very busy schedule recently. As for being sick? I'm not sure."  
"He has been going to the toilet a lot recently," Niall piped up with a sure nod.  
And now that Harry thought about it, Louis _had_ been going to the toilet more. He remembered breakfast that morning and Louis's quick exit and the numerous times during rehearsal and then his quick exit from the make-up room earlier before the show. Louis had said it was just nerves. Maybe he _had_ been sick and just hadn't said anything for whatever stupid reason Louis always seemed to have in his thick head. That made Harry feel instantly guilty – he should have noticed anyway. Louis was his best friend and, even if Louis hadn't said anything, Harry should still have been able to tell that his friend was sick. "He hasn't been eating much recently either," he added aloud, realising it was true as he said it. Sure, the breakfast this morning hadn't been particularly appetising but, thinking about it, it wasn't the only meal Louis hadn't eaten. He'd barely eaten half his burger the night before, threw half of his sandwich away at lunch and nibbled one slice of toast for breakfast the previous morning. Seriously, how had Harry failed to notice this? God, he wanted to beat himself up good and proper for being so stupid.  
"What about his mood?" Dr Howard asked, looking around at them all.  
"Well, like I said," replied Harry coolly, "he's been tired. Normally he's bouncing all over the place but he's been very quiet these last few days. We just thought the exhaustion had finally caught up with him."  
The doctor nodded. "Okay, and, just to clarify, Louis has an allergy to Penicillin?"  
"Yes," Julie confirmed.  
"Right, well that's been very helpful. As soon as we know more we'll come and talk to you."  
"Thanks doctor," Julie said with a sigh.  
The wait for more news was even worse than the final of the X-Factor. Harry couldn't stop shaking. He felt utterly, utterly sick – his head imaging all kinds of horrible stuff. After the doctor had left, Liam came and sat down next to him, hugging him close. Niall sat down on Liam's other side, joining in the hug, and Zayn sat down on Harry's other side.  
At least he had the others there, Harry thought dully, but… it still wasn't the same without Louis to clown around with.

~*~

Thursday Morning – 1.39 am

It felt like an eternity before Dr Howard returned. Harry fidgeted through her technical diagnosis, which actually relayed as 'they were still performing tests'. But she finished with the news he'd been waiting for. "You can see him for a few minutes." Harry was on his feet and out the door before she had finished the last syllable.

Room 317; that was where Louis was. Harry frantically checked the door numbers, his heart beating faster and faster as they got closer. 314… 315… 316… 317. Harry stopped and stared through the class. It was like something off TV. A stark hospital bed surrounded by machines and wires. Not caring that tears were leaking down his cheeks, he pushed the door open and stepped inside. The nurse attending looked up and gave them an encouraging smile before pressing a button on one of the machines and bypassing them out the door.  
As Harry timidly approached the bed and finally saw his best friend, he put a hand to his mouth and choked. He looked like a china doll.  
Later, when he was able to reflect on it without ending up a complete mess, seeing Louis like that was just… surreal. He was technically the oldest of the five of them and yet he was the smallest, the slightest, the most energetic and the most youthful looking. Most of time Harry never noticed the difference in height or age because Louis was such a physical being - his personality seemed to make him a lot bigger, stronger and taller than he actually was. Lying in that bed, hooked up to those scary machines, pale, unconscious and so damned fragile, Louis looked like a ten-year old. There was a soft beeping noise from the heart monitor and a steady whoosh from the respirator but other than that the room was deathly quiet. The silence freaked Harry out as much as the sight of his friend on life support did. Louis was never this quiet – not even in sleep. He walked right up to the bed and looked down at Louis's sleeping face. How had Harry never released how delicate Louis's features were? His eyelashes were so long, his lips so feminine and… were those freckles dotted on his nose? Harry gaze swept downwards to the nearest hand resting on the covers. How come he had never noticed how slim and feminine Louis' hands were before either? Mindful of the IV line going into the back of his friend's hand, Harry gently took Louis' hand in his and squeezed. How did his friend get to be so breakable?  
"Louis?" he whispered. Louis didn't so much as twitch – which had never, ever happened before, _ever_. Louis always reacted whenever Harry talked to him.  
Harry shuddered and closed his eyes as Liam wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulder in comfort. Harry could feel Liam's tears dripping onto his neck and he used his free hand to reach up and hold the back of his friend's head, gripping his hair. Zayn and Niall took Louis's other hand and for a moment they all stood there, just watching.  
"Why didn't you tell us… why didn't you tell _me_," Harry heard whispered in his ear and realised Liam was muttering under his breath.  
"Why did you have to be so stupid and pigheaded," Harry added, aloud and angry. Niall and Zayn looked up. "We better start making funeral arrangements because if he actually gets better then I'm going to kill him for putting us through this!"  
"_Harry_!" The three other boys protested, aghast. But their admonishments were suddenly punctuated by a loud beep. It echoed around the room. They all stood up straight, looking around in apprehension. Zayn looked to Liam, "What's going on?" Then an alarm started to ring. The heart rate monitor began flashing and Harry stared at it in absolute horror. No. No! NO!  
"Don't you fucking dare," he cried, reaching forward and grabbing Louis's hand.  
"Harry," Liam yelled, trying to pull him away.  
"NO!" Harry screamed, practically shaking his unconscious friend's arm like a rag doll, "Don't you FUCKING DARE TOMLINSON! Don't you DARE! I'm telling you, don't you fucking do this!"  
"Harry!"  
Suddenly they were being forcefully pushed backwards by some adults as a group of doctors and nurses rushed around Louis' bed. Harry fought against the man who was pushing back towards the door, "NO! LOUIS! Don't! LOUIS, don't," he felt strong arms grip him around the waist and drag him backwards. He kicked and yelled, trying to get free.  
"Harry!" Liam yelled in his ear. "We've got to get out the way!"  
"No! _Louis_…" he fell backwards through the doorway, Liam only just managing to keep him upright. Harry stopped fighting and stared at the bed. The nurses were talking and unrolling wires. Harry's vision blurred, "don't you dare fucking leave me…" he whispered and then broke down in Liam's arms.

Through the window, a nurse started to administer medication into the IV line. Another nurse was pulling the shirt off Louis's chest as the doctor in blue scrubs placed two paddles on the milky white of his bare skin. "Charging to 200! Ready! Clear!" The popping sound was accompanied by a sickened crunch as Louis's back arched off the bed. But the alarm kept ringing. The doctor ordered another shot of adrenaline. "Charging! Clear!" Louis's back arched again. But the alarm still kept ringing. "Charging! Clear!" The alarm stopped and the rhythmic beeping noise returned. Harry and Liam sank shakily to the ground. _Jesus Christ_

0th October 2010

Liam nervously knocked on the door and fidgeted as he waited to be beckoned inside.  
"Come in," the familiar deep voice called out.  
Taking a deep breath, Liam pushed the door open and stepped into the plush Syco office. Simon was sitting behind his desk with his slim silver spectacles perched low on his nose. He looked up from his desk as Liam entered and offered him a half-smile, "Ah Liam, fantastic… come and take a seat," he indicated the chairs in front of his desk.  
Liam shut the door and then crossed over the soft beige carpet to take a seat in one of the black leather chairs in front of his mentor.  
"You wanted to talk to me?" He asked in way of greeting.  
"Yes," Simon replied, his eyes scanning Liam up and down - seemingly trying to measure him against something only his head knew. Liam fought not to squirm under the scrutiny. He was a little anxious of what this meeting could be about and the fact that the others had not been invited too… that meant this meeting was about _him_ and not the band as a whole… and that was… well… unsettling.

"How are getting on with your band mates?" Simon asked after a moment.  
"Great," he replied instantly, "they're _great_ guys."  
"Indeed," Simon nodded, "and the house arrangements?"  
Liam hesitated, "Well… it's a little tight for space in our room and the others are quite messy… but it's… fun?"  
"Mmmhmm…" Simon stared at him unblinkingly and Liam found himself getting very uncomfortable indeed. Just when the sweat was starting to break out on his neck, Simon looked away. "Right, the reason I want to talk to you Liam is that I am concerned with the roles you've set yourselves within the group. I think One Direction has the potential to be the next big boy-band – I really do."  
Liam flushed with pleasure but didn't say anything. It sounded like a 'but' was coming.  
"_But_," said Simon, "in order to do so, you have to prove yourselves and not just by singing. You have to act accordingly in public and not be carried away by the hype that will, in no doubt, come your way. I need someone within the band to keep the others focused and out of trouble. Quite frankly, you seem to be the calmest and most level-headed of the bunch so I am appealing to you for this roll."

"Um…"  
"I'm not asking for much Liam, don't panic," Simon added quickly, seeing the hesitancy on the 17-year-old's face. "All I want is for you to keep an eye on the other boys; advise them if something they're doing is inappropriate and remind them occasionally of what is at stake – basically be a big brother to them." He waved his hands in emphasis. "I can't be around all the time, as you know, so if there's someone in the band watching over things – that would… well… it be a load off _my_ mind, certainly." He stood up and walked around the desk, perching himself on it in front of Liam and taking off his glasses. "I've been in this business a long time, Liam. I know what goes on behind the scenes - all the good and the bad and the ugly. I have learned what to look out for, how to spot potential problems and I am not afraid to be blunt with certain issues. Sometimes being blunt in necessary in order to give a singer or a band the best chance at success. You're young, you're all going to make mistakes and you're going to face a lot of ups and downs along the path of your music career. Fame can do strange things to people and not everyone can cope with it."  
"I understand," Liam nodded.

Simon's eyes flashed with interest and he leaned forward, "Do you Liam? Do you really? Okay, let's see then. What potential problems do you perceive in let's say… your band mate Zayn?"  
Liam blinked, Zayn? Liam didn't have any problems with Zayn, not at all. Zayn was the one he got on the best with. But Simon was obviously looking for something specific so what problems could Zayn possibly be facing? What problems could Liam suggest that would not make it seem like he was dissing his friend. The guy could be shy in front of a large crowd and he was quite self-conscious when dancing, he supposed. He said as much to Simon who pursed his lips, "Perhaps… anything else?" Liam frowned and Simon jumped on the pause, "For example, I, _myself_, am rather concerned with Zayn's attitude to female attention. I fear he could easily be misled by the fans… if you get my _drift_."  
Liam flushed, yeah – he got Simon's drift alright. He kind of thought the same thing too, if he was honest. "Yeah…" he replied, looking at the floor, he couldn't look at Simon while having this conversation. It was embarrassing – like talking to your Dad about sex and protection. "Um… so… uh… what would you like me to do about it?"  
Simon pursed his lips again before saying, "just give him a gentle nudge if you think his antics are getting out of hand… or disrespectful. Or tell me and I will talk to him."  
"Okay," Liam replied dubiously, managing to look up at his mentor again. He didn't think Zayn would take _his_ interfering with girls very well at all. Guess he had to try though. "What about the others," he then asked, "Is it the same thing?"  
"Not quite… Look," Simon cocked his head to the side and stared at the young singer, "would you like me to outline my concerns first?"  
"Yeah," Liam nodded, "that might be a good idea." He really didn't want to play anymore guessing games.

"Fine." Simon stood up, "Every one of you has a least one fault that could potentially put the band in jeopardy. Zayn's is his attitude to fame. Niall's is his passive personality – a danger because there's only so much bottling-up a person can do before they explode. _You_ could be a liability because of your long held desire to be soloist. That is something you're going to have to fight against. You have to remember that you're in a band and everyone is equal and therefore should have equal choice with the songs and decisions."

Liam could do nothing but nod. He knew it. He knew this was a potential flaw of his in terms of One Direction's success.  
"Harry," Simon continued, "is probably my biggest concern because he is too easily influenced and led. People like Harry, I hate to say, are more liable to be impulsive, rebellious and easily addicted in my experience. You have, in no doubt, seen what money and fame have done to the likes of Pete Doherty, Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehouse."  
Liam swallowed hard; Simon's words were harsh but… he could see where his mentor was coming from. Harry was a cheeky lad and very impulsive. He would try anything for a laugh and sometimes didn't know where the line was or deliberately crossed it just to get a reaction.

"What about Louis?" He asked roughly.  
Simon sniffed, "Louis worries me the least because, if need be, I have good experience in dealing with sexuality issues."  
Liam choked and stared up at his mentor is disbelief and shock, "Sexuality issues… you think Louis is _gay_? But he has a girlfriend!"  
"I am aware of that," Simon nodded, not looking phased in the slightest.  
Liam shook his head vehemently, "Louis _can't_ be gay."  
Simon raised an eyebrow in that infuriatingly calm way he had honed to perfection, "and why is that?"  
"Because… because," Liam actually struggled to think of an answer and blurted out, "he's dated lots of girls and… he has a _girlfriend_," he emphasised again.  
"Joe McElderry had girlfriends before he came out earlier this year," Simon replied with a shrug.  
"Yeah but…" Liam couldn't even find the words to argue. It was ridiculous. Louis couldn't be gay! He couldn't. Could he?  
Okay, Liam thought, so maybe Louis's clothing style, with all those cardigans and scarves, was a little uh… _feminine_ but lots of guys shared that fashion sense and weren't gay. Right? And yes, Louis was rather touchy-feely but he'd grown up with four younger sisters so he'd be used to sharing hugs and showing affection. The fact that he was doing it with boys as well as girls just showed that he was a friendly guy. That was his personality! And okay, maybe sometimes Louis's voice could take on a slightly camp edge when he got over-excited but… no, that was just applying media-borne clichés, which was unfair. Louis had a girlfriend; he liked _girls_. Full stop.

"I am intrigued you're so caught up on the gay issue," Simon suddenly said with a glint of amusement, "when a minute ago I practically suggested Harry could end up a drug addict. It's interesting which matter you zeroed in on, especially when I said 'if need be' in relation to Louis's sexuality. Anything you want to tell me Liam?"  
Liam swallowed thickly, "No." _Definetely not_.

~*~

Thursday 4:52 am

As he rubbed Niall's back soothingly, Liam felt a crushing weight of guilt settle in his stomach. He had failed them. He had failed them all in the worst way; because he had known what to look for. Time and stress had made him careless in his job. He had taken on the role of guardian of the band – not so willingly at the start but determinedly by the final of X Factor. He wanted to be the big brother because he loved his band mates. It was therefore his _willing_ duty to ensure he did the best job he could at being the big brother and, in the end; he had slacked off the job. This was the consequence: Louis lying there on life-support, effectively in a coma. Harry; sitting beside the bed, head resting against Louis's shoulder and playing the elder boy's limp hand like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. Niall; lost and devastated and unable to stop crying. Zayn; moody and angry and refusing to look at anyone or say anything. Louis's parents… he closed his eyes. He couldn't look at them… he couldn't stand to see the grief in their eyes, especially when he could have prevented it if he had been paying attention.

For the first few weeks of the live shows, he had mulled over Simon's words and studied his band mates very carefully – trying to see if his mentor's analysis was correct. At first, he could actually see what Simon was getting at – for all of them – but then the more time he spent with the boys the more he started making his own in-depth analysis. Simon had made those points when he hardly knew the five of them. He was going by what he could see at face value and what experiences he had had in the past. What Liam saw as the band's biggest flaws, he realised, were much deeper than those Simon had proposed and less trashy-headline. When he'd put his thoughts to Simon during week 8, he was surprised to see a proud smile cross his mentor's face.

Zayn was really insecure. That was the first thing Liam picked up on – mainly because he spent more time with Zayn than with the others. Sure, Zayn knew he was hot and, yeah, he enjoyed the attention from the girls – maybe too much sometimes but that was more of a domino reaction from his insecurity. He wasn't self-doubting about being idolised; he was insecure about being _respected_. He was also stage shy and to his surprise Liam found he could actually find ways of helping Zayn out with both problems without his friend realising or creating a fuss.

Simon was right about Niall too, spot on virtually, and Liam made sure that everyone made an extra effort to spend quality one-on-one time with the Irish lad – so much so that their initial pairings seemed to die back – well, at least when it came to Zayn and himself. Harry and Louis were a completely different case altogether though. As the weeks went on, Liam found himself almost enraptured by the relationship between the two boys. He also came to the conclusion that Simon was wrong about Harry being most worrying of the band. Louis was and Simon had been much intrigued when Liam had told him so. Louis, it turned out, had a major flaw, which became apparent around about week 5. He had an inferiority complex but at the same time harboured an almost pathological need not to appear vulnerable in any way. This meant that if there were something he thought would upset the band in any way then he would deal with himself without telling anyone. In a way it was similar to a martyr complex except Louis wasn't trying to be martyr – he hated people making a fuss over him. He hated being vulnerable even though he was, in fact, actually very fragile – in more ways than one. And _that_, right there, was why Simon had questioned his sexuality. It wasn't so much gayness but a vulnerable streak the length of the Thames.

What made Louis even more of a liability was the hold he had over Harry. Harry was simply fascinated by his slightly older band mate. He used the word 'fascinated' because it was the only word that made sense. Louis also brought out a side in Harry which Liam had never expected. Responsibility. Which; was an absurd thing to say when you considered some of the pranks the two got up to together. It was true though; Louis made Harry responsible - but in a more emotive way than simple maturity. He made Harry _care_. Therefore Louis was the key to keeping Harry on track and… therein lay the problem. Louis held that inordinate power and yet he was the most vulnerable of the group. Without Louis, Harry would crash and burn and become everything Simon predicted. Without Harry, the rest of them had no hope, no hope whatsoever; therefore Louis was the biggest concern.

Liam had known all this, he'd had the foresight and, because he ignored the warning signs, this scene of devastation had happened. It was his fault.

~*~

Tuesday, the day before his collapse

Louis knew by lunchtime he didn't just have a pulled muscle; he was ill as well. He'd woken up that morning feeling he was suffering from the worst bout of flu ever and his pulled muscle burned hotly in coalition. But, he had a job to do (as was drummed into them from the beginning of X Factor – sometimes you had to perform when you're sick) so he pulled himself shakily from his bed.

The toast he'd nibbled at breakfast sat heavily in his stomach and he spent the entire car journey to the arena swallowing hard to try and keep it down. He managed until they reached the changing rooms. Then the spasms in his stomach became too much and, after making light excuses, he unsteadily found the toilets, locked himself in one of the stalls, dropped to his knees and was copiously sick.

Louis had never handled being sick very well and to do it when his mum wasn't around (to offer comfort and reassurance) made him all the more upset. He kneeled on the floor, hovering over the bowl, shaking and crying quietly until the toilet doors opened and loud chatting voices broke the quiet. Instantly alarmed at the thought of being caught, Louis sniffed and wiped the tears from his face and stood up. He flushed the toilet and straightened his clothes before opening the stall door. There were two backstage crew members relieving themselves in the urinals. They gave him a smile of recognition before continuing their cheerful conversation. Louis washed his hands and left quickly. Feeling incredibly unsteady and weak, he knew he really had to tell Ron so he went to find his manager.

Ron was having a meltdown inside the sound booth. "What do you mean it's jammed?"  
The poor sound technician he was shouting at winced, "It happened about an hour ago, we've tried fixing it but the runner is damaged."  
"Don't you have a spare?" Ron replied, a warning clear in his voice.  
"Uh…" the guy looked nervous now, "we leant it to Dublin last week. But there are a couple of people I can try…"  
"Do it, please, and… I swear… if _one_ more thing goes wrong before the concert tomorrow night I'm going to…" Louis grimaced at the harsh language that followed. Well that was that then. He was just going to have to suck it up. He couldn't make things harder for everyone – the boys were stressed enough and Ron looked ready to have a coronary. Just as he was about to try to sneak away, Ron looked up and spotted him in the doorway, "Louis! What can I do for you?"  
"Um…" Louis cringed, "sorry, nothing. It's okay."  
He walked away as quickly as he could manage, feeling tears stinging his eyes at the pain in his side, he could manage until after the concert tomorrow night – he _had_ to.

~*~

Thursday (post collapse) 10:36 pm

"Harry? Love?" Mrs Tomlinson gently shook the youngest lad's shoulder. Harry blinked and opened his eyes. At once he sat up, flooded with panic but then, as the rhythmic beeping seeped into his ears, he relaxed. Louis was still lying there, quiet and unmoving but alive. Harry stared up at the older woman, who gave him a kind smile and palmed his cheek, "Honey, go back to the hotel for some rest."  
"No," he shook his head, he was not letting Louis out of his sight. No way.

"You can come back first thing in the morning," Mrs Tomlinson added soothingly.

"No, I'm staying here," said Harry firmly, clutching Louis's limp hand firmly as if Mrs Tomlinson was going to start dragging him away.

"Harry," Liam started but Harry shook his head.  
"No. I am _not_ leaving." He turned around and determinedly ignored everyone – giving all his attention to his sleeping friend.  
Liam sighed and looked around at the others helplessly. "We can't _all_ stay."  
Mr Tomlinson stepped forward, "I'll stay with the both of them. You all go and get some rest. If there's any change I'll call you immediately."  
Harry had stopped listening after his refusal to leave but he did note everyone else packing up around him. When the door closed quietly, he felt a hand grip his shoulder. He glanced up at the senior Tomlinson and then, slightly embarrassed, he stared back down at where his hand was gripping Louis's so hard. However, he couldn't find the strength to break the connection.  
"Do you know, when he was born," Mr Tomlinson rumbled quietly, "he was one of the tiniest babies ever? He was even smaller than either of the twins and he hardly ever cried."

Harry glanced back up at Louis's dad but the older man was now staring at the far away wall. "He was the nurse's favourite on the ward – everyone wanted to hold him." Harry smiled, he could imagine that.

"By the time he was two, he was into everything and I mean _everything_. He used to dress up in my clothes and dance to the Blues Brothers in the kitchen with his mum's sunglasses on. He was so excitable and funny... We had a queue outside the door of people offering to baby sit… Sometimes I was concerned he didn't take things seriously enough but after his sisters were born, he took his role of big brother very seriously indeed. He absolutely doted on them. That, in turn, concerned me too. With his mum and four sisters around, I was the only male influence he had. I admit I was quite hard on him – I wanted him to succeed in school, be the ideal son – sporty and smart. I can't say I was pleased when he joined the school theatre group… My wife was over the moon but, call me old fashioned, I was afraid acting would soften my lad. His grades were already average in class and he wanted to stop playing for his football team… For a while we didn't get on – every conversation ending in an argument." Mr Tomlinson swallowed thickly, "In turn it affected my relationship with my wife. She felt I was being too harsh on Louis – trying to mould him in my perfect image rather than enjoy him for what he was. So I went to his school play and he was… fantastic and I realised my wife was right. I had been trying to mould my son into this perfect image. I went to find him backstage and he was surprised to see I was there. That made me feel ashamed in a way I've never felt in my life so I told him I was very proud of him and that I loved him… and he looked up with me… with tears in his eyes and said he loved me too. He forgave me so quickly and easily and in that moment I realised that my son was perfect just the way he was. He was caring, colourful, quirky, talented and, most importantly, he had a heart of gold. What more could a parent ask for?"

Nothing, Harry thought, as several tears slowly rolled silently down his cheeks and splashed onto the warmth of Louis's forearm, absolutely nothing.

Sunday 2:41pm (four days after Louis's collapse)  
Radio 1 with Matt Edmondson

**Matt**: … coincidentally Kate and I went to see One Direction playing at 'Stream Wave' last night.  
**Olli** (**Murs**): I was surprised they didn't cancel considering the circumstances. How was it, the poor lads?  
**Matt**: It was good but they were clearly struggling without Louis and, to give the guy his due, you could really hear his voice missing from the harmonies. I know he's been accused, in the past, for not being a good singer and for miming but I can vouch, personally, that it isn't true. He gives the vocals that little bit of extra meat the band needs…  
**Olli**: I've been saying that from the start  
**Matt**: Last night the four of them looked so sad and I just wanted to go up and give them all a big hug – especially Harry. I don't think his heart was really in it.  
**Olli**: Harry and Louis are really close, like the _best of best friends_, so he's got to be devastated. From what I heard, he's been at the hospital practically 24/7. I bet they had to prise him away to get him to the club. Incidentally, did they give you any news, last night, on Louis's condition? I checked out their website yesterday but there hadn't been an update.  
**Matt**: I got the chance to speak to one of their team after the show and she said Louis was still in a medicated coma. Supposedly, it's been touch and go but the antibiotics finally do seem to be taking a hold. They think he'll be released from the coma sometime tomorrow.  
**Olli**: One Direction, if you're listening, ours hearts are with you lads as are our thoughts. We wish Louis the speediest of recoveries and if you need anything, don't hesitate to give me a call.

~*~

Monday 10:27 am  
Room 317

"So you just give him that drug and he should come out of the coma?" Liam asked, somewhat in awe.  
"Well, it will counteract the one we've been giving him to keep him unconscious but when he'll actually wake up is down to Louis. Please bear in mind he was unconscious when we administered the medicated coma so don't be alarmed if it's a few more days before he comes to." The doctor pressed the sharp metal of the syringe into the foil lid of the bottle and started to draw the clear liquid.  
"But he _will_," Harry asked, nervously wringing his hands, "he will _wake_ up?"  
"At the moment we cannot see any reason why he might remain in this condition for any longer than a week. As long as his condition does not deteriorate then the prognosis is good."  
Zayn crossed his arms, he hated it when people dressed up words. Basically, the doctor meant that the odds were good on Louis waking up but there was still a tiny chance that he might not.  
They all watched with baited breath as the doctor inserted the needle into Louis's IV and pressed the plunger. She then stepped back and slipped a cap over the sharp metal before placing it in a special disposal box.  
"That's it?" Niall asked, as they all stared down into Louis's face, hoping to see an instant reaction. There was none. Louis didn't seem to register the injection in any way.  
"That's it," the doctor nodded, "now we just have to wait."

~*~

Liam sighed when he glanced up from his cards and saw Harry was just staring off into space again. He was getting more and more worried about the kid the longer Louis stayed unconscious. Harry had always tended to be emotional volatile and Liam guessed it came part of being the youngest kid in the family. He knew, himself, that, as the youngest in his family, he was often plagued by angsty moods. He was sure it was that 'younger sibling syndrome' as most people he knew seemed to play similar roles to the clichéd expectations of their birth order.

Over the past week, Harry had gone from frantic and vocal to quiet and subdued. As long as he had known him, Harry had never really done quiet and subdued before so Liam wasn't quite sure how to handle it. He didn't want to upset his friend any further and yet he was at a loss of how to make him feel better. The suspicion at the back of his mind suggested that the only answer was for Louis to wake up. Still, he often found himself aching to hug his younger band mate or state the bleeding obvious on a continuous loop that 'Louis would wake up in his own time and that they should relax some now that he was out of immediate danger'. Those words nearly made his own ears bleed.  
Staring at the deep circles under his Harry's eyes and the sour pinch to his face, Liam could easily vision what an out of control Harry might look like in Simon's version of catastrophic events. Depression was a big cause of addiction and Harry, to Liam, had the aura of someone prone to that sort of mental anguish.

Talking of depressing, his own mind was a rather miserable place right now. Could he not think of anything cheerier? Like… how awesome it would be when Louis actually woke up or how they were going to celebrate his release from hospital because they had to have a party of some kind. Maybe he should try talking to Harry about that – maybe give the kid something positive to think about? And how weird was it that he always called Harry 'kid' even though he was barely a year older than him?

Louis often called Harry 'Curly' or 'Hazza' while Harry in turn usually just called Louis 'Louis' or occasionally 'snowflake', which Liam had no idea of it's origin and Harry would never divulge. It usually cropped up, though, whenever Louis did something weird or crazy. It was always said with humour and affection too so Louis never complained.

Sometimes, Liam marvelled at just how close and comfortable the two were with each other. Sometimes he just wanted to avert his eyes. But very occasionally, at times like right now, he wondered if there was more to the story. At the back of his mind was always that comment Simon had made about Louis's sexuality.

Liam had decided, at the time, that it was Simon's way of trying to trip him into revealing if he, himself, was gay or not. A friend of his had used a very similar method prior to the X Factor to try to find out if he was gay. Liam hadn't liked the presumption that if you reacted a certain way to the reveal of someone else's gayness, it would reveal yours too. The thing was, Simon never dressed questions up – he was usually infallibly blunt. So, occasionally, Liam wondered if maybe Simon had been honest in his view and speculation. Louis had pushed the camp boat enough times to raise a few eyebrows but… there was still the fact that he had had girlfriends in the past and _still_ made suggestive comments of his attraction to the female population. But, there were moments when Liam would catch a certain shared look between the two boys or a kind gesture or a lingering touch and he would wonder if it was possible that Liam could, indeed, be attracted to boys. He was _always_ very handsy – especially with the guys but that could also be a respect thing for the girls.

With Harry he was extra-specially handsy. So, if it were true, and Louis _was_ gay, then Harry had to be gay too because he returned every touch and gesture. In fact, he often instigated the affection, usually when the cameras weren't rolling… and it was always with Louis, no one else – or at least not to that _extent_.

It was then a thought occurred to him, what if Simon had it all back to front? He was incorrect about Harry being the most concerning of the band (that was definitely Louis as pre-established) so maybe it wasn't Louis who was 'gay' and influential on Harry but the other way around. Maybe Harry was 'gay' or 'curious' and was influential on _Louis_. For some strange reason Liam found that easier to believe. Harry was a giant flirt with everyone, from teenagers to grandparents – the kid just couldn't help himself. It wasn't a hard stretch of the imagination to consider that maybe the reason he was such a flirt with everyone was because he was comfortable with both sexes. The next question would then be; did Harry know?

Liam looked over at his friend, swallowing thickly as Harry picked Louis's hand up again, in both of his, and rubbed his thumb into the crease of Louis's. He looked so serious, so un-Harry like and his movements so seemingly instinctual, Liam got the vibe that if his new concept was correct, then it would be as much of a surprise to his band mate as it was to everyone else... except maybe a certain section of their fans.  
"Liam!"  
Liam blinked in surprise and turned his head, seeing Niall's hand waving in front of his face.  
"It's your turn."  
Oh, he had forgot he was playing cards. How long had Niall been trying to grab his attention for? Blushing, he picked the next card off the top of the deck, "Rummy," he announced, placing down the 7, 8, 9, 10 of spades and three kings. Zayn and Niall groaned and threw there cards down onto the table.

As Zayn gathered the cards up and started to shuffle, Liam's gaze wandered back to Harry, whose eyes were drooping as he sat in that ridiculously uncomfortable chair. Why on earth was he even thinking these things about his two friends? It was hardly his business. Then he remembered; it was _his_ business. It was his job to look out for the band – to know their weaknesses and to take preventative measures where possible. Simon had practically written it into his contract – in invisible ink no doubt so Liam had no grounds to pass blame if it all went south.

So, what if, and it was a bloody big 'if', Harry and Louis did get together? Would that be a good thing or would it be a bad thing? As the dynamics of the band went, Liam supposed it would probably be a good thing. Louis would be happy meaning Harry would happy and, in turn, the rest of them would be happy within their fivesome. Out-with the band however… he figured there would be quite a storm in the media and between the fans. It might lose them a chunk of their 'straight-guy' fans and maybe some of the girls, whose dreams would be shattered. On the whole though, Liam figured that once the media frenzy died down, the fans would speak up for them and be quite supportive. Perhaps a little too supportive…  
Was that him being naïve, though? Damn Simon Cowell for putting him this position!  
Either way, this was something he was going to have to keep a close eye on. If something did happen between the two, he doubted it would be smooth sailing. In fact, knowing his friends, there would probably be a lot of angst and denial. That, in turn, could be disastrous for the band's dynamics. Yes, this needed close observation and careful planning. He couldn't allow himself to screw up again. Although… he really just hoped this was his imagination running away with him, it would be embarrassing but yet very relieving if it turned out they were just very good, heterosexual friends.

~*~

Tuesday, 9:18 am  
Room 317

"Hi honey," Mrs Tomlinson greeted, hanging her thick black coat up on the peg, "here," she held out a paper bag, "I brought you a sandwich."  
"Thanks Mrs T but I'm not hungry," Harry mumbled, rubbing his eyes. He'd got here about an hour ago, hating that he was being forced to return to the motel to sleep between the hours of twelve and seven. He would rather sleep in here, as he did the first night. Or not sleep at all because it wasn't like he could get any quality slumber anyway. The others were not so favourable to the early start. They would be here later – usually around half ten.

"Don't be stupid," she said sternly, "I know you won't have eaten since seven last night. You'll make yourself ill by not eating and that won't help Louis. The band doesn't need _two_ members sick."  
"Thanks," Harry mumbled, taking the package. Although his stomach was definitely not into it, he forced himself to take small bites. It wasn't bad, he supposed, the salad in it was cold against his throat. Mrs Tomlinson watched approvingly.  
"Has the doctor spoken to you yet?" He asked around a mouthful.  
"No, I've just arrived," Mrs Tomlinson shook her head, "and only saw Hilary at the station. She said he had a calm night." A calm night just meant no change; but at least it wasn't _bad_ news.  
"Harry," she said suddenly, "can I ask you something?"  
Harry nodded as he took another bite.

She pursed her lips, "it's obvious that you care deeply for my son and you have no idea how much that pleases me. Louis has some very close friends, which means he is someone wonderful to be around. Of course, _I_ know that but… it's even more special to see other people agreeing with me. I also have no doubt that if it had all been reversed and it was you in this bed then Louis would never have left this room either – that's because I know my son. But… I don't know you that well, at least not well enough to be sure of your intentions. Harry, you been here night and day, more than the rest of the band – who I know love my son very deeply too - you're clearly as upset as myself and my husband are, so I have to ask…" she bit her lip for a moment before asking, "has there ever been more between you and my son than either of you've told me?"

Harry frowned, "What do you mean _more_?"  
"Are you dating my son?"  
Harry inhaled his mouthful.  
It took a few very long seconds for him to hack it out of his windpipe and deposit it into a goopy mess on the floor. He stared at the woman sitting opposite him in astonishment, sure he must have misheard her.  
"_What_?" He gasped, "_No_! I'm straight. Louis's straight! Why would you ever think something like that?"  
"You're very close," she said with a shrug.

"So you think we're _gay_?" Harry spluttered, feeling his face burn.  
"Louis is close to Niall, Liam and Zayn," she pointed out, "and yet they're not dealing with this half as badly as you are. Forgive me; I just don't get it – not from a friendship angle. And it's not just now, it's all the time. The way you can't be a day apart with texting or calling each other. The way you always have to touch whenever you're in reaching distance, the way you share these secret looks and smiles like you know something the rest of us don't. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I just want to understand, I just want to _help_."  
"We're _best friends_," Harry replied coolly, "it may not live up to the exact definition of 'friendship' you deem correct but it is what it is."

~*~

Wednesday 4:26 pm  
Room 317

It had been over two days since Louis had been given the counter-drug to the medical coma and he still hadn't woken up. The doctor had explained that this was Louis's body's way of fighting the infection. It shut down everything but what was necessary in order to concentrate it's efforts on attacking the illness. For these last two days, Harry had done nothing but sit and stare at his best friend. That's what he was doing right now, studying his friend's face, memorising it into his mind. Louis had very delicately shaped eyes, he thought sleepily, sort of elongated and pretty – like a girl's. His eyelashes lay so gracefully against the pale skin under his eyes - all dark and slightly feathered. Harry had an idle wondering of what they would feel like to touch; soft and silky or deceptively brittle like his own? From where he sat, head resting in the crook of his left arm on the bed, almost nose to Louis's elbow, Harry let his eyes lazily trace down the contours of his friend's face and he mused that Louis's features were all very elegantly defined, almost feminine in a way. If it wasn't for the faint outline of fine stubble, it might have been hard to distinguish whether he was actually a guy or a girl. You could hardly even call it stubble either… it was that light and soft… Either way, Louis was quite pretty, which was a weird word to describe a guy… but… it was kinda true. The longer hair he sported now, nearly the same length and style as he'd had at his first X-Factor addition, did nothing to help him look more masculine. Even his hands were femininely elegant, with long tapered fingers and short, well-manicured nails.

Absently Harry traced his index finger down Louis's arm, quietly fascinated by how soft the skin was and how his action elected Goosebumps in it's wake. He couldn't help but do it again. He let his fingers slide right down into the crook of Louis's thumb and smiled as the slim fingers started to curl around his. It was such a tentative move, almost as sleepy as he felt. Perhaps that's why it took him a few seconds to realise that Louis's fingers weren't supposed to move.  
Heart suddenly in his throat, terrified that he was about to get the biggest let down of his life, he slowly dragged his gaze back up his friend's arm, across the shoulder and to his throat. He had to take a steadying breath before looking at Louis's eyes. It seemed to take eons, the air burning in Harry's still chest, but they eventually fluttered. Harry's heart skipped several beats.  
"Louis?" He whispered, daring to hope.

Louis's eyes fluttered again and Harry saw a flash of white and blue. He nearly face planted from the chair in his haste to press the call button. He frantically rang it several times and then practically threw himself at the bed again, using his elbows to climb up and lever himself over his friend's face.  
"Louis?" He said again, louder than previously, excitement bubbling furiously in his stomach. Louis's eyes fluttered open to half-mast, almost seeming to register his presence above him, before closing again. Harry grinned widely and sang. "_Louis_."  
Suddenly, Louis's lips moved as he tried to take a breath through his mouth but the ventilator tube going down into his windpipe prevented it. He started to choke. Harry sprung backwards in alarm. At that moment, two nurses appeared and Harry was ushered back towards the door. They fussed over their patient and extracted the breathing tube, which Harry had to close his eyes at because it was a truly horrible thing to witness. The choking, retching sound Louis made as it was pulled out went straight to Harry's stomach. But, oh my god… Louis was awake! Louis was awake. His heart was thumping wildly and he didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The emotion was building up in his chest and he knew if he didn't do something soon he was going to burst. The moment Janine took the tubing away out of the room, Harry dashed back to the bed, leaning over eagerly.

"Louis?"  
Louis's eyes fluttered, again and again, until, finally, they opened fully. His pupils were dilated, large and black, like he was drugged up to the eyeballs but they seemed to focus somewhat on him. He looked very weak.  
"Ha…" he croaked but the sound was caught up in his chords and his throat clicked loudly as he tried to swallow. Harry realised his friend's mouth must be bone dry what with going almost a week with no fluids given orally. Hilary pressed a catch near the pillow and raised the head of the bed until Louis was in a half-seated position. His eyes drooped instantly – clearly fighting to keep awake. At that precise moment, Janine returned with a glass of water with a straw in it. She gave Harry an appraising look before offering the glass questioningly. Harry took it from her without hesitation and held the straw up to Louis's lips. Both nurses then left; one announcing she would be back in a few minutes to perform some routine checks and the other saying she was going to inform the doctor Louis was awake. Louis took a small sip of the water and swallowed thickly. Then he took another. At the very real movement from his best friend, Harry felt every emotion crash down upon him like a punch to the gut. All the fear, pain and agony of the past week rushed through his nerves leaving him practically vibrating with the need to explode in some way. He shakily placed the glass on the bedside table and turned back around only to see Louis staring right back at him, tired and confused.

"Wh… what happened? Am… I in hospital?" he croaked, so quietly Harry had to lean closer to hear.  
"You collapsed at the arena," he said softly, almost choking over the words.  
"Oh… what's… wrong… with me?" Louis swallowed thickly again, his eyes falling closed once more. "… feel awful."  
"You've got septicaemia from a kidney infection," Harry replied, brushing a few strands of Louis's fringe from his eyes.  
"'s why my side hurts?" he mumbled, cracking his eyes open again.  
"Yeah," Harry nodded, feeling his throat burn.  
Louis's eyes fluttered again before opening wider. He stared at Harry, all sleepy eyed and beguiling and reached up, looking like it took all his strength, to touch Harry's cheek, "Are… you… alright?"

And Harry laughed, loud and bitter, letting his head fall forward onto his friend's chest as hysteria got the better of him. He did _not_ find it funny in the slightest though. Of all the things Louis was worried about, it was _him_, when he, himself, was in bleeding intensive care – just awoken from a coma. All the fear, agony and hysteria he'd been feeling these past few days suddenly erupted in an emotional fury.  
"_Louis_." He snarled, gripping his friend's gown tightly in his fists and shaking him - not even thinking about what he was doing. The fury exploded and he hit Louis's shoulder with his fist… again… and again, swearing a string of curses including 'idiot', 'fuck', 'why' and 'infuriating', wanting to repay back some of the pain Louis had put him through and was so out of control he couldn't stop himself.  
"_Ow_…" Louis whined, "Harry!" He said it so breathlessly, so weakly but so pleadingly that Harry stopped instantly. His anger vanished leaving him in complete, undoing _relief_. It crashed over him like a tidal wave. With a small cry he collapsed onto Louis's chest, burying his face into the warm cotton fabric of his gown.

"_Hey_?" Louis croaked as Harry's face moved up to press into the hot skin of his neck. Harry closed his eyes, the warmth and smell of his friend's skin was so familiar… and he couldn't hold back any longer, the tears bubbling over.  
Feeling the warm drips against his neck and Harry's shudders and hitches, Louis weakly lifted his hand and pressed it to the back of his friend's head. "Harry?" He asked softly, "Are you leaking on me?"  
Harry choked as he tried to laugh through his tears and Louis's nimble hand slowly carded through his curls, slow and sleepy. "Stop," he murmured, "you know I can't handle Hazza tears." He felt Harry smile against his skin and soothed, "that's it, come on, it's not like I died or anything."  
It had the opposite effect as Harry shuddered, remembering Louis's back arching under the paddles, "But you did… _three_ times," he wailed.  
"Oh…" Louis winced, maybe that's why his chest hurt so much…  
"And I…"

Louis returned his attention back to his friend and cupped the back of Harry's head encouragingly, "You what?" he asked gently.  
"I…" Harry sniffed, squeezing his eyes closed, "I said… we might as well plan your funeral… because I was going to kill you anyway… if you woke up… for putting us through all that… and then you went into cardiac arrest…" Harry's started sobbing again, "I didn't mean it… I'm sorry… I really didn't mean it. I don't want you to die."  
"Oh…" Louis swallowed, his heart aching for the sobbing mess of a kid crying into his shoulder, "oh Harry… you haven't been worrying about saying that, have you? I know you didn't mean it. It's okay… really okay... please, stop crying. I don't like it when you cry." He suddenly coughed, weak and sore and Harry remembered just how ill Louis still was and he sat up. He was probably making things a lot harder by leaning his weight on his poorly friend. Running a hand over his eyes and cheeks, he sniffed and offered Louis a small smile.  
"That's better, Curly," Louis croaked, managing to return the smile.  
Clearing his throat, Harry asked, "How are you feeling? Honestly?" as he brushed some more strands of hair out of Louis's eyes.  
"Sick… like really sick and sore. Everything hurts," Louis admitted, closing his eyes.  
Harry leant forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, "Sleep then," he said softly.  
"Stay?" Louis whispered back.  
"Not going anywhere," he replied, linking their fingers together. He smiled as Louis's fingers curled around his before slowly going lax. No, Harry thought, he was going nowhere – absolutely nowhere.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 5**

Wednesday 6:14 pm – 1 week after Louis's collapse.

"Boys slow down!" Hilary called out as three blurs zipped past her station. They acted as though they hadn't heard her and she shook her head after them with a small smile. It was cute how worried they were over their band mate. No doubt they were going to have a party now that he was awake.

Niall was the first one to reach the door of Room 317 and he just about took it off it's hinges as he slammed straight into it – pushing the handle at the last moment so he didn't concuss himself. It was one of those well-made fire doors, which were nearly silent to open so his crashing through only created a whistle of air rather than a bang. He stopped abruptly in the door way at the sight before him and Liam and Zayn crashed into the back of him with joint groans of pain.

Louis was sitting propped up but his eyes were closed and his body very still. Harry's head was buried in his arms to the side of the bed, probably asleep. Both were far too still and quiet for such a momentous event to have occurred. Niall's heart sank – had someone made a mistake? Maybe Louis had had another fit or something or they had reduced his medication… Then again… the breathing tube was gone… Niall started to walk forward and Louis's eyes slowly opened. Niall stopped instantly, his heart skipping a beat. Was he seeing things? No… he could definitely see white and blue…

"Louis?" He whispered.

Louis's eyes blinked a few more times and he straightened his neck up. Then he smiled, wide and bright and so very Louis-like.

"_Louis_!" They scampered for the bed – Liam just getting there first, wrapping his arm around Louis's shoulders and pressing kisses to his temple. Louis laughed and weakly hugged him back. Niall was next and practically squished his friend with the huge bear hug he gave him. Liam had to prise him away eventually because Niall did not want to let go. He didn't want to stop feeling the slight tremble of Louis's arms which told him his friend was awake and alive.

Zayn was a lot calmer than the other two and he gave his friend a careful, slightly prolonged hug, with a lot of whispering, that spoke volumes in the only way Zayn could when it came to showing emotion. The Bradford boy suffered from a macho streak in him that could sometimes rival a Texas cowboy. It generally only showed itself in times of actual need – probably as a natural defence. Usually he had no problems being all over other guys when it was for a laugh.

When they pulled apart, Louis settled back against the pillow and rolled his eyes at Niall and Liam, "Oh Jesus," he croaked, "not you guys as _well_. Harry already gave me the waterworks."

Niall choked as he tried to laugh and cry at the same time and Liam furiously wiped his eyes on his sleeve. They all glanced over at the fifth band member who was fast asleep in his folded arms and hadn't even stirred with all the commotion.

"How long has he been out?" asked Liam, walking around the bed to the youngest and shrugging off his jacket.

"About three quarters of an hour," Louis croaked, fondly running a hand through Harry's soft curls. Liam draped his coat over Harry's shoulders and then went to shut the blinds. "He kind of just zonked out on me. Tell me… is he okay? He looks absolutely shattered."

"Well… he's not been sleeping much, if at all, this past week," said Liam, dragging three chairs over to the other side of the bed. "Not that it's surprising. You gave us all a hell of a scare. So," he settled down on his chair and gave Louis a brilliant smile, "how are you feeling?"

"Honestly?" Louis rumbled, momentarily closing his eyes, "Like I've been hit by a bus."

"Pretty ill then?"

"Yeah…" It was true. The drugs he was on were obviously blocking a lot of the pain but he could still feel a throbbing ache in side. His ribs felt like someone had tried to pull them out of his chest, his head hurt, his throat hurt, he felt feverish and ready to throw up at any moment. The latter being one of his more pressing concerns because he was not wanting to do that in front of his friends. He had humiliated himself enough already, thank you very much. Swallowing thickly, he plastered on a wide smile, "So tell me what I've missed."

Harry woke up several hours later with his hair flattened on one side. A quick glance upwards told him Louis was asleep again and the muffled chatter behind him said the others had arrived and were playing cards at the small table. He blinked up at the nurse who had awoken him and she apologised, saying she needed access to Louis's drip.

"Hey sleeping beauty," Liam greeted as Harry stumbled to his feet and dragged his chair over to the rest of the band.

"Hi," he mumbled, yawning "how long have you guys been here?"

"A few hours," said Niall.

"Why didn't you wake me?" Harry grumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"Because you look like you could do with about ten years worth of sleep," Zayn drawled, throwing down the 3 of Hearts, "and Louis's sheets were doing a fine job of mopping up your drool. If we though Louis was in danger of drowning, we would have woken you."

Harry clouted the back of Zayn's head before dropping into his seat and rubbing his eyes again.

"Plus Louis begged us not to," added Liam, throwing down the Queen of Clubs and smirking when Zayn cursed.

"So you got to speak to him, then?" Harry asked.

"Yeah," Niall nodded, picking up the Queen and throwing down the six of spades, "For a few minutes. He fell asleep mid-sentence. It was quite funny."

Harry didn't doubt it.

"So…" Zayn looked at Harry curiously, almost warily, "You remember we're meant to go to that fan signing tonight?"

"Oh," Harry's heart plummeted, he had forgotten about that, "Yeah…" He glanced over at the bed and sighed. He really didn't want to leave Louis alone – not until he was out of intensive care.

Liam tapped his arm, "He'll be fine for a few hours."

Room 317 later that night 9.23pm

Liam tapped on the door and entered quietly, just in case his friend was asleep. Louis's eyes opened slowly and Liam smiled, his heart fluttering at seeing his friend conscious again.

"Hi, you're awake?" He whispered, stepping into the room and shutting the door.

"Yeah," Louis croaked, "how did the signing go?"

"It was great, all up to the point where Harry fell asleep on Niall's shoulder and nearly cracked his head open on the desk when Niall eventually moved. The fans loved it though – they thought it was the cutest thing ever. And everyone was asking after you. The screaming nearly broke the sound barrier when we announced you had woken up."

"Aww…"

Liam drew one of the chairs up to the bedside and sat down. He looked at Louis and frowned, reaching out to thumb his cheek, "Are you okay? You look pale – well, paler than before we left I mean."  
Louis shrugged his shoulders, "I think the drugs are wearing off a little… So… how come you're here so late?"

"It's only nine-thirty," Liam chuckled, "Harry's normally here until midnight and since he's comatose in the hotel I thought I would take his place tonight. It's about time he let the rest of us get some alone time with you. And anyway, I _want_ to be here."

"I'm glad you are," said Louis softly.

"Lou…" Liam hesitated, "I'm sorry. I should have noticed that you were ill and I didn't."

"It's not your fault," Louis replied, rolling his eyes, "_I_ should have told you. I'm an adult – or at least I'm meant to be – and I should have acted like one."

Liam sat forward, resting his chin on his hands, "So, why didn't you tell us?"

Louis sighed and looked away, "I was going to, after the Arena concert… I didn't want to mess that up for you guys. It was the biggest thing to happen to us yet, I didn't want to spoil it…, and I wish I could have enjoyed it more… I just… I guess I was sicker than I thought…"

"Do you remember much about it, about collapsing?"

Louis shook his head, "I… I only remember thinking 'just another song', just last another song… there was that awful pain in my side and I felt like I was going to pass out any second – particularly through Torn."

"But that wasn't even half-way through the concert!" Liam protested in dismay, "Oh Louis, why didn't you tell us? We wouldn't have been upset if you had missed one concert. All of us are going to get ill and miss a gig at some point."

Louis shrugged, "But it was our first big one and I didn't want to let the fans down… tell me when and where did I collapse? The fans didn't see it did they?"

"No," Liam shook his head, "It happened back stage, practically the moment we were finished. You started to go down near the stairs and then fell over the edge," Liam shuddered. "Nobody would let us near you but Harry managed to shove his way to the front. You were unconscious with a bleeding head wound and then you took a fit."

"A fit?" Louis frowned, "what do you mean 'a fit'?"

"Like a seizure," said Liam, "you know, shaking and thrashing…"

Louis was mortified, "Oh my god, in front of everyone?"

Liam nodded, "But the worst bit was when the paramedics arrived and your heart…" he swallowed thickly, starting to shake, "your heart stopped beating and they…"

Louis touched his friends arm, stopping him from saying the words, "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Liam shuddered and pressed his face into Louis's shoulder as Louis stroked his hair comfortingly. He could feel Louis trembling too and his throat clicking.

"Liam?" He said abruptly.

Liam sat up and swiped his eyes, "Yeah?"

"Could you get the nurse?"

Liam froze, "What?" He searched Louis's face and saw his friend was even paler and now grimacing.

"Please, just get the nurse and… could you stay outside for a few minutes?"

Liam rounded the bed and rang the call button, "I'm not going anywhere," he said firmly. Louis suddenly looked ready to cry,

"Please Liam? Just for a few minutes?"

"_No_. What is it? Are you in a lot of pain? Louis?"

Louis put a hand to his mouth and Liam got it at the same time Hilary came into the room. She took one look at Louis and snagged once of those cardboard bowls from the small cabinet. Just in time. Louis retched but, as he hadn't been eating anything by mouth, his stomach was empty. All that came up was bile and spit. Liam grimaced at the gut-wrenching sound but rubbed his friend's back through it, as did Hilary. When it was over, Hilary took the bowl away and put a small stack on the bedside cabinet. Louis rolled onto his side and buried his head into the pillow, crying with humiliation. "Hey, now," Hilary soothed, "it's okay. Believe it or not that's a good sign. It means your body is starting to fight the infection on it's own again."

Louis just buried himself further into the covers.

"Louis?" Liam tried, "it's okay. Don't worry about it. Hey… come here." He dragged his friend into a careful hug and realised, in that moment, just how small and young Louis was despite his 21 years. Liam felt a powerful surge of protectiveness burst out of him. He didn't so much as blink as he calmly soothed his friend when he was sick again - barely two minutes later.

3 weeks later – rented accommodation in Bexley, London.

"Would you like another glass of juice?" Harry asked.

Louis groaned, "Will you quit asking me that! If I drink anymore fluids I'll end up back in hospital with water poisoning!"

Harry crossed his arms, pursing his lips in disapproval, "The doctor said you had to take plenty of fluids for the next month to flush out your system."

"Harry, I _have_ been taking plenty of fluids! I just _finished_ the last ½ pint glass you gave me. I'm sick of peeing every fifteen minutes. I just want to have a rest on the couch for a while. Give me a break."

"A rest?" Harry was instantly concerned and sat down on the cushion beside his friend, putting a hand against Louis's forehead, "You feeling ill again?"

"_No_," Louis whined, smacking Harry's hand away. "I'm just tired because I was up half the night peeing from all the water you made me drink yesterday!"

"You feel a little warm though…" Harry frowned.

"LIAM!" Louis yelled.

Liam popped his head around the door, "What's up? You want another drink Lou?"

"No! I want you to tell Harry to chill the hell out. I'm not going to suddenly keel over and die."

Harry suddenly stood up and strode out the room, the door slamming shut behind him.

"Great…" Liam muttered, with a sigh.

"What's all the shouting about?" Niall asked, poking his head around the kitchen door, "You alright Louis? Do you need anything?"

Louis jumped to his feet, "Will you guys stop treating me like I'm a fucking child!" he snapped, "I'm sick of you mother-henning me all the time." He picked up his blanket and stormed off out the room too.

Liam looked at Niall and rolled his eyes, "Which one?"

Niall cracked his neck, "I'll take Loopy Lou, you take Hazza."

Liam tapped gently on the bedroom door and pushed it open. Harry was lying on his bed hugging his pillow. There was an angry tenseness to his shoulders and he growled out, "Leave me alone."

Liam sighed; this mini-meltdown had been brewing ever since Louis had left the hospital. Harry was still reeling from everything that had happened to his best friend and was unable to stop himself fearing the worst. Louis was just frustrated at being cooped up and coddled. Sooner or later one of them was bound to snap. At least it wasn't a huge meltdown, Liam didn't think he could cope with that. Not yet.

"He wasn't thinking when he said that."

"Really?" replied Harry scathingly.

"No and you know he wasn't." Liam sat down on the bed and touched Harry's shoulder. "Louis doesn't quite understand what it's like to see a friend die. He's not trying to be purposefully insensitive, he just doesn't understand."

"It hurts," Harry whispered, "right here," he rolled over and pressed a hand to his stomach, "so bad every time I remember him arching under those paddles, all the while preying the doctor wouldn't call time…" he trailed off and looked away.

"Is that why you're having nightmares?" Liam asked softly. Harry looked up in surprise and Liam gave him a small awkward smile, "I hear you sometimes, moaning in your sleep – and not the good moaning either."

"Yeah…" Harry nodded, swallowing thickly.

"What do you want Niall?" Louis asked, without looking around. He was sitting down in front of the sofa, staring out the conservatory window at the rolling farmland.

"To talk to you," Niall replied, sitting down next to him.

"Look," sighed Louis, "I'm sorry for snapping, it's great that you guys care so much about me… I'm just…"

"Fed up of being molly-coddled?"

Louis nodded.

"You can't blame us," said Niall softly, "We watched you die _three_ times."

Louis looked up sharply, shocked.

"What?" Niall asked, seeing his expression, "You think we just miraculously disappeared the moment your heart flat-lined? We were there; we were there when the paramedics shocked you back to life at the arena. We were there when you had to be shocked later that night in hospital and we were right there when they had to shock you back to life after your reaction to the antibiotics." The last one had happened the following day after Liam had spent the night at the hospital. The doctors had decided to change from a general antibiotic to a more targeted one. Louis's body hadn't agreed and he had fallen into anaphylactic shock a few hours later – right out of the blue when they were all playing cards. "Have you ever seen someone being shocked before?" Niall asked quietly, "It isn't nice and you will never forget it. Never. You technically died three times and none of us could do anything about it. All we could do was watch and hope and prey that the next shock would work. So Louis, I think we are allowed to fuss over you a little."

Sniffing, Louis nodded and conceded his point.

Louis paused outside their bedroom door and listened for a moment.

"It's like he doesn't care what he put us through… we didn't even know if he was going to live or die that first week and, just when we thought he was getting better, BAM, he goes and gets worse again."

"I know," Liam soothed.

"And I'm just terrified he's going to collapse again and this time… he's not going to get back up…"

Louis, bit his lip, hating how much pain there was in his friend's voice. He pushed the door open and said, "I won't. I promise."

Harry and Liam looked up, startled. There was an awkward moment as Harry deftly wiped his eyes on his sleeve and Liam got to his feet.

"I think you guys need to talk," he said and made a beeline for the door.

"Yeah," Louis nodded, staring at Harry, "I think we do too."

As Liam left the room, closing the door behind him, Louis approached the bed. He sat down next to Harry, "Are you crying again?" He asked softly, touching Harry's cheek. "I'm sorry. I hate seeing you cry – especially over me."

"Feels like it's all I've been doing this past month," Harry replied with a self-deprecating smile, "hopefully it means I won't again for the next twenty years." They shifted until they were both leaning against the headboard, side to side, their knees bumping together.

"So…"

"So…"

Louis looked down at his hands, not sure where to begin. He figured an apology might be a good place to start. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier, I wasn't thinking – I can't imagine how horrible it was to see me die like that."

Harry closed his eyes and shuddered.

"It was a very insensitive thing to say and I apologise," Louis continued. "You guys have been incredible and I really don't think I could have made it without you all… particularly you Harry. Niall told me all about how you stayed with me almost every hour of the day when I was in a coma. So thank you for that. Thank you for looking out for me. I'm just sorry I put you in that position in the first place."

"You couldn't help it," Harry protested.

"Well… that's debatable. If I hadn't have been so hard-headed the kidney infection might not have got so bad."

"Hmm… maybe..." Harry replied, with a half-arsed smile. Louis smiled back and leaned his head into Harry's shoulder. Breaking into a grin at the familiar camaraderie, Harry threw an arm around Louis's shoulder and hugged him close. "Can I tell you something?" He asked quietly.

Louis smiled, "Of course."

Harry bit his lip. "When you were in the coma I had a lot of time to think and I realised something."

"What?" Louis asked softly, leaning closer.

"With longer hair and a touch of make-up, you would make the prettiest girl in England."

Louis's mouth fell open. "What?" He gasped.

And Harry burst into laughter, deep and guttural, and fell backwards as Louis started beating him around the head with a pillow. It quickly morphed into a wrestling match, which was more rolling around giggling than actual wrestling. Louis didn't have a lot of strength still.

After a few minutes, Harry flopped onto his back pulling Louis with him so that the smaller man was on top. Louis lay down so that his head was resting on Harry's chest and they continued to giggle until the laughter naturally petered out. Harry felt so warm and happy, for what seemed like the first time in months, and he wrapped his arms around his best friend, hugging him tight.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," Louis whispered back.

"Don't leave me."

"I won't."

**45 minutes later, after the mini-argument**

"Can you hear anything?" Liam whispered nervously.

Niall shifted his position against the door, sliding his ear more to the left. He shook his head, "Nothing," he whispered back, "it's completely silent."

They shared a look of concern, "You don't think…" Liam began, searching Niall's face for an immediate negative to his unfinished question.

"What, that they've killed each other?" Niall replied before shaking his head, "Nah… they can't even shout at each other properly…"

"Yeah, but what if Louis collapsed and Harry thought he was dead and, because he can't live without him, he cut his wrists and is dead too?"

Niall's mouth fell open as he stared at his friend, wide-eyed, "Liam… you have _got_ to stop reading those cheap paperback thrillers. You've always been angsty but now it's starting to scare me."

Liam pulled a face, "Well, what else do you think they could be doing that requires the need of silence?"

Niall grimaced, "Actually, I'm beginning to think I don't want to know…"

Rolling his eyes, Liam brushed past him and, with a deep breath, slowly pressed the handle and pushed the bedroom door ajar. Tentatively, he poked his head around the jamb, bracing himself for whatever horror he might see.

The walls were not splattered in blood. Good. That was a relief. He glanced around, seeing no movement and his gaze fell to the bed. At once his eyes softened, Harry and Louis were curled up together and seemed to be asleep. He grinned; it was an adorable sight; like two cute puppies snoozing in a pile.

"I can hear you grinning from over there Payne, stop it."

Well maybe they weren't _both_ asleep, "But you look so adorable," he chuckled, "We really need a picture!"

"Do it and die," Harry hissed, "and shush. Don't wake him up."

"What's going on?" asked Niall, teetering on his tiptoes as he tried to peer around Liam to see.

Harry rolled his eyes and hissed, "He fell asleep on me, _that's all_, and when you've finished gawping don't let the door hit you on the way out."

"Hey," Liam held his arms up, "you don't need to get so defensive. It's really sweet he trusts you like that."  
"Whatever," Harry muttered.

Liam sighed, "Look, we're going to get a start on dinner. Wake him up in an hour or so – he'll need to take his tablets, even if he isn't hungry."

"Yeah, okay."

Liam and Niall started to leave but, at the last moment, Liam popped his head back around the door, "Oh, and Harry?" Harry looked up. "Maybe you should take a leaf out of Louis's book."

The door closed quietly and Harry sighed in relief, idly playing with some silky strands of Louis's hair. He could feel his friend's steady breathing brushing warmly against his neck and couldn't help but smile.

It hadn't taken long after their 'bromantic moment' for Louis to go heavy on his chest.

"Louis?" He had asked, momentarily alarmed that his friend may have passed out or gone into cardiac arrest. Yeah, he was still having problems with controlling his overreacting to certain situations – automatically fearing the worst despite the unlikeliness of the worst actually happening.

"Mmm?" And ah, that was sleepy talk and Harry instantly relaxed, feeling a little sheepish. Smiling, he had wrapped his arms around his smaller friend and teased gently,

"You falling asleep on me LouLou?"

"Mmmhmm. You're comfy."

"You saying I'm fat?" Harry chuckled, prodding Louis in the ribs.

Louis squirmed and buried his face into Harry's shoulder, it took a few moments for him to reply, "Oh… you know… you know… you know… I'd never ask you to change… if perfect's what you're searching for… then just stay the same… so don't even bother asking if you look okay… you know I'll say…"

Harry's eyes widened and he pushed himself up on his elbows in awe, "Are you singing to me…?"

He actually felt Louis's smile against his shirt and groaned when Louis murmured, "When I see your face… there's not a thing that I would change… cause you're amazing… just the way you are."

Harry flopped back to the mattress with a laugh, "You are so corny. Go to sleep before you start singing about my smile."

Of course, Louis start singing the next verse – although in a surprisingly reflective voice, "And when you smile… the whole world stops and stares for a while… 'Cause boy, you're amazing… just the way you are."

"Mate, _shut up_."

That was about half an hour ago and, although his shoulder was going numb, he had no inkling, whatsoever, to move. He felt hot from toe to shoulder, where their bodies lay entwined and although Louis was heavy, it wasn't an uncomfortable weight. It was actually kind of nice to be honest. Harry didn't really do intimacy, with friends or girlfriends, it wasn't his style, but there was something about Louis that brought out this instinct in him that just wanted to coddle the young Doncaster singer. It was the same thing he'd been thinking about in the hospital; Louis was such a robust, energetic character that it blinded you from seeing just how delicately built he was. Often, Harry actually felt the older of the two. Maybe it was the fact that Louis was smaller and slighter than himself – it certainly never felt like there was just over two years difference between them, even back when he was 16 and Louis had turned 19. Now that he was 18 and Louis was 20, Harry often found it hard to believe he _wasn't_ the oldest – mainly because Louis hardly took anything seriously.

He closed his eyes and listened to the quiet huffs of Louis's even breathing; trying not to think of the time it was joined by the hiss of a ventilator. Everything was fine, everything was nearly back to normal, so why was he holding Louis so tightly as though he might disappear if he didn't?

**An hour later…**

"_Harry, can I ask you something?" "Has there ever been more between you and my son than either of you've told me?"_

"_What do you mean **more**?"_

"_Are you dating my son?"_

"_**What**? **No**! I'm straight. Louis's straight! Why would you ever think something like that?"_

"_You're very close…"_

"_So you think we're **gay**?"_

"_Louis is close to Niall, Liam and Zayn, and yet they're not dealing with this half as badly as you are. Forgive me; I just don't get it – not from a friendship angle. And it's not just now, it's all the time. The way you can't be a day apart with texting or calling each other. The way you always have to touch whenever you're in reaching distance, the way you share these secret looks and smiles like you know something the rest of us don't. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I just want to understand, I just want to **help**."_

"_We're **best** **friends**, it may not live up to the exact definition of 'friendship' you deem correct but it is what it is."_

"_Harry… Harry! _HARRY!"

Harry snapped awake, "Huh?" He grunted.

Liam peered down at him, "Dinner's almost ready."

It took a moment for Harry to clear his head of the dream and understand what Liam had just said to him, "Oh, right… I'll be through in a moment."

"Make sure Louis comes too," Liam called back as he started to leave the room.

"Huh?" then he registered the weight on his chest, which was stirring, and remembered Louis falling asleep on him, "Yeah, sure."

"What's happening?" Louis yawned, without opening his eyes as he stretched languidly - causing their legs to slide together. Harry froze. Something had flipped low in his stomach at the sensation of Louis's leg sliding against his – a tingling ache that wasn't entirely bad. How… weird. He blinked and slowly sat up as Louis started to sit up too, slipping to the side, off Harry's lap. They, turned to look at each other, their eyes meeting and Louis smiled sleepily, his eyes half lidded with peeking sapphire. Harry's stomach flipped. When did Louis's eyes get so blue…?

"Hi," Louis rasped.

Harry's heart skipped a beat, "Hi," he breathed.

And whoa, how did they suddenly get so close? He could almost feel Louis's breath against his cheek. His eyes slipped downwards to Louis's mouth and watched, fascinated, as Louis bit his lip, leaving the skin shiny... Harry started to lean forward,

"GUYS!" Harry fell backwards off the bed in complete shock as Niall blasted through the bedroom door, "Aiden and Matt are here!" He whooped, jumping in the air, before running back out the room, "and dinner is on the table!"

"We better go," said Louis drowsily, shimming off the bed.

"Yeah," Harry nodded faintly from his position on the floor, "I'll be there in just a minute."

As Louis left the room, Harry sank his head into his hands and let out a shaky breath, his heart thumping wildly, _holy fuck, what had just happened_? _What had he been about to do_?

**The next day, 12:26 pm**

"So I'm off to get my hair cut," Louis announced as he wrapped his scarf loosely around his neck, "any of you guys want to tag along – I was thinking about going to Mayers afterwards."

Niall's eyes lit up, "Ice cream? Count me in!"

"I'll come," Zayn nodded, throwing down his Men's Health magazine. They all looked to Liam, who shook his head apologetically.

"I can't, remember? Mum's coming over at some point this afternoon for a visit."

"Oh yeah," Louis nodded, "say hi to her for us. Harry?"

Harry winced, looking like he had just been caught sneaking out or something, "Um… I'm afraid I can't. I've got something to do. Sorry." He shrugged and then made a quick exit out of the living room.

Liam watched him go in surprise; it wasn't like Harry to turn down spending time with Louis or the others. He glanced at Louis and saw the lad trying to mask a look of disappointment and hurt. _Huh_, Liam frowned, okay, _something wasn't right here_. He glanced at the door Harry had left through and then back to Louis, who was now smiling cheerfully.

"No worries," he said with a shrug as he linked arms with Niall and Zayn, "We'll have fun without them, won't we boys."

Once they were out of the house, Liam gave the main living space a quick tidy up, ready for his mum coming over. He liberally sprayed 'Fabreeze' over everything, nearly empting the bottle over the massive pile of shoes and trainers. Once he was finished, he headed upstairs to Harry's room. The door was ajar so he pushed it open without knocking. Harry was at his computer twitcamming with some girls.

"This is what was so important?" He asked in surprise.

Harry jumped and immediately shut down the connection, "You ever hear of knocking Liam?"

"What's going on?" Liam crossed his arms, "why didn't you want to go with the others?"

"I told you," Harry snapped, "I have other things to do."

"Twitcamming with teenage fans who aren't probably even legal?" Liam didn't believe it for a second.

"What I do in my private time is none of your business Liam," said Harry hotly, "you seem to have forgotten that recently."

Liam felt his temper starting to flair, "If it affects this band then it _is_ my business," he retorted.

"Oh go away," Harry huffed, turning back to his computer screen.

"Well, just so that you know," Liam replied heatedly, "I think you hurt Louis by brushing him off like that."

For a second Harry's shoulders tensed and Liam thought _jack pot_, but then Harry turned around and snapped, "We're not joined at the bloody hip! If Louis has a problem with that then he'll just have to deal with it himself. It's about time he grew up a little."

"You don't mean that," said Liam, he didn't believe those words for one second, "and pot, kettle black Harry." Harry's teeth clenched and Liam shook his head, exasperated, "Look, I don't know what your problem is but you need to cool down. You can join mum and me later, if you want, but in the meantime… think about how Louis, Niall and Zayn are going to feel when they find out you've fobbed them off to twitcam with some random underage fans." As he banged Harry's bedroom door shut, Liam took a deep steadying breath to calm himself.

Harry would come to him when he was ready; he knew he would. He just hoped that whatever was bothering the youngest member of the band wouldn't cause any lasting trouble to the band.

**Two weeks later**

"Louis!" Liam called desperately, running up the steps after his friend.

Louis banged through the front door, stormed straight through the living room and up the stairs - slamming his bedroom door shut behind him. Liam winced at the echoing boom; he shrugged off his shoes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn't know what to do first, go to soothe Louis or wait and give Harry the bloody black eye he deserved? Although, by the sound of things, Zayn and Niall had already started towards the latter.

"What the fuck was that?" Zayn hollered, slamming the front door behind them.

"How could you say such a thing," railed Niall.

"Hey, don't walk away from us," Zayn spat, moving to stand in Harry's way.

"For God's sake," Harry groaned with an eye roll, "I meant it as a joke, you guys are taking this far too seriously."

"You practically told the media that Louis was surplus to the band!" Niall cried, "How is that a joke?"

"I was merely trying to make a point about Brookstein."

"What, by agreeing with him?" Zayn thundered.

"No!"

"Well it certainly sounded like that," snapped Liam, "why the fuck did you even dredge him up? I thought we agreed long ago never to talk about him again! Louis was really cut up last time. It took us months to convince him it wasn't true. Now what's he going to think?"

"God…" Harry growled, "I said what I said in sarcasm – as a joke – and I'm sorry _you_ _all_ didn't get that. But if Louis is this sensitive to a joke, maybe there might have been a little truth in what I said after all."

_Smack!_

Harry gripped his cheek with a hiss as a stunned Niall and Liam automatically hauled Zayn backwards before he could land another punch. A large red welt flared up instantly on Harry's right cheek

"Zayn!" Niall cried, wrapping his arm around his friend's waist.

"Harry, go to your room," said Liam grimly, "I'll bring you some ice."

"Don't bother," Harry snarled as he stormed off.

**Three quarters of an hour later…**

"Here," Liam threw a bag of ice roughly onto the bed, "You got anything to say?"

Harry glared up at him, "Just go away Liam."

"Fine, but first let me offer you some congratulations; you've made Louis so upset he's locked himself in the bathroom, crying."

When Harry said nothing but just continued to stare stonily at him, Liam slammed back out the room angrily. The moment his door shut, Harry's glare melted and he broke down into tears. Oh god, he'd made Louis _cry_. Louis never cried. Why the hell did he think this whole 'distancing' thing would be a good idea? He was miserable and he was making everybody else's lives miserable too. Now he had just hurt his best friend in the worst way – by undermining his confidence in front of the whole media. And now, not only was Louis really upset but his other best friends hated him for it too.

But what other choice did he have? He had to make sure that he never felt anything other than friendship for Louis and he couldn't do that with Louis all over him 24/7. Therefore, he had to get Louis to like him less and if that meant hurting him a little, then that was what had to be done. For the sake of the band. For the sake of their friendships. Even if it felt like his heart was ripping out of his chest.

**5 hours later (at some godforsaken time in the morning)**

It didn't make sense to Liam. From the first moment Harry and Louis had leapt at each other with a clinging hug, after finding out they were in a band going to Judges Houses, the two of them had been closer than brothers. They never truly argued, they never got bored of each other and they could hardly be in the same room without being right up into each other's spaces. They had little boundaries and a great affection for one another. So what had changed? What had changed with Harry? It _had to be Harry_ because he was the one who had been avoiding spending time with Louis recently and Liam could see the genuine hurt and confusion in the older boy's face every time Harry dismissed him. Liam didn't think it was something Louis had necessarily done or said because Louis seemed to be as bewildered as the rest of them. Plus, Harry was very touchy about the subject of Louis at the moment, biting off anyone's head with some hurtful remarks if they brought his avoidance up in conversation. Harry had never been a grouchy or spiteful person so he was acting very out of character. In fact, Liam was finding it hard to _like_ the youngest band member at the moment.

Then there was tonight. What Harry had eluded to was unbelievably mean and very uncalled for. Whatever Harry had been hoping to achieve by his behaviour it certainly worked. Liam had never seem Louis so upset before tonight. That was probably the worst of it. Louis _never_ really showed anger or hurt – he was even more guarded with those emotions than with hiding illness. Therefore, Harry's words must have hurt him incredibly deeply if he couldn't control his reaction. Liam felt his body go white hot with pure rage at that thought. Out of all of them, Louis was the least deserving of being hurt. He was such a fun, caring and sweet guy. Liam just hoped that Harry hadn't completely ruined their friend's confidence with his thoughtless words. Though, he wouldn't be surprised if it had caused un-repairable damage to the boys relationship. He really wanted to smack Harry, like Zayn had, but he knew it wouldn't achieve anything.

That brought him back to the question of; what had changed to make Harry want to risk losing his friendship with Louis? Why was he pushing the older boy away? At that choice of words, something suddenly clicked in Liam's head and he sat up. Wait, _pushing_… was Harry trying to push Louis away? Was he trying to distance himself from Louis? Liam thought back on the last two weeks. Prior to tonight's disaster, Harry hadn't exactly been mean to Louis, he'd actually let him down quite gently a lot of the time. He never said anything harsh if Louis voiced his disappointment – usually in a cheerful pleading way because Louis didn't do negative emotion very well. Harry just stuck by his guns – as though determined about something.

Liam let out a breath; that was it. Harry was determined to distance himself from Louis… that's what he had been doing these last two weeks. But _why_? What an earth could have happened for Harry to want to do _that_? What could have occurred that had put Harry so on edge without Louis reacting the same?

Maybe Louis didn't know… maybe… maybe it was only something Harry knew?

Liam gripped his bedcovers in his fists as his mind worked at a furious pace. This whole thing had started the day after the 'coddling incident'. But… Harry and Louis had seemed fine that night… Louis had even fallen asleep in Harry's… oh. OH! God, could that be it? Liam licked his bottom lip. Could that really be it? After all, it was a very intimate position… certain feelings could arise in positions like that… feelings you aren't expecting. He left out another long breath. How didn't he think of this before? He had been mulling over this very situation in the hospital! He had practically predicted this; Harry getting mixed feelings about his sexuality. Liam had even figured it would be as much a shock to Harry, when he realised, as it would be to everyone else. Maybe this was what had happened? Maybe Harry had finally realised, sometime that night while Louis slept on him, that he had feelings he'd never noticed before. Feelings that scared him and now… he was _running_.

Right, Liam nodded determinedly; in the morning, Harry and he were going to have a loooooooooong conversation. Even if he was wrong about the 'unexpected feelings' part Liam was going to find out just why Harry was trying to distance himself from their best friend.

**8:11 am the next morning**

The moment Harry slumped in to the kitchen, still half-asleep, Liam jumped to his feet. Before he could even say a word though, Niall suddenly screamed, "LIAM!" from up the stairs. It was followed by thundering feet and a crash as the kitchen door bounced off the wall.

"He's _gone_!" Niall yelled, in his thick Irish accent.

"What?" Liam frowned, not following.

Niall held up a note, "Louis! He's _gone_. He's left!"

"_What_!" Liam gasped, snatching the note from Niall's hand. He scanned the page, his hand trembling increasingly at every word.

He slowly looked up at the youngest member of the band and saw the frozen horror on Harry's face.

"Harry, I think you should read this," he said tightly, struggling to remain calm, "then you have six hours to find him, rectify the damage you have done and bring him back home."

Guys

_I'll be gone by the time you read this and I'm sorry I didn't have the guts to say goodbye. In fact, I don't really know what to say except I think we all knew this was a long time coming. It's really not as out of the blue as it seems – I've been thinking about going for a long time but your friendship always stopped me. I guess I've been selfish. I never thought I would be strong enough to leave, well I finally found my strength._

_Anyway, I will fulfil my contract until it ends in January but I won't resign after that. Until then, I need some time alone to come to terms with this because not only am I leaving an amazing band but also some wonderful friends too. I'll pick up the rest of my stuff some time next week and I'll let Simon know when my doctor gives me the 'all clear' to start gigging again. So I guess I'll see you some time in December. _

_Yours, _  
_Louis_

Harry sighed and refolded the note again. It was the 26th time he'd read it so far since alighting at London King's Cross and boarding the 11:10 train to Doncaster. He was no nearer figuring out how he was going to undo the mess he'd made - it was hard enough trying to stop people from recognising him. He was starting to sweat under his damn Chullo. Luckily, he had been able to afford a business class ticket so he had a little privacy, although some of the businessmen kept shooting him funny looks. Whether they recognised him or whether they wondered what a teenager was doing in business class, he had no idea. As long as they didn't bother him he didn't care.

It hadn't been difficult to work out where Louis had gone. The problem with being so close was that nothing was a secret. A little clever thinking and they could gain access to anything of each other's. Harry had cheated though. He had helped set up Louis's internet banking so, fortunately (and unfortunately), he knew Louis's user information. It was the first and, hopefully, last time he was going to betray his friend's trust like that. The wonderful thing about online accounts is that you can see a transaction almost instantly. At 4:32 am, Louis had purchased two train tickets online. One quick hack into Louis's email account and he found the receipts, which told him his friend was heading to Doncaster. Not that it was surprising Louis would go to his parent's house. Louis had always been close to them. Harry only hoped that Louis's parents didn't call the police when he rang the doorbell. They were very protective of their son, not that Harry blamed them.

Ting tong. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we will shortly be arriving at Grantham Station. Can I remind all passengers disembarking to please uplift their belongings and retain their tickets for inspection at the barrier gates. Thank you. Grantham Station next stop."  
Harry sighed; he was half-way there and hadn't one iota of a plan.

At one forty-six, he hitched his rucksack onto his shoulder and watched the taxi pull away from the curb. Then he turned and stared up at Louis's house. His heart was suddenly in his throat. He really hadn't got a clue what he was going to say. It's not like he could tell Louis the truth – that, for a few minutes he'd entertained the idea of liking his friend more than in a normal platonic way, and had consequently freaked out. Louis would either laugh in his face or punch him.

With a sigh, he pulled off his hat, fluffed his curls and started up the gauntlet that was the path to the front door. It took him six attempts to get the nerve to ring the doorbell. The moment it buzzed, Harry let go like he'd been electrocuted and felt his heart speed up. Inside echoed the sound of childish voices and he knew it was Louis's younger sisters. They were very easily excitable and were, no doubt, dancing around at the fact the doorbell had just rung. He couldn't help but harbour a small smile, he adored them to pieces.

To his surprise it was one of the twins that answered the door. She squealed when she saw it was him. "Harry!" Then she launched herself at him and Harry, taken by surprise, staggered backwards under her weight. Chuckling, he hugged her back as the second twin appeared and attached herself to his leg, bouncing and squealing like crazy.

"What have I told you about opening the front door to strangers, girls!" Mrs Tomlinson shouted from the hallway. It took a few seconds for her to appear and when she did, Harry found himself staring into a very stern, very scary scrutinising gaze. For a few moments, neither of them said anything and Harry knew, just by her unyielding expression, that Louis was definitely here and that she knew Harry had something to do with it.

"Harry's here!" the twins squealed at her, still jumping up and down.

"I see that," she replied neutrally.

"Have you come to cheer Louis up?" One of them asked Harry, tugging at his shirt.

"Uh…"

"Because he's very sad," she said, looking suddenly sad herself, "He came home crying this morning."

"Yeah, and Louis never cries," the other added.

"We tried to cheer him up," said the first, "but he's been in his room all day and won't talk to us."

Harry's stomach lurched violently.

"That's enough girls," said Mrs Tomlinson, "go back into the house please. I need to talk to Harry for a few minutes."

"Can we go tell Louis that Harry's here?"

"No," said Mrs Tomlinson firmly, "I want you to stay downstairs."

"Oh…" their faces dropped but they obeyed their mother's wishes and went back into the house. Mrs Tomlinson pulled the door closed behind them and wrapped her long beige cardigan across her chest trying to hold out the cold wintry air.

For a moment, they just stared at each other; Harry swallowing thickly with nerves and Mrs Tomlinson still stern and unyielding. It had been a month since Harry had last saw her and almost two since that first night in the hospital.

Suddenly she sighed, looking resigned, "What are you hoping to achieve by coming here? I really doubt he wants to see you. I'm not sure _I_ want you to see him either."

"I just…" Harry struggled to find something to say, "I just… I want to apologise at the very least. I didn't mean what I said and I need him to know that."

Mrs Tomlinson tilted her head to the side, narrowing her eyes, "And what about what Louis needs?"

"I…" Harry twisted his hands, uncertainly; he had no answer to that.

Sighing again, Mrs Tomlinson tapped her foot and warned, "_Harry?_"

"I don't know!" He burst out, "I don't _know_. I… I think I panicked."

"Panicked?" Mrs Tomlinson repeated, sounding sceptical. She stared down at the young man in front of her; he looked pale and tired and genuinely upset. He was also shivering in the cold afternoon air. Despite her misgivings, her motherly instinct won out and she uncrossed her arms, "okay, let's go and talk in the kitchen."

She opened the front door and ushered him inside, then led him straight down the hall into her warm domain, closing the kitchen door firmly behind her.

"Right, I think we need a brew. Sit down," she gestured towards the large wooden breakfast table and made a beeline straight for the kettle. Harry, pulled off his hat and coat and took a seat on the nearest wooden chair. His knees bounced nervously as he looked around. It had been a long time since he'd been in Louis's house.

The Tomlinson kitchen was a typical normal family kitchen. The units were fairly modern, suggesting it had been remodelled in the last five years and the décor was tidy with fresh tones of cream and light yellow. It felt very lived in; with various shoes piled by the back door, jars and gadgets lined up along the counter, pans drying on the draining board, children's paintings tacked to the fridge with alphabet letters and an overflowing notice board with memos, bills and appointment cards. His own parent's kitchen used to be like this but maybe not quite so hectic, there was only he and his older sister so there was not as much going on. Louis had four sisters so Harry guessed it was often mayhem for his friend's parents to keep everything organised.

When Mrs Tomlinson had poured them both two steaming mugs of tea and stirred three sugar lumps into Harry's, she sat down opposite him and regarded him carefully.

"So, maybe we should start by you explaining what you mean by 'panicked'. Remember, I saw how you reacted to Louis being in hospital so I don't think for a moment that you actually believe a word of what you said to that reporter."

"I don't!" Harry said quickly, "I don't, not at all."

"So why did you say it, then?" She asked in complete bafflement.

"I panicked."

Mrs Tomlinson frowned and lowered her mug, "So you keep saying. What exactly were you panicking about?"

Harry squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't exactly tell her 'oh for a brief moment I entertained the desire to kiss your son and I was scared I might develop a crush on him if I didn't take a step back. It was harsh but it seems to have worked because I haven't had another notion to kiss him ever since.' God, he couldn't tell her that, especially after their conversation in the hospital when he so vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for Louis. Because he didn't. Not at all. That almost kiss thing was just one of those insane 'in the moment' events. He hadn't been thinking, he'd just woken up, Louis happened to be there next to him in bed, mistakenly too close and Harry's sleep mussed brain had simply misjudged the situation. He really had over-reacted - now that he thought back on it.

But what could say to Mrs Tomlinson? Clearly, she wouldn't be letting him anywhere near Louis unless he came up with something satisfactory to explain his arseholic behaviour. So what was he going to tell her? He normally couldn't tell lies to save himself so what chance did he have now? God… what was it his sister used to advise him? If you going to lie it's best to base it on truth.

Well, here went nothing…

"A few weeks ago, someone passed me a link to a gay online forum where there was an article about Louis and myself." True – he'd giggled over it with Niall for about an hour and left some rude comments at the bottom. "They made some points about how close Louis and I were using pictures and videos of us as evidence to support their speculations. It… made me uncomfortable and… I realised that maybe our relationship wasn't… healthy…"

"So you started to avoid him?" said Mrs Tomlinson, quite matter-of-factly.

"Yeah," Harry replied, nodding. After all, he _had_ avoided Louis prior to last night – just not exactly for the reason he gave her. "I thought that if we spent less time together we wouldn't be so…" he struggled for a word to describe them… "over the top?"

"I get what you mean," she nodded, quietly taking another sip of her tea, "and did it work?"

"Yeah, I guess so…" he faltered and then decided to add another bit of truth, "but I was completely miserable and missed him like hell."

"Colour me surprised," she muttered and then added, louder, "so what happened last night?"

"Um…" he thought fast… a lie based on truth… "Someone made a comment," he said quickly, "and I over reacted and said something very hurtful and untrue… in a lame attempt to seem less close to Louis as I am."

"I see," she nodded and Harry squirmed, suddenly feeling a little sick. He watched her slowly swirl her cup and then take another, deliberate, sip. When she had swallowed, she looked up at him with a shrewd narrowness to her eyes, "So why do I get the feeling that there's a lot more to this than you're letting on?"

Harry couldn't do more than shrug in reply, he had no words to contradict her.

"Okay," she said after a moment, "What do you plan to do now?"

"Sorry?" Harry didn't follow.

"I mean, what's going to happen in the future if someone else makes a comment that makes you feel uncomfortable? Are you going to take it out on Louis, again?"

"No," Harry said quickly, "No, definitely not. I feel absolutely awful about last night and I don't want to hurt Louis again. I'll just ignore it in future or laugh it off. But I won't let it get to me; Louis's friendship means so much more to me than that."

"Well I guess you better-" she was cut off mid sentence as the kitchen door opened and none other than _Louis_ stepped inside.

"Why is this door clos…" he stopped dead as soon as he saw Harry sitting there with his mum. His expression turned blank and the ensuing silence was more than a little awkward.

"I think," said Louis's mum quietly, "I'll leave you boys to talk."

Louis swallowed and looked away, starting to walk towards the glass cupboard, "No Mum, that's okay, I just came down for my tablets."

"Louis," Harry entreated softly, standing up, but Louis ignored him. He filled a glass of water, pulled the small bottle of pills from his pocket, shook two out and then swallowed them both with one long gulp from the glass. He tipped the remaining water into the sink, recapped his pill bottle and then announced,

"I'm going out for a walk," and strode out into the hall, pausing only to grab his jacket from the hook, and exited the front door, letting it loudly bang closed behind him. For a few moments, neither Harry nor Mrs Tomlinson said anything. Then Harry finally got with it. He snatched up his coat and hat and started for the door too when a thought hit him. He stopped and turned around, "Mrs T? Could I possibly have two of those biscuits?" He pointed to the jar on the worktop.

She seemed surprised by the request but nodded. He jogged back, lifted the lid and snared two of the oatmeal cookies. "Thanks," he replied, shutting the lid againg and then running for the front door.

Louis was nowhere to be seen. Frowning, Harry looked around and saw a park up the street. That was as good a place to start as anywhere.

He spotted Louis almost instantly, trudging up the path skirting the perimeter of the park. He had his red JW jacket hood up over his head but, despite the frost, he only had sandals on his feet. Harry had to take a moment to shake his head and smile, Louis was so wonderfully weird at times. Then he started to run again, calling his friend's name. When he reached Louis, he jumped in front of him, forcing his friend to pull up short, "Wait."

Louis stared at him, his expression unreadable. Then he sighed, "What do you want Harry?"

"I want to apologise!" Harry cried, before taking a step back and holding out the biscuits, "and I want you to eat these. You shouldn't take those tablets on an empty stomach."

"I'm not hungry," said Louis shortly, making as if to start walking again.

Harry stood his ground, feeling his nose start to tingle in the cold air. His breath came out in large puffs of steam, dancing around them, cocooning their heads in it's faint mist.

"Louis," he growled, "you can be as pissed off at me as you like but eat the damned biscuits. I don't want to have to drag you back to hospital vomiting blood from having burned a hole in your stomach lining."

For a moment, Harry thought Louis was going to ignore him but then, suddenly, he snatched the biscuits and shoved one into his mouth then started to walk away again. Well, Harry thought, that was a start at least.

"Louis," he pleaded to his friend's retreating back, "please wait. Hear me out."

Louis stopped and turned around. He was pale and very tired looking and his expression bore the sight of accepted defeat. "It's okay Harry, I get it and I'm glad that it was you who finally had the guts to be truthful to me. But please, don't make this any harder by trying to soften the blow."

"_What_?" Harry shook his head and walked forward, "No! What I said was nasty and completely _untrue_."

"Whatever," Louis turned around again and started to walk off.

Harry twisted in frustration, looking to the sky for some help. His next words flew out of his mouth in a desperate attempt to get Louis to listen, "I was trying to make you hate me!"

Louis froze mid-step and Harry clapped a hand over his mouth; that wasn't what had hoped would come out. He held his breath as he waited Louis's reaction to that rather dramatic confession. Very slowly, Louis turned around, his eyes wide and forehead scrunched. He cocked his head to the side and said, cautiously, "What did you say?"

"I…" Harry bit his lip, his chest stuttering. He reached out, "I didn't mean it like that…"

Louis took a step closer to him, his expression unnervingly unreadable, "You want me to hate you, _why_?" He sounded baffled.

Harry hesitated, "Uh… it's a long story."

"I've got plenty of time," Louis replied coolly.

"Fine," said Harry, stepping forward, "Let's walk."

It was easier to talk when he didn't have to look at Louis. He could also lie better. They walked side by side, their arms occasionally brushing. Thankfully, the park was practically deserted so there was nobody to recognise them and disturb their conversation. Stuttering a little over the words and blushing like hell, Harry delivered the same story to his friend as he had Mrs Tomlinson. Louis listened quietly and, at the end, turned to him and said,

"So instead of talking to me you decided to try and sabotage our friendship?" Harry winced and Louis shook his head in despair, "and they call me the mental one!" Harry managed to crack a smile at that but didn't dare look at his friend.

Louis sighed loudly and stopped, taking a hold of Harry's elbows and spinning him around. It was the first time they'd touched in two weeks and Harry suddenly felt close to crying over how much he'd missed it. "Harry, we've had people saying that stuff since the beginning. Why is it suddenly bothering you now?"

"I don't know," yes he did, "I really don't know. Am I not allowed a moment of madness?"

"I guess…" Louis seemed unconvinced, "so does it still bother you? What people might say about our close friendship?"

"No," Harry shook his head vehemently.

"Are you _sure_?" Louis stared fixedly at him, trying to see if there were any cracks in that statement.

"I'm certain," Harry nodded and he _was_, he realised. He could deal with any stupid feelings he might develop quietly on his own, nobody had to know, but he was not going to sabotage his friendship with Louis again. The whole hospital incident had shown he couldn't live without the older boy in his life and the past two weeks had been the most miserable ones he'd ever endured. "I meant what I said," he added with a tentative smile, "I love you and… you know what? I was being ridiculous. Everyone knows I love you; _so what,_ if a few people take it too far? It's what we think that counts."

Louis was biting his lip and to Harry's horror, his eyes were shimmering wetly. But then he was being yanked into a crushing hug and, with a shudder of profound relief, he clutched Louis back, burying his face into his friend's shoulder. He felt Louis press an affectionate kiss to his temple and shivered, gripping his friend harder. He wasn't going to cry. He wasn't going to cry. He wasn't going to…

"I love you too," Louis whispered.

Okay, he was bloody crying.

Eventually they pulled back, Harry wiping his face with his sleeve and Louis straightening out his jacket.

"So," Harry sniffed and pulled out the letter Louis had written, "about this leaving the band malarkey. I better tell you right now that, if you're not in the band, I'm not, either."

"Harry," Louis started to protest.

"No," said Harry firmly, "you are a great singer – you _know_ you are. And you're very important in the band. Your voice is the only one that compliments everyone else's. Zayn and I really struggle to work our voices in harmony and so do Liam and Niall. All you're missing is the confidence to take the lead. Don't you remember the reaction of the crowd at the Arena when you took your solo? I thought the roof was about to blow off!"

"I thought I was hallucinating with the fever," said Louis in a small voice.

"No," Harry shook his head and wrapped an arm around his friend's shoulder, squeezing affectionately, "you weren't hallucinating at all. They went absolutely wild – they were even chanting for an encore from you!" His eyes softened as he gazed down into Louis's, "You know, I said to Liam months ago that we needed to find a song that's just right for your voice to lead us. Guess what, he told Simon and now Simon has Jesse McCartney writing one. That's Jesse McCartney, the guy who penned Leona Lewis's 'Bleeding Love'? We were going to tell you when it was ready but I think you need to know now."

"A song… for me?" Louis's eyes were comically wide.

"Yeah," Harry grinned, "we'll probably back you up in the chorus or something, but it'll be mostly you. Personally, I can't wait. The rest of us have already had our chance, some of us more than once." He blushed.

"I don't know what to say," Louis looked genuinely floored.

"Say…" Harry grinned, sliding his arms downwards so they were draped around Louis's neck, "you're going to forget any nonsense about leaving and will let us help you build up your stage confidence so you can blow the world away with _your_ song.

Louis bit his lip and nodded, "Okay," he whispered.

"Woohoo!" Harry shouted in delight, jumping in the air and then spinning around like any idiot.

Louis smiled but Harry quickly noticed it wasn't quite real. He stopped cheering instantly and walked back up to his friend, wrapping an arm around his shoulders again. "Louis? What's wrong? Aren't you pleased about the song?"

Louis bit his lip again and shook his head, "It's not that," he said quietly.

"Then what is it?" Harry asked.

"I… I think something's wrong."

Harry took a small step backwards so he could see his friend's face properly. Louis looked very white now. "What do you mean _wrong_?" He asked uneasily.

"I…" Louis started to say and then his legs suddenly gave out.

"Shit," Harry swore, catching Louis under the arms just in time to stop him hitting the gravel. He was surprisingly heavy but, very carefully, Harry lowered him onto the path. "Louis?" He gasped, frantically searching his friend's face.

"Harry?" Louis weakly made a grab for his hand, looking frightened. Harry took it tightly and squeezed, trying to appear as calm as possible.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, can you tell me what's wrong?"

"I… don't know… I feel weird… weak… cold… dizzy… and it hurts…"

"What hurts?" Harry urged.

"Right here," Louis put a hand over the left side of his abdomen. Then he groaned in agony, curling up, "Fuck…"

"Okay, I'm calling an ambulance." He held Louis's hand in his left and used his right to shakily fish out his phone and dial 999. He'd never phoned for an ambulance before…

Louis came aware with a quiet groan, feeling like he'd gone head to head with a rabid unicorn and come off the worst. The room around him was noisy and busy and the sound hurt his ears but he couldn't concentrate enough to try and block it out. The stabbing pain in his side was too horrible and sickly and he felt like someone was sitting on his head. Still wondering where he was, and unable to open his eyes, he made the mistake of trying to tilt his head to the side and instantly felt his stomach lurch.

"Patient's going to vomit," he heard dimly and then there were hands rolling him onto his side and it kind of felt like he was out of his body. He could feel himself heaving but it didn't quite connect in his head that he was being sick. However, he did feel something hard going in his mouth and sucking it dry.

The next time he woke up it was blissfully quiet, only a gentle beep breaking the silence. It was quite soothing, especially as someone was caressing his hand, taking great care to press all the wonderful pressure points. He was still in a lot of pain but it was muted and he felt full – like his blood was thick and making everything in his body work sluggishly.

"Louis?"

He recognised that deep voice…

"Louis? Can you open your eyes?"

Louis forced his eyes open a crack and everything was blurry.

"Hi," the voice said, "don't worry, I'm not going to hit you this time."

Louis tried to ask 'what happened' but it came out more like, "waappen"

"Your kidney infection caused an abscess to grow on the renal vein in your kidney," said Harry softly, "the vein ruptured when we were in the park and you started to bleed internally. They had to give you a blood transfusion in the ambulance because you lost too much. Then when we got here they rushed you straight into surgery… removed the abscess and sewed up the vein. I think they also gave you some more blood. The bad news is I think you're going to have a small permanent scar – probably about an inch or so on you stomach. The good news is I'm sure the fans will love it. They'll probably be like, 'oh Louis, please show us your manly scar. You're so _brave_, I wish I was as heroic as you. I think I'm going to get a scar tattooed on my stomach to prove how much we still love you even though you've got an imperfection now'."

"Harry…" Louis murmured.

"Hmm?"

"Shut up."

"For fuck sake Harry!" Liam bellowed, "I told you to apologise not send him back to bleeding hospital."

Louis awoke with a start.

"Hello to you too, Liam," Harry replied sarcastically, leaning back from the bed.

"You… guys… want… to… turn… down… the volume," Louis murmured weakly, cracking his eyes open.

"Louis!" Liam cried softly and suddenly he was next to the bed and cupping his cheek.

"Are you okay?"

"Been better," he murmured, leaning slightly into the touch. He loved how motherly Liam could be at times, "where are the others?"

"Right here," said Niall quietly as he and Zayn came into view, walking up to stand next to Liam by the bed.

"Hi," said Louis weakly, trying another smile.

"Hi," said Niall, bending down to press a kiss to Louis's forehead, "You had us worried sick. Liam nearly killed us driving up here like a maniac."

"Really?" said Harry in interest, "Where did you get the car from?"

"Borrowed Nick's."

Harry's eyebrows rose, Nick was one of their bodyguards. "Does he know?"

"Er… he does now," Liam had the grace to blush, "he's going to kill me if I get even a _grain_ sized scratch on it."

"He's going to kill you anyway for driving us up here without him or another bodyguard," said Zayn with a grin. "So, has the doctor spoken to you yet?" He asked Louis, perching against the side of the bed.

Harry answered for him and Louis was glad because he didn't have the energy to talk much,

"I think he's speaking to his mum and dad at the moment but, from what he said earlier, they want to keep Louis in for a few days to watch out for further infection. Once he's home, he's not allowed to move much until his stitches come out. That'll be a couple of weeks."

"Yeah…" Louis smiled, fighting to keep his eyes open – god, why was he so tired? "I might get them out for my birthday."

"Hopefully before then," said Harry, smiling down at him. His grin softened as he saw his friend was fighting to stay awake, "Hey," he said, standing up and hovering over his friend, palming Louis's cheek gently so that he could look him right in the eye, "don't stay awake on our account. We're not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry…" Louis murmured, "I didn't mean to do this to you again."

"You've nothing to be sorry for," said Niall firmly.

"Yeah," nodded Zayn, "you just concentrate on getting better."

**Three weeks later, back in Bexley**

"Do you want a drink?"

"Harry," Louis warned, shifting under his blanket.

Harry held his hands up in defence, "I was just going to make myself a cuppa and thought I would ask if you wanted one too. No pressure."

Louis smiled, "Okay then, yes please. With one spoonful of pickle."

**Sometime mid-week of the 2nd week of December**

"Louis? Why do you have a rubber chicken taped to your head?" Harry asked, attempting to sound nonchalant rather than incredulous.

"I'm trying to engage with my inner spirituality," Louis replied calmly, cracking one eye open. He was sitting on the floor in the middle of the living-room with his legs crossed, eyes closed and hands in some kind of Buddhist prayer position. His bare feet were almost purple so God knows how long the idiot had been sitting there.

Harry's eyebrow rose even higher, nearly touching his hairline, "By taping a rubber chicken to your head?"

"I didn't have a feather," Louis shrugged, as though this was an obvious explanation, "Now shush, you're harshing my mellow."

"Harshing your mellow…?" Harry repeated faintly, wondering if his friend had finally cracked, "Louis, you have been watching _way_ too much TV. Get up; I'm taking you out before you do something that's crazy even for you."

Louis's eyes snapped open and he suddenly grinned, like a maniac, "Okay!" Then he was up on his feet and dashing for his shoes, leaving Harry standing there feeling like he had just been conned.

**Twenty minutes later…**

It was the first time Louis had really been out of the house in three weeks. In fact, it was probably the first time since the kidney infection that he had been out for anything other than official business (not including the walk that ended with him back in hospital or the trip to the hairdressers). The sheer joy on his face made Harry feel a little guilty. Louis must have been feeling some level of cabin fever what with being housebound for so long – but he had never complained. Then again, Louis didn't like to complain and, if he did, you knew it was something worth complaining about. His positive shield was one of the things Harry both loved and found incredibly irritating about his best friend.

Harry had insisted that Louis wear a coat and _boots_. It was the middle of December now and icy cold outside. Louis, for some reason, always seemed to dress as if it was the height of summer with rolled up trousers and colourful espadrilles. Thankfully, he had given in very quickly to Harry's demands, probably just so Harry didn't revoke the invitation of going out. He'd even pulled on a black beanie and a set of gloves and the Liam part of Harry's head had nodded in approval. They weren't going anywhere special – just out for a walk through the nearby woods. It would be a taste of freedom for them both as it was one of the few places they could go without fans turning up. They could relax and enjoy something as simple as a walk in privacy and just chat, something they really hadn't done much of recently despite Louis being housebound.

Harry had pulled on his charcoal G-Star parker and his favourite Chullo and locked the front door behind them, jogging to catch up with his friend. Then they had set off down their drive, nearly losing their footing on the icy paving stones in their haste. Giggling like idiots, they had hurried along the street, occasionally ducking behind parked cars, James Bond style, to avoid being spotted by the locals. The next road was a main one, which they couldn't avoid, with a reasonably heavy flow of traffic. However, it wasn't a main walking route, as such, so they kept their faces away from the cars as they walked along. Their pace, set by Louis, was too fast for any talking and, although it was only a 700m stretch, they were a little out of breath by the time they reached the secluded shelter of Stable Lane. The lane was a long, narrow road, winding past some large farms and down through typical English countryside into the woods. Around them the hedgerows and trees were barren and glistening with frost. Underfoot, the potholes were frozen over and crunched noisily under their boots. It was only about eleven in the morning but the sky hung overcast and wintry dull. They slowed down to a more sedate amble, now that they were alone and walked side by side – their sleeves occasionally brushing. Louis was the one to start up a conversation - about Pandas of all things. He'd been fixated on Pandas for around six months now, ever since they had all visited Edinburgh Zoo, while on tour, and saw the two new Pandas on loan from China. For some reason, Louis had been absolutely fascinated with them and it had taken Liam and Harry over forty-five minutes to drag him away from their enclosure. In recompense, Zayn had bought Louis a Panda hat from the gift shop. Louis had worn it everyday for two months until Liam had thrown it in the washing machine, declaring it hazardous to human health. Unfortunately, the panda hat didn't take too kindly to being washed at 60°C and disintegrated upon removal. Louis had made a small funeral pyre out in the back garden, cremating it like it was once a living thing – because that was just the way Louis was – and he didn't speak to Liam again for a week. Four months later and Louis was still talking about Pandas, this time about a documentary he'd watched yesterday on the Discovery Channel. Harry listened indulgently, occasionally making a comment or a confirmative noise. Sometimes he just liked to listen to Louis talk away – about anything really – Louis had a way of making even the most boring of topics entertaining.

They paused for five minutes - so that Louis could pet some of the cows by one of the field gates. Most people would stop to pet a horse but not Louis – he liked cows. The cows didn't seem to mind the attention and Harry was half tempted to take a snapshot to post to Twitter. However, he found he was too distracted watching his friend to search for his mobile. His heart grew warm as he listened to Louis coo to the cattle like they were babies and feed them handfuls of semi-frozen grass. Somehow Louis managed to convince him to feed the cows too and as the nearest one tickled his palm with it's mouth, he wondered if he would have ever fed a cow like this if he hadn't had auditioned for The X Factor. Probably not. He wasn't sure if he liked the idea of cow drool on his hands.

Eventually Louis was distracted by a friendly robin and they continued their amble up the lane, finally reaching the edge of the woods. They took the southeast trail, which would take them on a loop through the trees. It was surprisingly noisy in the woods; with the tree branches creaking, birds tweeting and the cacophony of other odd sounds you seem to find in a forest.

Their conversation moved from Pandas (thankfully) to acts of stupid logic. Again, it was Louis who brought it up,

"Have you ever wondered why when someone tells you that there are billions of stars in the universe you believe them but if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?"

"And by _you,_ you mean yourself," Harry teased.

"Hey, that was one time," Louis protested, stopping and turning around to face Harry. The movement swept his fringe into his eyes and Louis blew it out again with a quick puff from his lips. "That sign had been there for _three_ days. How was I to know someone had been doing a fresh coat every day? I thought the sign had been forgotten about."

Harry laughed as he remembered the three blue lines of paint Louis had sported after standing up. Niall still had the photograph somewhere. It had made Twitter's top ten dumbest pictures of the week. Liam had been so gleeful as he had been the raining champion out of the five of them with two previous pictures, including one with a rampant seagull and the other with a peeing dog. Liam liked to pretend that those incidents had never happened – complete denial – so the rest of them liked to remind him occasionally, just for a laugh.

"You had to sit through a whole signing with that paint on your arse," Harry chuckled, "and the press were everywhere taking pictures."

"Don't remind me," Louis groaned, shaking his head mournfully and knocking his fringe back into his eyes. He fumbled with it with his gloved hands but did little more than flatten it against his forehead. Harry shook his own head with a fond smile and pulled his hands out from the comfortable warmth of his coat pockets.

"Hold still," he said, stepping forward, right into Louis's space, and tucked his friend's fringe back under his hat. Louis's hair was long now, almost the same length as when he had first auditioned for the X-Factor and the layered ends poked up from under the back of his hat. They were silky soft and Harry wondered if his friend had been 'borrowing' Zayn's conditioner again.

"Thanks," said Louis quietly, breaking Harry out of his musings.

Harry froze as he realised they were standing really, _really_ close and he could actually feel the heat from his friend's body. It made his senses shiver and, as he took in a deep breath, he got a whiff of Louis's aftershave, Armani Code. It was surprisingly sweet and Harry's heart skipped a beat. _Wow_, he thought, Louis really did have a smattering of freckles on his nose and really long eyelashes and very delicate features.

"Oh," said Louis softly, making Harry blink. He stared as Louis's gaze lifted up, catching his breath when those bright blue orbs met his but rose up further and further, Louis tilting his head back… Harry looked up too.

"Oh," he breathed as a speck of white floated down and melted against his forehead. It was initially cold but quickly warmed up on his skin and evaporated. The next one hit his eyelash, the third into his right eye. He blinked the cold wetness away and lowered his head. Louis was still looking up and now had his mouth open – his tongue trying to catch a flake of snow. It was the most adorable thing Harry had ever seen and _whoa_, where had _that_ come from?

Louis suddenly lowered his head too, tongue back in his mouth, and he looked back at Harry with the toothiest grin possible. His face was just lit up in wonder and it was kind of breath-taking. Harry was mesmerised; Louis was so…so… _pretty_. He really _was _and _oh_… Harry stared, almost cross-eyed, as a large snowflake landed on the tip of Louis's nose and slowly melted. He couldn't help himself, not with Louis looking so adorable and smelling so sweet and feeling so warm, he dipped forward and rubbed their noses together.

Louis breathed in quietly at the contact but didn't move and Harry, stuttering internally at how soft and silky it felt to rub noses with him – and cold – did it again and again. Yes, Louis's nose was cold. And his breath smelled like sweet coffee. _And_ this felt way too nice to be normal… and that was when Harry realised it wasn't normal – at least for him – to be rubbing noses with another guy. He pulled back, slowly. Louis's eyes were wide.

"Uh…" Harry said, his heart suddenly jack-hammering in his ribcage. Holy shit, what the hell had he just done? _Why _had he just done that? And was there anything close at hand that he could just crawl into and die of embarrassment?

"Did…?" Louis stuttered, still gaping incredulously, "Did you just give me an… _Eskimo kiss_?"

"Uh…" Harry wanted to say 'No! That's just a figment of your warped imagination. I would never do a thing like that!' but what came out was, "Yeah?"

"Uh huh," Louis said faintly and Harry wanted his friend to blink. The wide-eyed staring was starting to make him nervous.

"Okay?" asked Harry, starting to fidget with his coat pockets.

"Um… yeah," Louis replied, sounding a little dazed, "it was… interesting…" he swallowed loudly, "you've never done that before."

Harry shrugged, "I like to keep you guessing. Come on, let's keep walking."

They fell through the front door, giggling and dripping melted snow everywhere, about two hours later. As they crossed the threshold, Harry staggered under the weight of Louis on his back and carefully let him slide to the ground. The encrusted snow under Louis's boots skittered across the wooden floor and his sodden hat finally slipped off and dropped into one of their wet footprints. What had started as a few tiny flakes of snow had turned quickly into a blizzard and they'd taken full advantage of it. Snowball fights, snow angels and bum-sledging down embankments had been their enjoyment – and at one point Louis had tackled Harry to the ground in a field by jumping on his back. Harry had received a face full of snow and retaliated by rolling over and starting a wrestling match, which morphed into trying to shove snow down each other's backs. They were now soaking wet, frozen to the bone but completely and utterly exhilarated. It was to be short lived though…

"Where the _hell_ have you two been?" Liam appeared in the living room looking incredibly angry.

"Out for a walk," Harry replied, the smile falling from his face. Liam didn't just look angry, he looked _livid_.

"For _three hours_?" He shouted. Harry checked his watch,

"Four actually," he shrugged, "why? What's wrong?"

"_What's wrong_?" Liam was now almost vibrating with his fury and Harry was growing quite alarmed. Surely he hadn't forgotten something… like a meeting or a signing? "Oh, I don't know," Liam spat, "how about us coming home to find the house empty, no note? You weren't at any of our friend's and no one we asked had seen or heard from either of you. Neither of you answered your phones and, oh, what else? It's snowing a fucking blizzard outside!"

Louis pulled out his mobile, as did Harry, and both saw they had quite a lot of missed calls. They both felt instantly guilty - yeah, maybe that had been a little of an oversight leaving their phones on silent.

"We thought something might have happened!" Liam snarled, "We thought Louis could have been taken ill again and we phoned around every hospital in the London area! We even called the one in Doncaster and near _Holmes Chapel_! Steve, Rick and Pete have been driving around looking for you too! Everyone's been worried sick!"

Harry winced, oh yeah, they were in for a right chewing-out by their bodyguards and probably quite rightly. But a part of him was irritated too. "Okay, I'm sorry; we should probably have left a note to let you know where we were. But Liam, we," he indicated himself and Louis, who was now divesting himself of his sodden boots, "are adults and we have the right to come and go as we please. We're not kids who have to tell their parents where they're going, with whom and at what time we should be back. Anyway, if something was wrong one of us would have got in touch – we're not stupid."

The end of his words were punctuated with the slamming of the living room door. Both Louis and Harry winced, especially when there was an echoing bang ten seconds later upstairs.

"Oops," said Harry, starting to slide his soaking wet jacket off his shoulders. It was cold and uncomfortable now. "I guess I better go and speak to him."

"Nah," said Louis, straightening up and shaking his head, "I will." He pulled off his gloves, dropping them on the radiator and then turned to pull Harry into a surprise hug. Their clothes were as equally cold and damp as their coats and, as Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's neck, their faces brushed and he felt how Louis's skin was like ice. It sent a shiver down his spine. But any hug from Louis, no matter how damp or uncomfortable, was something to be enjoyed. Harry wrapped his arms around his friend's waist and hugged him back. The sharp scent of fresh air had now replaced the aroma of Armani Code. It was equally nice.

"Thank you," Louis said simply, "that was the best fun I've had in ages." He pulled back and pressed a sweet kiss against Harry's cheek.

Harry blushed and grinned, "Anytime," he said and then watched as Louis made his way through the living room towards the stairwell, leaving a trail of wet sock prints behind him.

Louis knocked on Liam's bedroom door and waited. There was no reply. Rolling his eyes, he tapped the door again and slowly pushed it open. Liam was sitting back on his bed, propped against the headboard and staring determinedly at his laptop.

"Go away Harry, I'm not interested," he said without looking up.

"Firstly, it's not Harry, it's Louis and secondly, I don't care whether you're interested or not. You're going to suffer my company for a few minutes."

Liam looked up, genuinely surprised. Louis wasn't normally the one to come knocking to smooth over a row. Then again, normally Louis didn't row with any one – especially him. _Then again_, Louis wasn't really the one Liam was angry with this time either – it was Harry, for taking Louis out without telling anyone and for not seeming at all genuinely sorry for putting them all through a hell of a scare.

"Louis?" he said as he put his laptop to the side.

Louis closed the door and wandered over to take a seat on the edge of the bed. His expression was apologetic but his eyes said so much more… he was _happy_. _Very_ happy – like he'd just had the time of his life. Liam felt the angry ball in his chest start to melt. Seeing a happy Louis was like watching a deprived child receive a toy they'd only ever dreamed of owning. It brought out every ounce of paternal care and human compassion he possessed.

"I'm sorry," Louis said, and his eyes told Liam he was genuinely so, "we should have let you all know where we were going. We had no intention to make you so worried and, normally I would agree with Harry that we are adults and therefore are free to come and go as we please, but, considering the recent situation with myself, we should have made an exception this time."

"Harry's the one who," Liam began but Louis held up his hand.

"I suggest you think long and hard about finishing that thought," he wasn't angry but sounded firm, "I am _not_ a child or an invalid Liam, I am an adult who, yes has been very ill recently, but who still has the right to take the consequences of his own actions. _I_ tricked Harry into taking me out today because I was climbing the walls with boredom. It may have escaped _your_ notice but I've been stuck indoors for almost two months. If I stayed inside for any longer I would probably have had a psychotic breakdown or something.

If Harry is guilty of anything, it's for being too nice for his own good. Yes, we didn't leave a note, and yes, if I had been in your shoes I would have been worried too but, Liam, you're going to have to learn not to panic if one of us is gone for a few hours without telling you. We all have separate lives out-with the band – even if we live together."

"I get that, I do and I'm sorry for worrying-"

Louis laughed hoarsely and patted Liam's knee, "Don't ever be sorry for worrying. It's nice that you care for us that much. As I said, I would probably have been worried if I was in your shoes too. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't get so worked up in future until one of us has been missing more than six hours without getting in touch. I just don't want to fall into the trap of having to report everything I do to you guys. Same way as I know the rest of you don't want to give everyone all the details of what you get up to either. Trust me, if one of us is getting lucky, the last thing we'll be thinking about is whether you're worried we're not at home – and I think we'd all be pissed if we were interrupted by a concerned phone call during something like that."

Liam sighed and hugged his knees, "I get what you're saying and I know we over-reacted – and I do mean 'we' by the way." He flapped a hand weakly, "Zayn and Niall were probably freaking out more than me. It's just…"

"I get it," Louis said quietly, "and I'm sorry too. Friends?" He held out his arms.

Liam's mouth quirked into a smile and he shuffled forward, moving in to hug his friend.

"Always," he replied. Louis grinned and held the taller boy tight – there hadn't been as many Liam-Louis hugs as there had Niall-Louis hugs or Harry-Louis hugs but that just made their hugs feel all the more special when they did happen.

Liam was the first to pull away, rather quickly in fact, "Jesus," he swore, "you're soaking wet. Were you rolling about in the snow or something?" It was a rhetorical question but Louis wanted to say 'yes' anyway. "Go get your arse in the bath and put on some dry clothes. Do you want to get sick again? Jesus."

Louis grinned, hopping off the bed, "Okay mum." Crisis averted, mission complete. A bath sounded damn good too.

It wasn't until he had seen to the other two worried boys and then closed the bathroom door behind him that Louis gripped his cheeks with his hands and sank slowly to the floor. He let out a shaky breath and finally allowed himself to react to the day's proceedings. At once his heart started pounding. That moment in the woods, that wonderful, gorgeous moment when Harry had leaned in, Louis had momentarily had the insane notion the boy was going to kiss him and… he hadn't found it objectionable in the slightest. In fact, it had felt like missing a step when Harry hadn't. Still, the Eskimo kiss thing had been… his heart skipped a beat… maybe even more intimate than a proper kiss… He blushed just thinking about it. Since when had Harry been evoking these kinds of feelings in him? Feelings that made him blush and shiver nervously… Okay, so they had always been close, joked about bromances and played up to the camera with overly-affectionate demonstrations of fondness but it had been exactly that; an _act_. Yes he loved Harry, he loved Harry a lot, would do anything for him, but in the same way as he loved and would do anything for his sisters!

Didn't he…? Louis rubbed his temples.

He would never consider, for a moment, wanting one of his sisters to kiss him because EWWWW! That was _beyond_ gross and completely illegal, ugh. The thought of Liam, Niall or Zayn kissing him was just as bad and he screwed his eyes up to get rid of those images. So why, in that moment, had he been more than happy to let _Harry_ kiss him, if he wanted? And why now, did the idea of Harry kissing him send a fluttering to stomach.

He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and whined; this could potentially be a huge disaster in the making.


	3. Chapter 3

**Two days later… **

"Do you think," Louis paused to swallow his mouthful and take a sip of his coke, "if a man with a multiple personality disorder threatens to kill himself, it would be considered a hostage situation?"

"Maybe…" Harry shrugged, opening his mouth for Louis to feed him another piece of popcorn. He chewed slowly, his eyes following Richard Gere on the TV, as his lawyer character walked through the prison on a mission. A moment later, he reached up to press some kernels into Louis's mouth and supposed, "If he went through with it though, would it be considered suicide, assisted suicide, multiple homicide or mass murder?"

Louis shifted a little on the sofa, stretching out his toes and bouncing Harry's head a little as he moved. Harry was sprawled out along the couch with his head resting on Louis's lap while Louis was smudged up into the corner of the three-seater, sitting normally but with his arm draped over the younger boy's shoulder. They were about three-quarters of the way through the movie but only half-way through their bowl of popcorn. It had been a lazy day.

Harry had woken up feeling a little under the weather and, although he hadn't said anything, Louis had somehow picked up on his sluggishness and kept their activities slow and easy. They'd spent most of the day on the couch watching whatever came on to the TV and having sporadic conversations about the most random of subjects. It was nice to be back on an even keel with no weirdness between them. After a few hours of anxious consideration in the bathroom the other night, Louis had decided that whatever stupid notion he'd had about that thing in the woods was ridiculous. Neither he nor Harry were gay so it was completely pointless to analyse his moment of madness. The next morning, he'd woken up and laughed at himself. Yeah, he'd overreacted to a moment's madness – _completely_ overreacted – and, with that in mind, he had greeted Harry with his usual half-hug and hair ruffle in the kitchen and that was that. Back to normal.

Now, Harry was feeling quite sympathetic to his friend - as daytime TV really _did_ suck and Louis had had to endure _two months_ of it. He opened his mouth again to accept some more popcorn from Louis's butter-greasy fingers.

"You two are so weird," drawled Zayn, as he trudged into the living-room and slumped down into one of the opposite armchairs. He put his phone to the side, having clearly been texting someone – probably Liam – and regarded his two friends in disbelief. "Seriously, do you guys not feel weird doing that sort of thing? Because it's really weird to watch."

Louis shrugged, "I dunno… what sort of thing do you mean? I don't find anything weird about Harry, except maybe his taste in man crushes – I mean, David Hasselhoff, come _on_!"

Zayn rolled his eyes, "I meant lying there, practically cuddling and feeding each other?"

Harry, feeling oddly daring, shoved his hand back in the bowl and grabbed a handful of kernels before slowly and deliberately reaching up and pressing them into Louis's mouth. Louis took them in without hesitation and Harry grinned over at their other band mate, "Nope, not weird at all," he said brightly.

"If," Louis added, his voice slightly muffled by his mouthful, "you want to join in you don't even have to ask – pull up a pew," he indicated the arm rest by his elbow, "don't sit there all jealous."

Harry sniggered and then coughed, wincing internally at the pain that flared in his throat and how that pain travelled straight to his ears, leaving them burning too. He automatically pressed a hand to his throat and massaged the tender area. Shit, he really was coming down with something and that bloody headache he had woken up with was coming back with a vengeance. He hunched up a little and pressed the side of his suddenly throbbing head into Louis's thigh.

"Hey," Louis said softly, with concern, immediately picking up on his change of mood, "are you okay?" He leaned down over him to peer into his face, looking a little worried.

"Yeah," Harry nodded, cringing at the increasing hoarseness of his voice, and how much it suddenly hurt to swallow, "just not feeling too good – think I might be coming down with something."

Louis pressed a hand to his forehead and his frown deepened, "You feel a little warm, Hazza."

"Probably just a cold or something," Harry muttered, shifting restlessly.

Louis's eyes narrowed, "That's what I thought when I first felt ill and look what happened. Come on; let me up. You need some Paracetamol."

"I'm _fine_." Harry croaked, groaning as Louis pushed him upwards, as though he hadn't heard him, and slid off the couch to his feet.

"What we doing for dinner tonight," Zayn asked randomly, "and where's Niall?"

Louis, taking a moment to adjust to standing after so long sitting, yawned and stretched - making some of his joints pop and he sighed in pleasured relief, "Mmm…?" He then turned to Zayn, "… uh… Niall's in his room I think, Skyping with Sean and Scott. As for dinner, I don't know. I guess we should check in the fridge. Liam mentioned something about chicken."

"Talking of Liam," said Zayn, checking his phone again, "he's going to be later than planned – probably around seven o'clock."

Louis's face lit up, "So _we're_ cooking then?"

Zayn's head snapped up, a wide smile blossoming across his face and he nodded with a "Yeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah." He held his hand up for Louis to walk over and slap it before hauling him to his feet too. While both were reasonably good cooks, after the whole Sainbury's Cook thing they did together during the X Factor, it was deemed unsafe to let the two cook together in the same kitchen ever again. If Harry had been feeling a bit better, he would have offered to cook himself or attempted to barricade the kitchen door. Instead, he just watched in vague amusement as his two friends grew over-excited at their sudden opportunity to let loose once more. They chased each other into the kitchen, shouting out ideas, which sounded nice but entirely too dangerous for them to tackle unsupervised. However, Harry found he wasn't too concerned. The front door wasn't that far away if there was an emergency and he had his mobile in his pocket in case 999 was needed. He just wanted to stay right here and do nothing – too lethargic to care about anything.

Louis reappeared a few minutes later, just as Harry was getting drowsy, with two paracetamol tablets and a glass of water. It hurt to swallow them but the cold water was a little bit of a relief against his throat. He handed the empty glass back to Louis when he'd finished and lay down on the couch again, thinking he could get in a nap before dinner. Louis pulled the blanket over him – the same one he'd used when he'd been the poorly one – and Harry smiled, touched, especially when Louis pressed a kiss to the top of his head before leaving.

Liam arrived home to find most of the lights off in the living room, Harry asleep on the couch, the sound of mad chopping coming from the kitchen and Niall dashing from said kitchen like a mad man, genuinely terrified.

"Knives," was all Niall squeaked in his direction before dashing for the stairs. A particularly violent hiss from the closing door made Liam jump and cringe. Oh _hell_. He spent some time taking his shoes and outdoor clothes off, hanging them in the closet before he managed to find the courage to enter the culinary domain of doom. Barely half a step inside, he had to duck a flying jar of chilli sauce, which came hurtling towards his head.

"Salt!" Louis shouted and Liam had to duck again as the saltshaker flew inches from his head as Zayn lobbed it across the room. Louis caught it deftly, twisting the top a few times into one of the pans on the hob before putting it down on the counter beside him. They may be hazardous to others but Liam had to marvel at their skill. He also had to smile at seeing Louis back to his old energetic, _special_ self.

"Something smells good," he ventured, because it _did_. It smelled fantastic – sort of spicy and fresh and very appetising. Louis and Zayn were good cooks – you just didn't want to be in the same room while they were making a meal if you had any self-preservation.

"Liam!" Louis turned and grinned at him, nearly splattering him with sauce from his spatula. "Just in time! Here, taste this, do you think it needs more pepper?" He thrust the spoon into Liam's face, not leaving any room for argument. Liam had no choice but to lick the creamy red liquid and at once the flavours seared over his tongue. It was intense – in a delicious way – but plenty hot enough.

Coughing, he shook his head, "No, no, it's fine," he gasped, fanning his mouth, "no more pepper needed."

Louis beamed and Liam, fighting back the desire to pet his friend's head affectionately, dropped his bag by the kitchen table and went to the fridge to grab a drink.

"So how come Harry's asleep?" He asked, after draining half the orange juice right from the carton. It was one of his few bad habits.

"_Liam_," Zayn whined, grabbing the carton off him, "can't you pour it into a glass like a normal person? I don't want to be drinking your spit."

"Nothing wrong with my spit," Liam replied, smirking a little. "A lot of fan girls would pay insane amounts of money for it."

"That's true," Louis nodded in agreement.

Zayn pulled a truly revolted face, "That's _disgusting_, more like."

Louis nodded again, "That's _also_ true but if it's any consolation Zayn, Harry and my spit was already in there too."

"Eww!" Liam gagged and threw the carton into the bin.

"Ha ha," Zayn guffawed in reply, exchanging a high-five with Louis before resuming his manic chopping.

"So yeah, what's up with Harry? Not like him to take a nap."

Louis shrugged, "He's feeling a little under the weather today."

Liam tensed, after Louis had been ill, any ailment, no matter how small, filled him with dread. "Bad?"

"He thinks it might be a cold but I'm not too sure," Louis replied, putting his hands on his hips, "he's been looking a bit pale for a few days. Either way, I've arranged an appointment with the doctor for tomorrow morning."

Liam nodded, pleased, "Good and can I just point out how awesome it is that we can now get doctors appointments the next day instead of having to waiting at least three. I love being famous."

"I'll remember that," said Zayn, pointing the knife at him, "the next time a fan girl spies on you getting changed through the curtains."

"Oh, _hey_ Harry," Louis said suddenly, as the younger lad stumbled into the kitchen, "feeling any better?"

Harry shook his head. He looked pretty peaky to be honest and there was no doubt he was genuinely ill. Good job they didn't have another gig until the following week. That was the best thing about launching an album; you didn't have to do as many gigs to get yourself out there. The album did it for you. However, they did have quite a few important gigs over the Christmas period, so hopefully they could all get their winter bugs over before then.

Louis watched in concern as the youngest member of the band shakily took a glass from the cupboard and moved to the sink to fill it up. He seemed to struggle with pulling the tap, his hand trembling and Louis, concerned, stepped over to pull the lever for him. He then pressed his hand to Harry's forehead, checking his temperature again, "You're still hot," he murmured, "take some more paracetamol."

"Maybe in a minute…" Harry took in a small breath and sipped the water carefully. For a moment it went down like a treat, soothing his burning throat, but then, as it ran down into his gut, his stomach churned.

Seeing the colour quickly draining from Harry's face, Louis grabbed the glass and pushed his friend to the sink. Just in time.

So Harry was to suffer miserably for the next few day with a nasty dose of Tonsillitis. His throat felt thick and swollen, his ears hurt, his head throbbed, he felt constantly nauseous and the bugger of the doctor had given him inhumanly sized antibiotic capsules to swallow. Even worse, he had Louis _and_ Liam mothering him.

There was nothing more miserable than lying, shivering under a blanket on the couch, feeling incredibly ill, with a sick bucket on the floor and nothing but boring talk shows on the TV for entertainment.

Liam had forbidden Louis to sit with Harry, even though Louis had had his tonsils removed as a child, just in case his weakened immune system allowed him to catch something anyway. Still, Louis was always popping in and out with glasses of juice and bowls of soup and Harry realised how lucky he was that Louis hadn't murdered him back when their roles had been reversed. Been mothered was incredibly frustrating – especially when they tried to cheer you up while all you wanted to do was wallow in your own wretchedness.

However, by Monday he was back to feeling like his old self, if maybe slightly hoarse. Their first performance together again, since Louis first got ill, was to be on _This Morning_ with Phil and Holly, at eleven o'clock in the morning. It was a live broadcast so they were all a little nervous – especially Louis as they were singing the song that allowed him a solo at the end. It would be the second time he'd performed it in front of the public – the Arena being the one and only previous time. Hopefully, he wouldn't collapse at the end of it this time and, hopefully, he wouldn't mess it up either.

"Alright?" Zayn asked, as they waited just off the set.

Louis nodded and Zayn squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. They were to have a quick five-minute chat with the hosts first before performing their song. Louis hated waiting though - having time to think made him even more nervous.

Finally, they were ushered on to the set during an advert break and they sat down on the couch. Well… Louis sat on the couch with Harry and Niall sitting either side of him. Zayn and Liam stood behind and Louis felt Liam rub his shoulders in a soothing manner – evidently Zayn had spilled that he was nervous. He knew he was fidgeting too, he couldn't help it, but so was Harry – Harry always got so nervous too.

Holly and Phil chatted to them while they awaited the end of the commercials but Louis hardly listened, too busy going over his lyrics in his head.

"Welcome back," Phil said suddenly, making Louis jump and look up, "now we've been teasing you all morning about having One Direction in the studio and here they are!"

The whole band waved as the hosts clapped cheerfully.

"They're going to answer some of your questions and then perform _Let It Be Known_ for us from their new hit album."

"But it's a double privilege today," said Holly, beaming, "because for the first time in over two months, One Direction have all five members! That's right, Louis is well again and joining his band mates back on stage!"

Louis blushed as everyone, especially his friends cheered loudly. Harry even leaned his head into his and gave him a shoulder hug, while Liam ruffled his hair from behind.

"As most of you probably remember, Louis was rushed to hospital in a life-threatening condition after collapsing off stage at the LG Arena in Birmingham. It's been a slow road to recovery but I think I speak for everyone when I say that we are very pleased to see him now looking so well."

"Thanks," Louis murmured.

"Now," said Phil, taking over, "the last time we last saw you was actually the morning after Louis was taken ill. I don't know whether you saw the interview Louis…"

Louis shook his head, he wasn't sure he wanted to see it – none of the others had ever mentioned it.

"Do we have the clip…?" Phil was now talking to someone off camera and, after a moment's conferring, said, "Yes we do," and pointed to a screen for the boys to watch.

"_Now," said Holly, her laugh fading, "I'm sure you've all heard the heart-breaking news about Louis Tomlinson - one of the lads from the hugely successful X-Factor boy-band, One Direction. Last night he was rushed to hospital after collapsing backstage at the LG Arena. Since then he has remained in a critical condition."_

"_Yes," Phil nodded, "the poor lad. One Direction were actually scheduled to stop by our studio this morning for a chat but, under the circumstances, it is understandable why they have had to cancel. However, we received a phone call from them earlier to say they would be willing to talk to us for a few minutes live from the hospital."_

"_Which is really decent of them considering the circumstances," said Holly. _

"_Indeed," Phil agreed, "So we're going to link up to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham right now, where Harry, Liam, Niall and Zayn have been sitting with Louis all night in the ICU. Good morning boys."_

"_Good morning," the boys murmured from where they sat in a private waiting room. Harry was curled up protectively under Liam's arm, shuddering and hiding his face into the older boy's arm, while Niall and Zayn sat quietly beside them, both looking shattered. "We appreciate you talking to us," said Phil soothingly. "You're obviously very upset and worried sick over Louis so, firstly, are there any updates as to his condition? Have the doctors made a diagnosis yet?"_

_Liam was the one who spoke, his voice rough, and he tightened his grip around Harry when the younger lad let out a small hitch. "We've actually just spoken to the doctor – I think our manager is updating our website as we speak. They're treating Louis for septicaemia as a complication of a major kidney infection."_

_Holly and Phil gasped: Holly with a hand over her mouth and Phil shaking his head in genuine horror._

"_He's still in intensive care and will be for the next few days," Liam added, "there have been some touch and go moments… but the doctors now seem positive that he should respond well to treatment. They've started him on a course of antibiotics, oxygen therapy and fluids."_

"_Has he regained consciousness at all?" Phil asked._

"_No," Zayn replied mulishly, "He's been unconscious since he collapsed."_

"_And how are you all coping?" Holly asked kindly, "You look exhausted."_

"_It's hard…" Niall replied before looking away, unable to continue. Liam touched his knee soothing and said,_

"_It's hard to see Louis so sick. He's like a brother to us, the glue that holds us all together," he swallowed, "I don't think any of us have slept at all – I don't think any of us can until he wakes up. We've sort of camped out in his room… driving the nurses crazy."_

"_It's wonderful that you're all there to support him," said Holly with a small smile, "it's obvious to see how much you've bonded since X-Factor. I take it you will be cancelling the rest of the Birmingham concert dates? Most people seem to be assuming that the weekend will definitely be cancelled."_

_Liam, Niall and Zayn all looked at each other._

"_We haven't cancelled anything yet," Zayn replied slowly. "we don't want to let the fans down. Louis would hurt us if we did and he's got a very hard punch. But… obviously he won't be there and fans will have to wait a bit longer to hear his solo. But… the four of us will just try our best to make sure the fans still enjoy the show."_

"_That's great," Holly replied, "and thank you for taking the time to talk to us. You are obviously very upset so we won't keep you from Louis's side any longer. All the best to your friend, we hope he has a speedy recovery."_

"_Yeah, all the best boys," Phil echoed._

_As the link disappeared, Holly dabbed her eyes, "oh that was just heart-breaking. Did you see their little faces?"_

"_Clearly devastated about their band mate," Phil nodded, "it's nice to see that they genuinely care about each other."_

_Holly shook her head, "and poor Harry couldn't stop crying, bless him."_

Louis's throat had seized up. His gaze had frozen on Harry, tucked up under Liam's arm. He looked completely devastated and, Louis's chest ached piercingly, he was so touched to see how much his friend obviously cared for him. Sure, he'd always known Harry cared for him but it was one thing to see it to his face and another thing to see it continued behind his back. Something huge and achy was building in his heart, some emotion that he couldn't name… the love he felt for the younger boy, oh he just wanted to…

He turned and hugged Harry for all he was worth.

Burying his head into Harry's neck, he dimly thought this would be a moment that would probably spawn ten thousand icons and Youtube videos but… he didn't care. Live TV be damned.

The others just let it happen and nobody tried to end the hug prematurely, which Louis was quite grateful for. He wasn't sure whether it was Harry or himself crying – probably him – but he didn't want to share their emotion with the camera and half the world.

Eventually, they did pull away and took a moment to straighten themselves up, Harry scrubbing his eyes with his sleeve.

Holly smiled at Louis when he finally looked back at her, "I can see how much that affected you to see your friends so upset."

Louis nodded, "I… I'm not quite sure what to say. I love these guys so much and their support while I was ill was absolutely amazing. I really owe them so much. They came to the hospital every day and kept me entertained. Then they put up with me being frustrated when I was stuck indoors for weeks afterwards. I'm just so sorry I put them through all that worry."

"You were worth every moment of it," said Harry sincerely, his eyes shining. Louis really tried not to melt into the seat, he really did.

Liam leant forward and joked, "And that soppy line has probably just broke Twitter."

Holly laughed loudly, "Oh you boys are just… so adorable! You're so close to each other, so honest and genuine and it's a beautiful thing to behold. Do you _ever_ fight?"

"Um…" the five of them looked at each other in amusement, biting their cheeks and trying not to grin like idiots. _Of course_ they fought.

"Yeah," Liam admitted, "occasionally. But it's never anything major." True.

"Usually about leaving the house a mess," Niall offered, "or someone forgetting to replace the toilet roll… just little things like that."

"But we never stay mad at each other for long," said Harry, with a smile, throwing his arm around Louis's shoulder again and squeezing him affectionately. Louis smiled back – probably looking like a complete fool.

"Who squabbles the most?" Phil asked with a grin.

"Um…" Louis bit his lip, "most likely Harry and Liam." He pointed to his friends.

"That's probably true," Liam conceded, sharing a nod with Harry.

"Liam's a neat freak and I'm not," Harry supplied, "he's also very sensible whereas I… can be a little oblivious… but like I said, we can't stay mad at each other for long." He looked up and shared a smile with Liam.

"You are all living in the same house, aren't you?" They nodded, "So," Holly continued, "who does all the housework like the cooking and the cleaning?"

"We take turns," said Liam. "Though I think I tend to do most of the tidying."

"Harry and I like to do most of the messing!" grinned Louis, wrapping an arm around Harry's shoulder, so that their arms crossed in the middle.

"Very true," Liam nodded, "as for cooking, most of us can cook alright,"

"Except me," said Niall.

"Except you," agreed Liam, reaching forward and ruffling the Irish lad's blonde hair.

"I happen to think you make great baked beans on toast," Louis protested, pulling a face and making Niall giggle.

"When he doesn't burn the toast," Harry added, with a straight face.

"Niall's the only one I've met who can set rice on fire," put in Zayn, as he reached over to ruffle the Irish lad's hair too.

"Kitchens and I don't really get on," Niall admitted.

"Okay," said Holly, laughing, "and now for the awkward question. Are any of you still single?"

The boys all looked at each other; girls and relationships were something they didn't have a lot of time for, despite what the tabloids reported.

"I'm sort of seeing a girl," confessed Zayn, "but the other guys are single."

"We don't have a lot of time to pursue a relationship," said Liam seriously, "we work a lot – sometimes up to fifteen hours a day. Obviously with Louis being sick recently we've had some extra down time but we used that to relax and unwind – remind ourselves what it's like to be normal."

"I think most of us are practically in a relationship with the band anyway," Harry added, before grinning and blushing over his words. "If you get what I mean!" He added hastily as the others started catcalling, "We work together, eat together, play together, live together… sometimes even sleep in the same room. It's hard to let someone outside into that sort of situation."

"Harry's right," Louis nodded, "now's not an easy time for us to start relationships. I'm sure when everything calms down we'll get the chance to start dating. We've got all our lives ahead of us – plenty of time to have a career, find a partner and settle down."  
"So wise and so young," Phil chuckled, "okay, one last question before you perform for us. Have you got any gigs lined up for Christmas?"

"Yes," Liam nodded, "if you check out our website then you can see everything we will be doing for the next few months."

"Don't forget to tune in to The National Hero Awards on the 27th," Harry added, staring into the camera, "We will be performing on stage with quite a few amazing stars and it's all for an amazing cause."

"You heard it folks," said Phil, "and now, performing the song _Let it be Known_ from their new album, it's One Direction."

They quickly took their places behind the five microphones and the familiar music started to swell. Louis caught Harry's eye and smiled with a wink, Harry smiled back.

"No one remembers quite like I" Liam sang,

"How you always walked

with your head held high

Never one to admit your fears

Building walls to protect your tears"

Harry; "And you laughed (you laughed – Zayn) through your pain

Like to show weakness was insane"

Niall; "you never put your heart on the line"

All: So, let it be known

You were never honest

Let it be known

You were too scared to feel

Let it be known

You were afraid of yourself

And let it be known

You were never real

Zayn; "You couldn't trust anybody, with your soul or your mind

You thought being resilient was better than defined

Niall; To love was to feel and to feel was to hurt

And hurting in your eyes was like swimming in dirt"

All: So, let it be known

You were never honest

Let it be known

You were too scared to feel

Let it be known

You were afraid of yourself

And let it be known

You were never real

Louis; What is comes down to is you squandered your life

Fearing rejection like it was some kind of knife

Ready to pierce you like a hammer to bone

In the end it just left you to die all alone

All: So, let it be known

You were never honest

Let it be known

You were too scared to feel

Let it be known

You were afraid of yourself

And let it be known

You were never real

**Five days later…**

Maiden's parties were always something of a legend and none more, so it seemed, than their Christmas bash. Most people couldn't even remember the last one – or least, they could remember arriving but they couldn't remember leaving. At least this time, all the members of One Direction were actually legal to drink so there was no need for an epic plan to sneak the under-aged drunks past the press. Niall and Liam seemed to be taking this as some kind of order to consume their weight in alcohol and were currently entertaining the crowd with some hilariously bad dancing. Aiden was filming it (a little unsteadily) – no doubt to entertain the Twitters tomorrow.

Louis and Harry were sprawled on a couch, happily watching the goings on. Neither of them had had much to drink yet. Louis didn't want to put his healing kidneys under too much strain and Harry… well… Harry just wasn't in the mood for having a hangover the next morning. After the tonsillitis, the last thing he wanted was to be ill again. Also, he was kind of exhausted from all the gigs they'd been doing this week so he was totally digging just chilling right here, tucked up under Louis's strong arm.

"Woohoo!" Zayn suddenly jumped onto the couch from nowhere – nearly flattening the pair. "This party is Wickeeeeeeeeed!" He yelled out.

Louis laughed as he leaned to the right so that Zayn could slot between himself and Harry. "Howz it going my bros?"

Harry rolled his eyes as he shuffled over, "You're not real," he accused, a little disgruntled at losing his place next to Louis, "Who even actually speaks like that?"

"Oooh Harry – you wound meee."

Louis leaned back and caught Harry's eye, "I think someone's going to be even more wounded in the morning."

Harry laughed and took another sip of his coke.

Loud chanting suddenly caught their attention and Matt's head appeared over those of the crowd currently watching the last two members of One Direction making fools of themselves.

"Guys, you've got to check this out!"

Sharing a look of intrigue, Harry and Louis jumped off the couch, dragging Zayn with them over to their host. What they saw made their jaws drop.

"Holy crap!" Louis whistled, eyes wide.

"Am I really seeing what I think I'm seeing?" Harry asked faintly.

They stared at Niall and Liam, who had clearly just began a game of gay chicken. Niall's lips were puckered and he was squinting as though he couldn't watch what was coming. Liam's eyes were well and truly screwed closed and he had a hell of a death grip on Niall's shoulder.

"They're never going to…" Louis trailed off, unable to take his eyes from their friends. Niall was clearly giggling, his cheeks brilliant red. Liam's descent towards Niall was stuttering now too. "It's like watching a car crash…" said Louis weakly, "… truly horrific but yet you can't quite take your eyes away."

"How much is at stake?" Harry shouted across to Matt.

Matt turned and grinned at him, "Fifty quid!"

Harry glanced at Louis and smirked, "Bets?"

Louis paused and studied their friends, "Liam," he decided, seeing how Liam's whole face was screwed up now and his shoulders were shaking.

"Niall," Harry replied as he turned back to watch.

Despite their obvious discomfit, however, neither Niall nor Liam seemed to be backing down. Their lips got to within an inch and everyone collectively held their breath. One of them was going to pull back any moment…

Liam's shoulders relaxed but instead of pulling back, like everyone initially thought, he pushed forward, smashing his lips against Niall's. Niall flailed, obviously shocked by the move but he didn't pull back either. _Hell, both of them must want that fifty quid pretty badly_, Louis thought as he and Harry looked on open mouthed. It was both disturbing and yet kind of endearing to behold. It was kind of a careful kiss, despite it's fast beginning, as though they cared enough to treat each other with respect. One part of Louis was screaming 'argh, my eyes, that's so gross' while the other part was thinking, 'that's kind of hot too… in a really weird way'.

"Please tell me I am not watching Liam and Niall kiss," whined Harry from beside him, sounding completely disturbed, and Louis laughed.

"I wish I could mate… oh my _GOD_!"

Liam had just wrapped his hands around the back of Niall's head to hold him steady, which was oddly hot, and, then, it was clear to all, that, Niall had reciprocated by _opening his mouth_.

Harry's hands flew to his own mouth, "Jesus Christ, I really am watching two of my best friends – _male_ best friends – tonguing each other."

"One of them has got to pull back soon…" said Louis in awe, then his eyes widened even further, "Holy cow!" Liam's hand slid down from Niall's head to grab his right buttock.

"I can't watch, I can't watch," Harry chanted, now hiding his face in his hands.

"My god, I didn't think Liam had it in him," gasped Louis, genuinely impressed.

"What are they doing now?" Harry asked from behind his hands, "has one of them pulled back yet?"

"No…" replied Louis, standing on tiptoe, "Niall's reaching down and… and… _oh Jesus_ I am _not_ seeing this…"

Harry peeked out the corner of his hands towards Louis, "seeing what?" He couldn't help but ask, "What's happening?"

"Niall…" Louis found it difficult to say the words, "Niall now has his hand down the back of Liam's jeans…"

"_What_?" Harry squeaked, screwing his eyes closed again.

"And Liam… Liam… is pressing… into him… and they're… they're… they're rubbing… and… and… holy Jesus, someone STOP them!"

Harry awoke feeling cold, stiff, sore and desperate for a pee. Shivering, he opened his eyes and realised that he was definitely not in his own bed. No, he was on the floor, somewhere, with his head pillowed on some person's jean-clad, bony lap. He pushed at the jacket that was covering his shoulders and gingerly sat up. The first thing he saw were table legs and chairs and a whole load of empty bottles and spillages. Groaning quietly, he cracked his neck and massaged the aching muscles. That must have been some party last night, and, as the memories came flooding back, he realised it _had_ been. Around the room, there were other bodies snoozing in various odd positions and he could just make out Zayn crashed on the sofa – could hear him snoring too.

Glancing back to the person who had been his human pillow, he saw it was Louis – propped up against the wall, fast asleep with his head resting uncomfortably against a cupboard. There was a slight smile on his lips, as though he was dreaming of good things. Harry couldn't help but smile too, as his heart skipped a beat. Louis looked so young and innocent asleep – and pretty too. Harry then mentally slapped himself; those thoughts were the kind he was supposed to be pretending he didn't have.

Shuffling onto his knees, he carefully draped the coat over Louis's chest and shoulders before getting to his feet. He really needed to find the bathroom – and pronto.

Once he'd relieved himself, Harry wandered into the kitchen where the delicious aroma of frying bacon made his stomach rumble. Matt looked up from the hob and smiled,

"Harry," he greeted cheerfully – too cheerfully for someone who had consumed as much alcohol as Matt had the night before, "bacon sarnie, mate?"

"You read my mind," Harry replied with a grin, walking over to the coffee pot and helping himself, "so where's Aiden?"

"Ack, you won't see him before noon," said Matt, with a vague wave of his hand, "maybe not even then… did you have a good time last night? You and Louis seemed a little quiet."

"Sorry," Harry shrugged, "neither of us felt like drinking much, not with Louis being so ill recently and me just had tonsillitis. But we had a great time anyway."

"I'm glad," replied Matt genially, "so how is Louis? I mean it wasn't like he just had a nasty bout of the flu - something like sepsis must leave a bit of a mark."

Harry sighed, "I think he's okay, I really do. He gets tired easily still and he's not as bouncy as he was but I think that'll all come back in time."

"And what about you?" Matt cast him a knowing glance over his shoulder, "How are you coping now that Louis's on the mend?"

"I'm fine," said Harry, but it didn't sound one iota of convincing at all.

Matt sighed, "Can I offer you a piece of advice, mate?" He said as he flipped the rashers.

Harry looked up, cautiously interested, "Yeah?"  
Matt turned and regarded him carefully, chewing his lip for a second, "when something major, like that, happens in your life, it can make you feel things you never expected to feel. It can make you _do_ things you never expected you'd _do_ and it can make you _want_ things you never expected to _want_. Sometimes, this is just an automatic reaction and these things can be left in the past... but, sometimes, they are a wake-up call – your head telling you to sit up and pay attention to something very important. Whether it's a reaction or a warning, you should never run from these things because they'll always catch up with you in the end, when you're least prepared. That can cause even more problems. Not being honest about something can often be worse for a relationship than whatever it is you're trying to hide."

Harry's heart was beating a mile a minute in trepidation and his hands shook as he stared up at 29 year old. "How… how did you know?" He croaked.

"Know what?" replied Matt coyly, cocking an eyebrow, "I'm just talking in general."

"Oh…" Harry's stomach dropped with relief. He felt a little breathless and weak. The incident between Louis and himself on the bed (about a month ago now) was something he wasn't even ready to think about himself let alone talk about to someone else.

"But, if there _is_ something you would like to talk about, I'm right here mate, you know that, yeah?"

"I…" Harry's words were halted by the appearance of none other than Louis, in the kitchen doorway. He looked a little frazzled – eyes half-shut, clothes rumpled and hair sticking up in odd directions. _So adorable_… Harry sighed, inwardly. Then he realised just what he was thinking and his elbows slipped off the table in shock – nearly braining his head onto the tiled surface. What the hell had gotten into him! Since when did he go around thinking guys were adorable? Christ on a stick…

"Man," Louis yawned, rubbing his neck and squinting, "I had the _weirdest_ dream ever. Aiden was singing and stripping along to Bad Romance on the pool table while Zayn performed inappropriate and illegal things with the pool cue. Niccolo and Wagner later joined in with the stripping and revealed they were both wearing lime-green mankinis." He shuddered violently, "And if that wasn't disturbing enough, _Liam_ and _Niall_ practically got each other off in front of everyone, having failed to remember that in gay chicken, someone is actually meant to lose."

"It-" Harry started to say but Louis held his hand up, screwing up his eyes.

"If you are about to tell me that it actually _did_ happen, please _don't_. I can't deal with that level of crazy until I've had about three cups of coffee... maybe even four."

Laughing, Harry pushed the coffee pot towards him.

"I have to admit," Matt chuckled, dropping a sandwich filled plate in front of Harry, "I never thought Liam had it in him. And with _Niall_ of all people. If it was going to be with anyone I would have guessed Zayn."

Louis rubbed his neck again, ruefully, "I kind of wish they hadn't though. The image is burned into my retinas."

"I thought it was kind of sweet," Matt shrugged.

"Maybe for you," said Harry, "but to us it was like…" He looked to Louis for help finding a good comparison.

"Watching our parents go at it," Louis supplied, wincing as he twisted his neck around awkwardly, trying to release the pressure. "I love Liam and I love Niall, I really do, but there are some things I just don't want to see them doing."

"Because they're guys?" Matt asked, raising an eyebrow in surprise – he never took either of the lads to be homophobic.

"Nah," Harry shook his head, "I have no problems with guys making out with each other… it's just, would you want to watch your brother making out with someone, like your best friend?"

Matt cringed and nodded his head, "I see your point."

"The question now is," said Louis, grimacing now as he continued to massage his poor aching neck, "what's the damage? They were absolutely plastered but that's not going to stop them feeling awkward this morning. It might have been funny last night but there's a very good chance it may have damaged their friendship."

"They might be alright," suggested Matt, "they might just laugh it off."

Harry and Louis stared at him, as if he'd lost his head, "Matt, haven't you met our Liam Payne, the King of Angst?" said Louis.

"Or Niall, our Baron of the Beamers?" added Harry.

"We'll be lucky to get them in the same room let alone to talk to each other…" Louis sighed, "I have a feeling we're going to have a few problems when they wake up."

"I guess it's their turn," Harry murmured, "we've been hogging the limelight recently." He shared a small private smile with Louis before taking another bite from his sandwich – willing his stomach to stop fluttering, it was only a smile.

Louis groaned softly and put his head to the table, "remind me, next time, that sleeping on the floor is a bad idea."

"Your neck sore?" Matt asked, moving around the table to put his hands on Louis's shoulders, squeezing them gently.

"Yeah, right up here," Louis pointed to an area high up on his neck.

"Want me to crack it?" Matt asked, pressing his thumb carefully against the point Louis indicated.

Louis eyed him warily, "_Crack_ it? Do you know how to do that? Because I don't want you snapping my neck or something."

"I won't do that," Matt chuckled, placing his hands around the base of Louis's skull, thumbs digging into his neck, "my cousin's a chiropractor and she taught me a few things. Comes in handy, I tell you. Now relax."

"Relax?" Louis blanched, "how do you expect me to do that? You've got your hands around my neck, about to snap it and…"

_Crack, pop, pop, pop_. Matt tilted Louis's neck sharply. "Aghhhhhhh," Louis wailed, almost as an afterthought. Harry paled and put down his sandwich – suddenly feeling very queasy.

Matt kept a steady grip on Louis's head, "Okay?" he asked after a few seconds.

Louis squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself to relax and stop shuddering. To his surprise, the pain in his neck had gone, "Yeah…" he breathed. Matt slowly took his hands away and Louis gave his neck a tentative twist. It moved freely and without a twinge, "Wow."

"I know," Matt smirked, knuckling Louis's head affectionately, "I'm damn good, aren't I?"

Louis laughed and shoved him off, "Thanks." He then looked at Harry's half-eaten sandwich, "you not eating that?"

Harry shook his head, "not hungry anymore," he said faintly.

"Pass it over then." Harry did so, sliding the plate across the table. For some reason he couldn't help but stare in fascination at Louis's mouth as his friends calmly finished off the sandwich without even cutting away the bits where he'd had bitten into it. His saliva was probably soaked into the bread… was that totally disgusting… or…?

"You're staring," Matt whispered suddenly in his ear and Harry jumped, blushing hotly. He snapped his head up to stare at the older man, his heart in his throat. Matt just winked at him and walked away to the fridge, leaving Harry's heart hammering at the thought that maybe Matt _did know_, after all.

**Three days after Maiden's Party…**

Harry sighed when Louis jumped off the sofa and dropped the X Box controller to the coffee table with a clatter. He did the same. "We gonna talk to them, then?" He asked, knowing this had been coming for days.  
Louis nodded grimly, "Yeah, I can't stand it any longer, which one do you want to take?"  
"I guess I'll be better off with Niall," said Harry, "Liam's not so likely to take me seriously."  
"Fair dos." Louis nodded, biting his lip, "Rendezvous in twenty minutes?"  
"Yeah," they slapped palms and headed up the stairs - before splitting separate ways at the top.  
"Good luck," Louis called over his shoulder and Harry smiled.  
Niall's room was at the end of the hallway and had a big picture of Michael Buble on the door with a hand drawn sign underneath saying 'Niall's Room'. He fidgeted nervously outside the door for a few moments as he wasn't entirely comfortable with this role as mediator. _Liam_ was always the best at the consoling thing but seeing as Liam was one of the needy parties... it was unfortunately up to him to try his hand and smoothing things over. Plus, Louis was counting on him and Harry never could stand to let Louis down – sap that he was. Moreover, this was _Niall_. Harry had never seen Niall so upset before – at least not at someone in the band. At least with Liam, Harry had had his own experiences at being at odds with him so he knew what to expect. Niall had never been at odds with anyone, not like this, and, considering the nature of the problem… this was probably going to be a _really_ awkward talk.  
He was also curious about the awkwardness though; yeah, he'd expected them both to be embarrassed… but the way they were acting you'd think they'd done something more serious than just play a stupid game of drunken gay chicken. ]  
The next morning Niall had fled the kitchen as soon as Liam had stepped inside and Liam, upon seeing Niall, had looked like a deer caught in the headlights before fleeing too - in the opposite direction. From there, both had found their own way home and shut themselves in their respective rooms, refusing to speak to anyone. This silence had now been going on for several days and they were all tired of the uncomfortable atmosphere in the house. They had had gigs these last two nights too and even the fans had been commenting on the awkward air between them all.  
Tonight, Zayn had attempted to try to talk to Liam several times but to no avail. Harry had no idea what happened the last time he tried but Zayn went storming out of the house in a towering rage. Liam and Zayn never argued; they were as close as Harry was to Louis, so the anger was all way too unsettling for Harry to stomach.  
Taking a deep breath, he chapped on the door and then slowly pushed it open. Niall was sitting slumped at his desk; Ipod phones in, head resting wearily in his hand and was glumly plodding away at his keyboard. Stepping inside, Harry closed the door firmly behind him and walked towards the desk.  
Niall caught Harry's movements out the corner of his eye and pulled out his earphones, "Harry?" he asked warily, a flush creeping up his neck. He couldn't quite meet Harry's eyes.  
"Hey Niall, I…" Harry struggled to think of something clever to say, "uh… think we should have a chat." Yeah, that was _so_ lame; Harry was embarrassed for _himself_.  
Niall's face went redder and he scratched idly at some random mark on his desk, "If it's about what I think it is then, _no_. God _no_. I just want to forget that it ever happened." He squeezed his eyes closed, "Jesus Christ," he groaned, banging his head down onto the wood, "I am soooo humiliated, how the hell am I meant to look Liam in the eye now?"  
Harry smiled, finding it vaguely amusing that, although his friend didn't want to talk about it, he had already started talking about it anyway. He took a seat on the edge of Niall's bed, silently approving of the Power Rangers duvet set. "I don't think it's a big deal, mate. It was only a game of gay chicken. Lots of guys do it. I used to do it with my school friends all the time."  
Niall's head raised a little, to look back at him, "Are you _kidding_ me? Harry, if it was just a stupid kiss I wouldn't care! But… I put my hand down his pants. My _hand_ down his _pants_. _Liam's_ pants." He groaned in mortal pain and burrowed his bright red face back into the table.

Harry tried not to grimace at the image of Niall with his hand down Liam's pants and was proud he found the balls to say, "Liam didn't seem to mind."  
The noise Niall made at that sounded painful.

"Seriously mate," said Harry, as soothingly as he could, "you were both drunk. It was just a bit of fun. If you're really that worried about what Liam thinks, why don't you just go and talk to him? I'm sure he'll laugh and just tell you to forget about it."  
Niall sat up looking horrified, "There's no way," he shrank backwards, eyes wide, shaking his head, "I am talking to Liam. No way in hell! _Never_."  
"Why?" asked Harry, rather bewildered. _Jesus, it was only a drunken game, why was Niall being so ridiculous!_  
"Because I _can't_," Niall wailed, covering his face.  
"Seriously, it was _just_ a game of gay chicken, Niall!" Harry cried, wondering how many times he was going to have to say it in order to get the message through to his friend. "You both got a little carried away, sure, but it was totally harmless. It was funny and we stopped you before you took it too far!"  
"No you didn't…" Niall's voice was so quiet Harry nearly didn't hear him and Niall suddenly looked horrified – as though he hadn't meant to say that at all. Harry frowned and stared hard at his Irish friend, who was now hiding his whole face in his hands. His shoulders had slumped and he curled inwards, the embarrassment morphing into genuine upset.  
"What do you mean _no we didn't_?" Harry asked carefully, reigning in his mind before it started making dangerous conclusions.  
Niall didn't reply and his shoulders started to shake. Alarmed to see Niall getting so upset; Harry jumped to his feet and walked over to his friend. He then knelt down and touched Niall's knees gently. "Niall?" He entreated. "What's going on?" He squeezed Niall's thigh gently and bit his lip when Niall sniffed. "Come on, you can tell me," he soothed.  
It took a few moments but then Niall whispered, still hiding his face, "You didn't _stop us_."  
Harry's mind let loose and whirled furiously; what was Niall trying to say? Was he suggesting that they didn't stop them early enough? Should they have stepped in after the first mouth-to-mouth contact? That was probably fair, maybe they should have done – he and Louis had been perfectly sober and should have known better. Niall and Liam had been absolutely plastered and were at the mercy of a suggestive crowd – a crowd that didn't know them very well.  
"Where…" Harry began, about to ask where they should have drawn the line but Niall cut across him with,  
"In the music room."  
It took a few moments for Harry's head to work out how _that_ had anything to do with his question and, when it finally dawned on him - what Niall was trying to say - his mind whited out.  
"No _way_…" he whispered, hands flying to his mouth, utterly floored.

~*~

Counting to three in his head first, Louis knocked on Liam's door. As expected, there was no reply. He pushed the door open and immediately saw that the curtains were closed and that Liam was in his bed with the duvet over his head. The bedside lamp was on though and, knowing Liam couldn't sleep with a light on, Louis knew his friend was awake and hiding.  
"Liam?"  
"Go away," came the muffled reply.  
Rolling his eyes, Louis pushed the door backwards behind him and it fell just short of closing. Ignoring it, he walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge, patting the big lump.  
"You can't stay under there forever."  
"Watch me," Liam muttered.  
"You're being ridiculous," said Louis, with a smile, "it was only a game of gay chicken. Everyone thought it was hilarious – nothing to be embarrassed about. It was actually quite impressive actually; I didn't think you had it in you mate!"  
"Louis," Liam whined, "will you please just go away!"  
"Not until you stop being so silly," he chuckled, grabbing the duvet and yanking it hard. He grinned down as Liam's annoyed face came into view. Then something caught his eye. He stared down at Liam's neck and his eyes widened, "Jesus, Payne, is that a _hickey_?" There was a (slightly fading) large purple bruise mottling the skin, roughly the size of a 50p coin.  
Liam's face went white and he grabbed at his throat, trying to hide it. Louis laughed in disbelief, "who gave you _that_?"  
For a moment, Liam looked frozen in horror but then his face went completely blank and he replied, evenly, "No one."  
Something about the way he said it made Louis's hackles rise, "Liam," he said seriously, "who gave you that hickey?"  
"No one," Liam replied, coldly.  
Louis did not like Liam's tone one bit; there was something off here.  
"Liam," he ground out, "_tell me_."  
"No."  
"_Liam_."  
"I said _no_!" Liam glared furiously at him, which would have been intimidating if he hadn't looked like a cornered rabbit.  
"There's nothing to be scared of," said Louis softly, reaching out to brush Liam's fringe back.  
"You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about," Liam retorted harshly, moving away, "so just drop it and leave me alone."  
"No," Louis was a stubborn bugger if he was anything, "why won't you tell me?"  
Liam didn't answer so Louis answered for him, "Well, I can only think of two reasons why you won't tell me. One, it might hurt me or, two, you think I might take the mick." He paused to gauge Liam's reaction and saw his friend's teeth clench. Yes, he was right. "Considering it's been ages," he continued, thinking aloud, "since I last had a girlfriend and none of them were at the party last night, I think we can rule out the first reason. That means you think I might take the mick... Oh God, it wasn't Cher was it?"  
Liam rolled his eyes and Louis breathed a sigh of relief. If it had been Cher then they would probably have to seek out psychiatric help for their Wolverhampton friend – and possibly a trip down to the GUM clinic as well… Louis shuddered.  
So, if it wasn't Cher, who else could it be? For some reason, Louis felt he was missing something… something that was staring him blatantly in the face… Thinking hard, he tried to join the dots; Niall and Liam were avoiding each other like the plague, Liam was now sporting a hickey, which didn't correspond to anything that happened in the game, the person who gave it to him was someone Liam was afraid to name and… Then it dawned on Louis…. how everything could potentially join up… _Holy shit… but there was no way… absolutely no way…_ _that was too… absurd…_ He let out a long shaky breath, "Liam," he said, slowly and carefully, feeling himself trembling, but deliberately not taking his eyes from his friend's face. "I'm going to ask you something and I want you to be completely honest." He watched as all the colour drained from Liam's cheeks, they both knew what was coming next, "did… did something happen between you and Niall _after_ the game?"  
Liam didn't need to say anything, his expression of excruciating pain said it all.  
"Oh… my… God," Louis breathed out, "oh my god… I… I…" he swallowed thickly and pinched his nose, feeling suddenly dizzy, "I… oh God…how… how _bad_ are we talking?"  
"Pretty bad," Liam whispered.  
Louis screwed his eyes closed; oh, this was so much worse than he'd expected – this wasn't going to be a quick fix-up. "Are we talking full on, half on or some over-friendly petting?"  
"Half on, I guess," said Liam, finding his duvet very fascinating, "We didn't… you know… go _all_ the way. Thank God."  
Louis let out a long shaky breath, unable to believe what he was hearing, "How on earth did it even happen?"  
Liam's face grew steadily redder and he started to play with a stray thread, "Um… the details are a little hazy… the alcohol and all that…"  
"But you remember some things?" Louis pressed.  
Liam nodded, "I remember… we went to the toilet and on the way back we started to debate about who had won the game - since we'd been wrenched apart instead of one of us pulling away. God, it's so cliché… I think… I think Niall said something along the lines of 'well the only way to settle this is a rematch'… we somehow ended up in Matt's music room. Unghhhh…" Liam groaned, burrowing his head in his hands, "God, I was so drunk. What the hell was I thinking?"  
"So you had a rematch?" said Louis slowly, "How did that end in…" he couldn't say it but he knew Liam understood anyway.  
"I don't know," Liam whispered, "one minute we were just kissing and Niall was giggling, the next thing I know I had pushed him up against the door and we were…"  
Liam whined pitifully and buried his head into his duvet again.  
"You were…?" Louis repeated, quietly.  
"Gessin eet ozer ff," Liam wailed, his voice muffled.  
"_What_?" Louis yanked away the covers and stared down at his friend in shock.  
Liam stared back up at him, truly miserable. And suddenly, Louis didn't know where to put his eyes, "Oh my God," he muttered, yet again, "How… _how_ did that _happen _Liam? I mean, y_ou and Niall_? I just… I can't believe you two… you know… out of all of us I would _never_ have guessed…"  
"I can't believe it either… it's like some nightmare I can't wake up from," said Liam forlornly, wrapping his arms around his chest.  
"A nightmare?" Louis raised an eyebrow, "was it that bad? With Niall I mean?"  
Liam bit his lip and curled up into himself further, "No…"  
Louis sighed and slid further up the bed, closer to his friend, "Come on Liam, you can talk to me."  
"It was okay! Alright!" Liam spat, "It was… okay."  
Louis nodded, mostly to himself; now they were getting somewhere. "So, you enjoyed it?"  
"It's what I just said, isn't it?" Liam muttered.  
"Huh…" Louis nodded, "so… does that mean you're gay?"  
"NO!" Liam shouted, "No! I… at least I don't think so. I've never looked at another guy before… No, I can't be gay. I like _girls_." He said the last bit more like he was trying to convince himself than Louis.  
"Is it possible you could like both?" asked Louis, carefully.  
Liam looked doubtful.  
"But," Louis continued, "you enjoyed being with Niall?"  
Liam hesitated before nodding, "It was… nice."  
"Would you do it again if the opportunity arose?" Louis had to force himself to keep looking at his friend; the discomfit he was feeling was unbelievable.  
"Uh…" Liam looked torn, "I… I don't know."  
"What about another guy?"  
"Huh?" Liam squinted at him.  
"What if another guy were to come on to you? Would you try it?" Louis asked.  
"I… I don't know."  
"Have you ever kissed another guy before?" Louis pressed.  
"No…"  
"Then how do you know you're not gay?" said Louis, waving his arms around in wild gesture.  
"I…"  
"Kiss me."  
"_What_," Liam looked staggered, his eyes wide and mouth open.  
"Kiss me," Louis repeated, having no idea what he was doing but going with the flow anyway. "I'm a guy. Kiss me. See if you like it."  
"I can't just…"  
Louis grabbed Liam's jaw in his hands and pulled him forward, smashing their lips together. It was beyond weird. Liam's lips were dry but kind of pouty – slightly firmer than a girl's. Louis didn't feel any sort of 'wow' spark but that didn't stop him. He changed the angle and licked firmly, encouraging Liam to open his mouth. Liam flailed but Louis was persistent. He kept a firm hold of his friend's head, not allowing him to back away. Liam had no choice but to give in and open his mouth. Without letting himself think about what he was doing, Louis slipped his tongue inside and rubbed it against Liam's. It wasn't bad exactly. Liam was quite shy and his movements tentative. Desperately trying not to think about how he was sharing spit with his male band mate, Louis tried to find the positives of the kiss. Liam's tongue was a little rough, which was… different… and he tasted of sherbet, which was somewhat weird but kind of pleasant too. To be honest, it wasn't completely different from kissing a girl, although the feel of stubble under his palms was definitely strange. There was also no butterflies and… he was a little bored. He pulled back, managing not to make a face at the small string of saliva that float between their parted lips.  
"Anything?" He asked.  
Liam looked a little shell shocked but he shook his head, "No… that was… _weird_."  
"Tell me about it," Louis muttered, thinking he deserved a drink after this, "so Niall felt different? Better?"  
Liam blushed and nodded with a wince. Louis sighed, "I won't take that as a slight on my kissing skills."  
Liam opened his mouth to say something but Louis held up his hand to quiet him. "Okay, so although one little experiment doesn't tell us much about your place on the Kinsey Scale, we can at least draw one conclusion."  
"Which is?" asked Liam morosely.  
Louis just smiled.

~*~

Harry came down the stairs, feeling a little unsteady. He had not been prepared in the slightest for what Niall revealed to him. Stumbling into the kitchen, he was surprised to see Louis throwing back a glass of… _whiskey_? He didn't even know they had that stuff in the house.  
"Should you be drinking that?" He asked, a little concerned. Louis' kidneys were still healing.  
"Trust me," said Louis grimly, looking up at him, "I've earned this thrice over."  
"Yeah," said Harry nodding and taking the glass from him, "so have I." He poured another measure into it and tossed it back in a one go. It burned hotly and it took all his will power not to cough it back up. However, it also had a nice numbing effect, which gave him some relief from the shock. His voice was hoarse when he spoke next, "So we've got a problem."  
"Yep, a major problem," Louis agreed, eyeing the bottle again.  
"Liam told you what happened afterward?"  
Louis nodded grimly, "In a roundabout way. Niall told you I gather?"  
"Yeah."  
"So," Louis slumped into a seat at the table with a sigh, "how did Niall feel about it?"  
"Confused," replied Harry, taking a seat opposite him.  
"Confused as in, he enjoyed it but is freaked out about the fact it was Liam and he's not gay?"  
Harry nodded, "Yep."  
"Liam's the exact same."  
"So what do we do?"  
Louis sighed again, "There's only one thing we can do - in everyone's interest. We leave them to find their way back to each other." When Harry looked at him surprised, Louis added, "Something this big? They need to work it out for themselves, at their own pace."  
"Agreed," said Harry in relief.

~*~

It was a week before Christmas and One Direction were at the London Palladium, having just took part in the Festive Variety Show. The show had premiered last Christmas to massive success. It was similar to the Royal Variety show except it was Christmas themed and all the proceeds went to Great Ormond Street Hospital. It had been a stellar night with big names such as Take That, Leona Lewis, Andre Rieu, Kevin Bridges, Rhianna, Justin Bieber, Ed Byrne, JLS, Flawless, Usher, the Royal Ballet and many more. Ant and Dec, with help from Jedward, had been the hosts and One Direction had had such a laugh on stage and behind the scenes. They'd sang two of their own songs during the night, 'The Mortal Cause' and 'Life of Liars'.  
The production on 'The Mortal Cause' had been utterly spectacular – on par with the incredible performance Take That had given with 'The Flood' at the Royal Variety Show a few years back. Harry was still vibrating with the rush. The Mortal Cause had been one of those rare gems that had just lifted One Direction from cute boy band status to almost cult standing. It was an amazing song, full of meaning and relativity to today's society. The pulsing bass thudding right into your bones and the electric melody was enough to give you a high. It also showed off Harry's gravely tone, Liam's range, Zayn's pure high notes and Louis's sexy low notes. Even Niall's steady 'Free, free, free' through the chorus put your heart in your throat. The audience had literally screamed at the end and Harry had wanted to scream along with them. The adrenaline shooting through his veins had been incredible.  
Then the music had lamented into the haunting melody of 'Life of Liars'. Since Niall was suffering from a bad cold, Liam had somehow convinced Louis to sing the Irish boy's verse at the end instead. Niall had been very grateful because his throat was red raw. In a way, Harry had wished it had been Liam that had sung the part; maybe then he wouldn't have made such a fool of himself on stage by bursting into tears – and Jesus, he was going to get called a cry-baby at this rate. But Louis… dressed in that stupidly gorgeous grey button neck jumper and charcoal jeans - his ridiculously feathered hair flicking out over the collar and beautiful blue eyes peeking out from under his fringe – singing so emotionally… Harry had stood no chance. It had been a last minute change so he hadn't even had the sound check to prepare himself with. _Life of Liars_ was such an emotional song as well and, with the wintry production blowing wind into their faces, and the Jesus Light, which lit up Louis on his plinth as he sang,  
"_My dreams lay in pieces on the floor, cut up with the china and the glass, photos savaged by hate, furious reflections of your class. I am beyond any tears for you, I am destroyed from the inside out, cold and distant – numb and wasted, your victory is no doubt._"  
Harry couldn't keep himself together. Louis sang it with such bittersweet passion, his voice rough and strained, and the amazing set just got the better of Harry. He couldn't stop the flashbacks of his friend lying in a coma, so fragile and lifeless… and… Now, he was standing up there, so strong, so beautiful, totally singing his heart out to the world. Harry's heart wanted to just burst out of his chest with love and pride and he finished the final chorus with tears rolling down his cheeks. Luckily, Louis hadn't seen, too busy descending from the platform, but Liam had and he drew him into a hug at the end so he could stealthily sort himself out. The audience were on their feet and the noise thundered in their eardrums.  
Poor Niall had probably just lost that verse forever.  
Now Harry was standing on the balcony, staring down at the auditorium below. The theatre was decked to the rafters with festive decorations and looked like some kind of glittery fairytale land with all the lights, tinsel and fake snow. Right next to the stage was a twenty-foot Christmas tree – shining purple, pink and silver.  
It was close to midnight now and all the audience and most of the acts had left. One Direction were still waiting for their car to arrive – there had been some huge mix up at the agency and their car was coming all the way from Oxford.  
Liam, Zayn, Louis and Niall were standing chatting in the hallway. The air between Niall and Liam was a lot less awkward now, thankfully. At some point one of them must have broken the ice, although Harry, Louis and Zayn had no idea of when or how. All Harry cared was that things were getting back to normal.  
"Hey."  
Harry closed his eyes as the soft, husky voice in his ear made his stomach flip. Louis's presence was warm behind him for a moment before he came to stand next to him at the railing, peering down as well. "Wow."  
"Yeah," said Harry, quietly, "It's quite amazing isn't it." He sighed and smiled, turning to look at his friend, "You were good tonight," he said softly.  
Louis didn't turn to look back at him but Harry could see his lips twitching in a smile, "thanks. So were you."  
Harry reached backwards and pushed the cushion behind him down, taking a seat. After a moment, Louis did the same, throwing an arm over Harry's shoulders like he always did. Content, Harry leant into him. "So have you decided what you want to do for your 21st yet?"  
Louis sighed and absently played with the bracelets on Harry's wrist, "No fuss, I just want to have dinner you guys and the family."  
Harry chuckled lowly, breathing in the sweet scent of Louis's aftershave – it was so achingly familiar. "That's pretty boring for a twenty-first, mate. We should be talking about booze and crazy parties."  
"Spending time with all of you is pretty special to me," said Louis softly, covering Harry's hand with his, "having dinner together would mean so much more than just getting drunk at some nameless club."  
Harry slowly turned to meet his gaze and was surprised at just how close their heads were. Louis's diamond blue eyes sparkled straight back at him, reflecting the theatre's glittering lights.  
"You're very special to us to," he whispered and watched, mesmerised, as Louis's eyes softened. Without thinking, Harry's gaze dropped to Louis's mouth. Louis's breathing hitched and Harry felt the hand resting over his shoulder slide into his curls. A shiver ran down his spine. His eyes darted up to Louis's again and saw they were still staring right back at him. Harry's chest tightened and, without blinking, he slowly leant forwards. Louis tentatively leaned forward too until their warm breaths mingled and Harry could practically taste the mint from Louis's chewing gum. Not daring to breathe, Harry leant in the rest of the way.  
"Harry! Louis! The car's here!" Zayn shouted from the doorway.  
Harry and Louis sprang apart, their eyes wide. Louis slumped back in the chair, blushing furiously, and Harry jumped to his feet, looking everywhere but at the seat next to him. His heart was pounding, _oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god…_  
"Come on guys," Zayn shouted again, "hurry up!"

~*~

**10 am the following morning**

Louis sat at the breakfast table biting his fingernails. He had never felt so jittery in his life. With a sigh of determination, he snatched up his phone and scrolled through his contacts list until he hit the right name. For a few seconds, his finger hovered over it before he finally steeled himself and pressed _call_.  
It rang six times before someone answered, "Hello?"  
"Um… hi. Sorry to bother you… uh… this is Louis Tomlinson from One Direction. I don't know whether you remember me…"  
"Of course, hi Louis, you doing okay, yeah?"  
"Um… actually… no… uh," he scratched the back of his head nervously, "would it be possible to meet up with you later, for coffee or something… it's just… I could really do with your advice."  
"Of course."


	4. Chapter 4

**2 pm at the Silver Pot Coffee House, London**

Louis fidgeted nervously with the sugar wrapper as he waited. The waitress gave him a small encouraging smile every time she passed his half-hidden table. He wasn't convinced that this was a good idea at all. Maybe he should just phone up and cancel before he made an epic fool of himself. The door chimed as someone left the coffee shop and then rang again a moment later.

"Goodness; that Central Line gets more and more packed everyday." Louis's head snapped up at the familiar voice. He peered through the leaves of the privacy giving plants. Yep, his meeting had just walked through the door. Too late to back out now. His heart started to thud. Still peering through the leaves, he watched as the young man walked towards the till, shaking snow from his coat. "Hey Mandy, is he here?"

"Yeah honey," the waitress who'd been smiling at Louis replied, "he's at the private table in the back. You want me to bring you over your usual?"

"Please, thanks love."

Louis bit his lip and his heart started to pound violently as the man turned and walked towards him. Technically, Louis had met him three times in his life; that was three conversations and one friendly number exchange. They were practically strangers. Yet here Louis was, about to talk to him about the most secret parts of himself. He stood up and smiled, as naturally as he could.

"Hi Louis," Joe McElderry smiled at him, flashing his trademark smile. It was friendly and a little disarming but it put Louis a little more at ease.

"Hi Joe, thanks for coming," he replied, shaking his hand.

"It's a pleasure," said Joe kindly, "and, can I say, it's great to see you back up on your feet. You had the whole nation very worried about you for a while."

"Thanks."

They both sat down and Mandy delivered Joe's coffee and a selection of biscuits on a plate, "Mmm, you've got to try the marshmallow melts," said Joe, picking up a fluffy, milk chocolate biscuit and biting into it, "they're to die for. Seriously."

Smiling again, Louis picked up one of the biscuits and nibbled the edge. It was rather nice indeed. He bit off a bigger chunk and swallowed it with a mouthful of his cooling coffee.

"So, you must be wondering why I asked to talk to you," he began, after a few moments of silent sipping. "My call was rather out of the blue, I know."

"I have been wondering but… I also have an inkling too," said Joe. There was no teasing or accusation in his voice, just gentle reassurance. Louis found himself liking the guy more and more; he seemed really genuine and kind. "I think there's only one thing a young guy like yourself would seek advice about from someone like me." Again, there was no accusation – only honesty.

Louis decided to be honest right back, "I… I don't really know where to begin."

Joe smiled softly, "Begin wherever you like, we've got plenty of time. Don't be afraid to say something you feel is important – I won't judge, I just want to help."

"You're really nice," said Louis, almost in awe.

Joe chuckled, "You wouldn't say that if you met me first thing in the morning."

Louis laughed lowly, "Yeah, I'm not a morning person either, really."

Joe took another sip of his coffee and waited patiently for Louis to begin.

"Could I start by asking you a question?"

"Of course," Joe nodded, "I'll try to be as open as possible."

"I'll understand if you don't want to answer," said Louis quickly, looking down at the table, "it's probably not something you really want to talk about-"

"Louis," Joe interrupted gently, "just ask."

Louis bit his lip, and tilted his head up to peer at the young man in front of him, "okay… how did you know you were…" he lowered his voice, "_gay_?"

Joe smiled, as though this was the exact question he was expecting, "I realised I was gay at the age of fifteen when a friend of mine - a male friend – kissed me and I liked it. I didn't _accept_ I was gay until I came out when I was eighteen."

"You kissed your friend and you enjoyed it?" Louis repeated, thinking back to how weird it was to kiss Liam. He and Liam were friends – best friends – but Louis was sure he didn't particularly like kissing him.

"Mmmhmm," Joe nodded, "although, when I say friend, it's possible I was crushing on him from the start."

Louis frowned; he hadn't ever had a crush on Liam so maybe that's why he didn't enjoy kissing him. Either way, it didn't really help him figure out if he was gay too.

"Have you ever kissed a guy and not enjoyed it?" He asked.

Joe broke out into quiet laughter, "I haven't really kissed that many guys but yes, there's been one or two kisses that have felt weird and wrong. It's exactly the same as kissing girls Louis; there's some you enjoy kissing and there's some you don't. It's about chemistry – just because someone's good looking doesn't mean you're going to spark when you kiss."

Louis nodded, that made sense, "How do you know you're crushing on a guy?"

"The same way you know you're crushing on a girl," Joe replied, his eyes sparkling.

Louis rolled his own eyes in reply, "Humour me, please?"

Joe took another sip of his coffee and sat back in his seat, regarding Louis speculatively, "How about you tell me." He said, "What do you think you'd feel if you were crushing on a guy?"

Louis flushed and looked down at the table again, this was embarrassing, "I don't know…" he mumbled, "if it was a girl… I guess I'd think they're good looking, I'd want to kiss them, get to know them, flirt with them, maybe dream about them, touch them as much as possible…"

"They're all signs you're crushing on a guy too," said Joe, with a nod, "so… do you think you're crushing on someone then?"

The tips of Louis's ears burned hotly, this was so… awkward… he kept staring down at the table, "Um…" he said quietly, "I don't know… I've never considered him in that way before…"

"But clearly something has happened to make you wonder about your feelings?" Joe pressed gently, "Would you like to tell me what happened, Louis? Maybe then I might be able to help you, if I know where you're at."

Biting his lip again, Louis, idly traced the edge of the table, "We… we've almost kissed… twice."

"Almost kissed?" Joe raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah," Louis nodded.

"What stopped you both?"

"We were interrupted."

"I see," Joe took another sip of his coffee and then sat forward, steepling his fingers under his chin, "and how did you feel afterwards?"

"Awkward," said Louis quickly, "I had no idea what to say to him!"

Joe chuckled and Louis looked up at him in surprise, "I meant, how did you feel when you didn't kiss?" Joe clarified.

"Oh," Louis blushed again, "honestly… a little disappointed."

"So you'd like to try again?"

Louis swallowed hard. Would he? Would he really want to try kissing him again? For a moment, he imagined them pressing their lips together and him running his fingers through those unruly curls. Something tightened low in his stomach. Something that felt uncomfortably like arousal.

"I'll take your expression as a yes," said Joe, with a small chuckle. Louis peeked up at him and Joe nodded in encouragement. "Why don't you tell me about him, then?" Joe suggested, "For example… what do you like most about Harry?"

Louis paused, what did he like most about Harry? He was tempted to say everything because he couldn't think of anything he _didn't_ like about his friend. "He's funny," he shrugged, "and sweet and clever and…" he saw Joe's eyes twinkle and it suddenly dawned on him. His eyes went wide in horror as he stared across at the young X Factor Winner, aghast to being so easily found out, "oh shit…" he gulped, "how did you know it was _Harry_?"

Joe's smile softened, "It was pretty obvious Louis," he said gently, "at least to me."

"Obvious? How?" Louis was torn between utter mortification and fear – fear that if Joe knew then other people would know too.

"It just was," Joe shrugged, "have you ever seen the way you two look at each other? It's very sweet."

Louis blushed hotly again. No, he didn't know how they looked at each other. As far as he knew, they looked at each other like best friends who loved each other as though they were brothers. This was evidently not the case.

"Okay," Joe sat forward, resting his chin on his hands once more, "so let's go over what we've established so far. You and Harry have nearly kissed, twice, and you felt disappointed when it didn't actually occur. We both know how much you care about Harry and how close you both are to each other but you're not certain if what you're feeling is a crush because you've never thought of Harry in that way before. At least not prior to the almost-kisses."

"Yeah, that's about right," Louis nodded, looking down at his own coffee and giving it a stir.

"So," Joe chewed his top lip for a moment, considering, "my next question would be, have you ever had a relationship with another guy like the one you have with Harry?"

"No," Louis shook his head. That much he was sure. His relationship with Harry was unlike _any_ relationship he'd ever had – the level of comfort they had with each other was off the scale. It had been that way from the start.

"That would then lead me to ask whether you've ever looked at another guy before and thought, 'wow, he's attractive'."

Louis tried not to slide under the table with embarrassment, "No…" he replied, barely audible, "no, I haven't."

Joe's eyes narrowed suspiciously, "That didn't sound too convincing."

Louis didn't say anything, he couldn't explain what he'd felt before. He'd always been comfortable with both sexes. He had no problems with showing affection to either but he'd never imagined doing anything intimate with a guy like he'd do with a girl. He'd never let himself consider it – maybe a little scared of what he might find out about himself if he did.

"Louis," Joe entreated, "you can be honest with me. I won't judge – I'm in no place to judge."

Louis sighed, "I honestly don't know, Joe. I've never allowed myself to consider a guy in those terms before. I'm comfortable touching and being affectionate with both guys and girls… and flirting harmlessly with them… but I don't know whether that means I'm just comfortable with my sexuality or whether I'm…" he trailed off, not quite able to say it as this was getting into scary territory.

"Subconsciously attracted to both?" Joe offered quietly. Louis just nodded, blushing furiously.

"I get the feeling you can think of some guys who put a question mark in your head," said Joe, "don't worry, you don't have to tell me who they are."

Louis was very glad because there was no way he was _ever_ going to tell Joe that one of them was _him_. He had followed Joe's journey through the X Factor too closely to be normal for a completely heterosexual seventeen-year-old _male_. Pushing that thought to the back of his head, he quickly tuned back into what Joe was currently saying, "so think about one of those guys, think about kissing him, what would it feel like in your head?"

Louis furiously scanned his mind for someone appropriate and found one surprisingly easily. Elijah Wood, or, more exactly, _Frodo Baggins_. And whoa, he was not going to think about the similarities between Frodo and a certain someone else. Just because they both had curly hair, stupidly wide gorgeous eyes and ridiculously beautiful smiles, it did not mean he had a type! And why was he even thinking about types? He wasn't gay!

Was he?

"Well?" Joe prodded.

Tentatively, Louis let himself think what it might be like to kiss Frodo. To his surprise, something warm spread across his chest, tingling down his arms to his fingers. Shocked, he quickly pictured Megan Fox's breasts and willed his heart to slow down.

"Um…"

"Stop thinking about breasts," said Joe with a hint of exasperation. Louis's eyes snapped open in shock and he pulled a face as Joe laughed, "I know that look from anywhere. So, I take it you liked it then?"

Louis hesitated and then nodded, if he couldn't be honest with Joe, he couldn't be honest with anyone – including himself.

"So it's possible you might be bi-curious?"

"There might be a chance," Louis admitted and then felt as though something heavy had just been lifted off his chest.

"It's rather liberating saying it aloud, isn't it?" Joe said knowingly, staring at him.

"Yeah," Louis breathed, it _was_, "thanks."

Joe grinned, wide and bright, "you're welcome." He took another mouthful of his coffee and then tilted his head, "so that brings us back to the question of Harry. Do you think you might have a crush on him?"

Louis bit his lip, hard. He thought about his friend, about those glossy curls, that wicked smile and those green green eyes. His stomach flipped and he smiled. God, he just loved that boy.

Louis suddenly sat up straight. His heart hammering. Joe leant across the table and put a hand on his, "Steady Louis," he soothed, "don't panic. Take a deep breath, that's it. Stay calm, it's okay."

"What am I doing?" He whispered wretchedly, suddenly feeling lost and confused. He shouldn't be thinking any of that in regards to his best friend. It could ruin everything.

"You're being honest with yourself," said Joe gently, squeezing his hand. "Tell me, who initiated the _almost_ kisses?"

Louis let out a shaky breath, "I don't know. I think Harry leaned in first last night." It all seemed like a blur now. He could remember staring into Harry's eyes, feeling so touched by his friend's words, and something hot had just burst inside him. Then Harry's gaze had dipped downwards for a moment and Louis had taken in a small surprised breath, sure he was reading the situation wrong. Then suddenly their faces were so close and Louis could feel the warm brush of Harry's breath against his lips…

"_Last night_?" Joe seemed surprised, "after the Festive Variety Show?"

Louis nodded, breaking out of his reverie.

"Interesting."

"Interesting? How?" Louis blinked and stared across at his companion questioningly.

Joe just shrugged, "Have you seen a clip of your second song? _Life of Liars_, I think it was called."

Louis shook his head, "No, why?"

Joe licked his lips before saying, carefully, "Maybe you should check it out on Youtube later. Watch Harry's face when you're singing."

"Why? What does he do?" Louis was intrigued now.

Joe shook his head, "It's better if you just watch it. Anyway, we're getting off track. So Harry was the one to lean in first?"

"Yeah," Louis bit his lip again and nodded, "I'm pretty sure."

Joe nodded too and sat back, spreading his hands, "Well, it sounds like whatever you're feeling, he's feeling it too."

"You think so?" Louis felt something warm, like hope, grow in his chest.

"I really do," said Joe, his smile widening, "and I think he's probably as confused as you are."

Louis took another biscuit off the plate and nibbled it thoughtfully. He hadn't considered how Harry felt about the situation – which was pretty stupid considering Harry had actually done the initiating. But what if Louis had been reading the situation wrong? What if Harry _hadn't_ been about to kiss him? What if he was just trying to psyche him out or blow an eyelash off his face or something inane like that? "What do you think I should do?" Louis finally asked, hoping Joe could point him in the right direction again.

Joe shrugged, "That's really up to you." He paused for a moment and then said, "I think you need to go and have a good long think though. This isn't just a crush on friend or a colleague at the office; this is a crush on your fellow band mate – who you'll probably spend the next decade or so living out the pockets of.

You need to consider that if you do say something, how that might impact your working relationship – _particularly_ if it doesn't work out. You also have to consider your other band mates too; how your relationship might affect them – whether or not you and Harry make it as a couple. Could you still act professional even if you were in the middle of a row? Would the others feel at ease seeing you together? Would it make sleeping arrangements uncomfortable?

You'll also have to think about how it would affect the fans too because, if you two did get together, you will not be able to keep it a secret forever. The press will find out at some stage – no matter how careful you are. Would the fans be for or against it? If they are against it then that will definitely affect the _whole_ band. As awkward as it may seem, _if_ you and Harry did decide to get together then you would have to discuss it with the others first before you both get in too deep. That is, if you're not too deep already."

**Earlier that morning, 2:03 am**

Harry rolled over in his bed and punched the pillow. God, how the hell was he meant to sleep when all he could do was play that awful moment over and over again in his head. He was mortified with himself. He had actually leaned in to kiss Louis. _Kiss Louis_. What on earth had he been thinking? Clearing nothing sane! God, what must _Louis_ be thinking right now? He shuddered at the thought.

Christ, he just about kissed his best friend – his _male_ best friend. They'd been a hair's breadth from making contact. Jesus, he was lucky he didn't get punched!

Never-mind the fact he wasn't supposed to be thinking of Louis in that way, he was meant to be controlling those stupid thoughts and impulses. Well the proverbial cat was out of the bag now!

The worst thing was, under all the mortification, he couldn't help but feel bitterly disappointed too. There was no way Louis could have escaped noticing that Harry had been about to kiss him so things were royally fucked up between them. Actually getting a kiss out of it might have made the friendship fail worth it. Now, all he had left was the embarrassing and awkward memory and nothing in return for it – no justification.

And he couldn't stop imagining what it would have been like either. His mind was playing the cruellest of games – forcing him to picture how it might have felt to press his lips against Louis's. The sensation his mind suggested was incredible every time and he was getting uncomfortably aroused. This wasn't completely surprising as he was at that age where the wind just had to blow right and he got hard.

But he wasn't going to go _there_, not tonight. If he did that, it would basically be acknowledging his feelings were real – and there would be no going back from that. He would never be able to look at Louis _ever_ again purely as a friend – and that would inevitably destroy their friendship… if it wasn't destroyed already.

He whined and rolled over; burying his head into the pillow, wondering if trying to suffocate himself would help. It did nothing but brush a certain sensitive part of his body against the sheets, which really didn't need any more stimulation. He groaned lowly and pulled his hips back. He was a teenage boy and was quite accustomed to having a little "right hand" time before bed. Not allowing himself just made the situation harder – pun fully intended. He adjusted his boxers but it did little to help. God, it was going to be ages before the thing died down – maybe he should just jerk off quickly and force himself to think about Frankie Sandford - and _only_ Frankie Sandford. It shouldn't be too difficult considering she was the one who normally occupied his mind during those activities.

Picturing those long smooth legs, he pushed his hand under the waistband of his boxers and took a hold of himself, biting back a moan of relief. He was achingly hard. He imagined those long legs wrapping around his back and the feel of her breasts pressing against his chest. He started to jerk himself, his breath growing short. Yes, he could feel himself entangling his fingers in those short bangs, tugging at them as she kissed down his neck. He'd pull her up and kiss her hard, licking inside her mouth, feeling his tongue slide against hers. Then he would grip those slender hips and rub against her, preparing them both for what was to come. Those blue eyes would then stare up into his, stunning in their intensity and he would lean forward and kiss him again. No… her… he'd kiss _her_ again. Hot and slow. Away from her mouth, down her neck, taking time to suck hard at his throat. Then downwards, over that firm chest to the channels and dips of the six pack below. He'd run his tongue down each ridge until those hips he was holding down were quivering desperately. Then he'd duck down to the light happy trail, taking a few hairs between his teeth and look up, tugging gently – see the need and wanting burn in those blue eyes. Then he'd move back up, smoothing his palms over that smooth abdomen, rock their hips together intimately, feel their groins rub together, so hard, as Louis arches his back in pleasure… Harry came so suddenly, so violently, he jack-knifed off the bed and keened as he pulsed hotly against his stomach.

Weakly, he fell backwards onto his pillow and panted wildly for a few minutes, feeling the sweat sliding down his neck, curling his hair even more. God, that had been _so_ good; he was aching.

But as he enjoyed the rush of endorphins, the guilt started to flood in too as he remembered Louis's face... the way he'd imagined him arching under his hand. He groaned and threw an arm over his face. He was so screwed. Fuck his life. Seriously, fuck it all to hell.

**Two days ago**

Liam was lying on his bed, absently strumming his guitar and hitting random chords, when there was a quiet knock on the door.

"What is it?" He sighed as the door opened. He really wasn't feeling in the mood for company.

"Liam?"

Liam nearly broke a string as his fingers slipped in surprise. He scrambled up and put the guitar carefully to the side, "Niall?" He replied faintly, his heart starting to beat rather fast.

Niall smiled sheepishly, blushing a little, "Hi."

"You want to come in?" Liam felt his breath stutter a little in his chest.

Niall nodded and closed the door behind him. He then crossed the room and gingerly sat down on the edge of Liam's bed, leaning his arms on his thighs. For a moment, Liam bit his lip and then determinedly shuffled over to sit next to him. "So…"

"So…" Niall echoed, blushing even redder, "Um… I figured it was about time we uh… cleared things up."

"Yeah," Liam breathed, looking down at the beige carpet, feeling himself flush hotly. This wasn't awkward or anything – not at all.

"I think I should start off by being honest," Niall continued, now playing with his hands, unable to look at him (not that Liam was looking at him either), "that way there will be no misunderstandings."  
"Okay," Liam nodded, closing his eyes and psyching himself up for whatever was coming his way – hurt or relief, even though he had no idea what would be a relief and what wouldn't.

"So… if I'm being honest…" Niall took a deep breath, "I would have to say that I…" he screwed his eyes shut, "_quite_ enjoyed what happened the other night… between us… but… I'm also very confused… because I'm not gay and neither are you and… I've never seen you as any more than a friend. And… I'm not sure whether that has actually changed since that night."

Liam let out a sigh of relief – they were both actually on the same page, _thank god_. "That's exactly how I feel," he replied quietly. "I liked it… well obviously I _liked_ it," he chuckled a little self-deprecatingly at himself, "but I'm confused about what it means too. Neither of us are gay and, while I enjoyed it, I find it hard to wrap my head the idea of it being anything _more_. It's not that you're not an amazing guy," he added quickly, peeking at Niall and trying not to smile at how red his friend's cheeks were, "because you _are_, you're one of my best friends, but… I've never thought of you in _that_ way before. If _I'm_ honest, a part of me is wondering whether I only enjoyed it because I was drunk."

"Really?" Niall looked up, his expression surprisingly hopeful rather than offended, "Thank god, I thought I might be the only one thinking that! Not that you're not a good looking guy Liam," he added hastily, "but I've never been attracted to a guy before and I couldn't help but wonder if it was the alcohol talking that night too."

Liam finally got the courage to meet Niall's gaze and the moment their eyes locked, Liam was cast back to that moment when he had shoved Niall up against the door, knee between his thighs, kissing him hard. He gasped quietly, blinking the images away. That was… he shifted uncomfortably on the bed… kind of intense.

"Liam?" Niall queried, cocking his head to the side. His gaze was level and Liam swallowed thickly. As much as Niall always seemed to be happy and laughing and finding everything 'amazing', he could also be very serious and shrewd when he wanted to be. Liam half-wondered whether this was where their connection lay. He had always been quite serious himself, not much of a risk taker, and sometimes, he could admit, too solemn for his own good. Maybe, in some way, Liam looked up to Niall because, underneath, Niall was as equally solemn and serious as he was and yet he had the ability – the courage – to channel it into a cheerful wonder at the world. Maybe Liam also revered Niall a little at the ease the slightly younger guy managed to make _him_ feel happier just by being in the same room and smiling. Nobody could _not_ smile when Niall smiled – he just had one of those failsafe happy faces. Liam didn't particularly like to feel solemn and serious all the time and Niall had some magical way of making him feel braver at acting out his heart rather than his head. He made Liam feel young whereas Harry made him feel boring – that was the difference between the two.

Maybe he was over-thinking this whole situation between them. Maybe words weren't always better than actions. His great grandparents had always said that their arranged marriage was the best thing that ever happened to them. They met like strangers, went through the motions of a married couple and learned to love each other over the years. It was a lie, they claimed, that you couldn't _learn_ to love another. According to them, you could only truly love someone if you learned how to respect them first. His great grandfather always said that a love borne of respect was one of the strongest bonds in the world. Liam knew his great grandfather would have done anything for his wife. _Anything_.

Liam looked at Niall now. From his bleached blond tips to his wide grey/blue eyes it was easy to say that Niall was good-looking, in a kind of cute boy-next-door way. He was someone constant and reliable, who you could look at and think 'he'll have a steady long life'. Some people's lives were written as obviously as that. Harry on the other hand had 'potential disaster' inscribed all over his baby face. Cher had that look too. He was positive a tabloid picture of her snorting coke in some seedy club bathroom was imminent.

"What are you thinking?" Niall asked softly, reaching up to brush his fringe out his eyes.

The move was such a gentle, caring gesture that Liam blinked in surprise. He reached up and grabbed Niall's hand, holding it suspended against his forehead. Niall jumped at the sudden move, looking to pull back, but Liam held him firm.

"I'm thinking," he said slowly, feeling something warm settle in his stomach, "that I want to get to know you better." He smiled as the corners of Niall's mouth turned up, "As a friend, first and foremost; then, if something more happens I think we should just let it happen. No pressure."

"I like the sound of that," Niall agreed, his smile widening.

"Good."

Tentatively Liam let go of Niall's hand and opened his arms for a hug. Niall grinned and shimmied forward, wrapping his arms around him tightly. Liam closed his eyes and sighed happily with relief. This he was comfortable with. This made him… happy.

When they eventually pulled back, Liam offered his friend a lopsided grin, "What say we go rescue the kitchen from Louis and Zayn?"

"I'd say that's a grand idea," Niall chuckled, "I daresay three times in one week is probably too much for the poor stove to cope with."

**10 hours after Louis returned from meeting Joe**

It snowed the whole way back from their gig at the O2 Arena. Harry had no idea why they couldn't have just stayed in a hotel for the night. Their car took forever to get them home, going about 30 miles an hour through the building snow. It was gone 2.30 in the morning by the time they pulled up on their street. Everyone was shattered. Zayn was snoring quietly against the window, Niall was asleep against Liam's shoulder, Liam kept nodding off and then waking back up again and even Louis's eyes were drooping. It was the fact that Louis was sitting next to him that kept Harry awake. Things had been a little awkward between them all day but less so than Harry expected. Neither had said a word about what had almost happened the night before and Harry had taken the silence to mean they were just going to ignore it had ever occurred. He didn't really have a problem with that. Anything to keep his friendship with Louis going strong. It was clear, though, that Louis was trying hard to act normal around him, and while Harry appreciated the gesture, it would be a lot more relieving if they could just clear the air.

It also didn't help that Louis was wearing Harry's grey knit cardigan tonight and Harry found it ridiculously cute to behold – especially as it was slightly too big. He had spent most of the gig and the car journey trying not to look at his friend because he would want to touch and touching was bad. Very bad.

"Home sweet home," their driver announced as he skidded a little pulling up on their drive. The snow was a good few inches deep now, which meant tomorrow they could have some good old-fashioned fun. The others reluctantly woke up and set about detangling themselves from the seatbelts and each other. Pulling on coats was a bit of a hazardous task – five young men and a small space did not make for a lot of elbow room. Niall, Zayn and Liam got out the car first, sleepy on their feet. Harry got out next, followed by Louis.

They only had two bags between the five of them so Harry offered to get them from the boot. He was the one most awake and he didn't really mind. The driver was busy talking on his phone, no doubt checking the routes for his next stop, but he waved for Harry to open the boot himself.

The snow was coming down fast and he could feel the cold drops hitting his neck and rolling uncomfortably down under his collar. He reached for the boot handle.

"You forgot your hat," said a voice from right behind him.

Harry whipped around, nearly slipping, and could only stare as Louis reached up and placed his hat on his head for him, pulling it down over his ears. Louis was so close to Harry, so warm, looking up at him so sleepy and guileless. Harry couldn't breathe. His heart was suddenly pounding. All he could think about was his fantasy last night, Louis lying under him, arching with pleasure…

And Louis wasn't moving away. Why wasn't Louis moving away? He had to move away… and quickly or Harry was going to do something stupid… something they'd both regret.

His gloved hands reached out to grip Louis's hips, not sure whether he was trying to push him away or pull him nearer. Louis didn't move. He just smiled back at him, a little dopey, his arms now resting lightly around Harry's neck. It tugged at something low in Harry's stomach and he suddenly couldn't stand it anymore. With a growl, he yanked Louis around, pushing him up against the boot of the car and pressed their hips together.

Louis gasped and his grip around Harry's neck tightened. He looked momentarily shocked and then… his eyes dropped from Harry's gaze to Harry's mouth and Harry couldn't stop himself. He dipped down and…

"Louis! There's a message on the answering machine for you!"

If Harry had ever been close to murdering someone, it was Liam right then. Really, he could happily throttle his band mate for the worst timing _ever_. He had no choice but to step back and let Louis walk away towards to the house. Liam was going to suffer. Seriously suffer. He better watch his food for the next week.

**11 am One Direction's House in Bexley**

The house was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. All the boys were fast asleep – enjoying a long lie-in after the late night. That was until an ear-splitting screech from Liam shattered the peace – making every other boy jolt awake instantly.

"Which one of you _fucking arseholes_ put all my boxers on Ebay - unwashed!"

Harry slowly lowered himself back to his pillow and smirked. Punishment enacted.

By early afternoon, Harry was wondering whether he had completely imagined leaning in to kiss Louis by the car. In fact, he was wondering if he had fabricated the near kiss at the O2 Arena too. Louis certainly didn't seem to act like either had happened.

Harry had been expecting a little bit of awkwardness between them today – if not from last night's near miss then at least as a residue from the Arena. After all, things had been rather tense between them yesterday. However, today Louis acted like things were completely normal – well, as normal as things got with Louis around. In fact, he acted more like the old Louis than he had for months – messing around with everyone, being noisy and overly affectionate.

They had band practice at the studios between 3 pm and 8 pm – rehearsing some of the songs from their album and going over the choreography for the gig on the 27th. For the first three hours, they took it all very seriously but, as the fourth hour dragged in, they started to get distracted and giggly. Rick called time when Zayn started adding in random zombie noises into the dance routine and the other boys kept cracking up at him. They were to; instead, return the next day for a few hours of practice before their small gig in Brighton later in the evening.

They stopped off for dinner at The Rotisserie, about half a mile from the studio, where they bumped into none other than… Joe McElderry, Stacey Solomon and Olly Murs having dinner together. The three older X-Factor finalists demanded that the boys joined them and One Direction were more than happy to. Well… Harry noticed Louis, for some reason, seemed rather embarrassed about sitting next to Joe. His face was bright red the whole time and he hardly said a peep all night. Now _that_ was odd. He tried to catch his friend's eye to ask what was wrong but Louis wouldn't even make eye contact with _him_. Joe didn't seem to notice and talked to Louis as though they were old friends. Harry did observe that when Louis excused himself to the toilet Joe did so too a few moments later. When they returned, Louis was still flushing but he seemed a little more at ease. He was still oddly quietly though.

While they awaited their desserts to arrive, Harry took the opportunity to lean across the table towards him and murmur, "You okay? You're very quiet." To his surprise, Louis went scarlet and his actually stammered when he replied, "I'm f-f-f-f-fine." Harry did a double take but Louis was now finding his ice cream incredibly interesting and Harry decided to drop the subject.

At the end of the meal, they said their goodbyes outside and Harry watched as Joe gave Louis a quick hug. Louis's face was almost glowing; he looked thrilled and yet flustered. His shy shuffle and half-smile when Joe pulled back was downright adorable and Harry felt something hot, like jealousy, flare in his chest. That look was _his_. And yeah, he mentally slapped himself, he really needed to get on top of that 'ignoring those weird thoughts and feelings about Louis' thing. Like _now_.

**9.02 pm that night Louis's Room**

Louis was restless and jittery. He didn't know what to do - maybe scream, or cry, or run and not stop. He gripped his hair in his hands and jiggled his knees in frustration, swinging himself around on his desk chair.

What he needed was a distraction. He stared around his room forlornly. What could he do? His eyes caught the mountains of clothes and books and all the crap that hid the carpet from view. Sighing, he got to his feet. It may be a pointless, and quite frankly a _nasty_, fun-less task but it would at least take his mind off things… well, off Harry and Joe at least.

It amazed just how much stuff he could accumulate in such a short space of time. He first started out putting the clothes into two piles; 'kind of wearable again' and 'needs washing _now_ before it eats something'. That took him over half an hour and then another ten minutes to put the clean stuff away in his (unsurprisingly empty) cupboard. He left the mountain of dirty washing on his bed and set about picking everything else up off the floor. He found his missing Ipod under a carrier bag full of knitting wool – another project he had yet to get around to starting. It took about an hour but he could honestly say his room was almost up to Liam's standards by the time he was done. It looked so much bigger tidy too – though it really did need a Hoover and a good old dust. He could do that tomorrow though. Right now, he had some epic amounts of washing to do. He scooped up the huge pile of clothes and tottered down the stairs to the laundry room.

The laundry room was a decent sized area off the kitchen, leading to the double garage. It held two large washing machines and a tumble dryer, plus a sink, three large dirty-washing baskets, an ironing station and an airing rack. As he staggered through the kitchen door, trying not to drop anything, he heard a low rumble and realised someone had beaten him to the washing machines already. He hoped it was only one out of the two, because he seriously needed some clean underwear! Using his foot to push the door open, he navigated himself through the smaller gap into the washing room and then dumped his pile of clothes on the floor with a sigh of relief.

Looking up he got the shock of his life. Niall and Liam were staring back at him in absolute horror, panting like they had just run a marathon. Louis's jaw dropped. Niall was sitting on top of the washing machine with Liam standing between his legs. Both had no tops on, their jeans clearly open and their hands on parts of each other that… Louis's face went white hot and he clamped a hand over his eyes.

"Oh my God guys," he cried, "I am _so_ sorry!"

He backed blindly out of the room and shut the door firmly behind him, leaning back against it, both hands pressing his eyes hard, stunned. _Holy crap_! _Holy_… a faint noise from behind the door, suspiciously like a human cry, made him jerk away from it like it was on fire. He didn't want to know – he _really_ didn't want to know what that noise might have been. He ran into the living room and jumped onto the couch, switching the TV on and turning up the volume. He wasn't such a prude as to not want his friends to enjoy what they had started but there was no way he wanted to hear any of it!

It was a good fifteen minutes before Liam and Niall eventually emerged from the laundry room. They stumbled sheepishly into the living room and sat down on the couch adjacent to Louis's, hands in their laps, meek and apologetic. Louis switched the TV off and regarded his friends warily. They had taken some time to straighten up and, if Louis hadn't walked in on them, he would never have guessed what had just taken place.

Both Liam and Niall looked very embarrassed, although oddly satisfied and Louis just didn't want to think about why that was. _Not at all_.

"So… this is… uh," Louis ventured, swallowing thickly, "awkward?"

"We're really sorry you walked in on that!" Niall burst out, shuffling forward to the edge of the seat. "We got a bit carried away."

Louis shrugged, "I'm sorry I disturbed you. I guess I should knock before entering a closed door."

"No," Liam shook his head vehemently, "this is everybody's house – nobody should have to knock on a door downstairs."

Louis accepted this with a nod, "So…" he cast both of them with a long, interested look, "what _was_ that anyway?"

Liam pulled a _duh_ face and Louis rolled his eyes, "I _meant_, are you two together now or something?"

Niall and Liam looked at each other and then shook their heads, "No," Liam said slowly, "we both were just… a little riled up from our twitcam with Zayn and… needed an outlet? One thing led to another and we ended up…"

"Letting off a little steam," finished Niall, his cheeks brilliant red.

"You're sure?" Louis asked, a little surprised. Niall and Liam weren't the kind of people to do the whole 'friends with benefits' thing. "I mean, I won't take the piss if it's something more," he added softly.

"To be honest," Niall scratched the back of his head, seeming a little nervous, "I'm not entirely sure what that was." He didn't look at Liam when he said it and Louis got the feeling that his friends really needed to talk, "I think we both just got caught up in the moment…"

"Like you did at Matt's party," said Louis quietly.

"Yeah," Niall nodded.

"Except this time you weren't drunk."

Neither Liam nor Niall said anything to that and Louis sighed. He remembered what Joe had said to him about hooking up with a band mate – of course he did, it was all he had been thinking about today. "Look guys," he said, "I know you're both confused as to what's going on so I'll pretend that I didn't see anything, okay? But if it happens again, or you want to make it _more_ then we've got to talk about it - as a _band_. If it's just, how did you put it, _letting off a little steam_, while you're both between girlfriends, then please try and be a bit more discreet. It's not so bad if one _us_ catches you but someone outside the band… it could be a major problem. Alright?"

Liam and Niall nodded, looking incredibly relieved.

"Okay," Louis nodded to himself, "now, I am going to soak my eyes in some bleach. You two please go shower."

**12.03 am Louis's room**

He had had some time to think while sorting out his washing. Last night he had decided that it was too risky to pursue anything with Harry, hence why he'd made such an effort today to act normal – like nothing had happened. He figured if they could just find their old rhythm then this crush business would just blow over.

Last night he had mulled Joe's words over in his head and realised the damage it could cause Liam, Niall and Zayn was too unfair. He also did not want to ruin the amazing friendship he currently had with Harry. With this in mind, he realised he _didn't want_ to risk taking the band down – especially if it _was_ just a stupid crush and he wasn't even gay. Because he didn't even know for certain if he _was_ interested in guys. It was one thing to imagine it; it was quite another thing to actually do it. So, while he was in the laundry room tonight, still reeling from catching Niall and Liam together, he'd made a new decision. Just because Liam and Niall were comfortable putting their friendship (and the band's reputation) on the line, it didn't mean he felt the same way about Harry. Quite frankly, he and Harry were much closer than Niall and Liam were to each other and, therefore, he felt there would be much more to lose if things went wrong between them. However, that didn't mean he couldn't pursue _other_ guys so he had to find out if he was bi-sexual for sure. But, in order to do that, he needed some more help.

And that's why he was now staring down at his laptop like it was a potential time bomb. The Google homepage stared innocently back at him, the cursor blinking at the ready in the search bar. Could he do this? Did he dare? Closing his eyes, he took in a deep breath and rested his fingers against the keyboard. Yes, he could. It was only a little internet search. He could erase the browser history afterwards.

He let out his breath, opened his eyes and typed,

"HOW TO BE GAY"

He pressed enter and closed his eyes again. It took him about half a minute to get the courage to look. There were over 1,790,000 results. He gulped and clicked the first one. It opened up a page on . **How to be Gay.**

_There is no one way to be gay! Being gay does not define who you are- it is merely a part of you. If you think you are "not gay enough" or think you are "too gay" then read this quick guide on how to be gay!_

Louis scrolled down the page. **Number 1: Take time to explore yourself.** His first thought was _I've been exploring myself ever since I was eleven! Yet I still managed to miss the fact I might be bi_. **Number 2: Remove any stereotypes you have about being gay.** Ah, now this was more interesting! He could admit that he stereotyped gay guys quite often – which was probably one of the reasons for not thinking himself to be gay in the first place. He read the article under the heading quickly, _'These stereotypes can get ingrained in your head, making it difficult to be yourself. Once you ignore how you are "supposed to be" and start being who you really are, you will find your own place as a gay man.'_ A thought struck Louis, maybe the fact he was bi-curious didn't change anything. He was still the same Louis who got over-excited when given attention, loved football to the point of obsession, danced to the Blues Brothers in the kitchen - fully costumed - and refused to wear anything deemed remotely 'butch'. Plus, he still liked girls too so it wasn't like he was going to have to change himself from being 'girl attractive' to being 'boy attractive'.

He looked back at the screen; **Number 3, Ignore peer pressure from those around you.** Well, he had always been talented at ignoring authority so he shouldn't find this one too difficult. **Number 4, There is no such thing as "not being gay enough" or being "too gay."** That was a relief! He really couldn't see himself wearing a mesh vest and piercing his left ear – and yeah, he was showing his stereotyping again. But the article had a point. If he was just himself, maybe others wouldn't notice that he liked guys as well as girls. Then again, if it emerged that he liked Harry then it wouldn't just be his straight card in trouble.

He sighed and looked at the 5th piece of advice; **open yourself up to your sexuality.** Huh. That was helpful. Not.

Gah, this was getting him nowhere. He returned to the Google homepage and bit his lip. Maybe he needed to see it in action? Nothing graphic, but maybe watch some programmes where guys are in a relationship would help him understand the way a gay relationship worked. He opened up Youtube and typed in, TV GAY COUPLES and hit enter. There were over 630 results. Clicking on the fifth one down, he reached for his Ipod headphones and plugged them in to the laptop before sticking them in his ears.

The video clip popped up and took a few seconds to buffer. He drew he knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, feeling rather nervous. He knew nobody was around to judge him but he still felt… like he was doing something naughty.

Surprisingly, it wasn't at all as bad as he expected – in fact, it was actually very sweet and dare he say… kind of _hot_? He checked the info box and noted some of the pairings; Brian and Justin, Christian and Olli, Fer and David, Luke and Noah, John Paul and Craig, Deniz and Roman… He went up to the search bar again and typed in _Christian and Olli_. There were 4,100 results. _Wow_. He clicked the one that said 78th kiss and watched, biting his lip. It took a while for the clip to get to the actual kiss and he was surprised to find that the program was a German soap – although someone had helpfully provided subtitles. He watched, holding his breath, as the one in the tan jacket ducked under the window to reach the other guy and trapped him against the wall. They were both very good looking, particularly the blond one, and seemed quite enamoured with each other. The two guys on screen shared a quick peck and the one in the tan jacket smiled, glancing back at the window, and said 'it might really work this time'. It was said softly and as he looked back at the other guy, it was obvious there was a double meaning. The dark haired one seemed touched by the sentiment and leaned in for a short but deep kiss. Something tightened low in Louis's stomach, seeing the two guys lip-lock, and he gasped when there was a momentary trail of saliva between their mouths as they pulled back. That was _way_ hotter than when Liam and he had done the same thing! He scrolled through the vidders page and located the 2nd kiss, which had more hits than the 1st. It made that flutter happen again in his stomach and he moved onto the next one and the next... Soon he was squirming on his seat and tugging at his collar.

When he reached Kiss #50 he was suitably worked up and kind of desperate to try that sharing strawberries thing with someone. The whole gay sex thing suddenly seemed really hot, even though the program had shown nothing more graphic than some steamy kisses and chest touching.

Clicking back to Google, he paused and thought he might as well go the whole hog, seeing as he would be deleting all the browser info at the end… He typed in 'how to have gay sex'. The first listing was another article; he clicked it and quickly skimmed through the list. It talked about being emotionally ready, whether you're a top or a bottom, staying safe and what to do if you're not into anal. He screwed his eyes closed at that one, blushing hotly. Oh god. He was actually reading about anal sex – about guys putting their… things… inside the place where… This was… kind of horrible. Not like watching those two guys making out – that had been hot. He really couldn't see how the passionate making out could lead to such a dirty thing - he couldn't relate it together. Anal sex was just gross… like eww... And yet… he couldn't help but peek one eye open and read the last paragraph.

_Despite the common myth, not all gay men like anal sex. There are many ways men can be intimate with one another without having anal sex. Two very common ways are intercrural sex and frottage. Both of these types of non-penetrative sex can be used as foreplay or for complete intimacy._

He sat up. What was intercrural sex? Frowning, he clicked on the link and felt his face grow hotter and hotter. Okay, so it sounded better than anal but… crikey… he wasn't even that accustomed and experienced with heterosexual sex let alone… doing specialised versions. He was also not going to envisage doing it with anybody either. Nope. That was _way_ too unsettling and... and… he slammed the lid of the laptop closed and bit his nails. He really didn't think he'd make a very good gay guy. The making out he could handle. Anything else and… well… _screwed_ was probably not a very accurate word to describe it.

**9.16 am the following morning**

Harry had woken up early and decided to help Liam clear some of the snow off the drive. It had been a lot harder work than he had anticipated and his arms were aching by the time they had finished. At least their car could now pull up onto the drive without the risk of a major accident.

Niall was just pouring out five coffees when they traipsed through the back door, knocking snow all over the floor. Harry was quick to divest himself off his coat and wellies but he didn't have the heart to remove his hat yet. Well, when he said _his_, he really meant Louis's – the dusky grey chullo had been the closest to hand in the closet. It was wonderfully soft too and smelt amazing – like Louis's aftershave.

Liam sighed loudly beside him as he kicked off his boots and gratefully took the hot mug Niall proffered. He glanced at the other four mugs as he blew the steam from the surface, "Zayn and Louis up then, as well?"

Niall shook his head, "Nah, was going to go wake them up."

Harry's lit up, "I'll wake up Louis!" He opened the back door and reached down for something the others couldn't see. Then he closed the door, took his and Louis's mugs in one hand and made for the stairs, smirking evilly. Niall had seen what was in his hand as he passed and laughed after him, "Put the mugs down first!"

The curtains were drawn in Louis's room but there was enough light to make out everything that was above knee height. Hoping he wouldn't trip over anything and break his neck, Harry gingerly made his way over to the bed and carefully placed the mugs on the bedside cabinet. He then took the object in his right hand and broke a piece off in his gloved hand. Carefully learning over the bed, he squinted through the dim light and saw his mark. He smirked again and lowered his hand. The small lump of snow instantly started to melt as soon as it touched the warm skin and Harry grinned as the piece slid under the collar of Louis's t-shirt and down his back. Louis whined and shifted uncomfortably – starting to wake up.

Biting his lip and trying not to snigger, Harry leant forward again and, judging his timing, yanked Louis's collar, shoved the snow down it and then smushed it with the palm of his hand.

Louis let out a high-pitched yelp and rolled over, so much so that he fell out the other side of the bed with a thud. Harry dropped to the floor laughing his head off.

A few moments later, Louis was back on the bed and glaring down at him. Harry just laughed even harder, clutching his stomach, and gasped in surprise when Louis grabbed his jumper and yanked him upwards. The next thing he knew he was pinned down to the mattress and was being pummelled about the face by a pillow. Louis was shrieking things at him like 'you evil fucker' and 'I'll get you back for that, just you wait!' Harry could hardly breathe from laughing so much.

Eventually Louis stopped hitting him and squirmed against his abdomen, whining 'oh god, it's seeping into my boxers!' He made to hit Harry again with the pillow but Harry seized his wrists in mid air. The pillow tumbled to the duvet and then bounced off the bed. For a few seconds, they were suspended like that – their arms locked in the air and staring at each other, Harry grinning, Louis glaring.

Then Louis blinked, a look of surprise crossing his face, "is that my hat?"

"Yeah, why?"

Louis frowned, "Nothing... it's suits you… is all." It really did, Louis thought. Harry looked damned gorgeous in it, especially with those curls poking out the sides and those green eyes sparkling with so much mirth. There could also be something about the fact that it was _his_ hat and… _his_ black and grey striped rugby shirt Harry was wearing. The whole group had been sharing clothes from the very start but there was suddenly something about Harry wearing his clothes that made things flop weird and low in his stomach.

Harry's expression softened and Louis's arms wobbled a little to see so much emotion shining up at him so earnestly. Harry's voice was low and entreating when he said, "_Louis_," and it got Louis right in the sternum – leaving him breathless.

"_Harry,_" he whispered back and lowered his head. Harry's eyes never left his and Louis leaned right in until his nose was touching Harry's and he could smell the coffee on his friend's breath. Then he shook his head, rubbing his nose against Harry's cold one and delighting in it when he felt Harry's chuckle against his chin. He felt Harry doing something with his hands behind his back and there were two soft thuds as something landed on the floor. But he didn't have time to ponder for long as Harry's cold hands were suddenly raking through his hair and Louis couldn't remember why he wasn't supposed to just melt into the touch. He lowered his chest, resting now on his forearms and grabbed the tassels of the hat's earflaps - pulling Harry's head back even more. Harry chuckled again, now rubbing his nose in time with him – probably trying to warm his up. The smell of coffee was… really nice… and Louis realised his breath probably wasn't so sweet, having just woke up, so he started to pull back. Harry's grip in his hair tightened though and, as Louis stared down into those green depths, he saw as well as heard the murmured "it's okay."

Slowly, Harry sat them up, keeping their noses pressed together until Louis was sitting astride his lap with his arms around his neck. Harry's hands didn't let his hair go an inch and it was borderline between pleasure and pain. He could feel Harry's chest rising and falling rapidly and had an inkling of what was to come. It made his heart speed up and his palms start to sweat. He flashed back on Christian and Olli in this moment… he could recall vividly what happened next… he held his breath.

"Louis…" Harry whispered and Louis's stomach flipped. He closed his eyes and raised his hands to grip Harry's soft hat hard in his fists – unknowingly making more of the curls slip free.

Harry's nose slipped to the side of his and Louis knew, just _knew_, what was going to happen next. It both excited and made him nervous. He tilted his head slightly to the side and even with his eyes closed he knew that Harry was learning in even nearer, could feel Harry's breath growing warmer and warmer, ghosting his lips and he shivered. This was it…

SHOUT SHOUT LET IT ALL OUT!

Harry and Louis jerked away from each other in shock.

THESE ARE THE THINGS I CAN DO WITHOUT! COME ON!

Louis scrambled backwards off Harry's lap as Harry dug in his pocked for his mobile. He glanced at the caller id and groaned, pressing the answer button,

"Hi mum…" he glanced at Louis and blushed, ducking his head, "nothing much," he replied, "uh… just finished shovelling the drive with Liam…"

Louis started to shuffle off the bed but Harry grabbed his hand, stopping him for a moment. Turning around he met Harry's intense gaze. He offered a half smile and shook his head, then squeezed Harry's hand and let go, moving away to find his towel and some clothes from his cupboard.

As he did so, the bedroom door opened again and Liam peeked his head around the jamb. Louis switched on his lamp and Liam's eyes bugged out as he stared around at the tidy room.

"Holy crap Louis, have you been robbed?"

When Louis got out the shower, he decided to head on down to the laundry room to do some more washing. Although the door was open, he was cautious as he entered. Liam and Niall had promised to be more discreet but Louis didn't want to take anymore chances. One of the washing machines was going so someone must have been in here recently. He just hoped that his wet things had been removed before the next load of dirty washing went in. In this house, you should never assume anything.

He jumped to see someone sitting on top of the washing machine but it only took him a split second to realise it was Harry – not Louis and Niall.

"I wouldn't sit up there," he advised, walking over.

"Hmm?" Harry looked up from where he was reading the back of the powder box, "Oh, _why_?"

Louis smirked, "Well let's just say that I'm pretty sure some of the members of this household have taken advantage of the spin cycle and… I wouldn't be entirely sure that they cleaned up all the body fluids afterwards."

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Harry wailed: jumping off the machine like his arse was on fire. "_Louis_!"

Louis chuckled and held his hands up, "Wasn't me, honestly. I was the unfortunate victim in all that."

Harry snorted and shook his head, "Well, that would be a first."

Louis clutched his heart, "Oh, you wound me!"

Harry just rolled his eyes and put the powder box back on the shelf.

Louis walked over to the other machine and started to unload his washed clothes, throwing them into the tumble dryer without bothering to check whether they were suitable to be put in there.

"Louis?"

Louis looked up sharply, Harry had said his name so tentatively. It made Louis wary,

"Yeah Haz?"

Harry bit his lip and fidgeted uncomfortably, first crossing his arms and then dropping them to his sides, "About earlier..."

Louis straightened up, holding his breath. _Oh shit_… he thought. He wasn't prepared for this talk. His heart started to pound and he stared wide-eyed at his friend, who was doing everything but look at him. If he hadn't been so apprehensive Louis might have found it adorable how nervous was.

Several long moments ticked past and Louis wondered whether Harry was actually going to say anything.

"Oh fuck it!" Harry swore suddenly, making Louis jump. He was now striding towards Louis, purpose and determination glinting in his eye. Louis couldn't move, frozen on the spot. Harry grabbed his shoulders, yanking him forward and,

"Louis! Your mum's on the phone!"

Harry groaned loudly in utter disbelief. He dropped his hands, stepping back and looked close to tears. Louis found it quite amusing Harry was so disappointed about yet another interruption. He gave him an apologetic look, reaching up to pat Harry's cheek affectionately and stepped away.

"Louis! Where are you?" Niall shouted again.

"I'm coming, hang on!" Louis shouted back, heading for the kitchen. He glanced over his shoulder at the door to see Harry slumped against the dryer, his face in his hands. He looked so sad. Suddenly Louis felt really bad for finding it funny. He stopped and turned around, retracing his steps.

"Harry?"

Harry slowly looked up and, as quick as lightning, Louis stood up on tiptoe and pressed a kiss to the corner of Harry's mouth, mostly missing and getting more cheek than lip instead. Then he stepped away, turned around and walked out - without looking back this time. If he had, he would have seen Harry still leaning against the dryer, his fingers gripping the edge, staring after him with his eyes comically wide as his knees gave out, sinking him to the ground

**4 years later**

Things had changed so much over the past few years Liam reflected, staring down at the picture of the five of them at Louis's 21st birthday dinner. Not only had they all physically changed from teenagers into young men but the dynamics of their friendships had changed too. He wished it had _all_ been for the better. Most things _were_, Liam was having the time of his life, but he couldn't say the same for all his band mates.

He ran his finger over the young photographic faces fondly. The person to have changed the most, physically, had to be Niall, hands down. The amount he had transformed in four years was startling. No longer was he a bleached blond, crooked teethed teen with the undefined body of a 15-year-old. Now, Liam smiled warmly, touching the face of the then 19-year-old Niall, he was almost as tall as Harry; with a lean wiry body honed from hours of dance practice. His hair was short again and only had a few blond highlights – which made it look natural and gorgeous. His face was also more defined from the exercise, revealing gorgeous chiselled cheekbones. His teeth had been completely transformed too - into a totally knee-weakening smile. Yeah, Liam was ridiculously enamoured by his boyfriend. He was well aware of the fact – mainly because the others continued to tease him about it.

Sure, Niall hadn't _completely_ changed; he still had his strong Irish accent and was prone to blushing and laughing at everything but those were some of the things Liam loved the most. In his opinion, Niall was now the best looking of the band – but he might be a little biased. Although… he _had_ seen wars break out on Twitter between the fans as to who was the better looking between Niall, Harry and Louis. While Liam would concede that Harry was incredibly handsome for a guy, especially now that he'd shaved off that ludicrous moustache, he honestly did find Niall the more attractive of the two, which was a good thing!

Zayn was the one who was now at the mercy of fan outcry – his sleek black ponytail was hated by a vast majority of the girls. Liam agreed – it made Zayn look sleazy.

Louis had changed a bit too; he was as lean and fit as ever but there was a softness about him now – a fragile – almost feminine edge which drove the girls and guys wild. Only, Louis wasn't into that sort of attention any more – if he ever truly had been in the first place. He was quieter, almost hiding behind that impossibly feathered fringe – shy and sweet like Liam had been at the start of it all. Liam would have worried about this change had it not been for the fact they _all_ seemed to have swapped personalities somehow. Louis seemed to be a cross between the old Liam and Niall; Niall seemed to be a cross between the old Louis and Zayn (so hot and full of life); Liam, himself, was a cross between the old Zayn and Niall (confident in his relationship but bound to fits of blushing); Zayn seemed to adopted Harry's cheeky and dirty persona and Harry… Harry seemed to have morphed into someone even more angstier than Liam had been at the height of his most depressive spate.

That brought him neatly to the dynamics of the band. He stared down at the photograph; in it, Louis and Harry had their arms around each other – Harry's head resting on Louis's shoulder, whispering something and Louis looking down at him, laughing. They looked completely enamoured with each other. Beside Louis sat Niall, laughing at something Zayn had said. Liam was in the middle of the two, looking at Niall but leaning more towards Zayn. It was weird to remember how shy and awkward Niall and he had been with each other at that time. Only just starting their journey together. Looking at the photo, if he were an outsider then he would have predicted that Harry and Louis would have been the most likely candidates to be the band's long-term couple. He would never have guessed it would be himself and Niall.

Carefully, he slid out one of the most recent photographs of the five of them together from the new pack and laid it next to the older one.

Yeah, it really was amazing how things changed. This particular photo had been taken two weeks ago at Rebecca's wedding reception. The five of them were sat around a table – along with some of their other friends. Liam, himself, was standing behind Niall's chair, draped all over his boyfriend's shoulders and smiling in a ridiculously sappy way. Niall's arm was reaching up to hold the back of his head, automatically pulling him closer even though he was mid conversation with Aiden. It always amazed Liam how good he and Niall looked together these days – like they grew to compliment each other.

Zayn was sprawled back in the booth with his arms around his girlfriend (of almost two years), Myra. Zayn was chatting lazily to Louis, the pair having grown much closer over the last few years. In fact, Zayn had practically stole Harry's place as best friend, the two sometimes inseparable - whenever Louis wasn't joined at the hip of Joe (McElderry). And yeah, that latter friendship had been a surprise to Liam. Four years ago and Liam would have said there was little common ground between the two – Joe, shy and quiet and perhaps a little boring, Louis loud, noisy and wild. But, over time and with a lot of meetings at different events, a firm friendship between the two had been forged. Now, Louis absolutely adored the Geordie, so much so that Liam sometimes wondered if there was something more going on between the two.

That just left the youngest member of the band, Harry. In the picture, Harry sat in the chair next to Louis but the half metre between them might as well have been several miles. Harry was listening into Niall and Aiden's conversation but it was clear his mind was miles away. He looked miserable and lonely; the only expressions he'd worn on his face since Louis's 21st. Liam had never asked what happened that night but he could guess. Harry had probably admitted to having feelings for Louis and Louis had rejected him.

Why Louis might have rejected Harry Liam couldn't fathom because Liam was 100% convinced Louis had had a crush on the curly haired singer too. Whatever the reason was, Liam knew it was an important reason because Louis had stuck to it firmly – even though Harry was obviously hurting. If there was one thing Louis hated doing most in the world, that was hurting Harry. Therefore, the reason was definitely one that really mattered.

The others could only watch in dismay as Harry had withdrawn into himself – slowly spiralling into the dangerous territory Simon had forewarned.

Many times Liam had tried to figure out what Louis's reason might have been but he really couldn't come up with anything. He'd never asked because he knew Louis would never tell him. But still… Niall and himself were living proof that a relationship within a band could work.

The saddest part of the situation was Louis still always had time for Harry, always spared affection for his younger friend, painfully obvious in trying to keep Harry close but Harry seemed to struggle to appreciate it – like receiving any affection from Louis was painful in itself.

"What you doing?" a voice rumbled in his ear and Liam smiled, leaning backwards into Niall's warm embrace.

"Just sorting out some photographs," he replied.

Niall nosed his temple affectionately and Liam turned his head to share a soft but lingering kiss. When they pulled back, Niall reached down and pointed at the old picture, "Jesus, we've changed so much – I can't believe how blond I was – my head looks radioactive there!"

Liam laughed, "Yeah, and look how angsty I was back then. I look proper miserable!"

"But you looked so purdy with your sad face," Niall teased, playfully rubbing his stubbled cheek against Liam's, "plus, in this picture you had an excuse."

"Oh yeah," Liam smiled, turning around in seat and having to crane his neck up to meet his boyfriends sparkling grey eyes, "what was that?"

Niall smirked, "You were pining for me!"

Liam laughed, throwing his head back and Niall smiled down at him fondly. He then leaned down and Liam met him in another kiss, hooking his arm around Niall's neck and pulling him down into it. He moaned quietly as Niall's fingers raked into his hair. God, three years passed and Niall could still turn him on with the slightest touch.

"Ugh, you guys are sickeningly cute. Excuse me while I go and throw up."

Liam and Niall broke apart and turned to see Harry grimacing in the doorway, pulling his coat off.

"Hey, Harry. Have a good time?" Liam asked, not bothering to move away from Niall. Niall certainly didn't bother to move away – he had a thing for trying to gross out their friends.

Harry sighed and shrugged, "it was okay."

"Just okay?" Liam frowned. Normally Harry loved doing radio interviews – especially when it was Aiden doing the interviewing.

"I dunno," said Harry gruffly, "I just wasn't in the mood today."

Liam patted Niall's waist to let him up and he crossed the room to his younger band mate. "Harry, is everything alright? You haven't been 'in the mood' for quite a long time?" Four years to be exact.

"I'm fine," said Harry, shrugging again, "just going through a reflective phase I guess."

Liam shook his head and pulled Harry into a firm hug. To his surprise, Harry hugged him back – so tightly he was practically clinging to him. "You know," Liam murmured in his ear, "if you ever need to talk about anything then I'm here."

Harry nodded.

_Six weeks later…_

There were in Birmingham for six days for the third leg of their Nocturnal Mind tour. They were to play three dates and have the other three days off. Each concert so far had been completely sold out and drawing the kind of crazy behaviour as Beatle Mania had back in the 60's. It was both thrilling and frightening for all of them – still not used to the attention. These days they couldn't even take a walk down the street without being mobbed. It was touching how much the fans cared but it was also frustrating when they just wanted a few moments of normality.

This would be the sixth time they'd performed at the LG Arena since Louis's collapse. Harry dreaded it every time because, no matter how much he tried to concentrate on the show, his eyes kept falling back to the spot Louis had fallen down. He hated every single emotion the memory brought back and every new one it dredged up. Once upon a time, he would have talked to Louis about it and Louis would have reassured him that everything was okay. Not now. They had lost that closeness four years ago when Louis had effectively stabbed his heart with the metaphorical knife. The worst of the matter was he completely understood why Louis had done it, had actually agreed with the logic (at the time); the _sad_ fact of the matter was that in doing so, they had damaged their friendship anyway. What was even worse… Harry had realised, over the years, that that crush thing wasn't just a silly teenage crush. It ran a hell of a lot deeper than that. And now, the fool that he was, Harry was pining desperately for something that could never happen.

After the second concert, wherein he had spent 3 hours trying to act like he wasn't head over heels in love with Louis, while throwing an arm around his shoulder and singing about soul mates, and trying not to think about that set of stairs at the edge of the stage, Harry was in desperate need of a drink. Alone. However, Zayn put an end to some solitary reflective time by inviting himself and everyone else along. Harry had little choice but to shut up and put up.

They went to Wetherspoons and set up camp in one of the back booths. Thankfully, it was an older crowd tonight so they didn't have droves of teenagers coming up to them, asking for photos and autographs. Harry sat at the bar, nursing a glass of Vodka and Coke while the others chatted up the locals. He was glad for the peace to think, he had a lot of things to consider, particularly one major one that would change his life forever. He was thinking of leaving the band. Not to go solo or anything – no, he just wanted to stop feeling so miserable… he wanted to stop feeling like his heart was being pulled out every time he looked at their oldest band member. He just wanted to forget it all, find somewhere he could hide away and move on with his life. It had been four years and he _still_ hadn't moved on – the thought of another four like this made him want to cry. His only chance was to remove himself from the situation.

"Hey!" He closed his eyes in agony as a familiar hand landed on his shoulder, the fingers curling into his collarbone. "Can I get you a top up?"

Harry shook his head, even though his glass was nearly empty and he wanted another, "No thanks, I'm fine with this just now."

"Okay," said Louis lightly, "Listen we're going to set up some pool in a minute? Fancy a game? I'll even let you break." He waggled his eyebrows, probably hoping that it would enticing. It was, and that was the problem.

"Maybe later," said Harry, staring into his glass, "I just want some time to myself for a while."

There was a moment's paused and then Louis replied, "Okay Harry." And Harry didn't dare look up, didn't dare glance at the hurt expression he knew was crossing his friend's face. He just couldn't deal with Louis at the moment, couldn't deal with everything the guy made him feel, didn't have the energy to pretend otherwise.

About an hour later, the pub had gotten really busy. Harry had moved to a stool at the far end of the bar to avoid the queue trying to buy a drink. Unfortunately, not everyone seemed to get the vibe that he wanted to be left alone. One woman in particular kept trying to flirt with him, pretending she hadn't heard of One Direction when clearly she had. She was beautiful, no doubt about that, but Harry just wasn't interested. In the end, he had to rejoin his friends at the table just to get away from her. Of course, when you're down and you think things can't get any worse, you find that they actually can.

No more than twenty minutes later, after he sat down at the table next to Niall, a beefy man, probably a rugby player judging by the tattoos and lack of teeth, stormed up to them.

"What's this I hear about you chatting up my girlfriend?" He demanded of Harry. Harry groaned under his breath, could this get anymore cliché?

"I haven't been chatting up your girlfriend," he replied through clenched teeth.

"Funny," the man sneered, "but my friends say different."

"Well your friends are stupid," Harry snapped back. It was a mistake, he knew, from the moment the last word left his mouth. The man seized a hold of his shirt and yanked him to his feet, face uncomfortably close to Harry's. Harry could smell the strong odour of alcohol on the man's breath.

"Would you like to repeat that?"

Harry opened his mouth, ready to repeat it, because suddenly he was itching for a fight.

"Hey!" said a voice loudly from behind them, "I think you need to step back Mister and calm the fuck down."

The man slowly relaxed his grip and turned to face Louis.

"What's this got to do with you?"

"It'll have everything to do with me if you touch my friend again," Louis said coldly.

"Leave it Louis," said Harry, "this arsehole was just leaving anyway."

Wrong thing to say again. It happened in a blink of an eye. The man rounded on Harry, aiming a punch at his jaw. Louis jumped forward, grabbing the man's arm, stopping it from connecting. The man spun around, jabbing Louis hard in the stomach and making Louis let go, before turning back to Harry, making a violent grab for him. Harry side-stepped just in time and the man fell forward – landing on the table, knocking the drinks flying.

Before anyone could do anything more, two bouncers appeared and grabbed the man by his wrists. "What did I tell you last time Malloy," one of them snarled.

"Anyone hurt?" the other asked.

Liam hurried around to Louis who was bent double, and put a steady arm around his chest, helping him stand up straighter. Louis waved at the bouncers in an offhand way, "I'm fine, just winded."

"Okay lads," they hefted the Malloy upright, "right you, time to go," and they dragged him away.

"Are you sure you're okay Louis?" Liam asked, concerned, as he helped Louis to the table.

"I'm fine," Louis said again, "just got the wind knocked out of me."

"What did you think you were doing?" snarled Harry. He suddenly felt irrationally angry. Stupid Louis putting himself in danger and getting himself hurt. Yeah, maybe he was more scared than angry but it was damn well coming out as anger.

"I was trying to stop you getting a black eye," said Louis coolly.

"I don't need you, of all people, to protect me," Harry snapped, "I wish you'd just leave me alone for once."

"Harry!" Liam admonished but Harry had had enough. He turned and walked for the door.

"Harry!" It wasn't Liam but Louis who called to him this time.

He paused for a moment, indecisive as to whether to turn around or not – it was Louis after all. The coward that he was, though, had him start walking again.

"Don't walk away from me Harry!" Louis shouted, sounding angry now too.

Harry ignored him and pushed out of the door into the night air. It wasn't that busy on the street, it was a Wednesday night after all. He started to walk, having nowhere in mind but just wanting to get rid of the ridiculous anger boiling in his blood.

"Harry!"

For the love of God, Harry thought, could he not take a fucking hint? He resolutely walked on.

"Harry!" Louis called after him again, sounding irritated, "I said don't walk away from me!"

Harry gritted his teeth.

"Why are you acting like this?" Louis shouted. "Harry!"

Harry willed himself to be strong and keep walking.

"Jesus! When will you stop acting like a child!" Louis yelled again, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

It took every ounce of restrain for Harry not to rise to the bait.

"Harry! Harry! Harry… wait… please," there was pleading in Louis's voice now and Harry was almost tempted to stop and turn around. "Harry, please!" Louis sounded pained and as much as it hurt Harry to hear Louis upset, he couldn't bring himself to give in. If he did, it would probably be an epic disaster.

"Harry please, wait!" Louis's voice was getting quieter, evidently he'd stopped following him. Part of him was glad but part of him hurt at Louis giving up so soon. Hischest burned, as did his throat – this was so hard and hurt so much.

"Harry please! Please, I beg you. Wait! Please! Turn around."

Turn around? Harry frowned. That was an odd thing to say. Why not _stop_?

"Please!" Louis's voice entreated again, "Harry, _turn around_!"

For some reason he couldn't understand, he stopped and turned around. It took him a moment to spot Louis, because his friend wasn't where he expected him to be. Instead, Louis was holding on to a signpost, bent double and clutching his stomach. Harry felt momentarily guilty because Louis had just been punched in the stomach and was chasing after him instead of resting.

Suddenly Louis's legs crumpled and he fell to his knees. Okay, that wasn't normal and before he knew what he was doing, Harry was sprinting back up the street.

"Louis!"

He skidded to his knees, heart thumping, and put a steadying arm around Louis's chest, helping him sit back. "Louis? What's wrong?" Even by the dim streetlights he could see Louis was pale. Louis whimpered and clutched his stomach.

"It hurts," he gasped before curling in on himself in agony. Harry pushed him down to the ground, making him lie still, like he'd been taught in first aid.

"Harry… I… don't feel right," Louis grabbed his sleeve, looking and sounding scared.

"Hey, shhh, shhh, it's okay," said Harry soothingly, cupping Louis's cheek. He then put a hand on Louis's abdomen and Louis all but screamed. "Sorry! Sorry!" Harry apologised quickly. His hand brushed against the shirt as he moved it away, causing the material to rise. He only caught it out the corner of his eye – a shadow that didn't seem quite right on the exposed skin. Not knowing why, he gently smoothed the shirt upwards and he had to blink twice, unsure whether the street lamps were playing tricks with him. There was a large dark patch over Louis's stomach area. Suddenly Louis rolled over and coughed harshly, it sounded wet and painful. He rubbed Louis's arm and stared at the dark patch – that bruise was massive and very quick to appear.

"Oh my _god_," Harry's head snapped up at the sheer terror in Louis's voice.

"What is it?" He asked, fear gripping his heart.

Silently, Louis held his hand up to the light. It was covered in blood. Harry couldn't get to his mobile quick enough.

While they had waited for the ambulance, Harry had frantically called Liam, never once letting go of Louis's hand. At first he couldn't get through, Liam obviously not able to hear it over the noise of the music. On the fifth attempt, Niall answered. Harry spoke to him in a rush, explaining was had happened then hung up. As the ambulance pulled up at the curb, lights flashing, Liam, Zayn and Niall came pelting down the street. Harry jumped up to meet them.

"What happened?" Liam cried, grabbing a hold of Harry.

"He just collapsed," Harry wailed, suddenly not quite able to control himself.

Liam pulled him into a tight hug. The ambulance door opened and a paramedic climbed out.

"What's his name," he asked as he approached them.

"Louis," Harry replied shakily, "Louis Tomlinson."

"Louis!" Zayn crouched down next to Louis, "Louis, you're okay mate." He took Louis's hand.

"Zayn…" Louis said weakly, his eyes fluttering.

"Okay," the paramedic crouched down too, "can I ask you to stand back a moment sir."

Zayn shimmied back as the paramedic started to talk to Louis, "Hi there Louis, my name's Robert, I'm with the Central Midlands Ambulance Service. Can I ask how old you are?"

"Twenty five," Louis murmured. His eyes closing.

"Louis," Robert said firmly, "open your eyes for me. I know it's hard."

Louis's eyes fluttered open again.

"That's good, can you tell me how you feel?"

Louis didn't reply.

"Louis?" said the paramedic again, "Louis open your eyes for me. Louis? Can you hear me?

Harry made to rush forward, panic crushing his chest but Liam held him back firmly.

"Patient's gone unconscious," Robert said to the other paramedic who placed the medical bag next to his partner. The man then turned to the rest of them, "Any of you see what happened?"

Harry stepped forward, "I was with him when he collapsed," he said quickly, "he got punched in the stomach by an idiot in the pub. We… uh… were walking…" he winced as he thought how Louis must have struggled to keep up with him, God he should have turned around sooner... "His legs gave out and he fell to the ground, clutching his stomach. I accidentally touched him and he screamed in pain. Then, just as I noticed he had a massive bruise over his abdomen he coughed up blood. That's when I called you."

The paramedic nodded, "and do you know if Louis has any history of medical conditions?"

Harry screwed his eyes up, trying to remember what had been said the last time, "He's allergic to penicillin and four years ago got septicaemia from a kidney infection. He was in a coma for almost a week. Then, later on, one of the arteries burst in his kidney and he nearly bled to death." Okay, that last bit came out more dramatic than he had planned and he felt Liam grip his shoulders tightly.

"Dave!" Robert called out and the paramedic returned quickly to his partner's side. Harry could see that Louis's shirt was now hiked up past his sternum. Evidently the paramedic had seen the bruising too.

They waited impatiently as the paramedics worked quietly for a few minutes, transferring Louis to a trolley and hooking him up to various items. Finally one of them looked over to them,

"We need to transfer your friend to hospital straight away. Would one of you care to ride along?"

"You go," said Liam to Harry, pushing him forward, "we'll catch a cab over. Which hospital…?"

"Queen Elizabeth," the paramedic replied. Harry felt his knees give a little. That was the hospital Louis went to last time. He died two times there.

"Steady Harry," said Liam, soothingly.

"Sir," Robert gestured to Harry to come forward.

Harry followed the paramedic up into the back of the truck, watching as they strapped the trolley up to the floor locks. He then took a seat on the opposite trolley and reached for Louis's hand. He heard the siren switch on, felt his stomach lurch and the roar of the engine coming to life. Unable to look at Louis's face, knowing he wouldn't be able to handle it, he raised his friend's hand to his lips instead and kissed it firmly. If anything happened, anything worse that is, Harry would _never_ be able to forgive himself.

In was unreal. Harry couldn't believe it. He just couldn't. He stared up at the placard, wondering if this was some kind of nightmare or just karma being a bitch. Room 317 – the same one Louis had been in four years ago.

Harry swiped his sleeve over his eyes and pushed the door open, grateful that his friends had let him go in first.

The rhythmic beeping and the soft whoosh that met his ears, brought back every single bad memory of the last time. Eyes blurred, Harry made his way unsteadily to the bed. Louis wasn't all that different from last time either. Definitely older but still delicately featured. His hair was longer than last time and more feathered. There was also a more prominent outline of stubble. Harry knew though, that behind those purple tinged eyelids, his eyes were exactly the same shade of blue.

"I love you," he whispered, stroking his fingers carefully down the cool pale cheeks.


	5. Chapter 5

Liam stood at the podium, facing the media circus. He was too exhausted to feel any more emotion. He felt empty and cold – yearning for Niall's warm touch. But Niall was helping their producer sort out the arrangements for tomorrow night. It was his job to brief the media – and he would do it. This was the role he had accepted. Even though it was so hard – he had to get through it.

His voice, when he spoke, sounded hollow and harsh, even to his own ears. "Last night, following a brief clash with a member of the public. in which he sustained a punch to the stomach, Louis collapsed. He was rushed to Queen Elizabeth Hospital where he has been undergoing treatment for a ruptured artery. Although he pulled through the emergency operation, he is still in a serious critical condition.

Doctors believe that he will require secondary treatment in the near future so he will remain in hospital until that time. We thank everyone for their concern and well wishes and we shall keep you informed of Louis's condition on our website. We beg for some privacy too as this is a very difficult time for the band and Louis's family. As of yet our scheduled tour dates are still going ahead but we shall advise as soon as possible if this changes. Thank you."

He stepped shakily back from the podium and felt Simon squeeze his shoulder. As much as he tried to ignore it, he had a gut feeling that the next time he was at this podium, the news would be worse.

"I know you said we couldn't risk putting our friendship on the line for something neither of us were sure about…" Harry whispered, his lips brushing against Louis's knuckles.

"But it's been over four years and… I haven't got over you," a tear slipped down his cheek and he brushed it away with his shoulder. "God knows I've tried, I really have but instead I find myself liking you more and more. I'm twenty-three now Louis, I'm not a kid or a horny teen anymore so when I tell you I'm sure, I really, truly mean it. Because I _am_ sure. You're everything to me and these last four years, not being able to be as close to you as I want… as I need… have just about destroyed who am I am. I _need_ you Louis. I need you so much." He pressed another kiss to Louis's knuckles. "I'm ready to put our friendship on the line because what we have at the moment is not a proper friendship – not like we used to have. Either way I can't go on like this. I can't go on pretending everything's okay when it's not.

I also can't lose you, not like this. Not here and with so much unsaid between us. At the very least you owe me that kiss. Yes, the one we almost went through with over four years ago – with no interruptions – until you damned well interrupted it yourself! If you'd let it happen you would have been able to see that I was genuine – that I was serious."

Beep.

Harry squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, "No, don't do this."

Beep.

"Please Louis, don't do this. Don't do this." Beep beep.

"I love you," Harry cried, "I love you so much so please don't do this!" Beep beep beep beep beep.

Openly crying, Harry let one of the orderlies push him back to the door. "Please Louis," he begged quietly, "please don't leave me."

"Charge to 200 joules. Clear!" Louis's back arched.

"Patient's still in arrest!" The nurse called back.

Harry wrapped his arms around his chest, sobbing, "_Come on Louis._"

"Ready to shock, clear!" Louis's back arched again but the beeping continued mockingly. "Increase the adrenalin by one measure. Charging, clear!" Louis's back arched again.

"Increasing the adrenalin," the nurse informed the room.

"Come on Louis," Harry begged, "please, stop doing this." One of the attendants was now performing chest compressions. The doctor readied the paddles again.

"Charging… clear!" Louis's back arched again but the beeping refused to stop.

"We're at maximum dosage," the nurse advised. The doctor nodded grimly and readied the paddles once more, "Charging… clear!" Louis's back arched again. _Come on, come on, come on, come on, come,_ Harry chanted, trembling from head to foot.

The doctor put down the paddles and pulled out a pen light and a stethoscope. After a few moments of listening to Louis's chest and flashing the light in his eyes the doctors said, "I don't think we can do any more. I'm going to call time of…"

"NO!" Harry shrieked, "No! One more time, please! Just one more time please!" He rushed forward and grabbed her coat pleadingly, "please, just try one more time!"

"I can't-" she started to say.

"Please, quickly, just one more time. I beg you please!"

"He's still showing a low tachycardia rhythm," the nurse murmured, "came back two shocks ago."

The doctor looked torn.

"Please," Harry sobbed, "please, one more try!"

"I could lose my job…"

"I won't tell!"

The three attendants also shook their heads.

Sighing, the doctor raised the paddles, "charge to 200 joules!" The machine whirred and Harry scrambled backwards, "ready to shock! Clear!" Louis arched again. Every set of eyes immediately stared at the heart monitor. _Come on, come on, come on_, Harry pleaded. He couldn't even see the green line, his tears blurring his vision too much, but he could hear the alarm. Seconds dragged past but nothing changed. All the attendants looked down at their feet.

"NO!" Harry screamed.

"I'm sorry," the doctor said, "but I'm calling time of death at…"

"I'm sorry," the doctor said, "but I'm calling time of death at…"

Blip

The room froze. Harry went silent.

Blip

Very slowly, every head turned towards the heart monitor.

Blip

Five mouths dropped open as the green line rose in a bumpy sin and then fell again. That was impossible. Wasn't it, Harry thought faintly? Louis's heart just couldn't start on it's own? Could it? He had to be hallucinating... too desperate to think logically. He knew he was shaking and crying but he didn't care… he just stared hard at the monitor, moving closer, daring it to beep again.

Blip

"No _fucking_ way," the doctor finally breathed as Harry went weak at the knees - like someone had just let go of him from a great height.

The three attendants heads snapped around to gape at the doctor but she ignored them, scrambling around the bed instead to grab the monitor. She stared at it hard, her nose nearly squashed against the screen, "that's fucking impossible!" She said again, shaking her head vehemently.

Blip.

"Patient has resumed normal sinus rhythm," the nurse announced unnecessarily.

"That is _not_ possible," the doctor said again, refusing to believe what she could hear and see. "That is not medically possible. This has to be a joke!"

Harry wanted to say something stupid to her like, "don't sound so surprised. Even on his deathbed Louis likes to play pranks." Instead, what came out of his mouth was a choking sound, which could have been a laugh, a cry or even a scream. Next thing he knew his vision was going dark.

"Louis? Louis can you hear me?"

Louis groaned, trying to fight away the urge to fall back under. He felt sluggish, like he was drugged to the eyeballs with morphine, and that his eyelids were taped down, because he really couldn't move them.

"Louis," the familiar voice coaxed again, "can you open your eyes?" Oh, so they weren't taped down… With every ounce of his will, Louis flashed his eyes open, only catching a glimpse of white light and dark shadows. His eyelids felt like lead. God, his abdomen ached too and there was a horrible loud thudding in head.

"Louis, that's it! Open your eyes." Louis groaned, couldn't Liam turn the volume of his voice down a little? It roared through his ears, sounding warped and painful.

"Too loud…" he croaked. He heard laughter in reply – it sounded relieved and happy. Sleep was dragging him under again, "s'tired," he mumbled before falling back unconscious.

The next time he woke up, the weight against his eyes felt lighter. "Louis?" Liam queried, his voice blessedly quieter this time.

Louis blinked and slowly opened his eyes. The light was as harsh as the last time and it took him a few attempts to get used to it. It took him even longer to make out what the splotches of colour actually were.

"L…Liam?" God, he mouth was so dry.

"Sssh, here, sip this," Louis felt something springy being pressed against his lips. He let the straw in and took a feeble slurp. The water was ice cold and slipped roughly over his tongue. He took another sip, using his tongue to weakly brush the liquid around his mouth, making it slick and smooth. The tiny amount of water he swallowed settled heavily in his stomach and made him suddenly feel sick. He quickly let go of the straw and turned his head.

"Hey mate," Zayn's head appeared next to Liam's overhead and Louis couldn't help but smile.

"Hi," he whispered. For a moment, he let his eyes drift shut, fighting sleep, but then he forced them open again and looked up. "What happened this time?"

"You got punched in the gut," said Zayn softly, leaning down to brush Louis's fringe out his eyes, "and it caused the artery in your kidney to burst, like before."

"They've temporarily secured it again," Liam added, "but they're going to give you another operation, tomorrow I think, to put a thicker lining around it so that it won't burst so easily. In the meantime, you are not allowed to move, _at all_. They say the slightest impact could cause the temporary closure to rupture."

"What do you mean _again?_" Louis asked, closing his eyes again.

Liam and Zayn looked uneasily at each other, "Um…" said Liam, "they had to perform surgery when you got here but uh… later on, when you were recovering, you went into cardiac arrest. The shocks from the paddles ruptured your artery again so they had to rush you back into surgery."

"Oh," Louis murmured; that explained why his chest was so sore as well as his abdomen. He looked from Liam to Zayn and back again, why did it feel like something was missing…?

"Where's Harry?" He croaked, suddenly realising what it was. He was disappointed that Harry wasn't here this time – he had always been before...

"He's in casualty."

"_What_?" Louis's eyes snapped open fully; alarmed.

"Zayn!" Liam whined, smacking his friend in the chest for being so blunt.

"What happened?" Louis asked urgently, making a feeble grab for Liam's sleeve.

"Um…" Liam hesitated, "uh… well… see the thing is… Harry was there when you went into cardiac arrest and… the um… doctor kept shocking you but you wouldn't respond and she… uh… started to call time of death and Harry, well he didn't take that well at all, as you can imagine. But then your heart just started beating again and I think the relief was just to much for him. He passed out."

"And brained himself on the floor," Zayn finished, rolling his eyes.

"Zayn!" Liam groaned, smacking him in the chest again.

"_What_?" Louis cried, starting to sit up in panic but four hands immediately shot out to hold him down.

"Whoa!" Zayn cried, pushing his right shoulder back firmly to the pillow.

"Louis, you can't move," said Liam urgently, holding down his left, "you can't afford to rupture your artery again!"

"But Harry…" Louis protested, fighting against them.

"Is okay," Liam said firmly, "He's just sustained a concussion, that's all. Niall's with him right now. The doctors are going to keep an eye on him over night – like they do with all concussion cases. Worst case scenario he'll spend the rest of the night nursing a thumping sore head and occasionally puking his guts up."

Louis swallowed thickly, "Less of the talk about spewing please," he begged, closing his eyes and willing his own stomach to settle.

"Sorry," Liam apologised.

"So, how on earth did my heart start beating on its own?" Louis asked, changing the subject.

Liam chuckled, "Nobody knows. The nurses are hailing it a miracle. The doctor, on the other head, went kind of mental. She practically threw the heart machine out into the hallway, shouting about people not checking the equipment properly and potential lawsuits. I don't think she believes in miracles."

Louis woke up again several hours later when the door to the room opened. It was done so quietly but, because he was only dozing lightly, it still registered. He blinked his eyes open and realised it must be quite late in the evening because the main lights were off and his blinds were closed. He couldn't sit up though, he neither had the strength nor the idiocy to try without help. It just meant he couldn't see his visitor until they were practically hovering over him.

"Harry?" He gasped, seeing the outline of curls first before his face. Harry stared down at him, his eyes glistening in the dim light. Louis stared right back up at him and smiled. Harry's bottom lip wobbled.

"On no," Louis pleaded, dropping his smile as he weakly reached out for Harry's arm, "don't give me the waterworks, _please_. You'll just start me off and I'll end up choking to death on my own snot because I can't sit up and blow my nose."

Harry choked over a laugh or it could have been a sob and Louis had to sniffle to keep himself from tearing up too. He stared up at his beloved friend and bit his lip. There was a white bandage wrapped around Harry's forehead, which just accentuated the puffiness of his eyes and the paleness of his cheeks. His gaze softened, Harry looked a right mess, "Hey, what have you been doing to yourself?" He reached up stroke Harry's face gently. Harry's eyes closed at the contact and he took in a long, wet shuddering breath, "hey now," Louis soothed, "it's okay."

"I'm… s… sorry," Harry stammered back, so quiet Louis almost couldn't hear him.

"Nothing to be sorry for," said Louis softly, "how come you're up here, though? I thought the hospital was keeping you in a ward overnight? For the concussion?"

"I snuck out…" Harry admitted, "needed to see you before tomorrow… before your operation… but I've only got about ten minutes before they notice I've gone, so I can't stay long."

"You snuck out? _Harry_," Louis admonished gently, "you should be resting, not staggering around the hospital half-concussed. What if you'd passed out on the way up here, hmm?"

"Just wanted to see you," Harry replied tearfully, sitting down in the seat next to the bed and taking Louis's hand in his. Louis smiled and linked their fingers.

"I'm glad," he replied, honestly. Harry gave him a watery but real smile in return.

"So what time are they taking you down tomorrow?"

"12 o'clock," Louis replied.

Harry straightened in the chair, "twelve o'clock!" he cried, "But I want to be here before you go under!"

Louis frowned, "I want you to be too, why can't you?"

"It's the christening tomorrow," said Harry miserably.

"That's tomorrow! Shit," Louis whistled, "I didn't realise it was so close."

"I know," Harry sighed, "maybe I could call Gemma and cancel…"

"Don't be thick Harry," snorted Louis, rolling his eyes, "you're the _god-father_. You've got to be there otherwise there's no point in the Christening going ahead!"

"I know," Harry sighed.

"What time does it start?"

"Nine thirty." Harry rubbed his temple wearily, "Hey, maybe if I don't hang around for the party afterwards and just come straight back to the hospital, I can be here before you go. I'm sure Gemma will understand. It's, what, an hour and a half's drive from here to Holmes Chapel. The ceremony won't last more than an hour so if I leave at about ten thirty, I could make it back here on time!" He suddenly grinned, sitting up straighter.

"Just be careful," replied Louis softly, smiling at Harry's enthusiasm, "I don't want you having an accident just because you're rushing to get back."

"Louis, after earlier, I can't _not_ be there to see you off, I…" Harry choked, "I didn't get a chance… before…"

"Hey," Louis soothed, rubbing his thumb into the back of Harry's hand, "shh, it's okay, I get it. I'm just so sorry I put you through that again."

Harry laughed lowly, "Not your fault in the slightest."

"Nor is it yours Harry," replied Louis, meaningfully.

There was a quiet tap on the door and Niall poked his head around the jamb, "Harry, sorry, but you've got to get back in a minute."

"Yeah okay," Harry nodded at him and Niall shut the door again.

He looked back to Louis who was smirking now at him, shaking his head lightly, "So you dragged Niall into helping you bust out. That's awful."

Harry grinned, "What can I say, I'm a bad influence."

"More likely a bad blackmailer. What did you threaten him with?"

"Posting those pictures of him snogging the Justin Bieber poster on Twitter."

Louis grinned, "You've still got them?"

"Yep, safely locked away - along with all the other blackmail pictures I have on everyone."

"Yeah?" said Louis quietly.

Harry stood up and leaned over the bed, "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Hopefully," said Louis, smiling, "but please don't worry if you can't make it back on time."

"I _will_ make it back on time," Harry promised, "I _have_ to." He dropped down to press a gentle kiss against Louis's cheek. Pulling back, he stroked the skin tenderly where he'd just kissed, "I love you."

Louis's eyes filled with tears. He never thought he'd hear Harry say those words again. He reached up to cover Harry's hand, "I love you too," he croaked, staring into Harry's eyes, "very much and forever."

Harry's bottom lip quivered and he leant down further. This might be his last chance. He went slowly enough so that Louis knew exactly what he was doing. He got to about five inches when Louis reached up and placed a finger against his mouth, stopping his descent.

"Wait."

Harry was so close to crying again. A second rejection hurt just as much, if not more, than the first one.

"Hold that thought," Louis whispered, "until I'm better and can enjoy it and am less likely to throw up on you."

Harry's let out a shaky breath and stared down at Louis, trying to judge whether he was being serious. Louis stared back at him unblinkingly and Harry felt his heart skip several beats, Louis _was_ being serious. It wasn't a 'no' – it was a 'later'.

"I love you," tumbled from his lips again and he pressed another kiss to Louis's cheek before stepping back and heading for the door.

"No sign, yet?" Louis asked as Liam appeared in his peripheral vision.

Liam shook his head apologetically, "Niall's gone outside to call him."

"I told him not to worry about it," Louis whined, "If he's got himself hurt…"

"Hey!" Liam said sharply, leaning over the trolley and gripping his shoulder, "don't you even _think_ about getting worked up. He's probably just caught up in traffic."

"Yeah he is," said Niall breathlessly, jogging into the room. "They're stuck behind an accident on the M6."

"How far out?" Louis asked.

"About two miles from junction 11a but he says traffic's moving although only at a snail's pace."

"It's only twenty to," said Liam, checking his watch, "he _could_ still make it – especially if the doctors are running late."

Harry sprinted up the pathway and into the foyer, nearly knocking into a woman coming out of the automatic doors. He shouted an apology over his shoulder but continued to run, making for the familiar staircase. He took the steps two at a time and raced down the corridor as fast as he could. Rounding into the ICU waiting area, he skidded to a halt as he saw Niall and Liam just standing there, talking beside the coffee machine. One look at Liam's face and he knew he was too late.

He slumped into the nearest chair and pinched his nose. He had wanted to be there! It was so unfair! He had wanted to be there so desperately. God damned stupid fucking accident! Why couldn't people be more fucking careful on the roads! He looked up as Liam approached.

"He went down about ten minutes ago," Liam told him quietly, "They couldn't wait, I'm sorry."

Harry sighed and kicked the floor in frustration. Ten bloody minutes – they couldn't wait ten bloody minutes.

"Louis gave me a message to give to you though."

Harry looked up and saw Liam's mouth twitching in amusement, "What?" He asked carefully, feeling his stomach flip that Louis had left a message for _him_.

"He said you better not beat yourself up over not making it," Harry rolled his eyes and Liam's smile widened, "but if you want to make it up to him then you can be there when he wakes up to hold back his hair when he pukes."

"Ugh," Harry wrinkled his nose, "that's not what I had in mind."

"I don't know," chuckled Niall, coming up behind Liam and resting his chin on his shoulder and smirking at Harry, "I think that's a fair deal."

"Indeed," Liam nodded, looking way too amused by the idea.

Louis was dozing, mostly out of sheer boredom when there was a knock on his door. Tomorrow he would finally be getting out of here – even though it was basically to eight weeks of house arrest instead. He frowned at the door; very few people knocked and waited these days. Hospitals weren't big on privacy. The lads normally just walked right in, not even caring if his nurse was changing the catheter bag or in the middle of giving him a bed-bath. Same with his parents and sisters. Joe just tapped the wood a few times before strolling right in. Even the nurses normally just knocked the once and then opened the door – so whoever this was wasn't a regular visitor.

"Come in," he called out.

To say he was surprised who walked in would be an understatement.

"Uncle Simon?" he grinned, "Hi, come to throw me out of the band for being an annoying, unreliable idiot?"

Simon chuckled, "Have you seen the amount of press One Direction is getting at the moment because of you? I wouldn't throw you out the band even if you were a serial murderer. I would just record the albums from the asylum." He walked in and took a seat in the visitor's chair, looking way too posh in his expensive suit to be sitting in a hospital room - especially when Louis was just wearing his pyjamas. "So how are you feeling Louis?" He asked, sounding jovial.

"Happier knowing I'm getting out of here tomorrow," Louis replied.

"Funny you should say that," said Simon. Louis eyed him warily – he did not want to stay here any longer than absolutely necessary.

"Why?" He asked cautiously.

"Well, I was thinking it might be a good idea if you spent your recovery period somewhere completely stress-free; somewhere you can build up your strength with specialised doctors and therapists on hand."

"I'm listening…"

"There's a clinic in Los Angeles called the Charlotte Lea Wellness Centre. They specialise in getting patients back on their feet after major surgery. In ten weeks they'll get you back into top shape, both mentally and physically, without any interruptions from the press or fans. It's not cheap but Syco would pay for it, naturally."

"What's the catch, then?"

Simon smiled, "there really isn't one – well… not really. The only thing the centre is strict on is outside contact. You can't communicate with your family or friends during your stay there."

"You mean I couldn't talk to the band or my parents for ten weeks?" Louis gasped, immediately feeling lonely and nervous – he hadn't spent more than a week without seeing the boys in some form or fashion in almost six years.

Simon shook his head, "but at the end of it you should feel fitter and stronger than you've done for years. You'll also get a specialised voice coach for the duration who will help you get your strength back in your lungs. It means you'll be ready to jump right back into the band at the end of the ten weeks. In fact, you'll probably run rings around the other lads on stage."

Louis bit his lip.

"So," said Simon, "what do you think?"

Louis sucked on his tongue for a moment, thinking, "When would I be leaving?"

Simon checked his watch, "In approximately half an hour. There'll be a special medical plane waiting at the airport by now."

Louis shook his head in disbelief, "I guess I have little choice then."

Simon grinned, showing off all his porcelain teeth like a tiger, "That's the spirit!"

"I seriously thought that was a woman," Niall wailed as the four of them walked towards Room 317. The other three sniggered.

"Well," said Zayn, "I have to admit I've never seen tits that big on a man before. I thought he was a woman too for a minute until I saw his beard." Liam guffawed even louder as he pushed the door open to Louis's room.

"He was holding a handbag," Niall protested, elbowing his boyfriend in the ribs for laughing at him.

"But it was obviously his wife's handbag," said Harry, "although, at a distance, I would maybe struggle to tell which of them was the woman and which was the man."

"Hey Lou-" Liam began before pulling up short in surprise. The bed was empty and sitting in the visitor's chair was none other than Simon Cowell. "Simon? What's going on?"

Harry pushed forward to see. "Where's Louis?" he demanded, stepping in front of Liam and growing alarmed to see the bed empty. Louis had looked so much better when they had left for lunch earlier – talkative and in good spirits. Surely nothing could have gone wrong in such a short space of time? Fear sudden clutched at his insides.

"Relax Harry," said Simon, "Louis's perfectly safe."

"But where is he?" Harry pressed, not sure whether he could truly believe it until he saw it.

"He's gone on, how should I put it… a holiday?" said Simon.

"A _holiday_?" Liam sounded sceptical.

"Okay, so maybe not a holiday," Simon conceded, "he's actually gone to spend sometime at a special clinic to regain his strength."

"He never told us about that," Harry replied, not feeling an iota of reassured, even though Simon was acting completely calm.

"Well he didn't know he was going until about forty-five minutes ago," Simon replied, sounding amused with himself, "but don't worry he'll be back in two and a half months."

**Two and a half months later…**

Louis grinned, his step bouncing a little, as he rounded the corridor into the arrival lounge. He was home; finally back in England and he could _not wait_ to see the lads! He couldn't wait to see _Harry_, because the first thing he was going to do was make good on that promised kiss. No more interruptions, no more delays, no more excuses. Enough was enough. He was no longer afraid of what they were and what they could become. Harry still wanted him that much had been evident when he'd tried to kiss him in the hospital, and Louis wanted Harry - by god he really wanted him! He now saw his excuses for what they truly were; _cowardice_ and only hoped Harry could forgive him for it.

He pulled his hat down low on his head, hoping nobody would recognise him - as he had no bodyguards to protect him from fans today and set about looking for the exit.

Stopping for a moment in the lounge, to get his bearings, his eyes caught something that made his blood run cold. Dropping his small rucksack to the floor he hurried over to the businessman seated casually on the bench.

"Excuse me," Louis said urgently, tapping the man on the arm, "but could I possibly see your paper for a moment… please?"

The man looked up at him, his expression annoyed but then his eyes widened as he recognised Louis. "You're… one of them," he gasped, automatically holding out the paper and looking genuinely sympathetic. Louis didn't answer him but hurriedly flipped the paper over so he could see the front page and clapped a hand over his mouth in horror.

Hands trembling, he flicked through the pages looking for one particular piece of information. The only piece of information mattering at that moment; he found it on page 6. Shakily, he thrust the paper back into the man's hand with a muttered thanks, retreated back for his rucksack and then sprinted for the underground as fast as he could.

It felt like the longest journey he had ever taken – including his flight from LA back home. He had to take the tube to Leicester square, swap to the Northern Line to get to Euston, which took over an hour. From Euston it was a straightforward hour and a half train journey to Birmingham New Street. Then from Birmingham New Street it was a speedy 7 minute train ride to the University Station. He kept his hat pulled low and his shades close to his eyes. As his rucksack only had one change of clothes and some toiletries he really didn't have anything to disguise himself properly with. The last thing he wanted was fans asking him questions he didn't know the answer to. Or worse; telling him something he wasn't prepared to hear – certainly not from a stranger. Stopping to buy something better to disguise himself was not an option either. He had to get to the hospital right away. He didn't want to regret anything by being a few minutes later than he had to be.

The fact that he was in public helped him from doing anything stupid, like crying or screaming. Neither of those would do him any good because he had no idea how badly his friends were hurt. Throughout the whole journey, he forced himself to think about their songs instead of the state of his band-mates, reciting most of their last three albums in his head – anything to stop himself losing control of himself. It was with shaky fingers that he pressed the button to open the train doors and stepped down onto the sunny University platform. As soon as he had a clear path, he sprinted for the hospital, cutting across the University Campus. He was going to be eternally grateful for the intense fitness programme the clinic put him through. It took him only five minutes to reach the main entrance and skid to a halt, without being the slightest out of breath. The whole front area was swarming with reporters with cameras. _Shit_. But then, suddenly, he didn't care. His friends were in there, hurt, _nobody_ was going to stop him reaching them - _nobody_.

Making sure his hat was wedged down tightly, he gritted his teeth and sprinted for the door, dodging around people and shoving until he stumbled through the entrance. He didn't wait around for anyone to recognise him and hurried forwards to the reception desk.

"Hello, how may I help you?" The woman behind the desk asked politely. She was a pretty woman of Chinese descent, with long dark silky hair and large brown eyes. Zayn would totally love her, he thought fleetingly.

"Hi," he said quickly, his heart starting to pound again in fear, "some of my friends were admitted here last night and I was wondering if you could tell me where they are, please? I should be listed as one them's next of kin."

"Which one is that?" The woman asked clicking away at her computer.

"Harry Styles?" The woman's typing stopped and she stared up at him suspiciously, "information on that patient is classified."

"I'm glad to hear that. My name is Louis Tomlinson; I am Harry's band mate and friend. I know for a fact he keeps a card in his wallet that lists me as his next of kin. Here," he dug into his pocket for his own wallet and fished out his driving licence, "proof of who I am."

The woman frowned and held up her finger while reaching for the phone.

"One moment please." She rang a number and had a muted conversation with whoever answered. Her expression was back to being friendly when she hung up. "If you head up to the ICU on level 3 Mr Tomlinson, one of the nurses there will assist you."

The blood drained from Louis's face, "the _ICU?_!" He gasped and then turned, dashing for the stairs, heart in his throat before the woman could reply.

The ICU was exactly how he remembered it, although it was definitely weird being a visitor rather than a patient. His heart was pounding loudly against his ribs as he slipped through the double doors. It was eerily quiet here and he instantly hated it with a vehement passion.

The nurse on the desk was also familiar. Hillary. She smiled at him both pleased and sympathetic. "Louis! It's so nice to see you up and around again. You're looking well and so quickly too!"

"Thanks." He replied, blushing a little.

Her smile softened, "so which one do you want to see first?"

Louis's eyes widened, his chest constricting tightly in alarm, "which one? You mean it's not just Harry in here?"

Hillary frowned and shook her head, "No…" she said slowly, "Louis, what exactly have you been told?"

"Nothing!" he wailed. "I just back from LA today and saw the headline in the paper about the crash."

"Oh good god," Hillary gasped, rounding the station and dragging him to the visitor chairs.

Harry was in Room 319, two doors down from 317. Louis sat in the chair beside the bed unable to form a coherent thought. He felt like crying but he was too upset, he felt like screaming but he had no vocal energy, he felt like hitting something but he had no strength left. He just sat there, staring down at the face he had grown to love so much, covered in cuts and bruises and only vaguely recognisable.

Harry had sustained a major head injury plus a broken leg, three broken ribs and puncture to his thigh in the crash. This, so he had been told, was a result from smashing his head off the window when they collided with the car and his door being crushed inwards when it collided with a signpost. According to Hillary, the door had been completely dented in by the impact and the fire crews had had to cut Harry out. The head injury had been their biggest concern as it had caused bleeding in Harry's brain. They'd had to give him an emergency operation on arrival to relieve the pressure. At the moment, they couldn't assess whether there might be any long term damage. They'd have to wait until Harry woke up to find out. The broken leg was in a bright green cast and the other leg had supposedly been stitched up and bandaged. Louis couldn't see the bandage, though, as the covers hid it from view. He could see the head bandage however. Harry had lost some of his precious curls from the surgery but they'd grow back in time. Some of the fans would still be devastated. But Louis didn't care. Louis didn't care if Harry went bald for the rest of his life so long as he was alive.

He reached down and gently smoothed away some of the curls lying against Harry's cheek. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I was a coward… I was a coward for not being brave enough to trust you. I should have.

I know, back then, I said that we couldn't do anything in case we hurt the band and our friendship – that if we never started then it would be easier to walk away. I lied about that. I lied about a lot of things when it came to you. I've never had someone like you in my life before, Harry. I've never had someone look up to me and love me and understand me and need me and protect me and encourage me to be myself even when _I_ don't even know who I am. No one has ever made me as feel as big and as happy and as thankful and as shy and as excited and as crazy and as impulsive and as scared and as protective and as content - all at the same time. But you do. You confuse me in so many ways; you confuse everything I've ever believed about myself.

Back then, I didn't push you away just for the band's sake or our sake, I pushed you away because I knew that once I let myself fall for you I would never get over it. I was scared what with you being so young and impetuous and impulsive, you would jump into a relationship with me like I was an experiment. I mean, guys like us don't usually find our life partner at the age of 18. You were at the height of your youth with girls and guys practically falling at your feet. I didn't want to hold you back from that, I didn't want to stop you from having fun.

Because… I knew that if we started anything I would want forever and I didn't think you were ready for that. So I'm sorry I didn't trust you when you said you wanted me.

But if I'm truly honest, that wasn't the only reason. Harry… I… I was scared to be gay. Not so much as being labelled in the public eye but more as in being gay itself. Some of the things I read that guys do to each other… well I didn't think I could do them and I was worried that you might be disappointed that I couldn't… I knew if you asked then I would do it and that scared me even more, because I didn't want to be stuck in a relationship where the moments I should cherish I dreaded instead. I didn't want that kind of relationship with you. Most of all, I didn't want you to hold back – to be constantly restricted by my stupid fears… Despite all that, I've regretted pushing you away every since the morning after that almost last kiss in the garden. If you had made a move these past four years I wouldn't have stopped you. It used up all my strength to say _no_ that one time. I couldn't have said no again." He scrubbed a shaky hand down his face, "There you go, that's the most honest I have ever been in my life. _So what's changed_ you're probably wondering? Well for starters I finally realised you were serious about me…" he chuckled lowly, "Joe's been slapping me about the face with that one for years. I didn't dare believe him until you tried to kiss me again in Room 317. I wasn't lying two months ago either, when I said 'later' – I truly meant it. Though I actually said it more because I needed time to prepare myself than because I wanted to be well enough to enjoy it fully. I regretted stopping you the moment I got onto the plane to LA.

While I was at the clinic, I also realised that as scared as I am at the thought of being with a guy, you're probably just as, if not _more_, scared. I had a lot of time to think when I was there – maybe too much time to think. I thought about you a lot – just you, as a person. I realised that you would never think twice at going at my pace – just like I would never think twice at going at yours. I also realised I know you well enough to recognise that you would never hold my insecurities against me, you would never let _yourself_ be disappointed by my limits – you would treasure anything I could give. You're that kind of person – that's one of the reasons I don't just love you… I'm _falling in love_ with you too."

Liam, Louis found out, had drawn none other than Room 317 as his ICU home. It was beyond weird being this side of the door and Louis did not like it one little bit. Liam, he knew, was in a bad way, probably ten times worse than Harry was. He had to take a deep, steadying breath before opening the door, dreading what he was going to see.

The room was almost exactly the same as he'd left it two a half months ago. Only, that it wasn't him hooked up to all those machines, it was… _Liam_. Louis had to clap a hand over his mouth to stop himself letting out a loud cry. His friend barely looked recognisable under all the bandages and tubing. He barely looked _alive_. Liam… with his ridiculous floppy hair and intelligent brown eyes and amazing voice…

A figure was already sitting on the visitor chair, huddled over the bed. _Niall_. The Irish lad had looked up at the sound of the door opening, gazing up at Louis with an expression of confusion and disbelief.

"Louis?" he croaked. The devastation was clearly etched into his face – he looked completely shattered. Louis chest hurt so much he could barely breathe.

"Hi Niall," he managed, knowing it sounded like he was choking.

"You're…" Niall blinked, slowly standing up, "back?" He looked like he couldn't believe it - like he thought he was hallucinating.

Louis nodded and swallowed thickly. Then Niall was suddenly running towards him and Louis held out his arms, pulling his best friend into a bone-crunching hug. Niall just crumpled, like he'd been holding back his emotions for too long, trying to be strong, and now the dam had finally cracked. Louis found he could barely hold back his own tears – trying to be strong for his best friend, for all his best friends as he held his friend through his breakdown.

"It's okay," he murmured, clutching Niall tighter as the younger guy shuddered into his shoulder, "it'll be okay. I promise." He loved Liam like a brother… he truly did… but he knew that as much pain as it gave him to see his friend so ill, it had to be a thousand times worse for Niall, Liam's boyfriend.

They stood like that, clutching each other, for a good 5-10 minutes until Niall's sobs started to subside and he started to pull back. Louis didn't let him go far. "I've missed you," Niall sniffed, trying to smile as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve, "I've missed you so fucking much."

Louis felt his eyes well up again and he pulled Niall into another hug before they could spill over, "I missed you too buddy. But I'm home now."

Niall nodded and took a step back, surveying him with red raw eyes, "You look _amazing_," he croaked.

Louis blushed, "Nothing a little bit of sun and an evil physiotherapist can't cure," he joked. Niall gave him another watery smile and led him over to the bed.

For half an hour, they sat there, each holding one of Liam's hands and trying not to be the first one to cry again. Niall explained what had happened, how he and Zayn had been travelling in the car behind. It had happened so quickly, he said, their driver, Jack, had randomly commented, "Check out this arsehole speeding up towards us. Let's hope there's a police patrol ahead. Serve him right." Both he and Zayn had looked back through the rear window and seen the headlights of a car roaring up the fast lane in the distance – probably doing about a hundred. The car was swerving a little, like the driver was finding it difficult to keep the car steady at such a high speed.

"God," Niall had shook his head, "he could cause a serious accident driving like that, what a tosser." He had then turned back around and returned to scrolling through his messages. The roar of the car's engine had gotten louder and louder as it caught up to them. Then it was passing them, rocking from side to side. Niall had looked out his window just in time to see the car swerve onto the catseyes next to the central crash barrier. The driver over-compensated, swerving out again, and the high speed made the car's back wheels spin to the right.

"Holy crap!" Their driver had cried at the same time, slamming on the brakes and veering into the hard shoulder. They could only watch in absolute horror as the car slammed into Liam and Harry's with a gutting crunch of metal on metal, sending the hire vehicle careening into the hard shoulder. The speeding car had spun out and flipped over after the impact. The noise of shattering glass and scraping metal seemed to go on forever. Meanwhile, Harry and Liam's car smashed into a signpost for services and spun out across the motorway again - debris flying everywhere.

The emergency services had arrived within minutes. Amazingly, the driver of the speeding car was mostly unhurt but Harry and Liam had to be cut out of the debris by the fire service. Niall and Zayn could only stand up on the embankment, surrounded by Jack's protective embrace and watch on, terrified – not knowing whether their friends were alive or dead. The driver of the hired vehicle, Tom, had died at the scene. It was only afterwards, when they were at the hospital that they learned the speeding driver had been four times over the legal limit.

Now Harry and Liam were lying in the critical care unit; Harry with a major head injury, a broken leg, three broken ribs and puncture to his thigh, Liam with only a 20% chance of making it through to tomorrow morning.

"You know," Niall said suddenly. He looked so lost and shattered that Louis ached to hug him again. Niall evidently wanted to speak though and Louis knew he had to let him before making a move to offer reassurance. "This Friday is our three year anniversary." He gestured between Liam and himself. "We were going to go to Marco Pierre's for dinner. I booked the table nine months ago."

Louis bit his lip, feeling himself welling up at the thought that Niall might spend that special day alone. He wouldn't be alone, though, Louis would make sure of that - whatever it took.

"Can I let you into a little secret," Niall added a moment later, sounding distant and reflective. His eyes were a little glazed, as though lost in his thoughts. Louis nodded and was startled when Niall suddenly broke into a smile, "I was going to propose at the restaurant." Louis clapped a hand over his mouth; unsure whether he wanted to shout in glee or cry in despair that his friends might not get to share that wonderful moment.

"And now…" Niall's smile disappeared and he started to cry again, "I'm not worrying about whether he would say yes or no. I'm worrying whether he'll live until tomorrow morning."

Louis jumped off his chair and rounded the bed, pulling Niall into a fierce hug.

Zayn appeared twenty minutes later looking absolutely exhausted. He'd been at the local West Midlands police station writing a statement and answering a few more questions that the police had about what he saw. He paused in the doorway, blinking stupidly at Louis for a few moments and then rushed towards him. "_Louis_!"

Louis grinned, jumping to his feet and met his friend in a ridiculously massive hug. "You're back!" Zayn cried, running his hands all over Louis's face, "You finally back! I've missed you! I've missed you so much." Then he pulled Louis back into a hug.

After a minute though, he pulled back and composed himself, "Vas' happening Tomlinson?" he greeted, trying to sound cool again. Then his eyes widened, "Jeez-o look at that tan, my man! And your hair! Did you dye it?"

Louis shook his head, "Nah, it just got lightened in the sun."

"Where did you go? The Bahamas? Simon wouldn't tell us – probably in case Harry went AWOL to go and visit you or something. He's been moping ever since you disappeared on us. Even Aiden couldn't cheer him up!"  
Louis smiled, pleased that Harry seemed to have missed him as much as Louis had missed Harry. "They had a rule that I couldn't have any outside communication while I was there. I missed you guys so much but… honestly? It was good to be able to concentrate on just the one thing for a change. I'll tell you all about it once everyone is on the mend."

**Wednesday 10:04 pm Room 319**

It was Wednesday night when Harry decided to finally wake-up. Louis had been sitting in a chair leafing through a Nuts Magazine with Zayn and Niall when a small groan had disturbed the peace. They had all looked up and grinned to see Harry's eyes fluttering. Louis had got to his feet immediately and handed the magazine to Zayn, moving to lean over the bed so that Harry would be able to see him. Slowly, Harry's eyes opened and Louis grinned down at him, "about time you woke up lazy bones."

Harry's eyes closed again as he let out another little moan. Louis leaned down and gently stroked his friend's cheek, "does it hurt a lot?"

Harry made a small whining noise, which sounded like as clear a yes as actually saying it.

Zayn went out the room to fetch the nurse and returned with Lorraine hurrying in behind him. She set about altering the settings on the drip – increasing the dosage of whatever painkiller they were giving him. Then she disappeared for a few minutes, returning with some instruments to check his blood pressure and what not. The lads stayed back to let her work. Eventually she stepped away and smiled, "I'll inform the on-duty doctor that you're awake, Mr Styles." She looked to the other three, giving them a stern waggle of her finger, "Don't overexcite him," she warned. Once she'd left the room, Harry weakly pulled the oxygen mask away from his face. Louis's eyes blurred as he moved closer again, staring into those green depths. Harry stared back up at him, his eyes a little unfocused, "Wow…" he croaked.

"I know," Louis nodded, "You've got yourself into a right state, buddy. I can't leave you alone for ten minutes can I?"

"No…" Harry closed his eyes for a second and then opened them again, gaze still unfocused, "you… look… fucking… _gorgeous_… I'm dead… aren't I… and you're… an… angel…?"

Zayn and Niall snorted behind them and Louis chuckled, blushing but kind of pleased though too, "No, I'm not an angel, Harry, nor are you dead. I think those drugs are messing with your head, buddy."

"The freezing grave… powders the public," Harry murmured and all three of the lads snorted this time. Harry was definitely high.

"Harry," Louis said sweetly, running his fingers carefully through the curls poking out from under the bandage, "I think you should go back to sleep."

"Mmmhmm," Harry's eyes fluttered shut, "The sheep… dancing with the horse… it's a party." He mumbled and fell back to asleep again.

Louis looked back over his shoulder at Zayn, smirking, "did you get that?"

Zayn grinned and lowered his phone, "Crystal clear. Just don't tell the nurse that my phone was on in here. I'll go outside and tweet it."

The next morning Zayn and Louis returned to the hospital at eight, having spent the night at a local hotel. Niall had stayed with Liam who was defying the doctors' odds by not only staying alive but also improving.

They stopped off at Harry's room first. Harry had still been asleep when Louis and Zayn had left the previous night so Louis hoped that he was awake now.

Hillary came stomping out of the room as they approached.

"What's up?" Louis asked in surprise.

"Oh, he's being ridiculous," she sighed. "See you can get him to eat something will you?"

Louis reached for the door and then paused, looking back at Zayn, "Could you maybe give us five minutes, please?"

Zayn smiled and nodded, gesturing him to go ahead. Louis took a deep breath and opened the door.

"I'm not hun… … … … _Louis_?" Harry gasped, his eyes going wide. He was sitting up in bed, a bed table with a food tray pushed to the side of him.

"Hi," said Louis, closing the door behind him and making his way over to the bed. Harry looked totally gob-smacked but none-the-less ecstatic to see him, "You're really back? I thought I had dreamed…"

"No," Louis shook his head and smiled softly, "you weren't dreaming. I'm back… _surprise_."

Harry gazed at him, looking lost for words. Louis shifted, a little uncomfortably at the attention. "What?" He asked.

Harry licked his lips and reached out to touch his hair, "You look _amazing_," then his bottom lip wobbled, "God, I _missed_ you," his voice breaking on the 'missed'.

Louis perched on edge of the bed, careful not to jostle his friend – the guy had a broken leg and three broken ribs after all. "I missed you too," he said quietly, eyes welling up, "very much… I was… so _scared_ when I saw the picture in the paper. I thought I'd lost you."

Harry reached up with his good side and pulled Louis closer so that their temples were pressed together and they were breathing into each other's shoulders. Louis closed his eyes, treasuring the scent of Harry's skin, so achingly familiar, like spiced cookies. God he had missed him _so_ much. So goddamned much.

"Where have you _been_?" Harry murmured into his neck, "I was so worried that something would happen to you and I'd never even got the chance to say goodbye."

"Oh Harry," Louis croaked, his chest aching again, "please tell me you haven't been worrying yourself over that? I'm fine. In fact, I'm better than fine, I'm in the best shape I've probably ever been. You on the other hand…" He pulled back and pressed a soft kiss to Harry's stubbled cheek. Harry's breath hitched and Louis remembered his promised. He pulled back even further and looked Harry in the eyes, his stomach doing all sorts of flips and somersaults. Well, this was the moment of truth. Could he do it? Was he brave enough to put his thoughts into action? After all, this was the thing he'd been looking forward to for 4 years - the moment he'd denied Harry for too long. Slowly he started to lean in but, then, to his astonishment, Harry's index finger came up and pressed against his lips, stopping him before he'd even got close. It looked like it had cost Harry every ounce of will to do it though.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," he murmured, "but… hold that thought please - just until I'm in less pain and able to enjoy it… without throwing up on you."

Instead of letting himself feel disappointed, Louis chuckled at the familiar words, spoken no less sincerely, and took Harry's hand in his, "Yeah, I guess I deserve that." He leant forward and pressed another kiss to Harry's cheek, "Okay, I'll hold you to that promise of _later_."

Liam woke up on the Friday at 12:34 pm precisely. All four of them were around his bed playing cards. Harry had been moved to a general ward but wasn't going to be discharged until Monday. However, he had sweet talked the nurses into letting him visit Liam for a few hours, well maybe sweet talked wasn't quite accurate – more like played the at their consciences in the way Harry Styles did best.

Liam didn't say anything but he did open his eyes, staring at Niall for about ten seconds. Then he fell back asleep. Niall couldn't stop crying with relief for the rest of the afternoon - citing it was "the best fucking anniversary present Liam could have given me."

Niall, Zayn and Louis didn't get to spend much time at the hospital after that. Come Monday morning they were obliged to fulfil other duties. Simon was sorry but he had given them as much time as he could. Not only did they have band obligations, such as a three-week long signing tour, photo-shoots, interviews and gigs, but the speeding driver had been charged with 1 account of manslaughter, two accounts of gross bodily harm, driving under the influence and a whole host of other driving related offences. Niall and Zayn, in particular, were needed by lawyers. Also, because One Direction were involved, it was all the media could talk about. When the three of them were about to leave on the book tour, a week later, Harry promised Niall that he would look after Liam for him. He couldn't sing with three broken ribs, nor could he walk around much with the broken leg so he had opted to remain in Birmingham. Simon had okayed this. All the three could do was call the hospital whenever they could – Niall, in particular often spent half the night on the phone to Liam. Louis wasn't much better with Harry either, using up all his free calls and texts within the first two weeks.

It was during the third week, the three lads being in Newcastle at the time, working their way northward, Louis was awoken at 1:38 am by his mobile buzzing against the night table. Sleepily, he groped for it and saw the caller id was Harry. He hit the accept button and whispered, "Harry?"

"Hi Louis," Harry replied quietly, sounding edgy, "are you alone?"

Louis glanced across at the other bed where Zayn was sleeping and slipped out of his own, "hang on," he said. He grabbed the nearest jumper, a door pass and his shoes and crept quietly out of the room, heading down the hallway to the coffee lounge. It was thankfully deserted.

"Hi," he said, slumping down into one of the seats, "is something wrong?"

"No…" Harry replied slowly, following it with a sigh, "I just… I wanted to talk to you."

"At half past one in the morning?" Louis teased as he slipped the door pass into his pocket for safe keeping.

"Yeah, um… sorry," Louis could hear the wince in Harry's voice, "Maybe I should just have waited till the morning."

"It's okay," Louis replied softly, "I don't mind. What did you want to talk about?"

There was a moment of silence before Harry let out a huff of breath, "Okay, this might sound a little weird but it's been bothering me for weeks… you know when I woke up?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Did… what did you say to me? I know I was pretty out of it – I saw the Twitter video Zayn so kindly made… but afterwards… did you say anything else to me?"

"No," Louis replied slowly, thinking hard about what Harry could be referring to, "you slept for the rest of the night, Zayn and I went to a hotel."

"Oh, well never mind. I just thought… it doesn't matter," Harry sighed again.

Louis sat up, pressing the phone to his ear, suspicious, "What _did_ you think Harry? What did you think I said to you?"

There was another few moments of silence from Harry, like he was weighing his words, then he replied, "I… I thought you said something about why you… pushed me away… but… I don't know, maybe I was just dreaming or something."

Louis's heart leapt up into his throat, so Harry _had_ heard him. "You didn't dream it," he croaked.

"What?" Harry sounded genuinely shocked.

"I talked about it while you were unconscious," Louis admitted.

"Why?" Harry asked quietly, sounding baffled, "I mean, why did you talk to me about it when I was _unconscious_."

"I don't know…" Louis replied, biting his lip nervously, "I think… I found it easier."

"Louis…" Harry breathed, "you _know_ you can tell me anything."

"I know…" said Louis, closing his eyes, "but it's still hard to put your heart on the line."

"Tell me again."

Louis's eyes flew open, "_What_?"

"Tell me again," Harry repeated, his voice beseeching, "what you said to me in the hospital. Please?"

"I…" Louis's heart was going a mile a minute.

"Please?" Harry pleaded again.

"Okay," Louis sighed, he knew the speech almost by heart anyway - he'd practiced it enough at the clinic. This stuff had to be said at some point, in might as well be now over the phone, when he couldn't see Harry's expression. "Um… I started off by saying I was sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Harry asked softly.

Louis closed his eyes, "for being a coward… for not being brave enough to trust you when you said you were serious. I should have done; I trust you will my life Harry so I should have trusted you with my heart too." There was muffled sound against the speaker, like Harry was shifting around to get comfortable. Louis swallowed thickly, "Remember, back then, I said that we couldn't do anything in case we hurt the band or our friendship – that if we never started then it would be easier to walk away? I was lying… Sure, yeah it was partly to do with those things but… it was more than that." Louis swallowed loudly again, "Harry… do you know how amazing you are? You're so funny and handsome and smart and wild. I've never had someone in my life like you before. I've never had someone look up to me the way you do. I've never had someone need me like the way you seem to and protect me equally in return. You understand and love me for who I am, not what I am, and encourage me to be myself, even if that means I come across as a crazy person." He chuckled at himself, "You make me feel so many things Harry and it sometimes confuses me and scares me. Yeah, you _confuse_ me; you make me confused about everything I've ever believed about myself. When I'm in your company I feel so excited… and shy… and thankful… and impulsive… and protective… and content and the list goes on. I'm sure I feel every emotion possible around you somehow. Like… _scared_." He heard Harry's small intake of breath through the speaker and swallowed thickly again, "Harry… I didn't push you away just for the band's sake or for our sake, I pushed you away because I knew that once I let myself fall for you I would never get over it." There, he had said it and god that was such a relief. But now he had to explain himself – hopefully before Harry said anything, "I was scared that because you were so young and had a tendency to be impulsive, you would jump into a relationship with me like I was an… _experiment_. You were eighteen; people don't usually find their life partners at eighteen. Plus you had girls and guys practically falling at your feet. I didn't want to hold you back from having fun. Because… I knew that if we started anything I would want forever and I didn't think you were ready for that." He took a shuddering breath, terrified out his wits but on a roll now, "But that wasn't the only reason I pushed you away. I… I…" Louis suddenly struggled to find the nerve to say the rest,

"You what, Louis?" Harry asked softly.

"I..." Louis screwed up his face and said, quickly, "I was scared to be gay." He let out his breath, "I was scared to be gay," he repeated again, quietly, "I mean I was scared about being gay itself – not how people would react. Some of the things gay guys do to each other… well I didn't think I could do them and I was scared you might be disappointed that I couldn't. I knew… if you had asked me to do it then I would have gone through with it, just to please you and that scared me even more. I didn't want to be in a relationship where I dreaded the moments I should take pleasure in. I didn't want that kind of relationship with _you_. The worse thing is, despite all that, I've regretted pushing you away ever since you left the garden that day. If you had made a move, these past four years, I wouldn't have stopped you. It took all my strength to say _no_ that one time. I couldn't have said no again." He scrubbed a shaky hand down his face.

"So what's changed?" Harry whispered and Louis chuckled lowly,

"I knew that's what you would ask at this point. Well… I guess… for starters I finally realised you were serious about me… I didn't believe the signs until you tried to kiss me again. I also realised that as scared as I am at the thought of being with a guy, you're probably just as, if not _more_, scared. It's something we can work out together.

I had a lot of time to think when I was at the clinic, mostly about you – _just you_, as a person. I've realised you would never think twice about going at my pace – just like I would never think twice at going at yours. I also realised I know you well enough to know you would never let _yourself_ be disappointed by my limits – you would treasure anything I could give. You're that kind of person – that's one of the reasons…"

"Yes?" Harry whispered, like he was holding his breath for something.

Louis swallowed hard, "that's one of the reasons… I don't just love you… I'm _falling in love_ with you too."

"Louis," Harry let out a shaky breath, "Come home… _please_."

Of course, fate plotted against them once again and Louis was no more able to go home as Harry was able to drive himself the 300 miles to Newcastle with one maimed leg and one broken leg. Louis, Niall and Zayn were leaving for Scotland at 9 am that morning so it wasn't physically possible for Louis to get down to London and back again either. He let Harry down as gently as he could, promising, "The moment we're finished this bloody signing tour, I'll be straight home – nothing will stop me. Even if I have to kill Simon first."

It was an empty threat _and_ a broken promise. As though Simon had been listening to their plans and disapproved, he arranged for the three lads to fly to America for another set of interviews and fan-events as soon as the signing tour was over. _Literally_ as soon as the tour was over – like _two hours_. Louis would have kicked up a fuss if he hadn't been too busy trying to calm Niall down. Niall was raging that it would be at least another two weeks until he got to see his boyfriend – who had been released from hospital in their absence - into the care of his mother and Harry. Both Liam's mum and Harry's mum were staying at the band's house in Bexley, looking after their sons. Even if Harry was able to walk he still wouldn't break his promise to Niall about looking after Liam. Until Liam was up and around, Harry wouldn't be leaving his side – not even to see Louis, as tempting as it was.

Of course, they all kept in touch regularly. Louis and Harry texted each other numerous times a day - including when Louis was in the middle of answering a fan's question during a panel. He'd blushed as his phone beeped, amplified by the microphone, and apologised, quickly scanning the text he'd received. He grinned at its contents and gazed out into the excited sea of faces, "That was Harry," he announced, "just saying he's getting his cast off next week."

The whole crowd had cheered and flooded Harry's twitter with congratulation messages.

Harry and Liam followed much of their friend's escapades in America via Twitter and Youtube. Harry had gone so far as to join a One Direction fan website just so that he could get the links the moment they appeared. Fans were such enablers! He thought he might just drop them a photographic present as thank you later on – when Louis returned.

In the meantime, to thank those fans of the website, who were made up of many slashers, Harry and Louis started to flirt with each other over Twitter too. The fans went wild over it, rejoicing in the fact that Larry Stylinson was back to full strength again after a four year lull. Louis was tempted to point out that it wasn't Larry Stylinson anymore, because Larry was a bromance and Harry and himself were past that stage now. It was the real thing baby and he couldn't help himself from tweeting after #Larrystylinsonisback trended at No. 1 worldwide,

**Louis_Tomlinson** Louis Tomlinson

Bye bye Larry Stylinson and hello Harris Toyles!

10 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

A few minutes later he got a message from Twitter and grinned as he read,

**Harry_Styles** Harry Styles

Louis_Tomlinson You changed our name without telling me! :(

1 minute ago via Twitter for iPhone

He typed back,

**Louis_Tomlinson** Louis Tomlinson

Harry_Styles Don't be mad baby. Larry needed to move on. We've got Harris now :D x

15 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Harry_Styles** Harry Styles

Louis_Tomlinson Like I could stay mad at you xx

2 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone

#HarrisToyles was trending in the UK within the hour. Louis and Harry didn't stop there either.

**Louis_Tomlinson** Louis Tomlinson

Harry_Styles I miss you :( There's no other way to say it, and I can't deny it  
I miss you, it's so easy to see, I miss you and me…

20 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Harry_Styles** Harry Styles

Louis_Tomlinson I miss you too! xx Even if you are quoting Boyz II Men lyrics at me!

3 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Louis_Tomlinson** Louis Tomlinson

Harry_Styles and I will still love you for knowing they were Boyz II Men lyrics! xx Oh and I have a present for you from New York!

1 minute ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Harry_Styles** Harry Styles

Louis_Tomlinson Yes! What is it? And when are you coming home!

1 minute ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Louis_Tomlinson** Louis Tomlinson

Harry_Styles It's a surprise, you'll have to be a good boy and wait and see. Don't know when we're coming back, Simon hasn't said yet :(

15 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Harry_Styles** Harry Styles

Louis_Tomlinson A good boy? Wouldn't you prefer me to be a baaaaaad boy instead ;)

2 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Louis_Tomlinson** Louis Tomlinson

Harry_Styles I'm listening ;) keep talking baby…

25 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Real_Liam_Payne** Liam Payne

Harry_Styles Louis_Tomlinson Stop flirting with each other :)

1 minute ago

**Louis_Tomlinson** Louis Tomlinson

Real_Liam_Payne You spoil all our fun :P Everyone retweet this if you love Harris Toyles!

30 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Louis_Tomlinson** Louis Tomlinson ˾̚ by Harry Styles

Real_Liam_Payne You spoil all our fun :P Everyone retweet this if you love Harris Toyles!

10 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone

Retweeted by 12,974 people

**Harry_Styles** Harry Styles

Real_Liam_Payne Haha, you're just jealous! I LOVE you Louis_Tomlinson!

3 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Louis_Tomlinson** Louis Tomlinson

Harry_Styles I LOVE YOU MORE! xx

40 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

**NiallOfficial** Niall Horan

Louis_Tomlinson Will you stop tweeting Harry and get your backside downstairs! We need to go! :P

10 seconds ago

**4 days later…**

Harry limped into the living room with Liam's laptop under his arm. Liam was sprawled on the settee, as he had been for the past month, flicking through the TV in a 'so bored please kill me now' manner. He looked up as Harry entered and frowned when he saw Harry limping, "_Harry_, where are your crutches? You're never going to heal properly if you don't keep your weight off that leg."

Harry rolled his eyes as he grabbed the little foot rest, dragging it over to the couch. "Have you tried navigating the stairs with crutches? I'm more likely to break my leg again and I don't think Louis would ever forgive you."

Liam smirked, settling back against his cushions, "_Louis_ huh? You two seem to very close at the moment, anything you want to share?"

Harry's eyes narrowed even as a blush crept up onto his cheeks, "_No_."

Liam just laughed and lifted his arm so that Harry could perch the laptop between them. "I take it the interview just came online then?"

"One of the fans just tweeted she was just uploading it to Youtube." He loaded up the screen and checked the link again and found that the video was indeed uploaded.

"Am I ridiculous for being crazily excited about seeing them?" Liam asked Harry quietly, shifting so he could see the screen easier.

"No," Harry replied back, getting comfortable on the foot rest and sighing in relief at taking the weight off his legs. He couldn't wait to see his friends. His heart was beating so fast. It was mostly Louis, he couldn't wait to see Louis's face again – in better quality that Skype anyway. He pressed play and settled back, feeling a grin bloom on his face as Piers Morgan introduced his next guests.

"…Zayn Malik, Niall Horan and Louis Tomlinson from One Direction!" The audience went wild and _oh god, oh god_, there was Louis and he looked… Harry felt something tighten low in his stomach and he put a hand to his lap, squeezing his thigh to keep himself in check. Louis was wearing a cream linen shirt with the top three buttons undone and he looked freaking hot as hell. Harry might have whined a little bit in the back of his throat as the camera panned up close to Louis's face. It was so unfair that Louis was 5,500 kilometres away.

"You're drooling a little there, Harry," chuckled Liam and Harry blushed, looking away,

"I am not!" he protested, trying to sound offended. He heard the sound go off on the video as Liam paused it.

"It's okay," Liam said softly, touching Harry's arm. "I can tell you like him. There's nothing wrong with that. You don't have to pretend – at least not to me."

"_What_? Of course I like him - as a _friend_ Liam!" Harry shot back. His heart was beating so fast now, he had never even thought about the others knowing about Louis and him. For some reason the thought of Liam knowing made Harry very nervous and more than just a little embarrassed.

"Oh come on Harry," said Liam, rolling his eyes, "I know you've fancied him for five years."

"_What_?" Harry choked, staring open-mouthed at his older band-mate.

Liam shrugged stiffly, "Don't bother denying it. I can even tell you the moment you realised. It was the night you and Louis had that mini-argument over you coddling him."

Harry froze. _Oh shit_, he thought, Liam really _did_ know. But… but… "How…?" he croaked, his chest thumping a mile a minute.

Liam just smiled softly, "Harry," he soothed, "I saw it coming months before even that. In fact, it was during week 10 on the X Factor that I voiced my suspicions to Simon."

"_What_? Simon knows!" Harry felt the blood drain from his face as fear and mortification leaded his stomach. Simon would _kill_ them – he'd had enough trouble dealing with Liam and Niall.

"Harry," said Liam seriously, sitting up a little straighter, "Simon knows a hell of a lot more than we all want him to and he probably knows things that we don't even know about ourselves. If you really want to know why I told him… _he_ thought Louis would turn out gay and that he would influence you but I said I thought it was the other way around."

Harry couldn't help but huff out a laugh, "you were both wrong," he said without thinking. Then, as it dawned on him what he had just admitted, he hid his face in his hands, blushing hotly.

Liam couldn't help but find amusement in it – glad that Harry had finally confirmed that he had been right with his suspicions all those years ago. "Harry," he said, leaning sideways towards his friend, "I know it's none of my business but you _can_ talk to _me_ if you want. I know all about liking band-mates after all."

Harry lowered his hands to rest against his hot cheeks and nodded, smiling a little through his embarrassment, "I guess you do."

Liam licked his lips and pondered for a moment over whether he should ask the question he'd been wondering for years. "Harry… can I ask you something?" He waited until Harry nodded warily, "You can tell me to get lost if you want but… I admit I am curious."

Harry sighed, "Just ask Liam."

Liam pursed his lips before saying, "what happened between you both to cause a wedge in your friendship for so many years? I have my suspicions but... well, I never knew for sure."

"What do _you_ think happened?" Harry asked quietly, looking away - remembering the moment from almost five years ago like it was yesterday.

"I think…" Liam let out a long breath, "I _think_ you told Louis you had feelings for him on his 21st and he turned you down - for what reason I have no idea because I was certain he liked you back."

"He did…" said Harry quietly, and then smiled, stupidly wide, "he still does."

"So why did he turn you down?" Liam asked, holding his breath, pleased and touched by how much Harry was suddenly willing to share with him. They'd never been the closest out the band – not for sharing things like this.

Harry shrugged, "He was scared I wasn't serious about him – that we were too young at the time."

"_What_?" Liam pulled a face and Harry scrunched up his nose in agreement.

"Yeah I know," he nodded, "but to be fair, he did have a point. We were a little too young, at the time, to come away with a serious lasting relationship."

Liam didn't miss the tense at all, his eyes growing wide "_Were_," he checked, a hopeful smile growing on his face, "you mean you two are together _now_?"

"Well…" Harry hesitated, "that depends on whether you consider us together when we haven't even kissed yet. Oh, don't look so shocked," Harry told him, shaking his head ruefully, "_you're_ one of the reasons we've never got around to it."

"_Me_?" Liam blanched, "what on earth have I got to do with it?"

"You and Niall and Zayn and our mums – always interrupting us when we were about to."

Liam's mouth fell open, "_when_ did I interrupt you?"

Harry wrinkled his nose, "Remember about four ears ago, right before Louis's 21st we had that concert at the O2 Arena?"

Liam's forehead scrunched up as he thought back, "was that the night it snowed and it seemed to take forever to get back home?"

"Yeah," Harry nodded, "when we got back to the house I went to get the bags out of the boot. Louis came around to give me back my hat I left in the car. We had… a _moment_… and just when we were about to… you know… you had to ruin it by shouting out Louis had a message on the answer machine."

Liam winced, "Ah, man, I'm sorry, I didn't know," then he frowned again, "hey! It wasn't you who put my underpants on Ebay was it?"

Harry grinned and nodded, "I felt you deserved it."

Liam hit his friend hard on the shoulder, "Arse!"

Chuckling, Harry leaned away and rubbed the throbbing spot. "Niall was probably the worst though. He did it no less than twice."

Liam laughed, "that's my boyfriend, he can be so wonderfully clueless at times. So when did you two decide to get together then? Was it recently? Is that what all the flirting is about on Twitter?"

Harry pulled a face, "What are we? Girls? Come on Liam, you really want to talk about this?"

"Of course I do!" Liam cried before giggling, "I'm pulling out my shiny new gay card. I've had it for three years and I've never really used it. So, tell me all the romantic details!"

"Oh my God…" Harry muttered before reluctantly sitting back, "_fine_. Remember when he was in hospital last and I got concussion?" Liam nodded. "Well I sneaked up to see him later that night and we talked and I… got caught up in the moment and… you know… leant down to kiss him. But he stopped me, I thought he was saying no but he said 'later'."

"And you never got later because he went to the clinic?" Liam guessed and Harry nodded.

"Then there was our accident," said Harry, "the morning after I woke up Louis tried to give me that 'later' kiss but _I_ stopped him."

"Why?" Liam gasped, staring at him incredulously.

Harry shrugged, "I felt like shit, sick and sore, and, call me a girl, but I really want to enjoy our first kiss, you know."

"Was that the first time Louis had initiated it?"

Harry nodded, "I think so – at least the first time I can be sure of."

"And you haven't seen him since?" said Liam.

"No…" Harry sighed, "it's like the world is conspiring against us."

"I take it you've talked about it though?" said Liam, squinting at him.

"Sort of," replied Harry, "I called him when the lads were in Newcastle and we kind of talked then. That's when he admitted he'd been scared and that was why he'd pushed me away back then. We want to be together but actually doing it seems impossible at the moment." He sighed again, "I just… I want to see him Liam. I miss him so much and I just… I want to _see_ him."

Liam smiled and hooked an arm over Harry's shoulder, "You will. I promise. They'll be home soon and I will make sure you two get some time alone. Now," he leaned forward stiffly and pressed the play button, "let's see what our lads had to say to Piers Morgan, shall we?"


	6. Chapter 6

The following evening, the other three lads were enjoying a late night drink at the bar in the New York Hilton they were staying in when Louis's phone vibrated. It was a text from Harry. He frowned and glanced at his watch. It was just gone ten o'clock there. That meant it must be about three o'clock in the morning in Britain. He pressed the message with his finger and waited for it to load.

CAN'T SLEEP. SKYPE ME IF UR FREE

Louis looked up at Zayn and Niall, "I'm heading up to the room," he said, "I might be back down later."

They nodded.

Once his iPad Max was on and running the desktop, he double clicked on the Skype icon. As it loaded up, he saw that Harry was online and available. He shook his head in amusement but was ridiculously pleased Harry seemed so eager to talk to him. He pressed the video call and it only took Harry 2 seconds to answer. He was sitting at his desk, wearing little more than a pair of boxers. The only light was coming from his bedside lamp so his face was in shadow but Louis could see him well enough. He felt an ache of longing in his stomach and suddenly missed his best friend a thousand more times more than he'd had before. Harry looked great; the bruises on his face almost completely gone. You couldn't even tell that some of his curls had been lopped off during the brain surgery. Louis felt another tug in his stomach – a different type of longing though. A much more carnal longing involving kisses and touches.

"Hey Curly," he greeted, smiling.

Harry's face lit up and Louis whined in the back of his throat at the prettiness. This was _so_ unfair. He was 5,500 km away.

"Hey Lou Lou!"

"Lou_is_," Louis corrected with a fond shake of his head, "so how come you can't sleep Hazza? It must be 3 am over there."

Harry sighed, his slightly fuzzy head dropping downwards so his chin rested on his palm, "I don't know…"

Before he knew what he was doing Louis was reaching out to the screen to run his finger down Harry's cheek. He pulled back the second it dawned on him that, yeah, he couldn't actually touch Harry that way and probably looked like a idiot for doing so.

Harry's smile was goofy when he lowered his hand, "Are you trying to touch me?"

"Um… no?" Louis tried to look innocent.

"In which you mean yes?" Harry laughed in delight.

Louis grinned and ducked his head, blushing a little. Harry's laughter was bright and adoring, making Louis feel all warm inside. Jesus, he was twenty-five years old and here was Harry making him feel like he was thirteen with a crush. Harry's laughter slowly drifted away and the curly-hair lad sighed again, staring right into the camera, "I miss you…" he said quietly.

"I miss you too," Louis replied, a little breathlessly, his heart skipping a few beats. For a moment, they just stared through the screens into each other's eyes. Then Harry looked away and stood up. The screen started to wobble and Louis realised Harry was moving his laptop to the bed. "What are you doing?" He asked in amusement.

Harry didn't answer until he'd got into bed and switched the lamp off and sat the laptop on his knee. The light of the screen lit up Harry's face enough for Louis to just about make out all his features, "Tell me a story."

"A _story_?" Louis repeated, not entirely sure he'd heard right.

"Yeah, talk me to sleep," Harry rumbled, settling back on his pillow.

Louis chuckled, "You actually want me to read you a bedtime story?"

"Yes," Harry nodded, smirking a little, "and it better be a good one Tomlinson."

"Well let me just check my bookcase then," said Louis, standing up and pretending to run his fingers along a row of invisible spines. "What genre would you like? Horror? I've got some good horror tales."

"I know," said Harry dryly, "I heard some before. I want to sleep Louis, not stay awake for the next two weeks."

Louis laughed as he remembered how both Harry and Liam had had to sleep with their lights on for several days, after he told them his story about the rapist postman. It wasn't gory horror, no, it was creepy horror, which is often much more scarier. "Well," he said, "if you want something to make you sleep, how about a boring story? Like… the mechanical workings of a litho printer?"

"A _what_?" Harry's eyebrows rose and he pulled a face, "Never mind, don't explain, just tell me something that won't make me _die_ of boredom first."

"Hmm," Louis pretended to search through his invisible bookcase some more, "Oh, how about a Fairytale then? They're not as scary as a horror story and I can do funny voices to keep it interesting! Let's see, I've got the Princess and the Carrot, the Ugly Bieber, Robin Hoody and his merry band One Direction, The Little Maiden or Beauty and the Cowell?

Harry laughed, throwing his head back against his pillow. Louis paused mid gesture and watched, fascinated. He stared at Harry's exposed throat and wondered what kind of noise his friend would make if he was to lick…

"Oh wow," said Harry, breaking Louis out his thoughts, "how do you actually come up with shit like that?"

Louis mock-pouted, crossing his arms over his chest defensively, "Well, if you're just going to make fun of me then I shan't-"

But Harry chuckled, "I'm _joking_ Louis. How about you tell me the story of Robin Hoody and his merry band One Direction? I like the sound of that one."

Louis pretended to consider it for a moment before his mouth widened into a grin, "Okay then!" He grabbed his iPad off the desk and bounced over and onto his own bed, getting comfortable. "Once upon a time in a land far, far, away there was a beautiful country called Simonville." Harry giggled and Louis shushed him fondly. "It was ruled by the great King Matthew who was adored by all his people. He was a fair and gracious King, who gave salvation to the poorest and generous rewards to those who were loyal and true. Unfortunately, as happy as the people of Simonville were, they couldn't help but be affected by the growing war between their neighbouring countries – known as the Conglomerate Empires. This war would later be called the Great Copyright War of the Twenty Third Century.

King Matt was worried that his country could be next in line for attack so he decided it would be in the country's best interests to join the war - before it reached their lands. As was expected of the king, he led his army himself into the Conglomerate Empires. It was fair to say that no army was more passionate than his – they loved and respected their King so much they wouldn't even blink to lie down and die if he so commanded it.

In King Matthew's absence from Simonville, he bequeathed his older cousin, Prince Wagner…"

"Boo!" Harry catcalled, making Louis smile before he continued.

"…take over rule of the country until his safe return. Unlike King Matt though, Prince Wagner was not fair to the people. He was obsessed with power and money, and had always hated his younger cousin for being the first in line for the crown. While he was in charge, he started to tax the people harder, to the point where some of the poorest just couldn't pay. Those poor people ended up in jail and those who criticised him ended up with a noose around their neck!"

"Oh no!" Harry gasped playfully, putting a hand to his mouth.

"I know, terrible wasn't it," said Louis with a wink, "the people of Simonville fell into despair and for the first time lived in fear – particularly those that lived in Walshham! That's where the evil Prince Wagner's closest ally, Sheriff Brookstein, lived."

"Booooooooo," Harry hissed.

"Just as the people were beginning to give up hope something special happened. A soldier called Aiden Grimshaw returned home, wounded, from fighting in the Conglomerate Empires. He was the only son of Lord Grimshaw, who governed the town of 'Grimshaw Lake'. Aiden's father was much loved by his people, like the King was, and was, in fact, a good friend of the King too. Aiden loved his father very much, and, while sad he couldn't keep fighting alongside his King, was looking forward to arriving home.

However, he returned to the worst news he could possibly imagine. His father had died while he had been away fighting and Sheriff Brookstein had taken over Lordship of the town. By rights, Aiden should have become the new governor but he was too upset by his father's death to go and pursue the matter with Prince Wagner. His sadness quickly turned to anger, however, when he saw how the people were being treated. He rode to Walshham to challenge the Sheriff about it.

It didn't go well; Brookstein just sneered at him and had his men chase Aiden out to the O'Leary forest, branding him an outlaw for criticising the Prince's decisions. So within a day of returning home, Aiden was left with nothing; no father, no house, no money, no food – not even any clothes save the ones on his back. He had no weapon on him either, which was a very unwise position to be in while walking through the forest. O'Leary forest was notorious for being the home of outlaws – those poor people who had been pursued into fleeing for their lives. Most of these outlaws had banded together and were led by a man called John Adeleye - also known as Little John to his friends

John's closest friend was an ex-slave called Nicolo – brought over from Italy to work in the mines. They were both very good friends with a servant-boy called Zayn, a farmer's hand called Niall and an apprentice carpenter called Louis."

Harry cheered sleepily.

"Don't be fooled though," Louis warned him, "they may sound like common peasants but these guys were seriously good with weapons. They had to be, or the Sheriff's guards would have killed them…

_Twenty minutes later_…

"Harry? _Harry_," Louis sing-songed softly. Harry didn't move, he was sound asleep – right at the good bit too. Louis pouted but then smiled. Harry looked so adorable with his chin tilted toward his shoulder. Louis sighed and then slipped off the bed, carrying his iPad over to the desk to charge up. He was loathed to close the connection but watching someone sleeping, when they didn't know, was a little on the creepy side – even for him. He would text Harry's mum in a minute instead. She would be up in a few hours, early bird that she was, so she could go into Harry's room and take the laptop off the bed before there was an accident.

**8:44 am the next morning**

Louis awoke to someone pounding on the door. Groaning, he rolled out of bed, without opening his eyes, and staggered towards it. There better be a fire. "Louis!" It was Niall.

"Hang on, hang on," Louis grumbled. He fumbled with the latch and swung the door open, forgetting that he was only wearing his boxer briefs. An old later walking past the door shot him a reproachful look. "What is it?" He whined as Niall pushed forwards, "It's too early to be going anywhere yet."

"It's quarter to nine," Niall retorted, with a half-eye-roll, "Zayn's missing."

"What?" Louis was too tired to think about what that meant.

"Zayn is _missing_," Niall emphasised.

Louis pinched the bridge, it was definitely way too early to deal with this, "What do you mean _missing_. Knowing Zayn he's probably still at someone's party."

"Louis," Niall frowned, "you know that isn't true."

"Yeah," Louis conceded the point, "I know." For all his idiot moments, Zayn always made it back in time for the morning curfew. It was a curfew they'd set for themselves as a precaution. If someone was spending the night somewhere else, whenever they were on tour or on the road, they had to report by 7 am. It was the safety net to ensure that nobody was in trouble. The worst person for failing to report in used to be Harry – usually because he was drunk and slept past the curfew. Zayn had never missed a curfew and had regularly chewed Harry out for doing so.

"Have you tried calling him?" Louis sighed.

"Yeah," Niall nodded, coming into the room and shutting the door, "for over an hour now. It keeps going to the answer machine. That's not like him either. His phone is practically attached to his ear! Louis… I've got one of my feelings."

Louis's stomach sank and he stared helplessly at his friend, Niall's feelings had a scary habit of becoming true, "Please tell me you're not serious. I don't think I can take anymore things going wrong."

"I just…" Niall looked away and sighed, "now that I think about it. There was something odd about that girl last night."

"What girl?" Louis asked sharply, putting his hands on his hips.

"Zayn was chatting to some girl when I left and…" Niall shifted uncomfortably, "just thinking about it… there was something _familiar_ about her. In fact… now that I really think about it," he looked back at Louis and Louis could see the uneasiness in his friend's eyes, "Zayn didn't seem to be flirting with her… more like he was talking to her quite seriously. I didn't think much of it at the time – you know how Zayn always likes to chat to the girls. I don't know how Myra puts up with him half the time."

Louis crossed his arms over his chest, "Any idea of what they might have been talking about? Do you think she was a reporter or something?"

"I don't know…" then Niall shook his head, "no, I don't think she was a reporter."

"Okay," Louis sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose again, he was starting to get a headache already, "Have you checked Twitter? The fans are always quick to find out where we are."

"I checked first thing," Niall admitted, "nothing."

"Damn," Louis swore, "alright, firstly, let's not panic yet. Zayn's allowed to make a mistake of sleeping in once in his life. Let's take a wander outside and see if we can spot him - maybe ask the staff if they've seen him this morning." He bent down and pulled up some of his clothes from off the floor. "Keep calling his mobile too. It's almost nine o'clock on a weekday so I doubt he could sleep in much longer, whoever he's with is bound to be working. I'm just hoping he's kipping on someone's floor and hasn't done anything stupid." By stupid he meant slept with someone. Louis liked Myra a lot, he thought she was great for Zayn, she kept him level-headed, and she certainly didn't deserve to be cheated on, drunken mistake or not

None of the staff had seen him nor did Zayn answer any of their calls. Nothing was said on Twitter by the fans and Louis was getting worried by eleven o'clock. Zayn had never gone missing like this – Harry yes, Zayn no.

He had been wandering the blocks around the hotel for about half an hour, with no luck, when he decided to head down to Central Park. It was a random inspiration, especially as Zayn wasn't really a nature lover but… well he was out of ideas. Plus he liked Central Park himself.

It was quite busy with dog walkers and joggers when he got there. Students walked past him in chatting groups as they headed towards their campuses. Louis pushed his shades up higher. Even if Zayn _was_ here it would be like trying to find the proverbial needle in a haystack. He sighed; suddenly thinking it was pointless and turned towards the pond thinking he could have a seat for a few minutes and call Niall again. There was an empty bench a few yards from the water's edge and he dropped down onto it with groan of pleasure. It was hot today and he was starting to sweat. Damn Zayn. He fished out his mobile from his pocket and scrolled down to Niall's name. He cast a look about the pond as he put the phone to his ear. Then he paused, he eyes falling on a red shirt on a bench further down. It looked like the same one Zayn had been wearing last night but it couldn't be him… could it? He stopped the call and stood up, starting to walk along the path towards the man. The closer he got the more and more it definitely looked like Zayn. Of all the places in New York… had Louis actually stumbled accidentally on his friend? The statistics had to astronomical!

It _was_ Zayn. When Louis was close enough to be sure, he let out a cry of relief and ran the rest of the way.

"Zayn!" He cried, "what the hell are you doing mate? We've been looking all over for you! Why didn't you answer your phone? We've been worried!"

Zayn didn't look up and Louis realised quickly something was wrong. He slowed down as he reached the edge of the bench and rounded it to stand in front of his friend. Zayn still didn't look up.

"Zayn?" Louis asked carefully, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. It was then that Zayn momentarily glanced up and Louis was shocked at how red-rimmed his friend's eyes were. He looked down again pretty quickly, shuddering. "Hey," Louis sank down onto the bench beside him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, tugging the younger man towards him, "are you okay? What's going on?"

Zayn leaned into Louis's embrace, "I've messed up Louis," he croaked, "I've messed up so bad."

Louis could feel his friend shaking and tightened his grip, "hey," he soothed, "I'm sure whatever it is we can work it out together. First, let me just call Niall to let him know you're safe." He did so quickly and then turned his attention back to Zayn.

"So what's going on? Has this got something to do with that girl Niall saw you with last night?" As Zayn nodded Louis groaned and closed his eyes, "for the love of Mary, please tell me you didn't sleep with her!"

"Worse," Zayn whispered.

"Oh god," said Louis, his heart starting to beat faster, "how much worse are we talking? Do I need to call a divorce lawyer?"

Zayn let out a long shuddering breath and leant forward to rest his chin in his hands, shaking his head, "No. Do you remember about two years ago when we last came to New York?"

"Yeah…" said Louis carefully. He had spent the whole trip trying to get up the courage to go into the Gym Sports Bar – which boasted it was the only sports bar for gays in the city (at the time). He figure that if he was going to try that scene he wanted to do it somewhere where he was least likely to be recognised. He'd never found the courage.

"Well…" said Zayn, "do you remember the night we all went to that club?"

"Erm… yes," Louis grimaced; it was a night he'd tried to forget had ever existed. He had got so drunk he'd tried to chat up a man in drag and ended up swimming naked in the Hudson. Then, if that wasn't bad enough, after giggling through a thorough dressing down by the local NYPD boat crew, he'd forgotten where he'd left his clothes and proceeded to throw up all over Liam's brand new boots - twice.

"Well there was this girl… the girl I saw last night."

"Coincidence that," Louis said shewdly, "eight million people in the city and you just happen to bump into her?"

"It wasn't a coincidence," said Zayn, "she came to find me."

"Okay," Louis nodded, "what happened the last time you were here?"

"I… uh… I got drunk – _very_ drunk – and I may have um… you know…"

"Slept with her?" Louis replied wryly, "please tell me you're joking Zayn. You started seeing Myra over three years ago. Please tell me you didn't do that to her."

Zayn shook his head, then nodded and drew his knees up to his chest, "I wasn't sure at the time," he sniffed, "I couldn't remember much from that night – I mean I was _really_ drunk - and she wasn't there when I woke up the next morning. I thought I might have dreamed it… you know?"

"But you didn't," said Louis with a sigh, pinching his nose. He really needed some headache tablets. Zayn shook his head. "So this girl…" Louis asked, when it didn't look like Zayn was going to say anymore, "she knew you were in town and stropped by the hotel, hoping for a replay?"

"No," Zayn shook his head again and swallowed thickly, "she… she… had something to tell me."

Louis closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath, "please, Zayn, please tell me this isn't going where I think it's going?"

Zayn licked his lips and let out another shuddering breath, "she had a baby about a year ago… she… she says… it's _mine_."

"Fuck me sideways," said Louis, pressing his fingers to his eyes, under the sunglasses. "Jesus _Zayn_…" he looked up the sky, completely staggered. Why was this happening? He sighed, "Are you sure it's yours? I mean, it's been almost two years since that night and she's only telling you now? I mean, what does she want, money for the kid?"

"No," Zayn shook his head, looking lost, "she doesn't want anything. She just wanted me to know. She says I can take a paternity test – gave me her address and everything, so that I can be sure but… she said she's not sure she wants me to have anything to do with the kid. She… Jesus Louis," Zayn fisted his own hair in his hands, "I might have _a kid_… I might… be _a father_ and… I never knew!"

Louis let out a long breath and automatically tugged his friend towards him again.

"I mean… what do I do?" asked Zayn faintly, "What the fuck do I do now? Tell me, _please_," he implored, "I'm so scared, what do I do?"

Louis bit his lip and glanced up at the sky again; what was he supposed to tell his friend? The truth? Or a platitude? He swallowed… he needed… he needed to be firm, strong and decisive. He could do that.

"Okay," he pulled back, ensuring he had Zayn's full attention, "here's what you have to do. First, you take that paternity test. There's no point in worrying about anything else until you know for sure the kid is yours." Zayn sniffed and nodded. "If the kid _is_ yours then you've got to make a decision. Do you want to be part of the kid's life? If the answer is yes then you have to talk to the girl. What's her name anyway?"

"Akeisha."

"Okay," Louis nodded, "You will have to talk to Akeisha then, find out whether she really doesn't want you to have a part in the kid's life. If she doesn't, and you really want to be a part of the kid's life, then you might have a court battle on your hands. That's not all, whether or not the baby is yours you're going to have to tell Myra that you slept with Akeisha."

"But she'll never forgive me," Zayn wailed, "she'll walk right out and… I love her… I don't want to lose her."

"I'm sorry," Louis was firm, "but that's a possibility you're going to have to live with. You may have been drunk at the time but the fact is you _cheated_ on her _and_ may have a child because of it. Come on, let's get back to the hotel and we'll find out how we go about getting this paternity test." He stood up and held his hand out to Zayn. Zayn took it and Louis hauled him up. As Louis turned to walk away, Zayn grabbed his wrist to stop him, "Louis…" he said, shaking his head and looking utterly miserable, "I'm _sorry_."

Louis gave him a small smile and pulled him into another hug. "It's not me you need to apologise to."

The nearest testing lab was in New Jersey and it would take five working days to get the results. Louis had promised Zayn he wouldn't tell the others, including Niall, until the results were through. Until then, it was a very tense wait for them both. Harry, of course, noticed Louis's apprehension and called him on it straight away. Louis hated lying to Harry, he really, really did, but he had made a promise to Zayn. As usual Harry saw straight through his lies, getting upset that Louis wasn't being honest with him.

"Harry," Louis begged, "please don't be mad at me. I made a promise not to tell anyone! Please don't put me in that position. I don't like not telling you things but this isn't really for me to tell."

That had quietened Harry, "Okay, okay. I trust you," he'd replied after a few moment's silence, "Just… _tell me_ that you can't tell me something in future – don't try to lie."

"Alright, I promise," said Louis in relief, "thank you."

"You're okay, though?" Harry questioned, still sounding worried.

"I'm fine," replied Louis, grinning, "desperate to get home to see you but I'm good."

Harry chuckled, lowly, "I'm desperate for you to come home too."

"Really?" Louis responded huskily, settling back against his headboard as he sensed the mood change, "and what do you think we'd be doing if I _was_ home?"

Harry's eyes hooded as he stared into the web-cam, "ohh, we'd be making up for a lot of lost time."

Louis's stomach tightened and a wave of arousal shot straight to his groin, "Mmm," he groaned, "like what? Tell me what you would do." He saw Harry's hand disappear out of the bottom of the shot. Oh Jesus, was this really going where he thought it might be going? Another wave of arousal shot down to his groin at the thought and he reached down to adjust himself. As he did so, his hand brushed against his fly and he groaned out-loud at the pleasure that pulsed through him.

"I would shove you against the nearest wall and give you the fucking best kiss of your life," Harry growled.

That did it. Louis whimpered and shoved his hand down into his pants, "Then what?" He croaked.

"Then I would reach down for your… _holy crap_, MUM!" Harry's head had whipped around, looking absolutely horrified. Louis wrenched his hand out of his own pants and sat up, his heart beating furiously. Oh god, had someone just walked in on Harry? His face grew hot with embarrassment and he strained to hear what Harry was saying, "Can't you _knock_? God…" then Harry sank his face into his hands as there was a thud, that sounded like a door closing, "Louis, I'm so sorry," Harry groaned.

"Don't be," said Louis with a low chuckle, "did your mum see anything?"

Harry whined and curled in further to himself, nodding, "I don't think she could have missed the fact that I had my hand in my boxers. Oh _God_. I may never be able to have sex again."

"Aww, don't say that. Anyway, it's must be getting late there, surely you should be heading to bed?"

"Yeah, it's just gone midnight," Harry nodded, "how about you finish telling me that story. I want to know if Louis the Carpenter sweeps Count Harry off his feet!"

On day five of the wait for the results, Zayn couldn't sit still. Niall wasn't an idiot and couldn't help but notice that something was up. Zayn had little choice but to come clean to him. Niall was unsurprisingly shocked at first but then became quite sympathetic and both he and Louis tried to take Zayn's mind off it by have a twitcam session with the fans.

The phone call finally came in at 1.27 pm. Zayn had gone pure white in the face when his mobile started to ring. He had pressed the answer button with shaking hands and then headed out onto the balcony for some privacy. When he returned he looked completely dazed. Louis took the phone from his hand as Niall led him over to sit on the bed.

"So?" Louis asked breathlessly. "What did they say?"

"The test came back 99.99 percent positive," said Zayn faintly, "I'm the father of a 14 month boy called Jaden Garcia."

"_Oh Zayn…_" Louis whispered, he didn't know whether to jump for joy or hug his friend in commiseration, "what are you going to do?"

Zayn looked up at him with wide, incredulous eyes, "I don't have a clue, Louis. I don't have a clue."

"Do you want to be part of his life?" Louis asked him softly, sitting down on the bed.

Zayn's expression tightened, "What kind of father would I be?" He asked glumly, "My son is over a year old and I have never even seen a photograph of him – I didn't even know he existed until a week ago!"

"That's not your fault," said Niall calmly, sitting down on Zayn's other side and patting his friend's knee, "Akeisha never told you she was pregnant."

"I've still missed out on some of the best bits of his life," said Zayn wistfully.

"Well," Louis soothed, "you now have the option of not missing anything else – now that you know."

"Oh but how would that work?" Zayn cried, jumping to his feet, "he lives here in America while I spend most of the year in Britain. I really can't see Akeisha agreeing to move countries – she doesn't even want me to be part of his life! The courts always side with the mother so there's no point in me even trying to fight for custody."

"That's not true," said Louis calmly, "yes, the courts prefer the child to stay with the mother but father's are still entitled to see their children. If you really want to be part of Jaden's life then I'm certain the court will provide you with the opportunity – even if it's just over the holidays. The question is simple; do you _want_ to be part of your son's life?"

"Yes," Zayn breathed, "by god, yes I do."

"Well congratulations," smiled Louis, wrapping his friend in a hug, "on being One Direction's first father!"

It took some persuading but Zayn managed to convince Akeisha to let him meet his son. She reluctantly agreed to set up a meeting for the following day, knowing that she was lucky Zayn was asking her rather than going through the authorities and demanding it. Once he'd hung up he then phoned Liam and Harry to tell them the news before making the dreaded phone call to Simon. Simon took it better than expected – not exactly happy but said he was glad that Zayn wasn't a teenage father at least. He would arrange a family lawyer to be available if Zayn needed one. Zayn thanked him and said he'd let him know.

That just left telling Myra. It went better than he had anticipated. She listened to everything he had to say before telling him she needed some time to think and consider the situation. At least she hadn't screamed at him before he had had the chance to properly explain – like he'd been afraid of. He knew he had a lot of making up to do with her. Louis was right, Myra was perfect for him and he better not ever take her for granted again. He would do everything he could to put things right between them. The fact that he had told her straight away instead of hiding it seemed to have helped the situation. He couldn't wait to get home and talk to her face to face though – if she would let him.

The next morning Louis and Niall went with Zayn to the agency for emotional support. They were to meet at a local office of the Child Support Enforcement where they could sort of some kind of temporary arrangement and discuss what happened next legally.

Zayn, Louis and Niall arrived there a little early but were immediately taken to a room down a long corridor. The room looked like one of those police interrogation offices from a movie – complete with table and one-way window. Zayn couldn't stop fidgeting and fretting, "what if he hates me?" he asked Niall for the fifth time.

"Zayn," Niall sighed, accidentally kicking him under the desk, "the kid is only a year old – he probably can't even talk yet! If he starts crying at you it's probably because you're a stranger not because he _hates_ you."

They waited for almost half an hour before a woman finally came to speak to them. She was in her late fifties, very stern and asked Zayn a lot of brisk questions from his date of birth to his aspirations for the future. She wrote down all his answers in a professional-looking file with meticulous care. Louis was tempted to ask what half of the questions had to do with Zayn seeing his own son but he kept quiet for his friend's sake. Finally the woman put her pen down and stared at Zayn over the top of her glasses. "I can see the news of your son has come as quite a shock to you Mr Malik. But you seem to be handling the situation well. The worst thing to do in this sort of circumstance is to be angry and to rush in demanding access. You have remained calm so far, which I dare say may be largely thanks to your friends?"

"My brothers," Zayn corrected, "in everything but blood."

"Indeed," the woman cracked a smile and it was rather startling, "I have to be straight with you Mr Malik; if you were to contest for full custody in court, the fact that you tour regularly as part of your band duties would count against you. The courts look for stability and you cannot guarantee that."

"Ma'am," said Zayn, "I have no experience of being a father and I will admit there is every chance I would be a terrible one. All I can say is Jaden is my son and I want what's best for him, even if that means I only get to see him for a few weeks of the year. All _I want_ is to get to know him and for him to know I am here and that I care. Surely it must be possible to find a custody arrangement that can suit everybody and still be in Jaden's best interests?"

"I believe there is," the woman smiled again, making Louis shiver, and she stood up, "okay Mr Malik, would you like to meet your son now?"

Jaden was probably the cutest kid Louis had ever seen in his life. He was a happy, drooling, babbling baby with a shock of black hair and the most gorgeous little dimples ever. He scampered across the floor on his hands and knees giggling and peering at all the toys in the crèche in delight. Akeisha wasn't there, as per the protocol, and Jaden was being watched by the crèche attendant. Niall and Louis hung back and let Zayn approach the kid first. Zayn dropped to his knees and smiled nervously, "Hi Jaden."

The baby looked up and smiled before holding out a brick to him and babbling excitedly. Louis felt it was a success.

A few days and it was their last in New York. They had to fly back to LA for a few more interviews before returning to Britain. Akeisha brought Jaden over to their hotel for a few hours while she talked to Zayn about visitation dates. They had temporarily agreed that Zayn could see Jaden during the holidays. Akeisha didn't want a custody battle; she even admitted that she didn't mind Zayn being part of Jaden's life. She had just been scared that Zayn would take Jaden away from her by using his celebrity status. Zayn had reassured her beyond a doubt that it would never be the case providing _she_ was fair to him too.

Louis was left to play with Jaden while Niall fiddled around on his laptop – no doubt tweeting about them heading to LA or something. For some reason Jaden was quite taken by Louis and babbled away as he prodded at his face with his stubby finger.

"Hey guys," said Niall suddenly, sitting down beside them and placing his laptop on his knee and spinning it around to face them, "some people want to say hi."

Louis gasped in delight as he saw Liam and Harry staring out through the Skype video, grinning and waving at him. He gently pulled Jaden's fist from his hair and turned the baby around, sitting him on his lap and pointing to the screen. "Look Jay! There's Uncle Harry and Uncle Liam." He helped Jaden to wave at them and then pressed the kid's finger to Liam's face on the screen saying slowly, "Li-am" and then to "Har-ry". Then he pointed Jaden's finger up to Niall, pronouncing, "Ni-all" and then to himself, "Lou-is."

"Ooey!" Jaden babbled, reaching up to grab Louis's cheeks, "Ooey, ooey, ooey!" Niall, Harry and Liam all laughed at him. "Uncle Ooey," Niall nodded, patting Louis's shoulder, "I like it. Hang on, I want some pictures for the photo album." Next thing Louis knew he was getting blinded by the flash from the camera.

"Thanks," he muttered, seeing spots as he reached out to steady the baby as the kid made another grab for his hair.

"Hey Jaden!" Harry called out from the laptop speakers. Jaden stopped mid pinch and turned around, fascinated by the voice. He crawled over to the laptop and peered into it. Harry waved at him. Jaden stared and then said, "abba?"

"Harry," Harry corrected with a chuckle.

Jaden squealed in delight and poked the screen where Harry's face was. "Abba!" Then he turned and scampered on his knees back to Louis who scooped him up and blew a raspberry on his tummy making the boy giggle.

A hand suddenly curled around Louis's shoulder and he looked up and grinned to see Zayn smiling down at them. He lifted the baby up higher so that Zayn could take his son out of his hands. Zayn did and held the kid up against his shoulder, tickling his tummy affectionately, "I think you're going to be spoilt," he tutted with a chuckle, "especially by your Uncle Louis."

"And your Uncle Harry!" Harry shouted through the computer.

"And your Uncle Harry," Zayn laughed, pressing a kiss to Jaden's cheek. "Welcome to the band my son."

Like everything else had panned out so far, the three boys didn't get to go straight home after LA. They stopped in Ireland for a few days where they had to do without the internet at the hotel and no phone signal. Niall and Louis just about went spare not being able to talk to Liam and Harry.

Next they flew to Glasgow for a series of signings and magazine interviews. They also did a radio show and made a surprise visit to the Sick Kids Hospital in Edinburgh. The moment they had touched down at Glasgow International, Louis tweeted,

**Louis_Tomlinson** Louis Tomlinson

Harry_Styles Only 400 miles away now my love. I'll be home soon x

10 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Harry_Styles** Harry Styles

Louis_Tomlinson I'll put the kettle on then lol xx

15 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

The twitter fans went crazy and without the boys even instigating it #HarrisToyles trended No. 1 worldwide again.

Then it was down to Newcastle again for the boys for a second spate of signings - the lads slowly working their way back down the country.

**Louis_Tomlinson** Louis Tomlinson

Harry_Styles Only 300 miles away now my love x

20 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

The three of them were back to sharing rooms again so they had no privacy whatsoever. This meant video Skyping wasn't really an option – at least not if they had something private to say.

Harry and Louis returned to flirting with each other on Twitter instead - much to their fans delight. They now had a lot of celebrity followers too and there seemed to be a huge fascination over their relationship. 'Are they or aren't they?' seemed to be the big question everyone was debating at the moment. The fact that they'd changed their bromance name and were flirting incessantly made many people question whether their bromance had actually changed to a romance. Some of the younger fans, mostly girls it had to be said, were adamant that Louis and Harry were _not_ gay together and scorned anyone who dared say otherwise. A much, _much_ bigger proportion of the fans, though, were practically dribbling with excitement that their favourite two members may have found love together. Harry and Louis never confirmed nor denied the rumour but just kept flirting back and forth in a completely over-the-top fashion.

**Louis_Tomlinson** Louis Tomlinson

Harry_Styles Can't stop thinking about you, only 250 miles away x

20 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Harry_Styles** Harry Styles

Louis_Tomlinson Can't stop thinking about you either :D Wear the cream shirt again tonight – just for me xx

15 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Louis_Tomlinson** Louis Tomlinson

Harry_Styles Still 250 miles away but in the opposite direction :( x

20 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Harry_Styles** Harry Styles

Louis_Tomlinson I don't think I can wait much longer :( Please come home my darling!

10 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Louis_Tomlinson** Louis Tomlinson

Toyles4eva What couldn't I live without? Harry.

5 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Harry_Styles** Harry Styles

Toyles4eva LOUIS of course!

30 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Louis_Tomlinson** Louis Tomlinson

Harry_Styles Only 200 miles away now! So close I can almost taste…

15 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Harry_Styles** Harry Styles

Louis_Tomlinson Is it creepy that I've just watched you on the Piers Morgan Show four times today?

15 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Louis_Tomlinson** Louis Tomlinson

Harry_Styles Just another week and half and I'll be home!

20 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

**Harry_Styles** Harry Styles

Louis_Tomlinson I don't think I can wait that long… :(

10 seconds ago via Twitter for iPhone

"Man I am seriously knackered," Niall yawned as the three of them set about getting changed out of their suits. They'd spent the evening at an awards ceremony where they'd presented Simon with some kind of lifetime achievement plaque. It had been a good night and they'd met up with a few of their friends such as Matt, Olly and Rebecca but now they were weary and just dying for the week to end so they could go home.

"Tell me about it," Louis yawned back, slipping off his tie.

There was knock on the door, Niall raised an eyebrow, "any of you order room service?"

Louis and Zayn shook their heads. Someone knocked again, louder, and Niall went to answer it.

"Oh my god! _Harry_?" Niall gasped as he opened the door and Louis froze, half-way through unbuttoning his shirt. _It couldn't be._ "What on _earth_ are you doing here?" Niall cried.

Harry stepped inside and met Louis's eyes instantly, blazingly bright. "I couldn't wait." Louis stopped breathing.

Then Harry added for the others benefit, without dropping his gaze from Louis's, "Liam's waiting for you downstairs in the bar Niall, as is Myra, Zayn." Neither lads had to be told twice. Giving Harry a quick hug each as they made for the door, they hurried out the room leaving Harry and Louis standing still staring at each other, alone for the first time in almost two months.

Very carefully, Harry turned and shut the door, throwing the bolt. The noise of it locking sounded loud in the silence and Louis's heart started beating very fast. This was it. Harry then turned and dug into his pocket, pulling out his phone and switching it off, throwing in back into his jacket. Then he started to walk towards Louis and Louis couldn't help but think _wow_. Harry looked fucking gorgeous. He hair was a curly silken mess, he was donned in tight black jeans and a dark green shirt and his eyes were as bright as emeralds. He watched as Harry paused in his walk to pull the phone plug out of the wall too before carrying on calmly right up Louis so they where almost toe to toe. Louis could smell the cologne the moment his friend was two foot away; Harry had made an effort to look good – he'd planned this. Louis could hardly breathe with the anticipation and jumped when Harry suddenly plunged his hand into his jacket pocket, yanking out his mobile. He switched it off too and tossed it onto the desk beside them, the noise rattling in the quiet. Then Harry was staring down into Louis's eyes, so real and warm and alive and Louis may have whimpered.

"I want to apologise in advance," Harry murmured, moving in even closer, breathing hotly, "because this is going to be messy and over _far too_ quickly." Then he shoved Louis backwards into the armchair and slithered onto his lap, grabbing Louis's cheeks as he smashed their lips together.

"I want to apologise in advance," Harry murmured, moving in even closer, breathing hotly, "because this is going to be messy and over _far too_ quickly." Then he shoved Louis backwards into the armchair and slithered onto his lap, grabbing Louis's cheeks as he smashed their lips together. Louis keened and grabbed Harry's hair, sinking his fingers into the silky curls. They felt cool and sleek around his fingers while Harry's mouth was hot, damp and slick, making Louis's head spin. Bloody hell, Harry was actually here and he was _kissing_ him. Louis's senses were on fire, assaulted from all angles from the familiar spicy deodorant, the weight and heat from Harry's body and the strong taste of mint on Harry's breath. Louis groaned and opened his mouth, practically melting as Harry's tongue slipped inside and brushed against his, rough and wet.

_Holy mother of god_, he was _kissing_ Harry. He. Was. Kissing. Harry. Like proper lips sliding, tongues tangling and saliva swapping and it was nothing like kissing Liam. It was _so_ good. It was so _hot_. He felt like he was on fire and he couldn't get close enough… he tugged on Harry's hips and moaned as Harry ground down fervently onto his lap. Zero to ninety in 2.4 seconds, got to be a record and, _God_, Harry was hard against him too.

_Holy shit_, Louis thought dazedly, he was actually making out with a _guy_. He could feel the prickly brush of stubble around his mouth, the smell of _male_ cologne from Harry's neck and the empty chest space between them where tits normally sat. It was almost surreal. Then there was the fact that they were both hard - he could feel the outline of Harry's dick against his stomach – and… it was so _weird_. It was _really_ weird and it made him pause for a moment, so it was just Harry's mouth moving against his. Louis let the sensation of being kissed run over him for a few seconds. He was being held as though he was precious, like the only thing that mattered was him and his mouth. It may be weird that it was a guy but it felt _good_. Then he remembered it was _Harry_, not just a guy, kissing him and, suddenly, it wasn't so weird either. In fact, it was possibly the hottest thing he'd experienced _ever_. Harry's hands were in his hair, gripping tight, pulling him impossibly close and Louis had never been so turned on in his life. He wanted to put his hands everywhere, map all the differences between them, discover all the places which made Harry gasp so sharply.

Then Harry was pulling back and tugging on the hem of his shirt, trying to rip it off. Louis quickly disentangled his hands from the silky curls and undid the sleeve buttons so that Harry could lift the shirt off without damaging anything. Harry did so, sliding his hands up the bare skin of Louis's chest as he went, making Louis shiver at the intimate sensation.

The moment the material was over his wrists, Louis dug his hands back into Harry's hair, hauling him in for another thorough kiss. Harry kissed back feverously, wrapping his arms around Louis's back and wriggling hotly on his lap. Yeah, this armchair was never going to do, Louis thought. He let go of Harry's hair and dropped his hands down onto Harry's knees, running them up the strong thighs and round to cup his friend's firm backside. Harry made the hottest of whimpers as Louis squeezed his buttocks and settled his hands under his arse. As he wrenched his mouth away from Harry's Louis rasped, "hold on tight," and then he was standing up and Harry's legs were wrapping tightly around his waist automatically, to stop himself falling.

"Whoa!" Harry gasped, sliding his arms around Louis's neck and holding on for dear life. Louis carefully changed his grip finding Harry was not as heavy as he had expected. "The fact you can lift me so easily," Harry whispered roughly into his neck, "should not feel as hot as it does."

Louis smirked and walked them over to the bed before turning and sitting down carefully, wriggling back as far as he could. Harry unwrapped his legs so that he was kneeling astride Louis's lap again. He leaned in until their noses touched and Louis could feel his warm minty breath against his lips.

"I love you," Harry whispered, staring right into Louis's eyes with startling sincerity.

Louis felt his throat close up, "I love you too," he whispered back and pulled Harry in slowly for a heartfelt kiss as he started to lie backwards. Harry went with him and for a few moments they just lay kissing.

Then Harry sat up again and yanked off his own shirt, bursting a few buttons in his haste by the sound of things. He threw the green material carelessly to the floor and leaned down again, catching Louis's lips in another lingering kiss. Louis tangled his hand's back into Harry's hair and kissed him hard, slipping his tongue into Harry's warm, wet mouth. Then Harry pulled away again and started to kiss down his throat. Louis groaned happily and tilted his head up, giving the younger man better access. Harry paused at Louis's collarbone and nipped the skin there affectionately before smirking and sucking hard. Louis's back arched off the bed in pleasure. He scrabbled at Harry's back trying to get him to stay there and do it again but Harry had other plans. He started to kiss down Louis's chest and Louis couldn't help thinking smugly, 'thousands of girls would be so jealous of me right now'. He felt Harry pause in his kissing and tilted his head forward, looking down to see why. Harry was staring at his left pec. Then, slowly, he looked up, catching Louis's gaze. His eyes were shining so bright and, as slowly as he'd looked up to meet Louis's eyes, he leaned down and pressed a feathery, soft kiss against Louis's heart. Louis bit his lip and felt his eyes prickle at the sheer amount of love and adoration in the gesture.

Harry trailed his lips downwards again until they were hovering over the thin line over Louis's left kidney. He glanced up, meeting Louis's steady gaze once more, before pressing another tender kiss against the slightly raised imperfection.

A wave of intense love for the young man above him hit Louis so hard in the chest he could barely breathe and he entreated, "_Harry_," as he sat up. He took Harry's face in his hands, his thumbs rubbing circles on the handsome cheeks and leaned in to press a gentle kiss to his friend's lips. When he pulled back he rubbed their noses together affectionately and grinned as Harry's face lit up in a brilliant smile.

"I love you," Louis said again and welcomed Harry's return kiss.

"Love you to," Harry replied sweetly, almost purring, "Now, lie back down so I can finish making you feel good."

Louis chuckled and thumbed Harry's cheeks again, "Only if I can make you feel good too."

"Deal."

Harry resumed by kissing down Louis's sternum and cheekily licking at the indent of his first ab. He then traced the contours of the six pack with his tongue, delighting in making Louis giggle and squirm. He held Louis's hips down as he ran his mouth downwards to the light happy trail leading down under the leather-belted trousers. Like he'd imagined all those years back, he took a few hairs between his teeth and looked up, tugging the hairs gently. Louis gasped and arched, need and want suddenly burning desperately in his eyes. Harry sat back and put his hands to the buckle of the belt. Louis's eyes went dark and Harry slipped the leather free of the buckle and popped the button of the black suit trousers. Pressing another kiss to Louis's abs he lowered the zip with care. The rasp sounded loud in the quiet room. Then he pulled at the trousers until they slipped down and Louis raised his bum off the bed so that Harry could slide the garment right off his feet. The belt made a light thud as it hit the carpet, still entangled in the belt loops. They'd seen each other in boxers thousands of times, they'd seen each other _naked_ just as much and yet there was something completely new and rousing about this moment. As Harry started to lean back down, Louis reached for him,

"Come here," he entreated.

Harry did and they kissed again. Louis wrapped his arms around the younger man and rolled. Harry rolled with him and landed on his back, quite close to the edge of the bed, with Louis grinning down at him.

"Very clever," Harry rumbled affectionately, running his fingers through Louis's hair. "Now what you going to do?"

Louis smiled and leaned in to start pressing kisses down Harry's neck and chest until he reached the edge of Harry's jeans. He glanced up, meeting Harry's hooded eyes and smirked. Very deliberately, making sure Harry was watching, he lowered his mouth until his teeth bit down on the tab, then he tugged sharply and the top button popped through the hole. Harry gasped and threw his head backwards, jerking his hips. Louis then took the zipper carefully between his front teeth and drew it down slowly – loving the desperate sound Harry made. He took a hold of the jeans and tugged them down off Harry's long legs. As he did he saw the pink scar of the puncture wound on Harry's right thigh. It was the first time he had ever seen it and he instinctively bent down to place a gentle kiss on the scarred flesh. He felt Harry shudder and smiled. Then he slid back up, so that he was hovering over the younger man, staring down into his face. He pressed a quick kiss to Harry's lips before murmuring, "how are your ribs?"

"Fine," Harry replied softly, stretching up to steal another kiss from Louis's mouth. "Louis?"

"Mmm?" Louis lay down and nuzzled into the hollow of Harry's throat.

"I'm uh…" Harry hesitated, "not… uh… really sure where to go from here."

Louis smiled against Harry's warm skin and shifted up so he was looking down into Harry's eyes, "I'm not either," he admitted, "but I'm sure we can figure something out." He kissed Harry again, sucking on his plump lower lip and making the younger man groan in pleasure. "Can I touch you?" He whispered and Harry nodded, kissing him again. Without breaking the kiss, Louis reached down and tentatively palmed the bulge in Harry's boxers. Harry moaned and pushed up into his hand. Louis could feel the outline of Harry's erection and going on instinct, he slid his fingers up it. Harry jerked. Feeling bolder, Louis slipped his hand inside and took Harry's dick in his hand. It was hot, hard and silky smooth – not unlike what his own felt like. Uncertainly, Louis slowly jerked upwards and Harry keened lowly, burrowing his head in Louis's neck. Then he was wriggling and Louis leaned back to see Harry blindly searching for something on the bed with his hand. He was about to ask what he was looking for when Harry suddenly brought his hand up and murmured, "here."

Frowning, Louis removed his hand from Harry's boxers and took the small object Harry was holding out to him. It was a small packet and Louis smirked when he realised what it was, "well, well, well," he chuckled, "aren't you the little boy scout. Any reason it's strawberry flavour?"

Harry blushed hotly, "It was all Liam had left in his stash!"

Louis squeezed his eyes shut trying desperately not to think about Liam and Niall doing anything that required flavoured lube. "A thief too! You're a man after my own heart Harry Styles."

Harry smiled softly and reached up to finger Louis's fringe, "I hoped I already had your heart."

Okay, Louis may be a guy but something as sweet as that was more that enough to make him melt like the proverbial chocolate in the sun.

"Of course you do," he replied instantly, taking the hand that was playing with his hair and kissing the fingers, "as far as I'm concerned everything that I have and am belongs to you."

Harry's lips wobbled for a moment but then he licked them and smiled, "okay, enough of the sap Mr Tomlinson. Make me feel good _and_, if you do a decent job, I'll make you feel good too."

"Yes sir!" Louis grinned back in reply and set about ripping open the lube and coating his fingers with the cool liquid.

Harry yelped as Louis slipped his hand under his boxers again and took him in a firm grip, "You could have warmed it first, arsehole."

"Oops," said Louis, with an apologetic grin, "I'm sure I'll remember next time."

He started to jerk Harry off, delighting in every sigh, moan, arch and toe curl. He wasn't prepared for Harry's hand slipping into _his_ boxers though and nearly embarrassed himself when the warm clench of Harry's fingers settled around his aching dick. "_Harry_," he whined, closing his eyes in pleasure. It was everything Harry predicted; messy and over far too quick.

Within minutes Louis was shaking on the edge and Harry's moans were almost rolling into one. Louis tried not to think 'oh my god I'm sharing hand-jobs with Harry and am about to come over his hand' but he couldn't. It was too amazing. And to think he potentially had a lifetime ahead of him of getting jerked off by _Harry_. It was just bloody exciting and _hot_.

Harry tensed underneath him, whining, "_Louis_," as a warning and Louis felt Harry's dick jerk in his palm and then something hot and sticky pulse over his hand. _Wow_, he thought incredulously, he'd just made Harry come. That was… that was… there were no words to describe how incredible it was. _He_ had done that, he had made Harry that hot… and that was Harry's… yeah, he should probably be concentrating on his own orgasm, which… He felt Harry press his thumb into the top and that was that. Louis's hips jerked violently and he came in messy spasms inside his boxers and all over Harry's hand.

Niall tried not to run since he was twenty-four years old _and_ he was in a hotel but his pace could totally have broken the fastest walk record in the world. Zayn was hot on his heels. Niall had no idea how things were between him and Myra but it was good to see that Zayn was enthusiastic to see her. He, himself, was almost shaking with need to see his boyfriend. It had been a couple of months too many. He led the way into the bar and looked desperately around the tables searching for that familiar face.

"Niall!"

Niall whipped around and gasped, "Liam!" There he was, lounging back in an open booth, crutches cast to the side and grinning at him like he was the second coming. Niall started towards him biting his lip. Liam looked _amazing_ – so full of life and _happy_.

The last time Niall had physically seen him, Liam had still been hooked up to half a million machines in the critical care unit, barely strong enough to talk let alone sit up or walk. The change was startling and way too amazing for Niall to handle. Somewhere between the door and the booth he started crying and had to blindly feel his way around the table into Liam's arms.

Almost eight weeks, it had been almost eight long weeks since they had been together. Liam was shaking in his embrace, muttering wonderful things like, "I've missed you so much", "please don't cry, you'll get me started" and "God, I love you. I love you so much."

Poor Niall just couldn't stop sobbing, clutching his boyfriend and fearing he would disappear if he let go. But Liam didn't let go either, neither caring what they looked like to the other bar patrons.

Eventually Niall did pull back and his hands trembled as he gently pushed Liam's bangs behind his ears, "I love you," he managed to choke and then leaned forward, capturing Liam's lips in a kiss. It was soft and loving and when it ended Niall smiled as he stared into his boyfriend's chocolate brown eyes, "So why didn't you come up to the room with Harry?"

Liam chuckled and settled his arms around Niall's neck, "I think Harry and Louis need some time together and I promised Harry I'd make sure they had some privacy."

Niall frowned seeing the smirk on Liam's face, "are you suggesting…" he trailed off and raised his eyebrows in surprise, _Harry and Louis_. Well it wasn't absurd but Niall had figured it was never going to happen, not after all this time.

Liam chuckled again, "put it this way," he said, "if Harry's getting his way, we really don't want to interrupt them within the next hour – maybe not until morning."

"_Wow_," whistled Niall, "I had no idea they were together, Louis never said anything while we were away. It does explain all the flirting though. But why didn't they say anything?"

Liam smiled, "because there wasn't anything to tell. They aren't together… _yet_."

"But they're…" Niall started say and then realised just what might be going on upstairs.

"Probably in the process of getting there," Liam finished, "in more ways than one. Now, how about you treat me to some Nandos? I'm starving and haven't been out for months. You can tell me all about America and my new nephew."

Niall laughed and got to his feet, "I'd be delighted sir. Do you want to invite Myra and Zayn?" He glanced over at their friends who were deep in conversation on the other side of the table.

"Nah," Liam shook his head, grinning as he reached for his crutches, "I want you _all_ _to myself_ for a few hours."

Harry and Louis lay entwined together, sweaty and panting, on Louis's bed – their hearts thudding wildly as they came down from their highs. Louis groaned happily, sliding his legs against Harry's as he leaned up to kiss him again. Harry moaned into it, threading his fingers into Louis's hair and pulling him down closer.

"We're doing that again in five minutes," he warned, chuckling against Louis lips. Louis smirked and took Harry's hands from his hair, pinning them down onto the mattress either side of his friend's head. Harry's eyes darkened at the possessive move.

"Why wait five minutes?" Louis purred, nosing at Harry's throat. Then he started to kiss down Harry's chest again, pausing to dip his tongue into Harry's belly button. Harry groaned in pleasure and shifted his hips.

"Louis," he chuckled, reaching down to tug on his friend's shoulders, "don't you think we should clean up first?" Louis considered it for a moment. They _were_ covered in things that should probably be washed off being more play commenced… He sat up and pouted, making Harry chuckle again. Slowly, Harry sat up too, wrapping a hand around the back of Louis's neck, "It doesn't have to be major clean up," he soothed, nuzzling into Louis's cheek, "just a quick wipe-down or…" he bit Louis's ear gently, "we could have a _shower_… together."

A hundred hot images played through Louis's mind at that and he couldn't get off the bed quick enough, tugging Harry along with him. Harry just managed to grab the lube before Louis hauled him towards the bathroom.

Twenty-five minutes later, Louis was brushing his teeth hard over the sink, "Ugh," he groaned, after spitting out a frothy mouthful, "I really don't know how Liam and Niall do it."

Harry chuckled throatily as he came up behind the smaller man, wrapping his arms around Louis's naked chest and resting his chin playfully on his shoulder. "Well," he said, "they only had strawberry left in their stash, maybe they left it to last because they knew it tasted awful. We can try some other flavours if you like."

Louis paused his brushing and arched an eyebrow at Harry in the mirror, "really?"

"Mmmhmm," Harry mumbled, pressing a soft kiss to the freshly washed skin, "I saw a 24-hr Sainsbury's down the road. How about we try and get another room – one to ourselves and have some fun trying stuff out? We have a lot of lost time to make up for after all."

"I like how you think Batman," Louis rinsed his mouth out and turned in Harry's arms, kissing him soundly, "Hmm…" he said, pulling back, "we should probably get you a toothbrush too. That lube really is awful."

"I agree," said Harry, pulling a face as he ran his tongue over his teeth, "come on, let's get dressed."

So to appear more innocuous, Harry went to get them a separate room by himself while Louis tackled Sainsbury's or any nearby drug store that was open. Harry had had to borrow a pair of boxers and a shirt from Louis just to go downstairs, since he'd ruined both of his own. Niall and Liam had walked past him at the reception desk and given him a knowing wolf-whistle, much to his embarrassment. It was even more embarrassing when he saw recognition in the reception girl's eyes as he asked for a King size room for two people to share. They both knew he would be getting lucky tonight – only, he hoped she didn't know _who_ he was going to get lucky with. He wanted some time alone with Louis before the press caught wind.

Once he had the key-cards he texted Louis to tell him the room number. It took Louis the best part of half and hour to return and Harry grew ever more impatient as he waited. He was starting to get worried when there was a loud knock on the door – Louis's typical shave and a haircut greeting. He sprang up off the bed and flung the door open. Louis sauntered in with a bulging bag of goods.

"What on earth did you buy?" Harry asked incredulously, staring as Louis dumped it on the table.

"Wow," said Louis ignoring Harry's question and, instead, looking around the room in appraisal, "this is rather nice." He then proceeded to drop his coat and hat on the floor. Typical.

Harry walked over to the table and peered into the bag, "you bought food?" he asked in surprise.

Louis smiled, leaning sideways to press a kiss to Harry's lips, "indeed I did, Mr Styles. Figured you might be hungry?"

It was only then that Harry realised he _was_. He hadn't had anything to eat since leaving Bexley some five hours earlier. His stomach suddenly rumbled and Louis chuckled, lobbing a sandwich box into his hands. Harry kissed his cheek in appreciation and sat down to eat it – Tikka Chicken salad, his favourite too.

"I also bought you a toothbrush!" Louis brandished a children's toothbrush in the shape of a dragon and Harry rolled his eyes. "And some toothpaste!" He dug in the bag again and pulled out some bottles of coke, crisps, candy and chocolate. Then he finally got to the interesting stuff. "I tell you," he said seriously, holding up the first box, "I have never appreciated self-service checkouts before. It avoids a lot of uncomfortable looks."

Harry stared as Louis pulled out another two boxes and several coloured bottles, "Uh Louis?" he raised an eyebrow, "Just how much lube do you think we're going to get through?"

"Well they didn't come in smaller sizes," Louis defended, "and I figured the more I got, the better chance we have of finding something that tastes okay." He lifted up one of the boxes and started to read the back.

"_I_ can't believe we're actually having this conversation…" Harry muttered, biting back into his sandwich, his cheeks growing warm.

Ten minutes later, Harry had finished eating, brushed his teeth and was now sitting with Louis on the bed with various sachets and bottles of lube around them.

"Okay," said Louis, holding up a ruby red sachet, "Cherry." He tore the packet open and squeezed some onto his finger. "Here goes nothing," he announced before licking at the gel. The taste of artificial cherries zipped across his tongue with a tiny hint of something chemical, like plastic. It wasn't awful, it was okay actually, but he couldn't say he'd want to consume much of it.

"Well?" Harry asked, leaning forward.

"It's alright, much better than the strawberry." He squeezed some out onto Harry's outstretched finger. Harry pulled a face as he licked the gel and grabbed his coke, washing the taste away with two long swallows.

Louis chuckled, "I take it the cherry ones are mine then."

"Yep all yours," Harry grimaced. They worked their way through banana, blackcurrent, orange, pina colada, raspberry, bubblegum, candyfloss and chocolate. Harry decided he could tolerate the raspberry and the pina colada. Louis agreed with the raspberry and found he really liked the candyfloss too.

"What's this?" Harry picked up one of the bottles which was orange, "Durex play… _warming_?" He read aloud.

Louis had the grace to blush, "It sounded… interesting," he shrugged, "we don't just have to try flavoured stuff…"

Harry arched an eyebrow at him and then smirked, "get naked Tomlinson." And Louis chose that moment to get shy. Harry found it adorable for about two minutes until he got impatient and stopped Louis's painfully slow unbuttoning by yanking the shirt over his head, definitely busting some buttons.

The "warming" lube was a roaring success Harry decided about fifteen minutes later as Louis arched before him, groaning loudly as he gripped the headboard. Who knew hand jobs could be so much fun to give as well as receive? Then again, it _was_ Louis he was doing this with and Harry couldn't help being amazed by the fact that it was _him_ making Louis feel so good. As it was, Louis looked like Harry's definition of pure sex – all lithe, sweaty, toned, with miles of golden skin and writhing limbs.

"_Harry_…" Louis gasped, "_oh god_… _oh god… mmm… mmm…_"

"Tell me what it feels like," Harry rumbled, liking the warm feeling against his palm and wondering what it must feel like on Louis's dick.

Louis's head tipped back even further, panting for breath, "so… so… good… so warm… tingles… oh fuck… don't stop…"

Harry smirked and, without stopping the movement of his hand, slithered up Louis's body to press sucking kisses to Louis's jaw. Louis arched again with a wail, trying to press into both Harry's hand and his kisses at the same time. Harry could tell that Louis was close, riding so near to the edge. One more push should do it. He stretched up to bite at Louis's ear lope and commanded, "come."

Louis came with a violent jerk and a jumble of swear words. Harry didn't look down but he could feel warm fluid flicking all over his hand. _Wow_, he thought, I did that and yeah, he was probably feeling a little too pleased with himself to be entirely cool.

"Stop looking so smug," Louis croaked a few seconds later and Harry met his eyes with a wicked grin. Louis looked, for lack of more eloquent words, completely fucked out. Oh yeah, Harry was very proud of himself. "You okay?" He couldn't help but ask despite his satisfaction.

Louis's, "yeah, good thanks," sounded giddy but sincere.

Harry chuckled, kissed Louis's slightly stubbled cheek and settled down on his chest - waiting patiently while Louis came down from his high.

"So," Louis cleared his throat a few minutes later, his warm arms wrapping around Harry's back, holding him close, "want me to try that out on you?"

"Actually," Harry grinned, wriggling into the embrace, "how do you fancy trying out that candy floss lick?"

Louis arched an elegant eyebrow, "Is that your way of asking for a blowjob Mr Styles?"

"If it gets me one," Harry replied cheekily, "then yes."

Niall woke up to the soothing feeling of a strong embrace. He rolled over carefully, painfully aware that Liam was still injured. Liam was asleep, his warm breath puffing gently against Niall's collarbone. Niall smiled softly and fingered Liam's fringe out of his eyes, brushing it up against his forehead. Liam was so handsome, he thought, how did he get so lucky? What could he have possibly done that was so good that he deserved someone like him?

"What are you thinking about," Liam murmured without opening his eyes, making Niall jump in surprise. He smiled though and nuzzled in closer, until their noses were touching.

"I was thinking about how much I love you," Niall whispered, "and how lucky I am that you chose me."  
Liam's eyes fluttered open, "Don't be daft…" he murmured, "of course I chose you… and… I'm the one who's lucky, since you somehow manage to put up with my OCD tendencies."

"Big words first thing in the morning…" Niall chuckled, settling a hand on Liam's hip, "my boyfriend is so smart."

"Ugh…" Liam groaned, pressing Niall's hand harder to his hip, "do you know how much I want to have sex with you right now."

Niall laughed louder, in pleased surprise, "not until you're fit and healthy again Mr," he said, poking at his boyfriend's chest.

Liam sighed dramatically, rolling onto his back "That'll take forever! Can't we have just a little but of fun, just to take the edge off. _Please_?"

Niall chuckled and shook his head, "Liam Payne begging me for sex, nobody would believe it."

"Is that a yes?" Liam looked so hopeful that Niall didn't stand a chance.

"What do you propose?" He asked carefully.

Liam smirked and stiffly rolled over backwards until he was face down on the bed, his arse raising the bedclothes suggestively.

"Are you sure?" Niall asked dubiously, instantly understanding what Liam was suggesting.

Liam looked around and smiled, "_Yes_. So long as you don't mind doing most of the work?"

"I don't mind at all," said Niall, with a sheepish grin, "but… uh…" he scratched the nape of his neck, "I don't actually have anything on me."

"Good job I came prepared then," said Liam with a wink. "There should be some lube and condoms in my coat." Niall laughed and rolled out of bed to fetch them. "Oh," said Liam, suddenly remembering, "we need to stock up again soon. Nearly had to bring the strawberry stuff until I remembered the secret stash down the back of the sofa."

Harry woke up feeling hot and sticky and intimately entangled around heavy limbs – limbs too heavy to be a girl's. Too _hard_ to be a girl's too and Harry smiled into his pillow when he felt that it's wasn't just the limbs that were hard. Oh yeah, he could feel just how happy Louis was to be cuddled around him. He was also rather impressed as since last night they must have gotten each other off no less than six times. Sure they were young, with good stamina, but six times in one night was a record for Harry. He was even more impressed when he felt himself responding now, despite still feeling a little tender and sleepy. He reached for Louis's hand – which was hanging limply over his chest – and brought it up to his mouth to kiss the knuckles. He felt Louis stir behind him with a sleepy groan.

"Morning," he murmured, kissing Louis's knuckles again.

"Nmmm… mor… ning," Louis mumbled. He shifted, like he was trying to get comfortable enough to fall back to sleep again. However, his movement pressed his groin into the crease of Harry's backside and Harry couldn't help but groan and press back – it was possibly one of the most intimate of sensations Harry had felt ever. It left him feeling instantly hot and shaky and turned on. Although, he knew neither of them was at all ready to go all the way yet but…

"_Harry…?_"

"Mmm?"

"What… you… doing?"

"I don't know," he murmured, rocking his hips experimentally. Maybe just the friction would be enough…? At first the brushing between them was pleasurable but it quickly became uncomfortable, more for Louis than Harry though because of the dry slide of skin. Harry reached out to the bedside table and snagged one of the bottles, pressing it into Louis's hand. Louis took it and a few seconds later things were much better, even more so when Louis reached forward with a slippery hand and gripped Harry, jacking him off in time to the thrusts of his hips.

"Do you think we should go and wake them?" Niall sighed, flopping back in the booth and smiling brightly as Liam's hand squeezed his thigh.

"Rather you than me," Zayn muttered, pulling a face, "If Liam's right, they probably can't stop shagging after waiting so many years."

"_Zayn_," Myra hissed, smacking his arm and glancing around at the other tables nervously. But nobody seemed to be listening.

"It's alright," Liam chuckled, nodding towards the doors, "they're here."

Myra, Niall and Zayn looked around to see Louis and Harry walking towards them, both blushing and looking extremely pleased with themselves. Liam bit down on his smile as he saw Harry holding on to Louis's wrist – making it look like he was leading/dragging him when it was more a prelude to holding his hand.

"About time," said Niall, rolling his eyes, "You know it's only an hour until the car arrives?"

"Sorry, we slept in," Louis croaked neutrally, which would have been believable if the tips of his ears hadn't been so red.

"You coming down with a cold?" Myra asked, concerned at the hoarseness of Louis's voice.

Louis went bright red, which was surprising in itself as Louis didn't get embarrassed very easily, "Um no… uh… need a drink – just thirsty."

One look a Harry's smug expression told Liam more than he needed to know and he put his face in his hands trying to get the image out of his head. Now he knew why the others always groaned if he and Niall over-shared with details.

"So guys," he said, after dropping his hands and clearing his throat, "in all seriousness, you two official?"

Harry and Louis shared a private glance before looking away from each other, "Yeah," said Harry, nodding a little breathlessly.

"But, it's on the down low for now?" Liam guessed.

"Yeah," Louis nodded, fiddling with the cuff of his sleeve, "if you guys don't mind. We'd like some time to get comfortable before we tell the fans."

"What about family?" Niall asked.

"Um…" Harry looked to Louis who shrugged, "I guess we'll tell who we need to when we need to… if we need to."


	7. Chapter 7

**Three months later… in their new house in St John's Wood**

"Honey, I'm home!" Louis yelled out as he opened the kitchen door and spotted Harry making tea.

Harry gasped, both in fright and delight – nearly dropping teabags all over the floor. He dropped the caddy noisily onto the counter and strode towards his boyfriend, meeting him with a long overdue kiss.

"Ugh, seriously," Zayn made a face as he walked into the kitchen behind them. "Can't you two do that in your own room?"

Harry groaned in frustration and pulled away from Louis, after only getting a few seconds of lip contact, "How can we when we don't have a door! It's been four weeks Zayn! FOUR weeks and yet this replacement door has not appeared. WHY?"

"Whoa!" Louis soothed, wrapping his arms around Harry's waist, "calm down love, it won't be for much longer." He nuzzled into Harry's neck, trying to act composed even though he was feeling just as irritated. It had been way, _way_ too long since he'd got a decent snog from his boyfriend let alone an orgasm. Something always seemed to go wrong and prevented them from any kind of intimacy. It was almost worse than all their interrupted kisses pre-getting together.

"Don't tell me to calm down!" Harry growled, "He broke our door and now he's complaining about seeing us kiss in the kitchen. Well, I'm sick of people telling us not to do this and not to do that! If I want to kiss my boyfriend I damn well will! Where I want, when I want!"

"Hey," Zayn held up his hands, a little alarmed by Harry's outburst, "I didn't…"

"Honey, Harry's just sexually frustrated," said Myra, joining them in the kitchen as she pulled on her coat, "he and Louis haven't had any time together for weeks. Leave them alone and let them kiss if they want to – especially since it's your fault they don't have a bedroom door. Anyway, we better get going to the airport," she looked to Harry and Louis, "give us a call if Niall and Liam phone you before we get there. You know what planes are like, they're as likely to be early as they are late."

Louis nodded at her. Niall and Liam were due back from their week's holiday in Las Vegas today. It was a short break Niall had planned to celebrate Liam losing his crutches. Liam had been ecstatic with the surprise and ridiculously excited to be going to Las Vegas. Louis had never taken Liam for that sort of guy but Liam had seemed genuinely thrilled about staying at MGM on the Las Vegas strip. As well as feeling a tad jealous, Louis couldn't help but wonder if Niall had anything else planned, like asking that question he was going to ask Liam before the accident. Niall hadn't said anything more on the subject, hadn't even hinted, but Louis was hoping his friend had done it anyway. If anyone deserved to be happy it was Niall and Liam. He just wished that Harry and himself could get a moment to enjoy each other too.

The three months they'd been together had passed by in a flash. So far only the band plus Myra, Simon and their bodyguards knew. Neither of them had told their families yet. It wasn't so much that they feared rejection or backlash but more the fact that they would be putting their emotions on the line for everyone to see in ways that weren't as simple as bringing home a new girlfriend. It wasn't just a case of introducing a boyfriend either, it was introducing the fact that they might be gay and the person they were bringing home was more than likely 'the one'. That was scary enough for _them_ to try and comprehend let alone telling other people, particularly the people they loved the most. With the lads there were no words necessary; the guys had guessed, understood and approved. With Simon and the bodyguards it was purely professional and very few emotions were necessary. But with family, it was personal and emotional and it made their relationship much more vulnerable simply because it was family. However, it wasn't just hiding it from the family that was eating at Louis, it was also starting to frustrate him that he still had to be so careful about how he and Harry appeared in public in front of the fans. Sometimes he just wanted to grab Harry and plant one hell of a snog on him in front of everyone and be done with it. But he knew deep down that they, and the band, weren't ready yet to announce the change in their relationship. Simon had been okay about it, thankfully – only letting out a long weary sigh and warning them not to get caught by the press until they were ready to come out.

So all in all, with hiding, a lack of a bedroom door and people interrupting them at every opportunity, Louis and Harry hadn't had any alone time together for one long month. After two months of constant touching, kissing and blowjobs, going cold turkey was like a living hell. That was why, the moment the front door closed, Harry launched himself at Louis again and Louis caught him with a groan of relief, lifting his boyfriend up and sitting him on the edge of the table, kissing him hard.

"Hello? Anyone home?" Mrs Tomlinson's voice rang out through the living room just as the kitchen door opened. Harry and Louis broke apart quickly, both feeling close to frustrated tears.

"_Louis_?" They both jumped and looked at the kitchen door. "Were you just kissing Harry?" Louis sprung away from the table and stared at one of his youngest sisters in horror. Daisy, who was almost a teen now, stared back at him in wide eyed surprise.

"Uh…" he hesitated, trying to gauge how much she had seen and whether he could lie successfully or not.

"MUM! Louis was kissing Harry!" She yelled out suddenly, sounding way _too_ excited. Both Louis and Harry cringed and Louis's heart started thumping fast. He wasn't ready for this. Not right now.

"_What_?" Mrs Tomlinson's head poked around the door. She couldn't miss the embarrassment and horror on both her son's and Harry's faces and knew Daisy was telling the truth. "What's this?" She asked cautiously, stepping around the door.

"Um…" Louis hesitated again.

"They were kissing!" Daisy squealed pointing at them, just as two of Louis's other sisters walked in behind their mum. "And were quite into it too. Harry had his hands on Louis's bum."

"Daisy!" Louis groaned, wishing she would just shut up. "We weren't kissing, Mum," he lied. "Harry poked himself in the eye and I was just…"

"Kissing it better?" She supplied dryly. All the girls laughed as both Louis and Harry went bright red. "Girls," she said calmly, "can you give me a few minutes please?" They nodded and left the kitchen – Daisy having to be dragged away by her twin. Louis stared up at his mum nervously. He had never, ever indicated to her that he had had feelings towards Harry or towards any guy before. He had no idea how she was going to react to having an effectively gay son. Since he was her only son, this could be a big deal.

She took a step forward, "is it true then?" She looked between them, "are you together?"

Louis bit his lip and nodded, once. She smiled and walked over, throwing her arms around his surprised shoulders and pulling him into a hug, "About time! I was beginning to despair!"

Louis let out a shuddering breath of relief and clutched her back. "You knew?" He croaked.

"I've suspected for years," she nodded, kissing his temple, "haven't I, Harry?"

Louis pulled back sharply and stared at his boyfriend and Harry gave him a sheepish smile and nodded.

Zayn and Myra arrived home about an hour and a half later with Niall and Liam, just a few minutes after Louis's mum and sisters had left.

"That's the lads back!" Harry shouted. He couldn't help but grin adoringly as he heard Louis squeak in excitement in the kitchen and dash back through into the living room.

"What are you so excited about?" He asked in amusement, turning around, "it's only been a week since you last saw them. Go and put the kettle on, idiot."

Myra was the first one back into the house, rubbing her gloved fingers together and shivering, "it's freezing out there," she announced, rushing over to the radiator.

Zayn stamped through the door and dropped the keys on the shelf, "Eight pounds fifty bloody five to park for half an hour!" He grumbled, "It's bloody daylight robbery."

Louis came hurrying back through just as Liam and Niall heaved their suitcases through the front door. They looked different Harry thought immediately, somehow _older_ – more mature. Both were swaddled in long coats, scarves and gloves, looking like they'd just walked off a Marks and Spencers winter cat-walk but the change wasn't in their clothes, it was in their faces. They looked… _settled_? Was that the right word.

Liam arched an expectant eyebrow at Harry, "Well, don't we get a hug or something?"

"Not until you take your gloves off," said Louis quickly, appearing out of nowhere. Everyone looked around at him in surprise, particularly Liam. It was a rather odd thing to command, Harry thought, and he was used to Louis saying really odd things but this one was… even odder for him. Harry watched in confusion as something passed between Liam and Louis that he couldn't understand and then suddenly Liam's eyes widened, "You know?" He gasped.

Louis face broke into a ridiculously wide grin and he fist pumped the air before replying, "I had a feeling. He really did it then?" Louis looked towards Niall, who was blushing, although it was in a pleased way. Okay, Harry was _more_ than confused now.

"What's going on?" He asked, looking between the three of them, "What did Louis know? What did Niall do? What's going on?"

Liam bit his lip, shared a quick glance at Niall, who nodded at him, before slowly pulling off his left glove. It took Harry a few seconds to see it and then he got the shock of his life. "Oh my god!" He breathed, moving forward, "did you two get _engaged_?"

"Yes," Liam nodded, his smile leaking around where his teeth were pressing into his bottom lip.

It happened in the space of a second. Louis, Harry and Zayn let out loud cries of disbelief and delight and launched towards the couple, pinning Niall and Liam back into wall with the biggest group hug One Direction had ever had. Liam and Niall laughed and tried to lean into all the hugs and kisses they were getting.

"So you approve?" Liam asked, almost tentatively, when the initial celebrating had calmed down.

"Of course!" Harry nodded eagerly. _Wow_, he could hardy believe it, Niall and Liam were engaged!

"Hang on," said Louis seriously. They all paused and looked at him in surprise again, especially since he was frowning. Harry couldn't believe for a second that Louis had any problem with the engagement, especially as Louis had seemed so excited before the hug. He tilted his head in confusion when saw that Louis was staring at Liam's hand. Harry stared at it too but couldn't see what was making Louis frown like that.

"What is it Louis?" Liam asked carefully.

"That ring… no offence but that ring doesn't look like an engagement ring…" then he sucked in a breath and his head shot up to meet Liam's level gaze. "Niall," he said slowly before turning his head to their Irish friend, "Niall, take _your_ glove off." Niall blinked, not so much in confusion but more in surprise, like he hadn't expected Louis to realise. Harry was completely lost now. He watched, bewildered, as Niall licked his lips and slowly, very slowly, pulled his glove off.

"Oh my god!" Louis breathed, "you got _married_, you bastards!"

Harry blinked. _What_? _No way_. Then Niall held his hand up and there was a silver band on his left hand, exactly the same as Liam's.

"Holy mother of God," Harry gasped in astonishment, completely floored, "but h…h…how? I didn't think America allowed gay marriage."

"They do in some states," said Louis faintly, "but you have to be a resident there."

"We… uh… flew up to Vancouver for a night," Niall admitted.

"_Canada_?" Harry choked.

"Yeah," Niall nodded, looking nervous now.

"You sneaky, sneaky bastards," said Louis faintly.

"How on Earth did you go from getting engaged one day to getting married the next? And why weren't we invited?" cried Zayn in complete bewilderment.

Liam looked to Niall helplessly.  
"Okay, okay, hold the phone lads, let's calm down," said Myra, stepping in, "_I_ want to hear every single romantic detail, like who proposed to who and where and when?"

"I proposed," said Niall, once everyone was sitting down. He and Liam were seated together facing everyone with their hands interlinked.

"How?" Myra asked eagerly, "over dinner? On the steps of the Caesars Palace? In front of the Bellegio Fountains?"

"Actually," Liam smiled, "he did it when we did day trip to the Grand Canyon."

Myra squealed and even Zayn looked rather impressed, "My man, nice," he drawled as he leaned over to share a high five with Niall.

"So did he just ask you or did he drop a ring into a glass of champagne he'd hidden in his jacket? How?" Myra asked, shuffling to the edge of her seat. Even Harry and Louis found themselves leaning forward eagerly.

Niall laughed, "If you're really desperate to know," four heads nodded frantically at him and he shook his head in amusement, "We got a tour flight out to the canyon and let me tell you that was amazing in itself!"

"Yeah," Liam nodded enthusiastically, "you fly over the Hoover Dam-"

"Get to the good part," Louis interrupted, earning an elbow to his ribs from Harry.

Liam and Niall both laughed, "okay," said Niall, "It was the last stop on the tour, Eagle Point. We were sitting down on the rocks, looking down into the canyon and it was amazing. Just… _amazing_. It's so big and makes you feel so small."

He looked to Liam who smiled and nodded and added, "You cannot possibly understand what the view is like unless you've been there. We were just sitting there, side by side, staring downwards when Niall goes to me _Liam_? I was like _hmm_? Too busy looking around like a prat, and he just comes out with _will you marry me_?"

"I swear he nearly snapped his neck looking around so quickly," Niall chuckled.

"I thought I must have misheard him," Liam admitted, blushing a little, "but then he slowly stood up, reached into his pocket and knelt down."

"I should add here," said Niall, grinning and blushing a little, "that Liam kept muttering _oh my god oh my god_ as I was doing it."

"Give me a break," Liam chuckled, ducking his head, "I was completely shocked. I never saw it coming! I certainly never imagined you to get down on one knee and hand me a ring."

Harry couldn't help but melt a little at the expression on Niall's face as he looked at Liam. It was pure adoration. He idly wondered if he ever looked at Louis like that. He figured he probably did.

"So what happened next, after you got down on one knee, Niall?" Myra asked.

Without looking away from Liam, Niall replied, "I got down on one knee, held out the ring in my palm," Liam pulled a chain out from under his shirt where a slim silver ring with tiny blue sapphires studded into the metal hung, "and said something along the lines of…"

"Liam, this year, particularly the accident," Liam recited, staring right back at Niall, "has made it clear to me what's important. I nearly lost you and the thing I worried about most, apart from you dying, was you dying and not knowing how much you are loved, especially by me. Because I _do_ love you, _so_ much and I've learned the hard way that I really don't want to live without you by my side - because you make everything, good and bad, completely worthwhile. I'm proud of what we are and what we've become. I love you and I will _always_ love you and I would like to declare it in the eyes of the law and in front of God and make it official. That is why I'm asking you, here and now, will you marry me?"

"You remember it word for word?" Niall breathed, looking dangerously close to tears.

"Of course," Liam replied softly, thumbing his cheek tenderly, "those are the most amazing words anyone's ever said to me in my life. I am never going to forget a single one."

"Oh god," Myra whimpered, shakily wiping at her eyes with her hands, "that is the sweetest thing _ever_." Harry bit his lip, agreeing, and looked to Louis, who was staring determinedly up at the ceiling - he eyes glinting suspiciously. Harry slid his hand into Louis's and squeezed, smiling as Louis's head lowered and he squeezed his hand back, interlocking their fingers.

"So how did you go from proposing to getting married? And why do it so secretly?" Zayn asked again, looking a little put out that Niall and Liam hadn't let them witness the occasion too.

"Well," said Liam carefully, "that was more of a coincidence than an actual plan. We got chatting to a guy and his family from the tour, who happened to notice my ring. They were from Vancouver and Jack was a minister for the Unitarian Church. They were heading home the next day and, to cut a long story short, he offered to marry us – as in _marry_ not just give us a civil partnership. It really took us by surprise. I mean, we'd only just got engaged, I still hadn't even wrapped my head around that! But how many times do you get that kind of offer handed to you just like that? We would both have been happy to settle for a civil partnership here in Britain but to _marry_ in the eyes of a church…?"

Everyone suddenly understood. The church was important to Niall. Okay, so maybe he wasn't exactly a stoically devote Catholic or Protestant but he believed enough in God to want God's blessing over his marriage. Canada, it seemed, was the only place on Earth where God truly treated everyone like an equal - where a marriage was a marriage and not just a partnership.

"We talked it over that night" said Liam, smiling at Niall softly and taking his hand, "and agreed that we both preferred the idea of getting married quietly rather than the daunting business of standing up in front of our family and friends. We also agreed that we probably wouldn't get the chance to get married quietly again – certainly not without the press suspecting. So we booked last minute flights to Canada leaving the Wednesday night. Got married Thursday morning and were back in Las Vegas by dinner time."

"Wow," Myra breathed, "who were your witnesses?"

Niall chuckled, "Jack's wife and the taxi driver."

"The _taxi driver_?" Zayn blanched.

Liam laughed, "I know but he was just finishing his shift and knew the Minister. He was really nice about it. He even sprayed 'Just Married' on the back of the taxi and drove us to a hotel for free."

**A week and a half later…**

Jaden wailed, tears scudding down his cheeks as he wriggled on the mat. "Come on," Zayn pleaded, "give me a break here. You never cry when Akeisha does this, so why do you fuss when I do it?"

"Because you're trying to put it on the wrong way round," said Louis quietly, stepping into the room. Zayn glanced back at him and saw Harry skulking in the shadows. "Here, let me?" Louis asked tentatively.

Zayn nodded and stepped back, letting Louis up to the changing table. "Hey Jay-_den_ Louis cooed pulling away the nappy Zayn had been trying to put on. The moment the nappy was gone Jaden stopped wailing but continued to whimper. Louis smiled down at him and wrapped a towel loosely around the child's body before picking him up and resting him against his chest - gently rocking him. Jaden sniffled into his shirt and started sucking his thumb. "There now," Louis soothed, "all better? See nothing to cry about, it's okay." He pressed a kiss to Jaden's forehead. "Now, let's try again at putting that nappy on." Jaden whimpered as Louis put him back down on the table but Louis quickly grabbed Suki, the toy rabbit, and ticked Jaden's stomach with it. Jaden cracked a smile so Louis did it again and then blew a raspberry against the towel himself. Jaden giggled. "Okay, so we need a wipe…" he said and Zayn plucked one of the box, handing it over. Louis quickly wiped Jaden over although Zayn had managed to make a decent job of it. "Cream?" Zayn passed the tub of Sudocrem over with a cotton pad. "Apologies little man," Louis said to Jaden, "this might be a bit cold…" He applied the cream gently but Jaden didn't so much a murmur. "Ah now, that's showing off," Louis remarked with a wink, "not even a little flinch. What a man. Are you sure Zayn's your father?" Zayn swatted his shoulder hard in retaliation and Harry chuckled in the background. "Nappy?" said Louis, clicking his fingers. Zayn shoved a clean one into his waiting hand. "Right, are you watching? The bigger side goes to the back. If you grab his feet like this and lift him up you can slide the nappy into place easily." Zayn nodded. A few seconds later Louis smoothed down the tabs, re-buttoned the suit and lifted Jaden up again. "Ta-da. All done. I guess having sisters thirteen years my junior has paid off." He tried to pass Jaden to Zayn but Zayn smirked and shook his head,

"Oh no. Since you're the expert, you can show me how to feed him _and_ get him off to sleep."

**Three days later…**

Harry, Liam, Niall and Myra were out doing some last minute Christmas shopping leaving Louis and Zayn at home to look after Jaden. Louis would have liked to have gone out with the others but a) Harry had said no, which meant he was probably buying _his_ present and b) Zayn had begged him to stay to help him with Jaden. To be fair, Zayn was learning fast, he just hadn't quite got the confidence to be on his own with Jaden yet. Louis didn't really mind staying – he adored looking after Jaden and, plus, he only had to get a few odds and ends to get for Christmas, which he could buy tomorrow. For once he was organised, which may possibly be a sign of the apocalypse. Liam hadn't believed him either until Louis had showed him the stash of Christmas presents in the wardrobe. Liam had then sat him down on the bed and asked him, in somewhat seriousness, if he was dying. Louis replied by slapping him on the forehead.

Louis was now currently vegging on the couch, eating grapes and watching a pantomime with Martin Clunes on ITV 2. Zayn was at the back table trying to wrap Christmas presents. Jaden was whinging though and Zayn was getting frustrated at not quite knowing what his son was after. He'd tried playing with him, listening to music, putting on Thomas the Tank Engine on his laptop, feeding him, changing his nappy but Jaden just wasn't happy. Louis knew what was wrong but he wanted to see if Zayn could work it out. He kind of longed to just go over there but he knew Zayn needed to learn.

Jaden was currently tugging at Zayn's leg and whimpering. Zayn had just put him down after Jaden had been wriggling around on his lap, not content with sitting there while Zayn worked.

"What _is_ it Jaden?" Zayn sighed, putting down the scissors and shuffling the chair back. "If I pick you up you want down again. If I play with you, you start to whine. You're not hungry nor do you need your nappy changed. So what _do_ you want?"

And with that Jaden started to cry. Louis sighed and got off the couch. "Here," he said, pressing a kiss to Zayn's temple to show that he wasn't trying to take over, "I'll take him if you make me a cup of tea."

Zayn nodded in relief and sighed, massaging his head, "Thanks."

Louis bent down and picked Jaden up, "Come on little man, I think someone needs a nap."

He saw dawning appear on Zayn's face and Louis pressed another kiss to his temple to say _don't worry, you'll learn to read him eventually, I've got your back for now_.

Louis carried Jaden to Zayn's room to get Suki the rabbit and a blanket and the walk seemed to calm Jaden down. They returned to the living room and Louis sat down on the sofa. Jaden wriggled around crankily but Louis determinedly kept a hold of him and pulled off the toddler's jumper so the kid wouldn't get too hot. He then swung his legs up on the couch and cuddled Jaden against his chest, offering Suki as a truce. It took a moment or two but Jaden gave in to the cuddle and put his thumb in his mouth. Louis draped the baby blanket over them and turned back to the TV, he wanted to know if Ed Byrne manages to save Patsy Kensit from Martin Clunes' evil lair. He just wished the genie was played by someone other than Julian Clary – Louis really wasn't a fan of his. Don't get him wrong, he liked a dirty joke as much as the next guy but Clary's brand of double-entendre humour was uncomfortably filthy and not very funny – particularly in a _pantomime_.

"Harry!" Liam hissed excitedly, "you've got to see this. But ssssh!" Harry kicked off his shoes and dropped his bags by the door before walking into the living room where Liam was beckoning him. He raised an eyebrow in question and Liam pointed to the couch "Isn't that just the most adorable sight _ever_," he whispered.

Harry rounded the sofa and his insides instantly turned into mush. He may even have actually whimpered a little at the picture. Louis was fast asleep with one hand protectively over Jaden – who was sleeping soundly on his chest – and the other hand holding a half-drunk cup of tea. Adorable didn't even begin to cover it. Something deeply carnal and paternal throbbed low in Harry's abdomen and, much to his embarrassment, he was suddenly painfully hard. Spontaneous hard-ons hadn't happened to him since he was sixteen but he was suddenly incredibly desperate to have sex with Louis. Was this his basic animal instincts telling him to copulate because he was having sudden paternal feelings? Was he really that primitive?

"Steady," Liam soothed knowingly with a low chuckle, throwing an arm over his shoulder, stopping Harry from reaching forward, "don't maul him just yet. But it's a powerful feeling, right?"

"Yeah…" Harry breathed, feeling a little light headed and shocked with himself.

"I was the same the first time I saw Niall holding his baby nephew," Liam admitted, "so let me give you some hard advice."

Harry closed his eyes and swallowed thickly at Liam's use of the word _hard_. He nodded though.

"Remember," said Liam gruffly, squeezing his shoulder, "no matter how hard you fuck him, Louis is a guy so you can't get him pregnant."

Harry's head snapped around so fast in shock that it cracked. There was no way Liam, of all people, had just said _that_. NO WAY. Firstly Liam never used the 'f' word, secondly Liam was hardly ever crude and when he was he blushed like a twelve year old girl and, thirdly, if Liam had said that then he would be admitting to having fucked Niall in a frenzy in the attempt to get him pregnant. Which, in accordance to the first and second points, was wholly impossible and potentially the most disturbing thing Harry had ever heard.

Unfortunately, his mouth had a mind of it's own so, instead of commenting on Liam's disturbing advice in the horror-struck way he should, what came out of his mouth was,

"We haven't fucked yet."

"Oh," Liam looked genuinely surprised and even more surprised at himself when he asked, "why not?"

"Neither of us are ready for that step yet and, plus," Harry's voice softened as he stared down at his beautiful sleeping boyfriend, "I don't think Louis wants to."

Harry suddenly found himself being yanked out of the room and across the hall into the music room. Liam shut the door firmly and turned around to Harry looking dumbfounded and slightly worried.

"You don't think Louis wants to have sex with you?"

Harry shook his head, "No. I mean… not just with me but in general – I don't think he likes the idea of… you know..." Harry blushed.

"It's called _anal sex_," said Liam, rolling his eyes, "you can use the word Harry, it won't kill you." Harry goggled at him; who was this and what had they done with the squeaky clean, innocent Liam Payne that he'd always known. "So what makes you think Louis doesn't want to have anal sex?"

"Stop using that word," Harry wailed, putting his hands over his ears, "you shouldn't know anything about that! Liam Payne is a good innocent man who likes to kiss his boyfriend and that's it!"

Liam burst into laughter, "funny, Harry." But then he caught the edge of disbelief in Harry's eyes and his laughter petered off as his eyes went wide. "Oh my god," he breathed, "you really think that." Then he giggled and threw a hand over his mouth, "Um… Harry… Niall and I have been having anal sex for _over three_ years. In fact, if I'm being honest, we done a hell of a lot more kinkier things than just anal sex."

"Like what?" Harry asked before his brain caught up with his mouth and he backtracked rather hastily, "Actually, please don't tell me. I'm pretty sure I _don't_ want to know! In fact, I'm sure I don't want to know. Do not tell me."

Liam shrugged, "It's nothing too major anyway, a bit of toy play and some light bondage – oh and Niall's got a thing about public places."

Harry gaped, part of him shuddering in horror and another part of him rather impressed. The bigger part of him was just plain staggered Liam would admit to any of that in the first place, "Um… I'm just going to step out the room for a moment," said Harry faintly, indicating the door, "and hopefully I'll step right back into the correct parallel universe I seemed to have left where Liam Payne acts like he's asexual even when there's porn on TV."

Liam rolled his eyes, "oh come on Harry, we're both guys here and we're friends. I'm the person you're supposed to come to when you need to talk about sex. Let's sit down." Harry let Liam lead him over to the small sofa by the window. Niall's guitar was lying across it and Liam put it carefully back on it's stand before sitting down. "So, tell me, why do you think Louis doesn't want to have anal sex?"

Harry shrugged, "Back in summer, when he told me why he had pushed me away all those years ago, he admitted he was afraid to be gay." Liam frowned. "Not afraid of what people would think about him," Harry explained quickly, "but more afraid of the things gay men do. He never actually said the words but I knew he was talking about gay sex. He said he didn't think he could do it and was afraid I'd be disappointed. He was also afraid that if _I_ ever asked him then he would probably do it just to please me, even though he was sure he wouldn't like it. He said he didn't want to be in a relationship where he dreaded the moments he should take pleasure in."

Liam looked surprised and rather pensive, "Do you want to have sex Harry?"

"Um…" Harry blushed, "Honestly? I don't really know. I'd love to have that deep sort of connection with Louis but… it kind of squicks me out a little too. I'm not sure I'd like to be… you know… receiving and, well, I don't know whether giving would be that nice either."

"That's because you've never tried it," said Liam quietly. "I was the same as you before my first time. In fact, I was determined I would not like it because I was desperate not to be gay. I had some stupid notion that if I didn't like anal sex then I couldn't be gay."

"But I thought you were really into Niall when you two first started going out? You didn't seem to have any problems with the idea of being gay back then. You should have talked to us!"

Liam smiled, pleased to hear Harry would have been supportive, but there was something his friend needed to realise, "Harry, my first time wasn't actually with Niall."

Harry's eyes widened, "_What_? But Louis said you didn't want to get with Niall because you were afraid you weren't gay." Liam seemed to understand that Harry was referring to Niall and Liam's first fling at Matt's Christmas party all those years ago.

"That was true," Liam nodded, "But how do you think I got to be okay enough to start seeing Niall?"

Harry's eyes widened, "no way," he whispered, "who was it?"

"Do you really want to know?"

Harry nodded, holding his breath, he couldn't believe this. Liam had been seeing a guy before he started seeing Niall and hadn't told them?

"We didn't exactly date…" Liam hesitated, "we were good friends and we had some harmless fun. He helped me discover who I was and see that Niall was who I wanted to be with. He was also my first and I don't regret it in the slightest."

"_Who_ was it?" Harry asked again.

"It was Joe."

Harry's eyes widened, "_McElderry_?"

Liam nodded, biting his lip.

"You had sex with Joe McElderry before getting together with Niall," Harry repeated out loud, "Holy shit! Seriously, I don't know you anymore. _Jesus_… does Niall know?"

Liam chuckled, "it would be awkward if he didn't since I was there when Niall had his first time with Joe."

Harry's mouth fell open, "_what_?"

"Listen, we're getting side-tracked here. The point is, I really didn't think I'd like it until I tried it. I'm not going to lie, it's quite uncomfortable to begin with, might even hurt, and you probably won't come the first time but… when you get the hang of it… it's one of the most amazing feelings in the world."

"That's it? That's your attempt to convince me to having sex with Louis?" Harry said incredulously.

"What more can I say," Liam shrugged, "you won't get what you're missing until you've tried it. And there are few words to describe how amazing it is. All I'll say is that it's worth it. Very worth it. Now, why don't you go back through to the living-room and wake up your boyfriend. I daresay dinner won't be too far away and we both know how cranky Louis gets if he has to eat before he's had time to fully wake-up. Plus, I'll keep everyone downstairs if you and Louis want some time alone _upstairs_. It's ridiculous Zayn still hasn't got your door fixed – it's a door, how long does it take a carpenter to build it, even if it is a period piece?"

Harry's eyes widened in hope, "Seriously, you'll keep everyone downstairs?"

"Yeah," Liam smiled, "go and have some fun. Just… keep the noise down okay? It's one thing to know you're at it, it's another thing to hear it."

Harry grabbed Liam's face and pressed a sloppy kiss on his cheek, "I love you."

Liam laughed, wiped at his cheek, and ushered his friend out of the room.

**Christmas morning…**

"IT'S CHRISTMAS!" Niall yelled, throwing their new door open so it bounced off the wall and then proceeded to jump up on to their bed. Harry and Louis jerked awake with a start. Niall bounced twice, nearly standing on Louis, before announcing loudly, "Be downstairs in twenty, Zayn's just getting Jaden up – present time!" Then he was bouncing out the room.

Louis whimpered and curled into Harry's chest while Harry, a little shell shocked, wrapped his arms around him and groaned, "Do you think he'll _ever_ grow out of that?"

"Probably not," Louis murmured, closing his eyes again and enjoying Harry's warm embrace, ready to drop off again. Harry had other ideas though.

"Louis?"

"Hmm."

"There's… uh… something I want to give you before we go downstairs."

Louis opened his eyes again as he heard the nervous note in Harry's voice. He slowly pushed himself up so that he was leaning on his elbow, looking down into Harry's face. "What is it?" He asked softly, cupping Harry's jaw and smoothing his thumb over his slightly rough cheek. He didn't like the idea of Harry being nervous around him.

"Um…" Harry bit his lip before replying, "it's probably a bit lame and if you don't like it I can take it back…"

"Whatever it is," Louis interrupted kindly, "I'm sure I'll love it."

"It's just…" Harry licked his lips and his right hand slipped up to rest over Louis's against his cheek, holding it there, staring up into Louis's gorgeous blue eyes. "Ever since Liam and Niall came back from Vegas, I can't get Niall's words out of my head. You know when he said he was scared that Liam might have died not knowing how much he was loved, especially by Niall?"

"Mmmhmm…" Louis nodded cautiously, not sure where this was going.

"Well, I know we're no where near ready to get married yet," said Harry, his voice shaking a little, "but I don't want you to have a single doubt about how much I love you. So…" he let go of Louis's hand and reached up to dig under his pillow. He pulled something small out of the lining and clenched it in his fist. "I want to make you a promise. A promise that I have no doubts whatsoever that this is it for me even though we're still not completely used to the whole gay thing yet. I love you - so much that it hurts sometimes and I want you to know I would do anything for you – anything you asked no matter how much it might hurt me. I also want you to know that I fully plan on proposing in about a year or two. But, until then, I _promise_ I will love and cherish you, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, particularly in sickness and even more in health until we're ready to vow it officially. And… that's what this promise ring symbolises" He opened his first and held out an intricately wrought silver Celtic band.

**Fifteen minutes later…**

Liam looked around as the floorboards creaked as someone entered the kitchen. He started to smile at Louis but then stopped when he saw how red and swollen his eyes were. "Hey, are you alright?" He asked, concerned, and moved towards his friend. Louis licked his lips and his face suddenly cracked into the biggest, albeit watery, smile Liam had ever seen, "Never been better." It was contradicted by his eyes filling with tears and threatening to spill over.

"Hug?" Liam asked, holding out his arms, a little confused by Louis's mood. Was he happy or sad? Louis stepped into the hug and wrapped his arms around Liam's back. Liam rested his chin on the top of Louis's head and rocked them a little, "You sure everything's okay?" He murmured.

"Yeah," Louis sniffed, "kind of perfect to be honest. Don't mind me, I'm just being a girl."

"You sure?" Liam pulled back and looked into Louis's face, which somehow looked happy despite the tear tracks flowing down his cheeks.

Louis nodded, "Harry just said some amazing things to me and, like I said, I'm just being a girl."

Liam chuckled and pressed a kiss to Louis's forehead, "that's okay then. Want a cup of tea?"

"Please," Louis nodded, swiping the back of his hand over his cheeks.

Liam continued to put spoonfuls of instant coffee and tea bags into a variety of different cups. It was almost instinctual now; coffee for Niall with milk and one sugar, coffee for Zayn with just milk, tea with a dash of milk for Myra, coffee for Harry with milk and two sugars, tea with milk and one sugar for himself and tea with just milk for Louis. He absently passed the latter mug to his friend and would have missed it had it not caught the ceiling light and reflected in the kitchen window. He turned slightly, staring out the corner of his eye at Louis's hands clasped around the mug. On his right hand was a silver band. Aside from the fact it looked shiny new, Liam knew Louis never wore rings unless specifically told to by the costume department. It wasn't hard then to figure out; shiny new silver band, said band on Louis's _right_ ring finger, Louis so emotional from something Harry had said to him, Harry disappearing to Hatton Garden while they were out shopping… Harry had given Louis a promise ring. Liam couldn't help but smile and, when Louis wasn't looking, he fist-pumped the air, it was about bloody time! He only hoped it wouldn't be too long until that ring was on the other hand. He reached out and wrapped an arm around Louis's shoulders, pulling him sideways into him, "By the way, Merry Christmas."

Louis chuckled, "Merry Christmas to you too."

The doorbell rang out in the hall, "I guess that'll be Akeisha and her sister," Liam said with a smile, letting Louis go, "I suppose we better get into the living-room - I don't think Zayn would forgive us if we missed his first Christmas morning with Jaden."

They grabbed three mugs each and headed through to the living room where everyone was already seated. Liam held back a moment and watched Louis hand Myra her tea before making his way over to the couch Harry was sitting on. Louis handed him his coffee and then sat down beside him, careful not to spill his tea and curling his feet under himself. Harry lifted his arm and Louis leaned in, smiling when Harry tugged him closer and they shared a soft kiss.

This was how it should have been five years ago, Liam thought a little sadly, but at least they were here now. With that, he placed Zayn's coffee on the table and went stand with his husband, sighing happily and Niall automatically threw an arm around him, kissing his cheek.

**The Sun**

LIAM AND NIALL MARRY IN VANCOUVER

The boys admit they've been in a relationship for 3 years!

**The Daily Mail**

SECRETLY MARRIED: LIAM AND NIALL

Niall Horan and Liam Payne elope while on secret holiday to Canada!

**Gay Times**

Recently married couple, Liam and Niall Horan-Payne, voted hottest gay couple of the year! See pages 42-49 for never seen before pictures of the couple…

**Glamour**

Exclusive First Interview with Niall and Liam! The lads talk secret weddings, relationships, fans and _sex_

**The Sunday Mail**

ZAYN MALIK HAS ILLEGITIMATE CHILD

**The Sun**

ZAYN MALIK FATHER TO 18 MONTH OLD BOY

Myra and Zayn show united front despite shocking news

**Heat Magazine**

Zayn (Malik) and girlfriend spotted in Mothercare. Buying for Jaden or is someone pregnant?

**Closer Magazine**

Myra Lowe sports small bump at music awards. Pregnancy rumours double...

**Star Magazine**

Hold onto your ovaries ladies! Louis (Tomlinson) and Harry (Styles) from One Direction were spotted yesterday playing with their band-mate's (Zayn) son in Hyde Park. Wouldn't they make the most gorgeous dads?

**Heat Magazine**

CONFIRMED. Myra Lowe IS pregnant. She and boyfriend Zayn Malik (One Direction) are expecting their first child together in September. Malik has another child to an unidentified American woman…

**Closer Magazine**

Something you're not tell us lads? Louis (Tomlinson) and Harry (Styles) from One Direction snapped holding hands leaving Echo, fuelling rumours _again_ that they are together.

**Twitter**

1D92Fan Emma Gillies

Sue21MDew jackieluvssean OMG OMG OMG OMG I SWEAR I JUST SAW HARRY AND LOUIS KISSING!

1 minute ago

Sue21MDrew Sue Meldrew

1D92Fan jackieluvssean Sure you did love... where are you and should I phone a taxi?

15 seconds ago

1D92Fan Emma Gillies

Sue21MDew jackieluvssean I'm at The Cube! One Direction are here! I swear! I was trying to find the toilets and when I walked around a corner they were kissing in the shadows!

2 minutes ago

jackieluvssean Jacqueline Moffat

1D92Fan Sue21MDrew HOLY SHIT. They _are_ at the Cube! They're talking about it over on the forum – pictures too! No kissing mentioned yet though :(

32 seconds ago

Sue21MDrew Sue Meldrew

1D92Fan jackieluvssean OMG Emma are you sure it was them that were kissing?

45 seconds ago

1D92Fan Emma Gillies

Sue21MDew jackieluvssean POSITIVE! They pulled away from each other very quickly tho but they looked so embarrassed! Fdksjfhj! So excited!

1 minute ago

**Livejournal**

**.com/1DGOSSIP**

**LiallIZreal**

2019-04-15 11:26 pm

OMG you guys, you should check out twitter just now. Some girl thinks she saw Harry and Louis kissing at The Cube. Shit-stirrer anyone?

**Jemmy21**

2019-04-15 11:28 pm

No way! Some people are so delusional. I bet she said they were hiding in a corner and it was only her who saw them and she didn't have time to take a picture?

**Kdg _boston**

2019-04-15 11:31 pm

LOL at your snarky scepticism bb! Agree though. What's the likelihood that some random girl would walk in on them kissing in a public place? The rumours have been circulating for years and yet nobody has caught them before… I think she's either starting shit for some attention or was so drunk she mistook a girl for Harry lol!

**Lolly_Poppysocks**

2019-04-15 11:35 pm

Snort!

**Hot_Javacakes**

2019-04-15 11:35 pm

Sure she saw them kissing and Harry's Mick Jagger's son!

**Anonymous**

2019-04-15 11:40pm

Ha, stupid bitch is now complaining because people are linking to her Twitter and calling her bluff. What does she expect if she's posting on a public forum!

**Hot_Javacakes**

2019-04-15 11:43 pm

Holy crap! People are actually tweeting Harry and Louis to tell them what the crazy girl is saying! :S FOURTH WALL PEOPLE!

**Kb_9**

2019-04-15 11:44 pm

flailgdfsguhgbgajdj! THE SHIT IS GOING DOWN ON TWITTER RIGHT NOW!

**Anonymous**

2019-04-15 11:48 pm

The girl has deleted her Twitter account! Lying bitch.

**15th April 2019 The Cube**

Harry squirmed on his stool, only half listening to what Zayn was saying. Liam noticed and glanced down the bar to where Harry was staring: Louis. He smirked and nudged Harry's elbow. "He looks good tonight, doesn't he." Harry swallowed thickly and nodded.

They both watched as Louis leaned over the counter. His boot-cut jeans rode low on his hips, flashing a tantalising strip of his toned stomach as he stretched forwards. Almost seductively, he slipped a hand into his back pocket, pulled out a twenty pound note and handed it over to the bar-maid. A few moments later he sat back, lifted a bottle of Magners to his mouth and wrapped his lips around the top. As Louis swallowed a few long mouthfuls, the sweat sliding enticingly down the green glass to his nimble fingers, a million filthy images ran through Harry's head. He knew just how hard those pouty little lips around the bottle top could suck… the way Louis would stare up at him, those long delicate eyelashes fluttering over peeking blue orbs. Harry groaned quietly and adjusted his jeans. Stupid gorgeous boyfriend.

He couldn't stop watching though, eyes half-lidded. Louis's mouth left the bottle and, even over the thumping music, Harry could make out the _pop_. He whimpered, suddenly achingly hard and nearly slid off his seat. Liam held him steady though, chuckling in his ear about horny new couples. Harry just hoped Liam didn't move his hand any further around his hip otherwise he'd find out just how horny Harry was right now. It could be embarrassing for them both.

Louis, he now saw, was sauntering towards them, five drinks balanced in his clever hands. Harry's stomach flipped, Louis looked ridiculously hot tonight and he just wanted to get his hands on him. The light grey fitted shirt Louis wore, with half-length sleeves and three popped buttons at the top, showed a delectable amount of toned chest that Harry just wanted to lean forward and lick. It was _sooooooooooo_ goddamned unfair that his boyfriend looked like sex personified and he couldn't do anything about it because they were in public. Next time, Harry was making sure Louis wore something baggy and ugly. Then again… Louis looked gorgeous in practically anything and Harry could never keep his hands to himself these days…

"Alright lads, heads up," Louis announced as he put the bottles down on the counter and zipped two beers down towards Niall's and Zayn's waiting hands. He then passed Liam the Blue WKD and Harry a bottle of Stella. Harry had barely time to remind himself they were in public when Louis he got all up in his personal space, literally radiating heat and lithe muscle and then… winked. Harry's dick twitched.

Oh hell. Not only had Louis the sheer audacity to dress like pure sin but now he was teasing him too? God, he had to go and cool down. Like right now. Before he did anything they'd both regret. He slid off his seat and made a beeline towards the toilets. But he got no more than two steps away before Louis grabbed at his wrist and swung him around.

"You alight?" He called out over the music, frowning. _As if_ he didn't know.

Harry tugged on Louis's hand, yanking him forward so that Louis's chest collided with his. Louis let out a short breath and Harry rolled his hips. He saw startled understanding dawn instantly on his boyfriend's face. Then the gorgeous bastard _smirked_. Harry let Louis take a step backwards. But, instead of giving him some space, Louis sidled forward so they were hip to hip and drew Harry's head down to purr in his ear, "What's got you so hot and bothered?" The teasing note to his voice did nothing to help Harry's indelicate situation.

Turning his head so he could lean in towards Louis's ear, Harry purred back, "Just you." He smirked when he felt Louis shiver and, despite the dim lighting, he could see his boyfriend's eyes darken with desire. Harry bent down again, "Do you have any idea how much I want to bend you over that bar and have my wicked way with you?"

Louis's eyes closed briefly and Harry felt rather than heard the muffled groan. Then Louis was stepping back and grabbing his wrist roughly, dragging him towards the toilets.

The ones hidden behind the cloakroom were out of order, which was perfect. Making sure nobody was looking, they ducked under the tape and pushed the door open. It was definitely empty inside. Once the door was firmly shut behind them, Louis pulled Harry around and kissed him hard. As always, his mouth was hot and wet. Harry groaned, sinking his hands into Louis's hair and gripped tight. Louis tasted sharply of apple from the Magners and Harry took a few moments to lick it out of him. Then, not wanting to take any chances, he marched them blindly backwards until they were in the disabled stall and slammed the cubicle door shut, fumbling with the lock. Louis moaned and slid his hands up Harry's shirt, caressing his hips. Harry pulled his lips from Louis's and trailed them down his boyfriend's neck, loving the sharp scent of expensive aftershave. This was for _him_. Louis was all hotted up for _him_. He bit down onto Louis's collarbone and sucked hard, loving how his boyfriend weakened in his arms.

"_Harry_," Louis groaned, panting slightly and rocking their hips together.

Smirking, Harry dropped to his knees and slid Louis's shirt up higher, revealing those stunning abs. He pressed a kiss against the golden skin, just below Louis's navel, then raised his head higher and licked down the middle crease. Louis squirmed and scrabbled at the wall, looking for something to hold onto. Harry gripped his hips and tugged his boyfriend closer to his face, tracing the contours of the toned stomach with his tongue.

"Holy fuck Harry!" Louis whined and Harry could feel under his chin just how much his boyfriend was enjoying this. He kissed down the middle crease again, sucking the skin lightly until he reached the top of Louis's jeans. Sitting back, he yanked the leather belt open and pulled down the zip, fast but with care. Louis arched and whimpered. Harry then tugged both the jeans and Louis's black boxers down to his knees and swooped in, licking a bold stripe up Louis's hard on and then wrapped his lips around the glistening head. Louis groaned loudly and fisted Harry's hair tightly. Smirking a little, Harry sucked, _hard_ and Louis's knees buckled.

Pulling off, Harry chuckled and took a firm hold of Louis's hips - swivelling them around so his boyfriend was leaning against the cubicle door. "Hold on to that coat hook," he advised and waited until Louis had wrapped his hands around it – holding on for dear life. Then Harry ducked back down and took Louis's dick into his mouth again. He sucked hard and smiled around his mouthful as Louis swore vividly. He then started to slide his mouth up and down, keeping the suction relentless and letting his tongue smooth down the underside of Louis's shaft. Louis was already beside himself, arching, swearing and groaning – giving up a constant stream of 'oh god… fuck… yes… unnngh… fuck… oh… oh… OH… God… fuck… yeah… like that… ungh…"

Harry couldn't help but raise his eyes and watch Louis writhe above him. Jesus, he thought, Louis was like pure sex – all sensuous, debauched and filthy hot. With his head thrown back in ecstasy, he looked so young and raw. Harry sucked harder, loving how he could pull such guttural groans of pleasure from this gorgeous man.

"H… Harry," Louis panted, "n… not gonna last… much… longer."

Harry doubled his pace, pressing his tongue around the head every so often and reached out, with one hand, to fondle Louis's balls. That's all it took and, with a sharp cry of warning, Louis's hands tightened painfully in his hair as he spurted hotly into Harry's mouth.

Harry kept sucking until Louis was finished.

When the last drop had been rung from him, Louis collapsed back against the door, panting and sagging a little after the orgasm, Harry sat back and looked up at his boyfriend with hooded eyes. Like the pro he was becoming, he stared Louis right in the eye and very deliberately… _swallowed_.

Louis whimpered and slowly sank tremulously to the floor. Harry gave him a moment to get his bearings before leaning forward and kissing his lips softly. He kept kissing him until Louis stopped trembling and was able to return the favour.

Harry never lasted long when Louis was blowing him. The combination of Louis's hot mouth on his dick and the brush of those delicate eyelashes against his stomach, undid him within minutes.

Afterwards, it took Harry three attempts to get up off the cubicle floor. Louis had just about sucked his soul out and he felt like he could do with a nap to recover. Louis just chuckled and pulled him to his feet, kissing him sweetly, lingering a little on the pull back. They helped each other straighten up and then sneaked out of the bathroom, one at a time. The hallway was clear and Harry couldn't resist pulling Louis into the dark corner next to the dance floor to give him one last kiss. Louis grinned into it and, despite their recent orgasms, Harry couldn't help deepening it - licking his way into Louis's mouth with a fervour that surprised even him.

A noise from behind made them spring apart though. They turned to see a girl rounding the pillar. She looked at them with recognition in her eyes and a worrying level of shock. Quickly checking that she had no camera or phone in her hand, Harry gave her an awkward smile and walked past her quickly, heart hammering. Louis followed close behind him. Nearly caught… _again_. But _so_ worth it.

"Jesus Christ," Zayn swore, when they returned to the bar, "please don't tell me you had sex in the toilets." He passed Louis back his Magners with a grimace.

"Okay, I won't tell you we had sex in the toilets," Louis replied, smirking as he raised the bottle to his lips.

Harry, grinning, sat on the stool he'd been sitting on previously and sprawled back lazily against the bar - looking like the proverbial cat who'd caught the canary. Liam groaned and threw a peanut at him, "Can't you at least _try_ to look like you haven't just had the orgasm of your life?"

"Hard to do," Harry drawled, feeling entirely too smug, "when you've just had your brains sucked out your dick."

"_Harry_!" Louis wailed, blushing hard and hiding his face in his hands, mortified for his friends.

"_Ewwww_!" Zayn groaned, closing his eyes, as Niall and Liam made similar protests of disgust, "I really, _really_ didn't need that image. Eww eww eww."


	8. Chapter 8

**Yahoo! News**

One Direction scooped their fourth Best British Single – _Stage Lights_ - at the Brit awards last night along with Best British Group and Best British Album – _Public Duty_ – making them the act of the night…

**The Metro**

BABY BOY FOR BOYBAND SINGER, ZAYN MALIK!

Last night, a spokesperson for the hit wonder-band, One Direction, announced Zayn Malik's girlfriend had given birth to a healthy baby boy at St Mary's Hospital, London. The couple are said to be absolutely delighted although they have yet to choose a name…

**Yahoo! News**

Pop wonders, One Direction, set tongues a-wagging last night by not only taking home three coveted Grammy awards (Best Album, Best Song, Best Performance by a Group) but by their on-stage antics too.

We are very rarely treated to any PDA's between the band's married couple, Liam and Niall, but last night they awarded us a lot of hand-holding and some smooching on stage during their second award – for best song.

The audience were practically salivating at the sweet moment, which lasted no more then a few seconds – just enough time for Zayn to ladishly comment into the microphrone "be thankful they're wearing clothes. I'm still scarred after walking in on them last week."

Long gone are the days of public outcry at any homosexuality on prime time American TV! We probably have Adam Lambert to thank for that, bless his soul.

Thank goodness for it too otherwise we probably wouldn't have been treated to the spectacle of _Harry and Louis_ kissing while receiving their _third_ award. Alas, the kiss between Harry and Louis was done more as a joke, trying to better their band-mate's earlier action. That aside, I don't know about you but it certainly made me feel rather hot under the collar. If they ever decide to come out as a couple, and it probably wouldn't surprise many people if they did, they could easily steal Kygie's (Georgie Henley and Kyle Luther's) crown of hottest celebrity couple!

Take a look for yourself…

**Twitter**

Lourrykissnow Louise Grainger

FLAIL! /huas43oetu5a/louisharrygrammykiss

1 minute ago

castielsearthslave Domius

Lourrykissnow OMG HOTTEST THING EVA! IS DEAD!

15 seconds ago

99carrots Scott Fry

Lourrykissnow can't stop watching… mesmerised

2 minutes ago

puddysporks Pat Jenkins

Lourrykissnow it's the way Harry touches Louis's cheek that gets me every time. So damn HOT it's ridiculous!

10 seconds ago

joemcelderry91 Joe McElderry

Harry_Styles anything you and Louis want to tell us ;)

1 minute ago

Zilo4eva Evie

My heart is broken :(

2 minutes ago

Harristoylestheromance Claire Anderson

Lourrykissnow THEY ARE SO TOGETHER! FLAIL! I don't care whether they say it was a joke, nobody kisses like that without having feelings for the other person!

25 seconds ago

Harristoylestheromance Claire Anderson retweeted by L_Fergie

Lourrykissnow THEY ARE SO TOGETHER! FLAIL! I don't care whether they say it was a joke, nobody kisses like that without having feelings for the other person!

Retweeted 15 seconds ago

Harristoylestheromance Claire Anderson retweeted by Real_Liam_Payne

Lourrykissnow THEY ARE SO TOGETHER! FLAIL! I don't care whether they say it was a joke, nobody kisses like that without having feelings for the other person!

10 seconds ago

Twitter is over capacity

Too many tweets! Please wait a moment and try again.

Amazingly, One Direction had no gigs or commitments the night of Harry and Louis's one year anniversary. So they decided to celebrate it in their own special fashion. It started with a lazy morning in bed until they were both sated and content. Then they had a late breakfast on the patio – enjoying the London summer heat as they sat on the steps, with their plates and mugs dotted about on the ground around them. Niall and Liam were nowhere to be seen, which gave them peace to be alone. As much as they loved their bestfriends/bandmates, it was nice to have the house to themselves for a change.

As he stretched, feeling the sun burning down sweetly on his legs, Harry glanced at Louis beside him and knew he'd love to live like this forever. Him and Louis, in a house of their own, sharing a bed every night and spending the weekends (or any day off) just lazing about together. He would even love to add a few kids and maybe a dog or two into the routine in a few years. It would be perfect.

"What you looking at Curly?" Louis drawled lazily.

Harry shrugged, hiding his smirk. "Just thinking, once again, that with longer hair and a touch of make-up, you would still make the prettiest girl in England."

Louis drew in a sharp breath and the next thing Harry knew he was falling sideways off the patio and onto the grass, laughing. Louis followed, pinning him down, and thus ensued another one of their wrestling matches. Laughing throatily, as they rolled back and forth, Harry thought he would be just as happy staying like this too.

They spent the afternoon at Old Trafford watching Manchester United trump Chelsea 2-0. They came away from the game in high spirits and slightly cooked from the late summer sunshine. The train ride back to London was a good laugh and they actually risked sitting in the standard section instead of business class to listen to the hilarious drunken rabble. It was quite an education and they disembarked at Euston with several new (rather rude) chants in their repertoire. They caught a tube back to their house and changed quickly before taking the tube to Tottenham Court Road for their dinner reservation at the prestigious Paramount restaurant.

One Direction were members of the Century Club and were good friends with the management _and_ the head chef. No eyebrows had been raised when Harry reserved them a _quiet_ table. Of course Liam had to let the cat out of the bag, teasing Harry lightly about being romantic for their first anniversary. Chef just happened to be listening in and, grinning privately that his suspicions about the lads had been confirmed, promised Harry he would make the meal extra special for them.

Indeed, when they got there that night, their waitress, Josephine, let them to a private table surrounded by a wall divider. It was right next to the glass corner and gave them breath-taking views over the city. To their surprise, Josephine told them their starters would be out in a few minutes before they'd even ordered anything! She also brought out a bottle of expensive champagne and filled up their glasses, commenting, 'compliments from the management'.

"Wow," said Louis, looking at Harry with pleased surprise, "is this your doing?"

"Not exactly," Harry chuckled, "Liam was here when I reserved the table and he kind of let the cat out of the bag that it was our anniversary to chef."

"Aah, Chef, he's always been way too invested in our love lives," Louis chuckled. "Remember when Niall and Liam came here for their second anniversary – before they got married?"

Harry laughed, "Yeah, he baked them a cake with their initials entwined and served them every kind of food that could possibly be classed as an aphrodisiac."

"It was good cake though," said Louis, a little wistfully.

"That it was," Harry conceded and then smiled, "anyway, enough about Liam and Niall, it's _our_ anniversary." He picked up his champagne glass and held it up to Louis, "so what should we toast to? One year without one of us ending up in hospital again? Or," he leaned over the table a little, leering, "one year of the best sex ever?"

Louis raised an eyebrow, pausing the ascent of his glass, "Depends on whether you want to get lucky tonight or not?"

Harry licked his lips and pasted on his most charming smile, which wasn't hard when it was Louis he was trying to charm. "Well, in that case," he said silkily, "I think we should toast the fact that somehow I've managed to land myself the most gorgeous boyfriend in the world. He's so gorgeous that half the time I can't control myself around him. He just has to smile and I feel like the world is falling out from under my feet. But, that's not all that's amazing about him; he's funny, sweet, generous, brave, considerate, easy-going, exciting, _flexible_, smart, passionate, talented, intriguing…"

Louis leaned over and cupped Harry's cheek, putting his hand over Harry's mouth and effectively stopped him talking. "Hush now, you've scored."

Harry smirked and leaned forward, kissing Louis softly across the table. There was a polite cough from behind them and they pulled back quickly, blushing a little as Josephine stepped forward with some plates. She put them down and the lads looked over the food with interest. Then, just as the waitress started to leave, Harry frowned, "Um, could we have some cutlery please?"

Josephine turned and smiled, "Chef says there's no need for cutlery for this course."

"Oh," said Louis, getting it and smiling, and Harry looked over at him in confusion.

"Thanks Jo." Once she had disappeared behind the partition, Louis picked up one of the entrees and held it up to Harry's mouth, "finger food – for _sharing_."

"We owe Chef the biggest tip ever," Harry grinned, suddenly getting it. He opened his mouth and let Louis feed him, taking a moment to suck Louis's fingers clean.

It was a fantastic meal. Chef made them their favourite main courses. And, for dessert, produced a large bowl with a huge slab of red velvet cake drowned with raspberry and chocolate sauce. It was decorated with lots of bits of spun sugar and had an entwined H and L iced on the sponge. Josephine gave them two spoons and left them to it.

"Move your chair around to sit next to me," Louis requested. Harry did so and Louis scooped up a messy spoonful of the pudding, putting it to Harry's mouth. Indulging his boyfriend, Harry opened his mouth obediently and accepted the gooey spoonful. He nearly slid out his chair in pure ecstasy. It tasted _amazing_. So sweet and creamy and rich and zingy from the raspberries and sticky from the chocolate… He moaned a little in pleasure, taking his time to chew. But before he could swallow, Louis pulled his mouth down and kissed him.

Harry's eyes widened in shock as Louis pressed his tongue into his mouth, stealing part of his gooey mouthful and pulling it into his own. Then Louis sat back and made a show of swallowing. Harry gulped, just when he thought his boyfriend couldn't get any hotter… he quickly filled his spoon up so he could return the favour.

They stumbled into the house giggling like idiots, practically falling all over each other as they stepped over the threshold. They weren't actually drunk, just giddy with life and more than a little turned on.

"Huh," Louis paused in the middle of the hall and Harry, kissing at his neck, chuckled,

"What?"

Louis pointed to a note taped to the banister. Harry pulled away and looked over.

_Liam and I are spending the night at Zayn's. Enjoy your anniversary guys, Niall x_

He grinned and wrapped his arms around Louis from behind, "We've got the house to ourselves for a _whole_ night!" he rumbled. "Where do you want to have sex first?"

Louis turned, his eyes hooded and burning bright, "take me to bed," he whispered.

Harry's eyes softened and he pressed an urgent kiss to Louis's lips. Then he took Louis's hand in his, "my pleasure," and led the way upstairs.

"What would you like?" Harry mumbled against Louis's throat as they lay kissing on the bed.

"Hmm?" mumbled Louis distractedly, tilting his head up to give Harry better access.

"You can have anything you want tonight," said Harry, sucking at Louis's collar bone. What was it about Louis that turned him back into a horny teenager? "Anything you want. Live out your wildest fantasy."

Louis smiled, pulling Harry's head back up to kiss his mouth again, "So long as I get to return the favour."

"Of course," Harry chuckled before pulling back a few inches. "So… what would you like? What's the one thing you've always been too nervous to ask me to do for you? This is a one time offer so you better make it good!"

"Really?" Louis asked, biting his lip and peering up prettily from under his fringe.

"_Really_," Harry nodded, smiling and looking down soppily into his boyfriend's deep blue eyes.

"And you won't laugh?" Louis asked cautiously.

Harry licked his bottom lip trying not to laugh already, "I won't laugh. _Promise_. Even if it's something ridiculous like dressing up."

"Okay then…" Louis pursed his lips and thought for a moment. "Strip for me."

"That's it?" Harry pouted in disappointment. "You see me naked every night."

"No," Louis reached up to tuck a stray curl behind Harry's ear, "I mean a proper strip. I want you to dance and tease me – the full works. Oh and to some music too."

For some reason Harry blushed. He had never once been modest about being naked and certainly not with Louis but… this would be flaunting it in a purely sexual way. Dancing sexily wasn't exactly his forte. But it was what Louis wanted… He nodded. He could do it - although he figured he was going to look rather silly.

He stood up and stepped away from the bed as Louis rolled over and fiddled about with their iPod station. With his finger hovering over the play button, Louis rolled back over and grinned, "ready?"

Harry nodded and Louis pressed play. The brass intro to '_you can leave your hat on_' flared from the speakers. Harry raised a disbelieving eyebrow at Louis but Louis just waved his hand in a motion for Harry to get on with it.

Taking another step back, Harry repressed the urge to giggle and waited for the intro to finish. At the last minute he ducked forward and picked up an old navy prop cap of Louis's that lay under the bed. It was a little dusty but Harry didn't care. He put it on, tucking some of his curls inside it. The moment the steady thud started, he began to thrust his hips gently, just like in the film. Louis nodded along in appreciation. Harry slipped his suit jacket over his shoulders seductively and turned, slowly shrugging the jacket down his back. As the cuffs slipped off his wrists, Louis cheered and Harry turned in time to the music, throwing the jacket at the bed. Louis caught it and grinned. Next was his tie. He gripped it with two hands at the knot and rolled his hips. Then he slowly began to tug the tie apart before whipping it off and tossing it towards Louis. Louis grinned and caught it as well. Then Harry started to dance some more. Slowly and as sexily as he could - with plenty of hip rolling and touching of himself. He reached for the top button of his shirt and undid it. Then the next, slowly revealing his chest. Louis wolf-whistled. There was a pause in the music and Harry smirked. He took both sides of his half-open shirt and tugged _hard_. It ripped in two. Louis's eyes widened and then darkened. Harry shrugged the ruined shirt off and threw it at his boyfriend. Louis battered it away absently, his gaze firmly on Harry's revealed chest. Harry wasn't particularly vein but he knew his abs were in pretty good shape these days. Not as good as Louis's but certainly nothing to turn your nose up at. It felt good to see Louis clearly appreciating him.

As seductively as he could, suddenly desperate to make this as good as possible for his boyfriend, Harry unlatched his belt and tugged it out of the loops. It swung out wildly but he caught it and draped it over his neck. Then he slinked forward, sashaying his hips until he was within arm's reach of the bed. He reached forward and grabbed Louis's ankles. Looking Louis right in the eyes, he smirked and yanked his boyfriend hard. Louis found himself suddenly sitting at the edge of the bed, turned on like never before. Harry bent forward a little and slid the belt from his neck and put it around Louis's. He then used it to pull Louis forward and brushed their lips together teasingly. Louis whined lowly and swayed forward. Harry leaned back though and ran his hands down Louis's thighs, towards his knees. In time to the music, Harry then slithered slowly onto Louis's lap and swivelled his hips, thrusting their groins together. He could feel just how turn on his boyfriend was and increased his pace. Louis's hands reached out to grab his hips but, smirking, Harry shook his head and pressed them firmly back to the bed. Louis wanted to be teased so he was going to be teased. He continued to rock his groin over Louis's, effectively giving him a lap dance, making sure he ground down on every rotation. He'd never had a lap dance before nor had he ever _given_ one so he just did what felt right. Louis seemed to enjoy it. To the point that Harry was deliriously hard just watching his boyfriend's reactions. Louis was leaning back on his elbows, panting hard, his eyes glazed over and groans slipping helplessly past his lips.

As the song hit it's climax, Harry stepped back and dropped his trousers. He kicked them off and moved forward until he was between Louis's legs again and bending down over him. "Lie back against the pillows," he rumbled into Louis's ear. Louis did so, scrambling shakily backwards. His chest heaved as Harry slowly crawled up his body, rubbing up his clothes until he was staring down into Louis's eyes. The song was over now and Harry swooped down, kissing Louis hard. Louis whined, wrapping his arms and legs around him, kissing back frantically. For a few minutes they just made out, rubbing against each other and fisting the other's hair.

Eventually, Louis pulled back, panting wildly. "So…" he breathed, nuzzling into Harry's curls as Harry kissed at his neck, "what would you like me to do for you?"

Harry pulled back slightly, proud of how red and marked Louis's neck was now – _his_. Louis was _his_ and everyone would know that tomorrow. Well, sort of. They'd know Louis belonged to _someone_ anyway. _Harry_ would know it was him. The thought made him feel ridiculously smug.

But, back on the topic at hand. It seemed that Louis was genuinely up for returning the favour. Harry had had lots of fantasies over the last year but which one did he most want to happen? One in particular came to mind. It was a little weird, he'd admit, and not very adventurous. But… he _really_ wanted to see it. The thing was… how much would Louis rag on him for such a lame desire? He supposed there was only one way to find out,

"You promise not to take the piss?"

Louis raised a wary eyebrow, obviously wondering what weird and outrageous thing Harry would come out with, "I promise… but I draw the line at stilettos."

"What about eyeliner?"

Louis opened his mouth to reply and then blinked, his expression slowly turning into disbelief. "Eyeliner… you want me to wear _eyeliner_? And do what exactly?"

"You can do anything you like," said Harry quickly, "but would you do it wearing eyeliner?"

"I…" Louis was at a loss of what to say. Of all the things he thought Harry might come out with he had never expected something so… _simple_ as eyeliner. "Yeah… if you have any. But why though? Of all the things you could have asked for, and I know you have some interesting kinks, why do you want something like that?"

"Have you ever seen yourself in eyeliner," Harry breathed.

Louis nodded, "Yeah I wore some for Halloween a few years ago. I looked like a lesbian wearing a zombie costume."

"You looked fucking hot!" Harry retorted, "So you'll do it then?" he asked, heart hammering with hope.

"Sure," Louis replied, shrugging as he sat up, "have you got any?"

Harry blushed a little and nodded. He did. A brand new pencil he'd bought a few months ago in hope for this very moment. It was in the nightstand drawer along with… Harry paused, mid reach.

"What's wrong?" Louis asked quietly, pressing a kiss to his collarbone. Harry lowered his hand and turned back to his boyfriend, biting his lip. "Uh oh," Louis chuckled, his warm lips brushing Harry's shoulder, "that expression always means trouble. Out with it, then. What's on your mind?"

When Harry didn't reply Louis frowned and sat up straighter, meeting his eyes, "Harry?"

Harry thought back to that phone call over a year ago. He remembered how sure Louis had been, how scared he was of Harry being disappointed. How scared he'd been of doing something he didn't want to just because Harry had asked and Louis didn't want to let him down. If Harry asked now and Louis said yes, how sure could he be that Louis actually wanted to do it?

"Forget it," Harry said, shaking his head and reaching back towards the drawer. But Louis's hand stopped him, grabbing his wrist and holding him back.

"Don't do that," he said warningly, "_tell me_, what is it? And don't bother trying to lie."

_Shit_, Harry thought, he was in trouble now. If he didn't tell Louis the truth then Louis would know and be pissed… and if he _did_… well things could get awkward. "Okay," he sighed, knowing he had no choice, "look I know the idea makes you uncomfortable and I swear we don't have to if you don't want to – I won't be upset or anything… but… on the principle that if you don't ask you don't get…"

"_Harry_," Louis warned again.

"Okay, okay," Harry took in a deep breath, "how would you feel about going a bit further tonight?"

"Further," Louis repeated warily, "how much further?"

"All the way," Harry admitted.

"Um…" Louis looked incredibly uncomfortable, squirming a little on the bed. It was the look Harry knew meant Louis was trying to figure a good way to get out of the situation.

"It's okay," he said softly, patting Louis's thigh in reassurance, "don't worry about it. I just thought I'd ask."

"Wait," Louis protested as Harry returned to searching for the eyeliner, "I haven't said _no_ yet!"

Harry looked back at him and smiled, reaching out to cup his cheek fondly, "You don't have to Louis, it's written all over your face. I'm not going to let you do something you don't want to just to please me. I would never forgive myself." He turned back again to the drawer but Louis drew him backwards.

"It's not that I don't trust you," he implored, looking worried, "I'd _love_ to be that close to you but…" he bit his lip and looked down at his lap, a little embarrassed, "I don't know. I guess the whole idea of it squicks me out a little. I mean… it's _dirty_."

Harry chuckled, he couldn't help it. "You and your weird hygiene obsessions. You're the messiest person I know and yet you freak like an FSA inspector over personal hygiene."

"I'm sorry." Louis apologised, still staring down at his lap.

"Hey," Harry reached out to touch Louis's cheek again, "don't be sorry. It's just another quirk that makes me love you so much."

The corner of Louis's mouth lifted in a tentative smile and he raised his head to meet Harry's gaze.

Harry brushed his thumb gently over Louis's cheek bone, "would you feel any better if I said you could wear a condom _and_ scrub your hands straight after?"

Louis punched him on the arm, glaring, "shut up. Don't take the mickey!"

"I'm not," Harry replied earnestly, leaning in to kiss Louis's lips, knowing he was treading dangerously close to upsetting his boyfriend.

Louis bit his lip again, "What if… what if I don't li…"

"Then you tell me and we stop," Harry interrupted, staring at Louis in complete seriousness.

Louis continued to worry his bottom lip, "Who would be the um… top?"

Harry smiled, "You can take whichever position you feel most comfortable with. Although, I was thinking we could take turns tonight. Get both first times out of the way."

"Hmm…"

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Is that a good hmm or a bad hmm?"

"I…" Louis pulled a face, "okay," he sighed, "let's do it. If it's horrible then at least we can say we tried it."

"Are you sure?" Harry asked, narrowing his eyes as he studied his boyfriend, watching for any signs of _un_sureness.

Louis nodded.

"Louis," Harry warned, "if you're not sure, tell me now. I have no problems with never doing this. What I will have a problem with is you trying to please me by doing something you don't want to."

"Harry," Louis sighed, leaning forward to press a kiss to his mouth, "I'm sure. Just…" he swallowed, "take your time?"

"We'll go as slowly as you need," Harry promised, kissing him back, longer and deeper.

"How aren't you nervous?" Louis asked when they broke apart, somewhat in awe.

"You serious?" Harry snorted, "I'm fucking quaking in my boots. But… someone told me on good authority that it's one of the best feelings in the world, once you've got the hang of it. I don't want to miss out on doing something amazing with you just because I'm scared of trying something new."

Louis relaxed a little, "I never thought about it like that," he said quietly, "and it's _you_. I love doing anything with you…" He reached up and tangled his fingers into Harry's hair. "Do it," he breathed, tugging Harry closer.

Harry paused, "You want me to top first?" he asked in surprise.

"Yeah," Louis nodded.

Harry let out a shaky breath. He suddenly realised that this was a big responsibility he was taking on. Effectively he was going to be taking Louis's figurative virginity and that meant it was probably going to hurt Louis a little – tight muscles and all that. But, if Harry didn't do this right then he could hurt Louis a lot worse. He had no experience of doing this before so there was a greater chance he _would_ mess it up. Suddenly he wasn't so sure of himself. But then Louis started to undress himself and Harry got distracted by the toned abs suddenly on view. He realised that they had all night to get to the serious part, for now he could play and appreciate – work his way up to it. So he did.

Once they were both gloriously naked, they spent about half an hour just kissing, licking and touching each other, occasionally rolling over so they had turns being on top. Harry loved lying on top of Louis, feeling his boyfriend's hot, lithe body under his, skin soft over hard muscle. He especially loved it when they were both sweaty and writhing, rutting their groins together in hapless abandon.

He got so carried away chasing climax that he nearly forgot what they were attempting to do in the first place. Without breaking their heated kiss, he blindly felt for the drawer and pulled out a bottle of lube. He hoped it was the normal stuff and not the flavoured. It was.

"Roll over," he murmured into Louis's ear and couldn't help but groan when Louis did so eagerly. Leaving the lube sitting next to them on the mattress, he started kissing down Louis's spine, rocking his boyfriend's hips so that Louis's dick rubbed against the sheets. Louis gasped and panted. Then Harry pulled Louis's hips up until Louis was on his hands and knees. Immediately, Harry reached around and started to jerk him off. He tried not to think that this was a weird and definitely new position. To be honest, he didn't like it very much, mainly because he couldn't see Louis's face. However, he wanted to be able to see what he was doing. Fumbling blindly wasn't an option tonight.

Harry reached for the lube and stopped jerking Louis for a moment to squeeze a generous amount onto his fingers. Then his left hand returned to Louis's dick while his right headed for that previously forbidden area. He had no idea what it was going to feel like touching there and his index finger made contact before he truly ready. Louis jumped and tensed and Harry leaned forward to press a kiss to his boyfriend's spine, calming him (and himself). He slid his finger over the slightly wrinkled skin, feeling it's shape and tried not to think about the grosser side of what he was touching. He dipped his finger into the slight indent and smeared the lube around. He then made gentle circle movements with his finger, pressing very lightly and feeling the muscle quiver. Louis was tensing up, he could feel it against the tip of his finger, the opening firming up then relaxing a little, only to tighten again. It was then that he could feel Louis shaking. He stopped instantly and drew away. He was _not_ going to do this. Sliding up so that he was practically lying over Louis's back. He kissed Louis's cheek and murmured, "turn over."

Confused, Louis did so and Harry rolled back, pulling Louis on top of him and into a hug.

"Why did you stop?" Louis asked, frowning.

"Louis," he soothed, "you were shaking. I'm not going to do something that scares you so much. It's not exactly a turn on for me to know you're nervous of what I'm doing to you."

"You didn't have to stop though," Louis replied earnestly, "it's just my body being stupid! Sure I'm nervous but I want to do this. Ignore my shaking!" He rolled over again and raised up on to his knees, presenting himself, "Please?"

Harry closed his eyes, finding that submissive movement of Louis's _way_ too hot to handle. "Fine, but I mean it Louis. If you want to stop then you tell me!" He got himself behind Louis and bent down to kiss Louis's spine again. Squeezing some more lube onto his fingers, he returned to massaging Louis's opening again. He could feel Louis making a conscious effort to relax, only it wasn't good enough for Harry to feel confident going further. So, he took matters into his own hands, literally, and thumbed the top of Louis's dick. Louis gasped in pleasure and relaxed. Harry took his chance. He pressed harder on the opening and the top of his finger slipped inside. At once Louis tensed again, the ring of muscle squeezing around Harry hard.

"Are you okay?" Harry croaked.

"Y… yeah," Louis whispered shakily. "Feels weird though."

Harry smiled, he could echo the sentiment. It was hot and silky inside and he wasn't sure whether it was a turn on or whether it was just plain gross. He told himself it was the first and, very slowly, wriggled his finger and it slipped in a little further. Louis made a grunting noise and shifted.

"Still okay?" Harry checked.

"Yeah, just weird," Louis replied. "Not really pleasurable though, sorry."

Harry chuckled, "Give me a chance." He wriggled his finger some more until it was fully inside, right down to the first knuckle.

Suddenly Louis giggled, it sounded a little manic.

"What is it?" Harry asked, warily.

"Nothing," Louis replied, shifting again, "just can't believe you've got your finger up my arse."

Harry couldn't help an immature snigger at that. It was a little ridiculous now he thought about it. "Hush," he giggled, "you're ruining my moment of triumph."

Louis looked back at him with a raised eyebrow, "what triumph? Having your finger up my arse? Congratulations."

Harry chuckled, "I meant my triumph of being the first person up here and…" he started to slide his finger experimentally, "stealing your arse cherry."

"My _what_?" Louis choked, "_Arse cherry_? What creepy things have you been watching?"

"They were for legitimate research," Harry defended. "I wanted to know something about what I was going to be doing."

Louis laughed and Harry took the opportunity to wriggle a second finger inside. Louis tensed instantly, emitting a pained gasp. Harry froze. "Okay?" he checked. Louis quivered. "Uh… honestly?" his voice was shaky, "kind of hurts." Which Harry knew translated as 'it hurts a lot'.

"Sorry," He apologised, bending down to kiss Louis's spine, "let me know when it feels okay to move again."

After a few long moments, Louis nodded and Harry tentatively pressed a little deeper. Louis whimpered and Harry retreated back a little. He then pressed forward again, going in a little more, then pulled back. He continued this slow descent until he was in to his bottom knuckles.

"So far," Louis ground out, "I'm not seeing where the hype for this is coming from."

"Do you want me to stop," Harry asked softly.

"No," Louis shook his head, "I'm okay."

Experimentally, Harry thrusted his fingers gently, trying to loosen Louis up.

"Ugh," Louis groaned, wincing.

Then Harry curled his fingers slightly and Louis froze up with a surprised, "_oh_!"

Harry stopped, suddenly anxious, "was that a good oh or a bad oh?"

"Good oh," said Louis, sounding surprised once more, "try that again. _Please_."

Chuckling, Harry thrusted his fingers again and curled them at the last moment, brushing against something fleshy.

"Ungh," Louis groaned and this time Harry could tell it was a good groan. He did it again and again until Louis was rocking back onto his fingers. He carefully added a third and kept up the steady pace. He was hard, achingly so and Louis's groans were only making him harder. He lasted as long as he could but eventually he could take no more. He pulled his fingers out and wiped them on one of Louis's discarded socks. "Do you want me to wear a condom?" he murmured.

"You don't have to," Louis replied, equally as quiet, "your choice."

Harry wasn't going to. He wanted to feel this – especially if there was chance he might not get to do it again.

"Kneel up against the head board," he rumbled. Louis did so as Harry lubed himself up. He then shifted up behind Louis so that his chest was right against Louis's back. They were both already slick with sweat and the slide of their skin felt good. Louis turned his head and they met in a soft kiss. Sucking on his boyfriend's lower lip, Harry reached out and took Louis's left hand, interlocking their fingers. He pulled back a little from their kiss and rubbed their noses together, "love you," he murmured.

"Love you too," Louis replied softly, joining their lips together again. As they kissed, Harry lined himself up and pressed forward. There was no point in lying. It wasn't the most amazing moment in the world. It hurt Louis a lot - to the point it brought actual tears to his eyes. For Harry, there was a level of how tightly his dick could be squeezed before it was more uncomfortable that pleasurable. Louis's arse was tighter than pleasurable.

"Don't know how Liam and Niall do it," Harry panted, torn between pulling out for relief or waiting to see if things got better. To his surprise, it _did_ get better the longer he held still. It got better for them both. Once Louis had relaxed some, and adjusted, it actually felt okay. In fact, it felt better than okay. The pressure on Harry's dick was absolutely amazing and so was the heat. It was even better than being inside a girl – though maybe it was because it was _Louis_. "Oh my god," Harry found himself whispering in awe, "I'm _inside_ you."

"I can _feel_ you inside me," Louis replied, sounding equally awed. He clutched back at Harry's hands.

Slowly and with great care, Harry rocked his hips. Louis gasped and shuddered in response.

"Okay?" He croaked into Louis ear.

"I don't know," Louis replied faintly, "it's… intense."

Harry rocked his hips again. Louis closed his eyes and held on tight as Harry got a steady rhythm going. To say Harry was enjoying this would probably be an understatement. There was no way this was going to last long – at least for him.

It had been years since he'd had penetrative sex with a woman. Despite what the media and many of their fans thought, he was _not_ easy, and, to be honest, he'd never particularly enjoyed sex with women all that much. It was something he could take or leave. Now he knew why. He liked _this_ kind of sex so much more. Again, maybe it was because it was _Louis_. He didn't know and, right now, he didn't care. He was too busy enjoying the heat and pressure, loving the push and pull of Louis's muscles and the way the hot tissue seemed to cling to his dick. Already he could feel the sweet tension building in his groin – he was getting close. In a way he was glad because his thighs were starting to burn with the effort of thrusting upwards. As he thought this, he accidentally slipped forward, losing his balance. Louis groaned with a loud, "Ungh!"

"S-sor," Harry started to apologise when Louis cut across him with a demanding,

"_Again_. Do that _again_."

Frowning, Harry tried to recreate that angle and was rewarded by Louis throwing his head back onto Harry's shoulder and hissing, "oh God. Yeah. Like that!"

It was then Harry realised Louis was actually enjoying it – _really_ enjoying it. He redoubled his efforts, making sure he kept hitting that spot which made Louis swear so deliciously. He also reached around to jerk him off too, in time with his thrusts. Louis got more and more vocal – a turn on in itself – and was practically climbing the wall in pleasure. The only warning Harry got of Louis's impending orgasm was a wailed, "God… _Harry_!" Then Louis was spurting wetly over his hand and the headboard – trembling and jerking with the power of it.

Harry groaned, feeling the sweet ache of his own orgasm surge and, with one more thrust, emptied himself deep inside Louis.

"Oh god," Louis whimpered as they shakily drew apart. He slid down onto the mattress and curled up into Harry's embrace, trembling uncontrollably. Harry held him tight, burrowing his face into his hair and soothing his fingers up and down Louis's back. They were both panting wildly, hearts racing and skin slick with sweat. For Louis, feeling Harry come wet and hotly inside him was, at first, the most erotic thing he had ever felt. He changed his mind rather quickly when it started to leak out though. _That_ was possibly the grossest feeling _ever_ – maybe along with the uncomfortable throb in a place where throbbing never normally occurred.

Aside from that, though, he was more than happy to try that kind of sex again – although maybe _with_ a condom next time.

"Harry?" He murmured.

"Hmm," Harry muttered back, sounding half-asleep.

Louis looked up and sure enough, Harry's eyes were closed and his face slack in the way it always did when he was snoozing.

"You falling asleep on me?" Louis teased, prodding at Harry's chest.

"Uh uh…" Harry mumbled, "wouldn't do that… just resting my eyes."

"Resting my arse," Louis chuckled, "you're such a _guy_. One orgasm and that's you out for the count."

Harry cracked an eye open, smiling a little dopily, "I _love_ you."

Louis rolled his eyes and grinned, "I love you too. So _fine_, have a power nap."

Harry's eyes closed and he snuffled, curling in closer to Louis's body. Louis sighed, he supposed he could manage to wait a bit longer to clean up. Even if it did feel kind of disgusting.

Harry woke up to the glorious feeling of something hot and wet enveloping his dick. It sucked, particularly when it reached the head and something rougher stroked against the sensitive flesh. Harry fisted the bed clothes. Louis didn't often wake him up with a blow job – mainly because Harry had this thing where he found it hard to get aroused within half an hour of waking up and even harder to actually get off even if he was aroused. This little quirk was something they had learned very early on so they tended not to try - to save Harry any silly feelings of embarrassment and Louis any equally silly feelings of inadequacy. Right now, however, Harry was about as hard as he could be. It was only as Louis made a crude slurping sound, as he pulled off to take a breath, that Harry remembered what they had been doing earlier. He started to sit up to question the hygiene factor – particularly since Louis was a little pedantic about that sort of thing. But Louis's mouth slid back down him again and sucked gloriously hard. All sensible thought left Harry's head as he watched his boyfriend bob up and down his shaft. Then Louis looked up, eyes ringed in smokey black and Harry came. Just like that.

Louis barely had time to swallow before Harry yanked him up and rolled him over onto the mattress, kissing him hard.

"Mmmfh," Louis grunted as Harry effectively snogged the life out of him. He could do little but hold on tight and try to kiss back. Poor Louis looked rather dazed when Harry eventually pulled back to suck in some much needed air. There was no question as to where this was leading. And now that the time was here, Harry started to feel rather nervous for himself. But if Louis could go through with it, when he'd been so nervous, then so could Harry. He let Louis roll him over so that he was on the bottom and dug his fingers into his boyfriend's silky hair, enjoying the way Louis started to kiss down his neck. There was something about having Louis's weight on top of him that did funny things to Harry's heart. Louis wasn't all that heavy but he had enough muscle on his slim frame to make Harry feel restrained. Harry liked the feeling and he liked being able to support Louis's weight too. There was something powerful about having Louis in his arms.

He gasped and arched in a mix of pleasure and pain as Louis nipped at his throat and sucked hard.

"Turn over," Louis ordered huskily in his ear.

Harry shook his head, "Wanna see you…"

Louis straightened up and looked down at him seriously, "You sure?" Harry nodded "Okay," said Louis softly, "then lift your knees up."

Harry did so, suddenly fascinated by how confident Louis seemed to be. Louis didn't bother with anymore foreplay, he just reached straight for the lube. Harry had just orgasmed after all, he wasn't going to get much more relaxed than that.

Like Harry had done, Louis took it slow. To Harry's astonishment, Louis's fingers worked him confidently, doing things that Harry had never thought to do. Even more to his astonishment, Harry found it incredibly stimulating and was getting hard all over again, with no hand having touched his dick. Louis concentrated on stroking the ring of muscle which sent tingles of pleasure right to the core of Harry's pelvis. By the time Louis had slid a condom on himself and lubed up, Harry was thrusting helplessly against the bed eager for more.

The sensation of Louis entering into him was both the weirdest and hottest feelings he'd ever experienced. Sure, he would perhaps have liked to have felt Louis without the latex but he respected Louis's needs and would never press him about it. He felt very little discomfit, only a fullness that occasionally edged on the line of pain but a pleasurable pain at that. He actually had a moment of guilt over the fact that it had been more painful for Louis – maybe he should have taken it slower… or something. When Louis was all the way in he settled himself over Harry, holding his face in his hands – resting their foreheads together - and whispered, "you okay?"

"Yeah," Harry breathed, suddenly feeling oddly emotional. His arms were draped around Louis's neck, his legs around Louis's hips and he could feel Louis's length intimately deep inside him. It was hard to describe the feeling; he felt full and stretched but it also felt _good_, kind of achy and tingly – particularly whenever Louis shifted. It only got better when Louis started to move for real. Thank god nobody else was in the house because Harry couldn't keep quiet. It turned out that he was a little vocal during anal sex. Louis seemed to love it, encouraging him with breathy moans of his own.

It was probably a combination of Louis staring down at him in absolute wonder and the incredible bursts of pleasure whenever Louis hit a particular spot, that brought Harry so quickly to the edge of orgasm again. Louis reached down to jerk Harry off but Harry stopped him, wanting to see if he could get there without extra stimulation. It turned out he _could_. It was a different kind of orgasm too. It throbbed right from deep within, curling his toes and making him flush white hot. As Louis finished a few moments later, crying out into Harry's neck, Harry thought he was the luckiest fucking guy on the planet.

"Niall and I are thinking about trying for a baby," said Liam casually.

Harry inhaled his coffee and Louis coughed his cereal spectacularly over the breakfast table. Of all the things Liam could have said, and in all the ways he could have said it, he had to chose the one way that conjured _that_ picture in their heads.

Wiping his mouth with his hand, Louis choked, "You know that's anatomically impossible. Unless one of you is secretly a girl?"

Liam rolled his eyes, "You don't say," he replied sarcastically.

"Heh…," Harry wheezed, scrabbling at the desk, unable to clear his wind pipe and starting to panic. Louis jumped out of his chair and thumped Harry hard on the back. Harry coughed the coffee up with a choke of relief and massaged his throat where the heat had burned him. He continued to cough and splutter though, gasping in air like he was drowning.

"You okay?" Louis asked kindly, hovering at his eye level with slight concern. Harry's eyes watered at the burning in his lungs but he managed to nod, "Better… thanks."

Louis returned to his seat and surveyed Liam with a more serious expression, "What route are you thinking of going down? A surrogate? Egg donation? Adoption?"

"We're looking at egg donation," said Liam quietly, looking down at the table, his cheeks flushing a little, "and my eldest sister has offered to carry for us."

"_Wow_," was all Louis could say. Two more of their band were ready to become _fathers_. Louis felt something warm spread inside him. He couldn't wait to become an uncle again. He absolutely adored Jaden and Caleb.

"Does that mean you and Niall are thinking about moving out?" Harry asked, suddenly a little anxious as he realised that he wasn't ready for Niall and Liam to fly the nest yet.

"Not at this moment in time but it's certainly on the cards for the future." He smiled softly at Harry's disappointed expression and reached out to pat his hand, "but we'll come back to visit and you'd be more than welcome at ours, anytime. In fact, we'll be looking for you to baby-sit since you do such a wonderful job with Jay and Cay."

"Don't know whether you could afford us," Harry sniffed, looking away.

"Yeah," Louis nodded, with a grin, "you don't get our level of expertise without paying through the nose."

Liam chuckled, "Carrots, Ugg Boots and several trips to Nandos. I think I could cover that okay."

Harry sighed dramatically, "Damn, you know us too well!"

Liam laughed for a moment and then shook his head, "Seriously guys… you really okay with this?"

Louis shifted closer to his best friend, patting his arm, "Of course we are Liam. We're right behind you 100%. You and Niall will make _great_ Dads."

"Yeah," Harry nodded, "if Zayn can do it then you and Niall have got no problem."

"Only," Louis pulled a face, "please don't call it Justin."

Liam burst out laughing and promised. .

**Heat Magazine**

LIAM AND NIALL TO BECOME DADS!

Couple expecting baby through surrogate mother rumoured to be Liam's sister

**The Disc**

One Direction latest album 'Podcastination' goes _Diamond_!

**Music Heroes**

ONE DIRECTION SELL 11,236,591 COPIES OF PODCASTINATION

**Closer**

NIALL AND LIAM EXPECTING TWINS!

**Just over 1 year later…**

Louis had forgotten how eerily quiet it was in the ICU. He glanced over at Harry and wondered what was going through his head. Harry probably had the worst memories of this place. How many times had he watched Louis dying in here, how many times had he watched him arch violently under the shock paddles and prayed that this time it would work? How many nights had he sat beside the bed and wondered if there would be reason to come visit the next day? How many times had he begged pleadingly to a God he didn't believe in that there _would_ be a reason to come in the next day?

Hillary was at the nurse's station as they stepped over the threshold. She hadn't changed a bit. Her blond hair was still in a short fluffy ponytail and her lipstick rose red. She greeted them both with the biggest grin and ran around to hug them in delight. "It's so good to see you!" She cried, "you look so well!" Hearing the commotion, Janine suddenly appeared out of one of the rooms and squealed a little as she rushed over to hug them too. Harry and Louis chuckled and returned her hug.

"So what brings you back to our little corner of the world?" she breathed, pulling back from Harry, "I thought you swore you'd never be back here? Not that I blame you!"

Harry looked to Louis who stepped forward, "Well," he said with a shy smile, "we thought, after everything you did for us a few years ago, it would be nice to say thank you in the only way we probably can." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a slightly crumpled envelope. "Hopefully this will help pay for a new heart monitor or anything else you might need."

Hillary took it from him with a frown and Janine looked over her shoulder as she opened the envelope. Their eyes widened comically when they saw the size of the cheque.

"Whoa…" gasped Janine, "that is an insane amount of money!" Hillary's hand trembled a little around the paper.

"Nothing we can't afford," Harry admitted, "and it's really the least we can do."

"Wow," Hillary whispered, "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," said Louis kindly, "but I was wondering, is Room 317 free?" He chuckled at their surprised expressions and explained, "In a strange way, I kind of miss the place – being here was about the only time I've truly had any peace. I wouldn't mind having one last little memory of it where none of us are actually in the bed."

Harry caught a strange look of understanding pass between his boyfriend and Hillary. It puzzled him a little but he didn't dwell on it.

"Actually it is," she said, nodding with a smile. "We're really quiet at the moment. Go on through and take as much time as you need. I'll go and give this to the department head," she indicated the envelope. "Stick around though, I think our manager will want to speak to you about this."

Louis thanked her and unashamedly took a hold of Harry's hand, leading him towards the familiar room. Harry wasn't entirely sure he wanted to go but he let Louis pull him along anyway. It was Louis and Harry would follow him to the ends of the Earth if he asked.

They stopped outside the familiar door and the chrome number 317 still had the slight scratch on it as it did almost seven years ago. Harry recalled the moment he had first saw the number plate. He was 18 and it was quarter to two on a dark Thursday morning. He had pushed the door open so tremulously only to see Louis lying in the bed, hooked up to all those scary machines, pale, unconscious and so damned fragile; he'd looked like a ten-year old.

Harry's chest tightened at the horrible memory. He could almost hear the steady whoosh from the respirator and the quiet beeping from the heart monitor. Worst of all, he could remember all to clearly the way the beeping tone changed as Louis's heart stopped. He closed his eyes.

Louis opened the door and the room was silent. Harry opened his eyes. It hadn't changed at all since Liam was in here two years ago. Stepping inside, Louis's fingers tightened around Harry's and he gently pulled him in too. The door shut easily behind them, the soft thud almost final in it's pitch. Harry shivered.

"I have nothing but bad memories of this room," he croaked, closing his eyes again as he remembered standing right on this spot and watching the doctor start to call time.

"I know," said Louis softly, rubbing his thumb gently against Harry's, "and I want to change that."

Harry's eyebrows rose in warning, "If you're about to suggest that we have sex in here…"

"No!" Louis replied quickly, grimacing at the mortifying thought of being caught by the nurses, "_God_ no."

"So what _do_ you have in mind?" Harry asked warily.

Louis just smiled at him and gestured to the two seats on opposite sides of the bed. Hesitantly, Harry went to the furthest one while Louis took the side nearest the machines. The chairs were as hard and as uncomfortable as Harry remembered.

"I have a confession," admitted Louis and he shot Harry a sheepish smile across the empty bed, "the main reason we came here today wasn't to give them the cheque – I could have just done a bank transfer."

"So why are we here then?" Harry asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Because," Louis licked his lip, "I think we need to come to terms with the past." He tilted his head to the side, his eyes softening as he gazed at his boyfriend, "I know you still have nightmares Harry – I hear you sometimes." Harry blushed. "But that's not entirely a bad thing," Louis added quickly, "It shows me that you care. However, the last thing I want is for you to be in pain so I thought we could work together to make the memories easier. Here, give me your hand." Slowly, Harry reached out, wondering what Louis was going to do. He was surprised when Louis just linked their fingers together in the middle of the bed. He smiled and tightened his grip, loving the feel of Louis's long, slim digits wrapped around his. They'd only recently taken up holding hands in private places and, although it was only a small gesture, Harry got stupidly giddy every time Louis's hand reached for his. "Tell me, what do you dream about the most from back then?"

Harry bit his lip and ducked his head a little, "it's always the same, you collapsing at the arena, then your heart stopping and the doctor calling time…" Harry shuddered.

"I thought so," said Louis quietly. "I have nightmares too. Not about me, but about you."

Harry looked up in surprise and squeezed Louis's fingers reassuringly when he saw how uncertain his boyfriend looked having admitted that. He smiled in encouragement for Louis to continue. Louis sighed and worried his bottom lip. "The day I found out you were in that car crash," he began, "I sat in the waiting room, out there, while Hillary explained what had happened. But I couldn't concentrate on what she was telling me, I remember so clearly just thinking; if Harry is in Room 317 then there's no chance of him walking out of here alive. There are only so many miracles and chances fate will allow. Somehow I knew that if this was a movie then the twist in the story would be that despite all the near misses for me, it would actually be _you_ that died in this room and you wouldn't get any second chances. Sounds stupid I know but that's just how my brain works." He laughed hollowly, "You have absolutely no idea how relieved I was when Hillary told me you were in Room 319."

"Why haven't you ever told me any of this," Harry asked quietly.

"Because I thought it was silly," Louis replied, "but I realise now that it's not. The reason it's not is because I'm still terrified of it coming true. It would still be the fitting end of our story. God, you have no idea how much I dread hearing we have a gig anywhere near Birmingham."

"If you dread it so much," and there was no accusation in Harry's voice, just confusion, "then why did you bring us here today. Isn't that tempting fate?"

Louis sniffed, "Maybe… but I'm sick of being afraid and I don't want you to be anymore either. So, I thought we could make this room be a place we remember fondly rather than a place of dread."

"And how do we do that?" Harry asked with a growing smile.

"We start by remembering the positives from the past."

Harry frowned, "the positives?"

Louis nodded, "Not everything that happened in here could have possibly been bad, we must have gained or learned something positive from the experiences in this room. Think back to that first time… can you think of anything positive you learned from that? I know I can."

"What's that?" Harry asked at once, curious.

"I learned I had the most amazing friends in the world," said Louis seriously, "who stayed by my bedside and looked after me until I was back up on my feet. It wasn't until then that I understood how much I love you all and how much you care about me in return. Without that event I may never have known how deeply our friendships run and I am actually thankful that I did get the chance to learn it."

"I guess that's something I can echo," Harry nodded, with a small smile. "I learned that my feelings for you ran deeper than I ever expected and I suppose I might not have realised how deep if it hadn't been for you nearly dying in this room."

"When _did_ you realise…?" Louis asked quietly. He didn't need to embellish as Harry understood perfectly.

"It happened in stages," he admitted, "it was your mum who put the idea in my head in the first place."

"My _mum_." Louis blinked in surprise.

"Yeah," Harry nodded, smiling at the memory, "It was while you were in the coma. She was curious as to why I was taking it harder than the rest and asked me my intentions."

"Your intentions!" Louis choked, blushing in embarrassment at his mum asking Harry such a thing – particularly at a time when they hadn't even known they liked each other more than friends.

Harry chuckled, "Yeah, she said she was trying to understand why we were so close and acted the way we acted. She wondered if we had ever been anything more than friends. After I nearly choked to death on my sandwich, I told her, rather fiercely, that we hadn't. But I guess… because she had asked she kind of put the idea in my head and I began to wonder."

Louis squeezed his fingers and asked softly, "when did you stop wondering and know?"

"The night after we had that argument about me mothering you," Harry admitted. "Remember when we woke up later on and there was that moment before Niall burst in through the door? I was starting to lean in to kiss you. That's when I knew, it kind of scared me at the time."

"Is that why you started acting all funny around me?" Louis asked slowly, suddenly remembering how Harry had started to act weird and how he'd got upset and ran home.

"Yeah," Harry nodded sheepishly, "I had some stupid notion that if we weren't so close then my crush would disappear. It was never about how our bromance appeared to others – it was because I didn't know how to handle the feelings I was starting to get for you."

"You idiot," said Louis fondly, shaking his head, "you should have just told me!"

"I know that _now_," Harry chuckled, raising their hands and pressing a kiss to Louis's knuckles. "So… when did _you_ realise?"

"Honestly?" Louis grinned, shifting on his chair. "I first began to question my feelings for you after you gave me that Eskimo kiss in the woods."

"Really?" Harry was surprised and felt strangely pleased with himself.

Louis nodded, "At the time I thought you were going to kiss me and I was disappointed that you didn't. Then I kind of freaked out a little over the fact I wasn't freaking out. But I knew for sure the morning after we nearly kissed at the Christmas Show. I spoke to Joe McElderry and he made me come to my senses – he made me realise that not only did I like guys but that I also had a thing for ones with curly hair and gorgeous eyes."

Harry licked his lips and looked down at the bed, Joe McElderry was someone they hadn't discussed yet, not once in two years. Harry always felt his chest constrict whenever he heard Joe's name. The thought of Joe having Louis first… "I've always wondered if there was ever been more between the two of you than just friendship," he said carefully.

Louis blinked in surprise, "between me and Joe?" He chuckled loudly, "You've got the wrong member of One Direction there mate. Try Liam. Poor Joe had the biggest crush on our boy. But he knew from the start that Niall was the one Liam wanted. Even before Liam and Niall were a couple! Poor guy." He laughed again and shook his head, "no, Joe and I have always been just friends, we just used to commiserate with each other over our pathetic love lives like a pair of girls."

"Huh," Harry scratched the back of his neck with his free hand, feeling ridiculously relieved, "I uh… feel a little bad now."

"_Why_?" Louis replied in amusement.

"Um… well I kind of hated on the guy for a long time because I thought you two were into each other."

Louis stared at him for a few long moments and then burst out laughing, letting his had fall forward to the bed, "you were _jealous_ of Joe?" He asked and peeked up, his blue eyes alight with amusement. Harry may have fallen a little more in love with him right then. "Oh my god. I really shouldn't find that funny but I do." Louis laughed again.

"So you never once…"

Louis sat up and looked Harry straight in the eye, "I never once kissed Joe McElderry, slept with him or indeed touched him in any way deemed inappropriate." His smile turned sheepish, "However, I should maybe point out that I _have_ kissed Liam before."

"_What?_" Harry's mouth fell open in complete shock.

"But it was only once," Louis added hastily, "and it was an experiment to see whether Liam was gay or not. And I will tell you this right now, it was the worst and most awkward kiss I've ever shared with anyone and I actually wondered if I was completely heterosexual afterwards."

Harry started to laugh, "What did Liam think?"

"The thought was mutual," replied Louis, laughing too. "At the time it proved that he at least had feelings for Niall but not whether he was gay or bi."

Harry nodded and smirked, "Is there anyone else you've kissed which you think you should tell me about?"

Louis shook his head and then paused, remembering, "I snogged Mary once."

Harry snorted, "I _know_. I was there. The image still scars my memory."

"You're just jealous," Louis sniffed, "so what about you? Any kisses you need to own up to?"

Harry shook his head, "Nah, you know who I've kissed."  
"Okay," Louis squeezed Harry's fingers affectionately again, "so we've established that the main positive from the first time is that we discovered we liked each other. I would say that was a very big positive indeed – well worth all the trouble."

"I guess," said Harry slowly, looking thoughtful.

"No need to guess," Louis smiled at him, "it's true. So," he looked up at the ceiling and then around at the walls, "thank you Room 317 for pointing us in the right direction – each other."

Harry laughed and looked around too, "yeah, okay, _thank you_ Room 317."

"Now," Louis straightened up, "what about the second time?"

Harry arched an eyebrow, "Are we counting that time you ended up in hospital in Doncaster?"

"Do we need to talk about that?" Louis asked. Harry shook his head and Louis smiled again, "Okay, then we talk about the second time I was in this room, four years after the first time. What positives can we draw from that?"

There was a long beat and then, "I learned I can't live without you," said Harry quietly.

"_Harry_," Louis breathed out unsteadily. He pulled Harry's hand closer and pressed a lingering kiss to his fingers. "I can't live without you either but I'm not sure that's a positive." He swallowed thickly, "how about the fact it brought us _back_ together, instead?"

"That's true," Harry murmured, "it might have been years before I stopped being stupid." He suddenly chuckled, "I literally got the sense knocked into me."

"Yeah," said Louis fondly, "That you did. I think it was the first time I was truly ready for you to kiss me."

"I wish you hadn't stopped me," Harry muttered with a small smile, playing with Louis's fingers.

"No you don't," Louis shook his head, chuckling, "barely a minute after you left I threw up - quite spectacularly I might add. Be thankful it wasn't all over you."

Harry laughed again, "So I guess we owe this room another thank you."

"What, for not letting me throw up on you?" Louis pulled a face.

"No," Harry replied seriously, "for showing us we were ready to be more than friends."

Louis looked around the room again and smiled. "Thank you Room 317 for being the best matchmaker in the world. And also…" his smile faded as he swallowed thickly again, "thank you for taking Liam and not Harry that third time. You have no idea how much Harry means to me. I really don't think I could live without him. He's my everything."

Harry keened softly and tugged on Louis's hand, standing up. "You're my everything too," he returned and pulled Louis gently across the bed into a kiss. It was one of those affectionate kisses, full of meaning, and Harry sank his fingers into Louis's hair, holding him close. When they started to part, Harry sucked on Louis's lip until it left his with a slight pop. He then smiled softly down into Louis's dazed eyes and rubbed their noses together.

"Way to make a man weak at the knees," Louis murmured. Harry chuckled and thumbed his cheek affectionately. Then they sat back down; Louis a little unsteadily Harry noted with pride.

"So," Louis cleared his throat and absently smoothed down his hair, "um… now that we've established some rather major positives about having been in this room. I think we should cement it as being the most special place in the world for us."

"I'm still not having sex with you in here," Harry shot back, grinning.

"That's _still_ not what I have in mind," Louis retorted, rolling his eyes. He took Harry's hand again in his, resting them against the white sheets, and spared a moment to caress his boyfriend's fingers. "About two years ago you made me the most amazing promise and… I think I'm way overdue on reciprocating it."

Harry started to say something but Louis shook his head, holding his finger to his mouth. "I know I could say what I'm about to say in a million other more romantic places but they'd only be places of beautiful scenery. Here, in this sterile and unattractive room, what I say will actually mean something." He paused and licked his lips. He then looked Harry right in the eye, capturing his gaze with sapphire fire. "Ever since we met, Harry, we've had a connection – an instantaneous friendship that was deeper within a week than any of the long friendships I'd had before. Over the years, you've wormed your flirty little self right down into the core of my being and took over my heart." He paused and smiled softly, glancing about the room, "I was never afraid of dying Harry. All those times in hospital? I knew I wasn't going to die - no matter how close I came. Do you know why?" Harry shook his head, his eyes wide, and Louis's smile grew, "because my heart has been in _your_ hands since the moment you picked me up off the stage at boot-camp and twirled me around. And I trust you with it. This," he pointed at the heart monitor to his right, "can beep as much as it likes. My heart belongs to you and only _you_ have the power to say otherwise." He slowly stood up and walked around the bed so he was standing in front of his boyfriend.

"I _love_ you Harry." He said softly, "I love absolutely everything about you. Your curly hair, your green eyes, your gorgeous smile, your beautiful voice, your dirty little laugh, the way you can charm the pants off everyone you meet – including me – and the way you will bend over backwards just to make someone smile. I love the way you can cheer me up just by touching my hand and how you can make me laugh by just twitching your nose, no words necessary. I _love_ the way you know what I'm thinking without me having to tell you, I love how you often finish my sentences and can pass me what I need before I even know I need it. I love how you always forget to buy more shampoo when you're running low and end up using mine thinking I don't notice. I love that you always leave your empty mugs all over the house and every few weeks we have to spend a whole day disinfecting them all. I love that you leave your underwear all over the bedroom floor and claim that it's mine when we both know it's not. I love the way you always end up spilling half the sugar over the counter when you're trying to refill the sugar jar. I love the way you sneak downstairs for a cookie in the middle of the night and leave tell-tale crumbs on the table. I love the way you always blame it on Niall whenever I call you on it. I love the way you can never remember where you left the car keys and treasure the days you have to call me because you've left your wallet at home. I love that half the time you pretend to forget these things only because you want an excuse to see me. I love the way you can't go even an hour without touching me in some way, even if it's just my elbow. I love how when you hug me from behind you rest your cheek against mine and when you hug me from in front you make me feel so loved and protected in your arms. I love when you kiss me and you hold my face or run your fingers through my hair and make me feel so cherished. I adore every second we make love and you take your time kissing me from head to toe so I always know it's more than just sex. I love how you always wake me up in the mornings with a cup of tea and a kiss, no matter how bad our breath is. I adore how the last thing you always say to me at night is _I love you_. Most of all, though, I love how you make me a better person and, although neither of us are perfect, it feels perfect when we're together." Louis swallowed hard. Then without letting go of Harry's gaze, he slowly and very deliberately sank to one knee, "Harry… will you marry me? Please?"

For a moment Harry didn't say anything and then he slowly slid off the chair and kneeled in front of Louis. Reaching out, he took Louis's face gently in his hands, his eyes shining with utter adoration. "_Yes_."


	9. Chapter 9

**John Barrowman Live**

The game plan was to act as though everyone already knew that Harry and Louis were together and to break the news of their engagement like it was half expected. Harry thought they should have warned John about what they were about to reveal before hand but the others said it would be best to keep it a surprised for everyone.

John Barrowman clasped his hands together and announced, giddily, "Words cannot express how excited I am to introduce my next guests! It has been three years since they were last on this show and since then they have taken the music world by storm. Sir Paul McCartney has deemed them the 21st Century Beatles, EMI declare them one of the most successful bands in decades and, earlier this year, their new album went _diamond_ within three weeks of release! They are idolised by women up and down the country and are five of the richest men in the UK. Heterosexual gentleman cover your ears now! This is going to be loud! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome…" his voice was already drowned out by the shrieking audience, "One Direction!"  
The five of them walked out onto the stage to the sound of their latest single and the noise of the audience increased ten-fold. John had his hands over his ears, grinning. They took a bow, waving casually before heading over to the couches, where they shook John's hand and took a seat. Niall nearest John, followed by Liam, Louis, Harry and Zayn. It took almost a full minute for John to calm the audience down.

"Wow," he gasped, shaking his head, "what an entrance!" The audience laughed along with the lads. "Phew, I've come over all a flutter. I have five of the hottest, fittest, richest men in the country on my couch! And two of them are _gay_!"

"But happily married to each other," Niall pointed out laughing - patting Liam's knee and getting a big aww from the audience.

"My heart is in pieces on the floor," John sighed, "but you do make a ridiculously handsome couple, I must say."

Liam and Niall both blushed and the audience burst into delighted laughter.

"And I must also offer my most sincere congratulations because you're about to become dads too! Twins!"

The audience whooped, Zayn, Louis and Harry joining in, stamping their feet a little.

"Are you nervous?" John asked when the noise had died down.

Liam and Niall looked at each other, smiling.

"A little," Liam admitted, "but we're also very excited."

"We know it's going to be a bit crazy having two at the same time," Niall added, "but we're well up for the challenge."

"Yeah, the challenge of convincing _us_ to baby sit for you on a regular basis," Harry put in, earning a laugh. "Like Zayn did."

"You've only got yourself to blame," Zayn replied sassily. "You shouldn't have been so eager to babysit Jay and Cay in the first place."

"That's because we're the best Uncle's in the world," Louis proclaimed. "We've even got the mugs to prove it!"

John laughed at their banter, "So you all pitch in then?"

Harry nodded, "We help each other out as much as we can. Jaden absolutely adores Louis. So much so, that Louis is his official bedtime storyteller. Usually about seven in the evening, on our days off, the phone will ring and Jaden will be like, "Hi Uncle Harry! It's bed time again! Tell Uncle Louis I want the Beauty and the Cowell story tonight and he has to do the funny voices! Oh and daddy said your hair's curly because you eat too many carrots."

Louis choked, getting the rather crude reference and reached over to smack Zayn on the back of the head. Harry chuckled and said, looking at Louis with a twinkle in his eye, "It's true. I eat a lot of carrots because I _like_ carrots. A lot."

John chuckled, "Sounds like you'll keep the young ones entertained alright. So when are the twins due?"

"Sometime in the middle of December," Liam replied proudly. "Just in time for Christmas." He looked out into the audience, "would anyone like to see a picture!"

The screams of _yes_ were almost painful. Laughing, Liam pulled out an ultrasound picture from his shirt pocket and held it up. The camera zoomed in and there was a collective _aww_. "You can see one baby is marked A and the other B. That's A's head," he pointed to a lighter blob, "and that's baby B's feet." The audience awed again. Liam chuckled and handed the photo to John to see.

John oohed and aahed over it for a few long seconds before handing it back.

"Wow, One Direction are all grown up now. Getting married and having babies. I remember when we first saw you, you were such cute teenage boys and so very cheeky. Particularly you Harry." Everyone laughed, remembering some of the antics Harry got up to at the beginning of their fame – pussygate anyone? "So, on the topic of you Harry, I guess we should talk to the two members of the band who _aren't_ attached or starting families yet."

Harry laughed and threw an arm over Louis's shoulders pulling him in close, "Funny you should say that." The audience oohhed and Harry laughed again, pressing a kiss to Louis's cheek, "Everyone knows Louis is the only one for me."

"Oh guys," John whined, clutching at his chest, "don't tease me like that. You already know I'm a ridiculously huge Harris Toyles fan."

"In that case," said Louis, "maybe you'd like to see us do this…" he winked at the camera and then reached up, gripping Harry's chin and turning him towards him. The audience started catcalling – genuinely thinking Louis would stop before he and Harry made lip contact. Of course, they didn't and the screams nearly broke the glass in the studio cameras - almost raising the roof clean off when Harry smoothed his thumbs over Louis's cheeks affectionately as he deepened the kiss. The whole audience was up on their feet, stamping and cheering when they broke apart.

"Oh my god, OH MY GOD!" John squealed, falling out of his chair onto his knees and bowing at their feet. Harry and Louis laughed and shared another quick kiss, this one purely for each other as a 'You okay? Can't believe we kinda just came out. I love you' gesture.

"WOW," John breathed, dropping back down into his chair, fanning his face. "That had to be the hottest thing I have ever seen! I may need a few minutes." He put a hand shakily to his ear, listening to something in his earpiece. "Wait wait… oh that's brilliant…" he looked straight into the nearest camera, "I've just been told, we have 18 _million_ viewers tuning in and… both Twitter and Facebook have just crashed. Wow…" He took his finger away from his earpiece and looked at Harry and Louis in awe. "So… I've _got_ to ask… you two are so close and seem to have very few boundaries with each other _and_ you love to play up the bromance in public. It's caused a lot of speculation and debate over the years, some people think you are _more_ than friends and some think you're like brothers. Personally, the romantic in me hopes for the first one… but could you confirm for us today, right here and right now? From the horses mouth, so to speak. How would you describe your relationship to each other? Friends, brothers or more?"

You could have heard a pin drop; every member of the audience was suddenly on the edge of their seats.

Louis's mouth twisted up in amusement, "I thought it was pretty obvious." He shrugged, "I mean we haven't exactly made much of an effort to hide it really."

Everyone stared at them expectantly, evidently waiting for more and Louis realised he had to spell it out, "Harry and I _are_ together. We have been for a long time."

Harry laughed, "We're more than together," he chuckled, holding up his left hand so the silver band sparkled in the studio lights, "we're _engaged_."

**Heat Magazine**

Harry&Louis: We've been dating for 2 years!

**Closer**:

Harry Styles and Louis in shock engagement reveal!

**The Sun**

HARRY AND LOUIS FINALLY COME OUT! ENGAGED!

**The Daily Mail**

Confirmed: 4/5 of 1Direction GAY

**Daily Record**

Gay: 18 Million tune in to hear Harry and Louis confess

**ToylesObsessed Blog**

OMG OMG OMG OMG. If you're on Twitter I'm sure you've all heard by now that Harry and Louis have just been talking about their relationship at the Ravelston Festival Panel. I swear, I nearly died about a gazillion times during it. They are SO IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER! From the moment they walked on stage HAND IN HAND (squee!) they couldn't stop touching each other! It was like the classic chocolate coin video – only a hundred times more amazing because THEY ARE ENGAGED! HARRY AND LOUIS ARE GETTING MARRIED. God, I can't breathe. I am so excited it's unreal. So, before I start running around the house like a flailing idiot again, here's some of the important things they told us during the interview:

1) They have been dating for over two years. The sneaky, sneaky bastards – how dare they not tell us. Ungh. That means they were together when they kissed at the Grammys – I have no idea why I find that so hot but I do. It also means they were a couple when those pictures of them with Jaden in the park were taken. The thought that that was them practising being dads together… argh my _ovaries_! I can't… just… unf

2) Moving on: neither are entirely sure who made the first move. They said they knew years ago that they found each other attractive but decided to wait until they were older to act on it. Louis talked about it quite seriously – saying he had been worried they were too young to make a proper lasting relationship back then. Oh my god, it was so amazing to see Louis talking seriously – and about _Harry_. Be still my thundering heart.

3) When asked when they had had their first kiss together (and to the person who asked this, please marry me) Harry told us, "About two years ago. It was quite an amazing moment and not just for the obvious reason." Louis had giggled; yeah freaking _giggled_, at that. Harry went on to tell us that they had been having 'moments' for many years prior but that people kept interrupting them. He looked down the table at Liam and Niall when he said that so I figured they were the worst culprits. DAMN YOU NIAM! Louis said that he couldn't believe it when the kiss actually happened and kept expecting someone to walk in the door at any moment. SO PRECIOUS. And OMG, Harry and Louis kept blushing and looking at each other so sweetly. See my photos below! How my camera didn't melt I don't know.

4) Now for the most important question: who proposed? I managed to record this part from start to finish without my technology dying for a change. The amazing question was asked by none other than my gorgeous web-wife, the great KooKooNuts. And… the answer…

Harry: It should have been me!

Louis (laughing): But I beat him to it!

KooKoo: Why should it have been you Harry?

Harry: See that ring on Louis's left finger. That's the one he's been wearing on his right hand for the past two years. It was a promise ring _I_ gave him a few months after we started going out. I told him that after we'd been dating for a few years I was going to propose. So technically I called dibs on proposing first and he stole it. But… to give Louis credit, he made it a much more wonderful moment than I could probably have managed.

Louis: Aww (kisses Harry on the cheek). Don't underestimate yourself. The speech you gave me with the promise ring was so amazing you made me cry (cue the whole world going aww!)

KooKoo: If I'm allowed to ask, Louis, did you get down on one knee?"

Louis (laughing): I did

Harry (nodding and grinning like a little lovesick fool, bless him): He really did. I had absolutely no idea he was going to do it either. He gave me this incredible speech about how much he loved me first, before he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. It was very romantic in a manly sort of way.

KooKoo: Were you nervous about asking, Louis?  
Louis (smiling beautifully): No, I wasn't actually. I couldn't ever be nervous of Harry. Since he'd given me that promise ring I was pretty sure he'd say yes anyway. What I did find hard was finding out his ring size without him knowing.

Harry (looking a Louis in amusement – god I could spend the rest of my life quite happily just watching them look at each other): How _did_ you find it out?

Louis: I waited until you were asleep - he sleeps like the dead by the way. A bomb could go off and he wouldn't hear it! I measured his finger with a bit of string, cut it to the right size and took it to the shop. They worked it out from there.

**Seriously, these guys are just perfect.**

5) As of yet they don't have a date for the wedding but they think it'll be some time during the summer of next year. And no, they don't plan to elope to Canada like Niall and Liam.

6) On a completely unrelated note. The Georgian makes an amazing cocktail called a 'Spring Token'. You should try it if you're ever there!

**The Daily Mail**

1D Twins born early

**The Sun**

Tragedy for 1D: twin dies

**The Daily Record**

One Direction sombre at baby funeral.

**The Metro**

Niall and Liam finally able to take baby Jamie home. Despite recently losing one of the twins, Ethan, the lads seemed excited as they left Great Ormond Street Hospital with the little bundle. The whole band was there to lend their support...

**18th June – Cameron House on Loch Lomond**

The quiet is broken by occasional snuffles and quiet coughs and the shuffling sound of feet and clothes moving as their owners shift around in their seats. Myra keeps shushing Caleb who is babbling away, enjoying the echo of his voice, while Liam is bouncing a fussing Jamie on his knee. Somewhere further back, Harry's youngest nephew is starting to starting to whine too – not happy about sitting on his mother's knee when they was such an interesting place to explore.

"I, Louis William Tomlinson, take you Harry Edward Styles, to be my civil husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do us part."

Louis bit his lip, grinning giddily up at Harry from under his fringe. Harry fell a little bit more in love with him right there and then and nearly forgot it was his turn to speak. Thankfully the minister gave him a lead-in. After repeating what the vows meant he indicated for Harry to make his own vow.

Harry could not hold back his ridiculously wide smile as he recited, "I, Harry Edward Styles, take you Louis William Tomlinson, to be my civil husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do us part."

The minister smiled and looked to Zayn and Niall. "Can we have the rings please?" Zayn presented his first and winked at Louis when Louis took it from him.

"Louis," intoned the minister, "place the ring on Harry's finger and repeat after me. _With this ring I thee wed and pledge to you my love and devotion, so long as we both shall live_."

Louis slipped the white-gold band over Harry's left ring finger and slowly pushed it down, looking him steadily in the eyes, "With this ring I thee wed and pledge to you my love and devotion, so long as we both shall live."

Niall stepped up to Harry, offering the second ring. Harry took it and the minister repeated, "Harry, place the ring on Louis's finger and repeat after me. _With this ring I thee wed and pledge to you my love and devotion, so long as we both shall live_."

Biting his lip as he tried to take his time, instead of shoving the ring on Louis's finger like he wanted to – just so that he could make it official sooner, Harry slipped the ring over the tip of Louis's finger and slowly pushed it down – loving the way the silver contrasted with Louis's pale skin. "With this ring I thee wed and pledge to you my love and devotion, so long as we both shall live."

They grinned at each other, bubbling with excitement that they were only one more sentence away from being officially _married_. They looked up at the minister who smiled down at them, enjoying their obvious excitement.

"With the exchange of vows and rings and by the power vested in me by Glasgow City Council, I now pronounce you civil husbands. You may kiss."

Two hundred guests stood up and cheered as Harry and Louis sealed the deal.

**Heat Magazine**

Exclusive wedding photos of Harry and Louis's Wedding!

**The Scottish Sun**

1D singers tie the knot at Loch Lomond

**Closer**

Private Wedding in Scotland for 1D boys

**Star**

Louis: I always wanted to get married in a castle. Cameron House was perfect.

Harry and Louis: We chose Scotland because Harry wanted to wear a kilt and I wanted to get married in a castle.

**5 months later**

**Daily Express**

Niall Horan diagnosed with prostate cancer

One Direction star remains positive about battle ahead…

**The Sunday Mirror**

Niall and Liam present Award for best Newcomer… One Direction couple put on brave united front at Brits despite Niall's current battle with cancer

**8 months later…**

**Heat Magazine**

Poor Niall looks so frail meeting with fans at book launch. The star sports a green beanie to hide the loss of his hair from the chemotherapy. He remains positive and cheerful though, laughing and joking with his band mates and the fans.

**9 years later…**

"Hi Uncle Louis."

"Hi Jamie, how you doing?" Louis greeted as he stepped into the impeccably tidy Horan-Payne living room. It wouldn't stay like that for long, not with everyone coming over… he had no idea why Liam bothered tidying up.

"Fine," the 10 year-old replied with a shy smile, looking up from his homework. He was so like Liam in manner – quiet, studious well behaved and smart. But he was the spitting image of Niall in looks, right down to the shining grey-blue eyes. It both pleased and saddened Louis a little – more for Liam's sake than his own.

"Daddy! Put me down!" Beth whined, wriggling in attempt to get free. Rolling his eyes, Louis put his daughter down and watched her scamper off in search of Bieber – Liam and Jamie's red setter. It was a daft thing; friendly and energetic but you could tell there was nothing going on between it's ears. Beth was mad on it though. The precocious four year old was into anything that meant she could run around and get herself into mischief – and blame it on something else. Louis swore she got it from Harry while Harry said it was all Louis. Liam claimed that it was impossible to tell and that they deserved every moment of her madness for everything they'd done as teenagers. Louis didn't mind so long as she didn't inherit Harry's love for being naked. Although, there had been some worrying signs recently – particularly with her swimming costume with which she stubbornly refused to wear the top of the tankini. Her argument was, 'You and Daddy don't wear tops so why should I?' Louis had yet to come up with a G rated answer.

"Is Dana here?" Jamie asked curiously and Louis could tell the youngster was trying hard to act casual.

"Yeah," he smiled, "she's just helping Harry with Ryan. She'll be in, in a minute Is Liam in the music room?"

Jamie nodded.

Liam was strumming absently on his guitar when Louis pushed the door open.

"Hi," he said quietly.

"Hi," Liam replied, finishing his chord before putting the guitar to the side.

Louis walked in and took a seat on the piano stool, "So did you manage to go down today?"

Liam nodded, looking down at his jeans and tugging at a loose thread. "Yeah, I took Jamie down this morning. We sat and talked about him for a while." Liam swallowed thickly, "Seven years Lou. I lost Niall seven years ago today."

"I know," said Louis softly.

"I miss him so much, even after all this time." Liam sniffed and licked his lips. "Is that normal?"

"I think so," Louis nodded, "because I miss him too. Very much. Then again, I've been accused of not being normal."

Liam smiled weakly, "That's true. So have you and Harry had a chance to go yet?"

Louis nodded sadly, "We went last night. Mum looked after the kids for us. Zayn said he'd be stopping off on his way here."

"Louis? Liam?" Harry called out from the hallway.

"In here!" Louis shouted back. A few seconds later Harry walked through the door with Ryan in his arms.

"Hey," he greeted softly, walking over and kissing Liam's cheek.

"Hi," Liam smiled and then reached up to ruffle the one-and-a-half-year-old's mop of curly hair, "Hey little man, nice to see you. You going to come and say hi to your Uncle Liam?"

Ryan blinked at him and then started bouncing happily in Harry's arms. Harry held him out and Liam took the toddler gently, cooing as he settled the kid on his lap.

"That reminds me," said Louis suddenly, "Liam, I think we need to have a serious talk about Jamie's growing interest in our daughter."

Liam's mouth twitched in amusement, "What can I say?" he replied, "my son has good taste."

"Nice try Payne," Louis retorted, "I want to know what your son's intentions are."

Liam laughed, "His _intentions_? He's ten Louis. She's eight. He probably wants to hold her hand and talk to her about the latest Modern Heroes book. Or discuss their latest projects at school over a romantic cup of orange juice."

Harry raised an eyebrow in interest. "Jamie likes Dana?" he asked thinking it was possibly the sweetest thing ever if it was true. Dana had an interesting relationship with all the other boys belonging to the group. Jaden was like her big brother who completely doted on her. Micah was her little brother who she doted on (as much as she now did Ryan) and Caleb was her rival – Harry had lost count the number of times one of them had had to separate the two from a punch up – they seemed to live to rile each other up. Jamie though, Jamie was the odd one. He was 'like' her best friend but they was something tentative about it that Harry could never put his finger on. Now he knew what!

"Stop thinking about it right now Harry Tomlinson," Louis ordered. "I know what you're like, you'll have their wedding all planned out within the hour."

Harry laughed and dropped himself onto his husband's lap, wrapping his arms lazily around his neck and teasing, "Just because _you_ can't deal with the idea your eldest is growing up."

Louis wrinkled his nose and his hands automatically settled on Harry's hips, "You mock me now but we'll see who's freaking out when she starts wearing mini-skirts and wanting to hang out in the park all night with her chavvy friends. Or worse… dragging us into the city so that she can spend three hours in a huge queue of screaming girls to get her book signed by some teenage band of pretty boys, who've only just learned what their dicks are for."

Harry smiled sweetly, "There are some amazing all girl Catholic boarding schools in London. Maybe we should get some brochures?"

"Really? I _love_ you," Louis declared, pulling Harry in for a theatrical kiss. Liam laughed at the pair of them.

"GET OFF ME!" Dana suddenly yelled, "DAAAAAAAAAAAD!"

"CALEB! Leave her alone!" Myra shouted, "for once, can you just control yourself!"

Harry and Louis drew apart and rolled their eyes, "Zayn's arrived," Harry chuckled.

"You going or me?" Louis asked, resting his forehead against Harry's.

"You," Harry replied, pressing a quick kiss to Louis's lips – just because he could, "the last time I got involved, I accidentally made Caleb cry."

"You mean bastard," Louis murmured back, "fine. Make sure Liam remembers to bring his dress shoes this time."

"I will. Can you take Ryan with you?"

Louis nodded and they shared another kiss before Harry slid off Louis's lap and let him stand up.

Louis walked over to Liam and held out his hands, "Come to Daddy then, Curly Jr, and let's go and find out what's happening with your big sister."

"Bubba!" Ryan told him.

"Yeah, maybe we'll find some carrots too," Louis agreed, tickling his side.

Harry watched them go with a fond smile before turning back to Liam, "You sure you're ready for this?"

Liam nodded determinedly, "It's been long enough."

**Yahoo! News:**

One Direction took to the stage at The X Factor, last night, to perform their first new single in over seven years. The song, entitled 'Everlasting', is a tribute to their band mate who died seven years ago, from prostate cancer.

The lads wore black armbands as a mark of respect to their friend and although their performance was solemn, it was very powerful and moving. The single, although not yet officially released, is currently topping the iTunes downloads chart.

Over 24 million viewers tuned in to hear the band perform – the largest audience ITV has had in almost a decade. Surely there has not been such a successful band since the Beatles. Simon Cowell must be feeling so smug right now.

_The End_


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